I     f 


'■t»r.  |i>nr«»«r^~    .  ".wi ' w*-i»yiw(i; 


-    ,•-.••   .'M^i-^WiV- 


••  • 
> 

'K.'a 


L.Vi 


f*i 


v..  ■>: 


".,?M 


/K?r> 


f?t>Vy' 


l/i?< 


^ 


'^>^0k 


^*l.'i^M 


ki- 


m^^ 


}^, 


>V-( 


'"t'2uv^'i'' 


'■'',-'# 


.1^, 


.''1 


I 


-^.tj?j^''^' 


Francifi  «fe  Lroutrel 

STATIONERS, 

PBINTins  i  BOOK   BINDUM 

46  Maiden  Iiane, 

KEW    YORK.  » 


TELL  JESUS: 


RECOLLECTIONS  OF  EMILY  GOSSE. 


BY 


ANNA    SHIPTON, 

AUTHOR    OF    "the    LOST   BLESSING,"    "THE   SECRET   OF   THE 

LORD,"    "THE    PROMISE    AND   THE    PROMISER," 

"asked    OF    GOD,"    ETC. 


NEW  YORK : 
PUBLISHED   BY  T.  Y.   CROWELL. 

744  Broadway. 


^ci^'-i:^  ^  il4'^ 


CONTENTS. 


-•o*— 


CHAPTER    I. 

Pagx. 
First  Acquaintance, 19 


CHAPTER    IL 
The  Life  of  Faith, 43 

CHAPTER    m. 
Premonitions, 62 

CHAPTER    IV. 
Diligence  in  Service, 77 

CHAPTER    V. 
The  Patience  of  Hope, 96 

CHAPTER    VI. 
Departure, 131 

3 


INTRODUCTION. 


Y  recollections  of  one  dear  to  us, 
and  dearer  still  to  God,  have  no 
pretension  to  be  termed  a  memoir. 
Out  of  tlie  many  testimonies  that  Emily 
Gosse  bore  for  her  beloved  Lord,  my  mem- 
ory most  vividly  retains  those  which  affected 
my  own  spiritual  life  ;  this  has,  therefore, 
obliged  me  to  write  more  of  myself  than  I 
desired. 

M}*  acquaintance  with  her,  which  was 
rapidly  to  ripen  into  an  everlasting  friend- 
ship, began  only  in  the  last  two  years  of  her 
earthly  pilgrimage,  and  I  did  but  gather  up 
tlie  crumbs  from  the  table,  at  which  she 
feasted  with  the  King.  These  have  been 
multiplied    as   the   fragments   of    old,    and 

5 


6  INTRODUCTION. 

have  nourished  others ;  for  the  Lord  com- 
manded them  to  be  gathered. 

Amonsr  manv  witnesses  to  the  blessing; 
which  has  followed  the  simple  incidents  of 
the  following  pages,  and  induced  me  to 
commit  them  to  the  press,  was  a  dear  Chris- 
tian girl,  to  whom  tlie  recital  bore  a  mes- 
sage as  distinct,  as  the  angel's  commission 
to  the  women  at  the  tomb  of  the  risen  Jesus. 

A  fortnight  after  I  had  told  her  of  the 
value  to  my  soul  of  tlie  two  words  which 
form  the  title  of  my  "  Recollections,"  she 
said : 

"  Last  Monday  I  was  asked  by  Mrs. " 

(a  West  End  milliner  to  whom  she  was  ap- 
prenticed), "  to  take  a  bonnet  to  a  lady  in 
Hyde  Park.  It  was  required  by  a  certain 
hour.  Qiiite  unexpectedly  to  me,  when  I 
arrived  at  the  house,  the  lady  desired  some 
alteration  to  be  made,  and  I  was  requested 
to  go  into  the  drawing-room  and  make  it 
there,  as  not  sufficient  time  i-emained  for 
nie  to  return  with  it. 

"  The  work  was  beyond  my  experience  ; 


INTRODUCTION.  7 

T  was  SO  nervous,  I  could  not  thread  my 
needle ;  I  was  afraid  to  touch  what  our 
best  hands  had  put  together.  I  knew  not 
what  to  do.  The  servant  placed  the  mate- 
rials before  me,  and  explained  what  was  re 
quired,  and  I  was  left  alone. 

"  All  at  once  the  words  you  said  the  last 
time  I  came  to  you  flashed  through  my 
mind.  '  Do  not  fret:  tell  Jesus.  Tell  Jesus 
everything ;  he  will  guide  and  help  you.' 
I  thought,  as  I  looked  at  the  white  tulle  and 
flowers,  '  Can  I  ask  him  to  help  me  with 
this  bonnet?'  You  had  told  me  that  Mrs. 
Gosse  had  said  that  she  would  ask  Jesus  to 
guide  her  to  a  pin,  if  she  wanted  one. 

"  I  did  tell  Jesus ;  I  asked  to  be  directed 
in  my  difficult  task,  and  also  for  the  lady  to 
be  disposed  to  like  the  bonnet  when  it  was 
finished.  Soon  I  lost  all  nervousness ;  the 
alteration  was  completed,  and  the  lady  re- 
turned for  answer,  that  it  was  quite  to  her 
taste.  Then,  for  the  first  time,  I  understood 
the  meaning  of  a  '  Living  Jesus,'  and  from 
that  hour  I  learned  the  comfort  of  telling 
him  everything." 


8  INTRODUCTION. 

And  it  was  true.  After  that  time  there 
was  a  vitality  in  the  spiritual  life  of  this 
dear  child,  which  is  often  sorely  lacking  in 
more  advanced  Christians.  Without  Jesus, 
we  can  do  nothing;  with  him,  all  things 
are  possible.  We  may  darken  counsel  by 
words  without  knowledge.  Vainly  of  our- 
selves we  set  bread  before  the  hungry. 
Unless  he  eat  thereof,  however  much  he 
admires  the  feast,  it  profiteth  him  nothing. 

This  early  gathered  blossom  was  another 
seal  to  the  faithfulness  of  Him  who  saith, 
"  Them  that  honor  me  I  will  honor."  The 
most  striking  feature  of  her  new  life,  in  the 
brief  hour  of  testimony  accorded  to  her 
below,  was  the  simplicity  of  her  faith,  which 
enabled  her  to  realize  unceasing  fellowship 
with  Jesus,  to  the  joy  of  her  own  soul,  and 
the  strengthening  and  refreshing  of  others. 

To  the  faint-hearted,  who  see  little  or  no 
result  from  their  labors,  I  would  say,  "  Be 
patient."  It  was  only  in  the  last  days  of 
her  life  that  my  helpful  friend  knew  that  in 
any  way  she  had  been  blessed  to  me.     I  did 


INTRODUCTION.  9 

not  at  once  use  the  privilege  which  she  had 
shown  me  was  mine;  but,  blending  with 
her  unconscious  influence,  the  seed  was 
more  efficiently  taking  root,  and  fulfilling 
that  for  which  I  had  been  sent  to  her.  I 
"  kept  all  these  things,  and  pondered  them  " 
in  my  heart. 

I  lacked  the  realization  of  that  first  truth, 
that  the  Son  of  God,  in  the  glory  of  the 
Father,  which  he  had  with  him  before  the 
foundation  of  the  world,  remained  in  his 
high-priestly  office  the  Son  of  Man,  touched 
with  the  feeling  of  our  infirmities.  And  of 
the  perfect  humanity  of  Jesus,  which  made 
him  still  the  brother  born  for  adversity,  I 
knew  nothing. 

The  daily  life  of  one  whose  eye  is  single 
is  full  of  light,  and  cannot  fail  to  speak  for 
God.  "  Thev  shall  not  labor  in  vain,  nor 
bring  forth  for  trouble  ;  for  they  are  the  seed 
of  the  blessed  of  the  Lord,  and  their  off- 
spring with  them."  But  of  the  times  and 
seasons  when  this  shall  be  manifest  knoweth 
no  man.     We  walk  by  faith,   not  by  sight 


10  INTRODUCTION. 

It  is  enough  that  he  has  said  that  our  labor 
for  him  shall  not  be  in  vain.  Pra\er  is 
answered,  we  know  ;  but  there  is  no  prom- 
ise as  to  manner  or  time.  God's  way  is  the 
safest ;  God's  time  is  the  best. 

The  dews  of  many  a  night  of  weeping, 
and  the  scorching  breath  of  many  a  fur- 
nace fire,  passed  over  the  Word  of  Life  ir. 
my  soul  before  I  entered  into  its  power , 
therefore,  while  we  watch  and  pray,  let  us 
hope  in  God.  "  Behold,  the  husbandmai\ 
waiteth  for  the  precious  fruit  of  the  earth, 
and  hath  long  patience  for  it,  until  he 
receive  the  early  and  latter  rain  !  " 

Dear  reader,  if  you  know  Jesus  as  youi 
Saviour,  beware  lest  Satan  beguile  you  to 
believe  that  you  have  one  want  or  care  too 
minute  for  the  consideration  of 'iie  God  of 
the  whole  earth.  All  things  were  made  by 
him  and  for  him. 

Soon  after  I  began  to  observe  this  truth, 
[  was  sitting,  in  a  time  of  weakness  and 
loneliness,  on  the  sea-shore  —  a  stranger  in 
a  strange  place.     It  soothed  me  to  watch  the 


INTRODUCTION.  1 1 

tide,  as  it  ebbed,  sweep  away  or  deposit 
some  stray  shell  or  weed  upon  the  strand; 
and  I  mused  on  the  mission  of  some  of  the 
treasures  that,  in  its  mighty  tide-work,  the 
sea  brought  or  left  behind. 

It  was  an  evening  in  autumn,  and  not  a 
loiterer  was  left  on  the  shore,  excepting  a 
nurse  and  two  young  children  —  the  elder  a 
fine  boy  of  about  four  years  old. 

The  child  looked  wistfully  at  me.  I  smil- 
ed at  him,  and  he  returned  it.  In  a  few 
minutes  I  felt  a  light  touch  upon  my  arm, 
and  his  blooming  cheek  was  laid  on  mv 
knee,  ds  he  earnestly  gazed  in  my  face  with 
an  expression  of  loving  sympathy.  Per- 
haps he  had  some  sick  one  at  home,  and 
knew  the  power  of  his  sweet  smiles.  No 
matter:  God  sent  him. 

We  talked  together  like  old  friends,  and 
my  heart  lost  its  loneliness  beneath  the  lov- 
ing ministration.  At  length  he  started  off 
beyond  my  reach.  I  watched  him  eagerly 
seeking  among  the  weeds  for  shells.  One 
after  another  he  held  them  to  the  light,  cast 


12  INTRODUCTION. 

ing  aside  each  one  that  was  broken,  as  un« 
suitable  for  his  purpose. 

At  last  his  busy  fingers  held  up  one  which 
gave  him  satisfaction,  and  after  examining 
it  carefully,  he  polished  it  with  his  coat,  and 
then,  with  a  triumphant  smile,  advanced 
and  laid  it  on  my  knee;  then,  stepping 
back  a  few  paces,  he  evidently  enjoyed  my 
unfeigned  delight.  "  For  you,"  he  lisped 
out  —  "  only  for  you  —  all  for  you,"  as  if  I 
might  doubt  my  right  to  his  gift. 

Amid  tender  words  and  kisses  we  said 
farewell,  and  my  little  God-sent  messenger 
reluctantly  obeyed  the  call  of  his  nurse,  and 
followed  her. 

The  shell  lay  in  my  hand  ;  my  soul  had 
risen  like  a  lark  above  the  clouds  ;  and,  with 
a  glad  "  Hallelujah,"  I  praised  the  God  of 
the  whole  earth. 

Again  the  little  fellow  was  at  my  side, 
breathless.  He  gave  an  anxious  glance  at 
the  shell,  and  then  looked  coaxingly  in  my 
face,  while  he  said,  '•  You  will  not  give  it 
away,   will  you?"  I  assured  him  I  would 


INTRODUCTION.  1 3 

keep  it  and  prize  it  for  his  sake.     The  child 
was^one,  and  I  saw  him  no  more. 

I  do  not  own  many  treasures;  if  I  have 
any,  I  count  that  fragile  shell  among  the 
choicest  of  them  —  a  token  from  my  heav- 
enly Father's  hand.  His  baby  minstrel  had 
tuned  my  heart  to  songs  of  gladness :  his 
music,  the  lisping  words  of  a  child ;  his 
instrument,  a  tiny  transparent  shell,  that 
not  a  wave  could  break  without  his  will.  I 
went  on  my  way  rejoicing. 

Such  an  incident  is  puerile  to  those 
who  have  not  cherished  the  remembrance  of 
sadness  and  tears  which  manifested  the 
soothing  hand  of  the  compassionate  God- 
man  while  he  whispered,  "  I  will  never 
leave  thee,  nor  forsake  thee." 

Some  few  years  ago  a  remarkable  trial 
for  murder  took  place  in  Paris.  The  facts 
were  briefly  as  follows  :  —  A  man  who  had 
lived  unhappily  with  his  wife  determined  to 
poison  her.  Long  he  waited  his  opportu- 
nity of  administering  the  deadly  powder. 
One  day,  during  their  dinner,  while  serving, 


14  INTRODUCTION. 

the  husband  mixed  the  poison  in  his  wife's 
food  ;  but  when  he  had  done  so,  he  could 
not  endure  to  see  her  eat  it,  and,  making 
some  excuse,  he  arose  and  left  the  table. 
During  his  absence  from  the  room,  and  be- 
fore the  wife  could  partake  of  the  food,  her 
eye  was  attracted  by  a  spider,  which  let  it- 
self down  by  its  thread  from  the  ceiling 
upon  her  plate,  over  which  it  crawled. 
Disgusted  at  the  sight,  she  could  not  eat  her 
portion,  but  thinking  that,  as  her  husband 
had  not  seen  it,  it  would  not  affect  him,  she 
changed  their  plates  before  he  re-entered 
the  room.  The  man  ate,  and  in  a  short 
time  was  seized  with  cramp,  and  every 
symptom  of  poison  was  evident.  The 
woman  was  taken  into  custody  on  suspicion 
of  having  poisoned  him.  She  declared  her 
innocence,  and,  on  being  questioned,  related 
the  circumstance  of  the  spider,  which  caused 
her  to  change  plates.  The  husband  struck 
by  the  wonderful  work  of  a  little  spider  in 
staying  his  hand  from  murder,  confessed  all, 
and  died. 


INTRODUCTION.  1 5 

The  ant,  the  spicier,  the  limpet  on  the 
rock,  the  mote  that  dances  in  the  sunbeam, 
have  each  their  assigned  place ;  and  He 
who  created  them  can  use  them  for  his  own 
will  and  pleasure.  He  formed  the  mysteri- 
ous chords  within  us,  that  thrill  or  sadden 
beneath  a  touch,  discerned  by  none  but  him- 
self. Nor  is  he  who  rules  the  worlds  un- 
mindful of  the  least  want  or  sigh  of  the  soul 
that  he  has  died  to  save. 

"  Casting  ALL  your  care  upon  him,"  does 
not  imply  such  concerns  as  the  natural  intel- 
lect may  decide  on  as  fit  occasions  for  faith 
and  prayer.  It  necessarily  includes  whatso- 
ever can  burden,  or  tempt,  or  grieve  a  child 
of  that  Father,  who  declares  that  the  very 
hairs  of  our  head  are  numbered. 

Prove  the  blessed  truth  of  faith  in  Jesus. 
Give  him  the  first  place  in  your  heart  and 
counsels;  soon  you  will  feel  that  you  cannot 
do  without  him  in  the  least  matter,  and 
every  occasion  of  going  to  him  will  result 
in  new  manifestations  of  h^  love  and  faith- 
fulness.    Onlv  trv  it ! 


1 6  INTRODUCTION. 

Whate'er  thy  sin,  whate'er  thy  sorrow  be, 
Tell  all  to  Jesus  ;  He  who,  looking  where 
The  weary-hearted  weep,  still  draweth  near 
To  listen  fondly  to  the  half-formed  prayer, 
And  read  the  silent  pleading-  of  a  tear. 
Lose  not  thy  privilege,  O  silent  soul ! 
Pour  out  thy  sorrow  at  thy  Saviour's  feet. 
What  outcast  spurns  the  hand  tliat  gives  the  dole  ? 
Oh  let  him  hear  thy  voice  I    To  him  thy  voice  is  swoet. 

I  am  greatly  indebted  to  ]SIr.  Gosse  for 
permission  to  extract  from  his  narrative, 
"the  last  days  on  earth"  of  his  belovec' 
wife.* 

I  also  acknowledge  the  affectionate  testi- 
mony of  one  who  knew  her  worth,  and 
walked  with  her  in  an  unbroken  friendship 
for  nearly  twenty  years.  Among  the  cups 
of  cold  water,  given  because  we  belong  to 
Jesus,  may  he  remember  her  heart-cheering 
sympathy  in  this  feeble  effort  to  bear  wit- 
ness to  the  experimental  blessedness  of  fel- 
lowship with  God  in  Christ  Jesus;  not  only 
for  ourselves  and  for  the  church,  but  before 
the  world.     It  is  committed  to  Him  whose 

*  "  A  Memorial  of  the  Last  Days  on 'Earth  of  Emily  Gosse, 
By  her  husband,  Philip  Henry  Gosse,  F.R.S." 


INTRODUCTION.  1/ 

blessing  can  alone  cause  it  to  speak  for  him, 
and  to  him  be  all  the  glory. 

I  have  but  gathered  one  eur  of  the  pre- 
cious grain  of  Emily  Gosse's  harvest :  sow- 
ing and  reaping,  we  shall  rejoice  together. 
2 


TELL   JESUS. 


CHAPTER    I. 


FIRST   ACQUAINTANCE. 
"The  memory  of  the  jnst  is  blessed."— Prov.  x.  7. 

WAS   Still   groping   in  the  twi- 


light of  spiritual  dawn  when  I 
first  met  Emily  Gosse.  She  ap- 
peared to  me  then,  as  she  lives  in  my 
memory  to  this  hour,  as  one  of  God's  epis- 
tles, known  and  read  of  all  men,  whose 
influence,  through  the  love  therein  writ- 
ten, leaves  the  reader  nearer  heaven  than 
it  found  him. 

I  had  passed  from  death  unto  life, 
though  I  was  not  peacefully  resting  on 
the  infallible  testimony  of  the  Word    of 

19 


20  TELL  JESUS. 

God  that  it  was  so.  I  was  seeking  for 
assurance  from  the  ever-varying  testi- 
mony of  feeling,  encumbered  by  errors 
and  superstitions,  and  only  a  little  while 
before  had  I  even  known  the  way  of  sal- 
vation. I  acknowledged  that  Jesus,  the 
only  begotten  Son  of  God,  was  the  Si- 
viour  of  sinners,  and  that  therefore,  know- 
ing myself  a  sinner,  I  might  lay  claim  to 
redemption  from  eternal  death  through 
him.  But  I  was  seldom  able  to  say,  "  My 
Saviour."  That  he  had  saved  me  from 
the  doom  of  the  scorner,  I  could  under- 
stand ;  but  as  my  Saviour  from  sin  —  as 
the  Good  Physician — as  the  counselor 
of  my  daily  difficulties  —  as  the  risen  liv- 
ing Jesus —  the  companion  and  friend  of 
my  life,  I  had  not  then  beheld  him. 

Until  I  met  Emily  Gosse,  I  had  never 
seen  a  child  of  God  following  the  Lord 
fully,  in  happy,  cheerful  confidence  ;  nor 
witnessed  Christ  and  his  glory  in  the  life 
of  man  or  woman,  as  the  one  sole  object 


FIRST   ACQUAINTANCE.  21 


of  their  existence.  The  sight  of  it  in  her 
won  my  heart  to  desire  the  same  happy 
path  of  single-eyed  service.  I  remember 
with  what  silent  delight  I  watched  her 
unconscious  testimony  for  Him,  who  was 
ere  long  to  be  realized  in  my  soul  as  my 
own  living,  loving  Lord  ! 

I  had  arranged  to  pass  the  last  summer 
months  of  that  to  me  eventful  year  in  the 
near  neighborhood  of  old  friends,  pleas- 
ant to  me  after  the  flesh,  but  in  nowise 
adapted  to  lead  me  on  the  heavenly  road, 
on  which,  though  blindfolded  and  lame, 
I  had  set  forth. 

Business  required  my  presence  in  Lon- 
don, previously  to  taking  possession  of  my 
apartments.  While  there,  a  lady,  almost 
a  stranger,  called,  and  requested,  as  a  per- 
sonal favor,  that  I  would  accompany  a 
young  relative  to  the  coast,  partly  with  a 
view  to  change  of  air,  but  more  particu- 
larly to  give  her  and  a  friend  the  opportu- 
nity of  meeting  with  Mr.  Gosse,  for  the 


22  TELL  JESUS. 

purpose  of  studying  the  world  of  wonders 
beneath  the  waters,  for  which  his  interest- 
ing works  had  prepared  them.  To  this 
day,  when  my  eyes  rest  upon  an  aquarium 
(for  never  since  that  year  have  I  seen 
those  mysterious  sea-flowers  in  the  crystal 
pools  of  their  own  rocky  homes,)  I  re- 
trace the  links  which  drew  me  nearer  to 
the  great  Creator  of  their  beauty,  and  read 
therein,  not  only  tokens  of  his  infinite 
wisdom,  but  a  message  of  love  known  only 
to  him  and  me. 

My  plans  were  made,  and  very  pleasant 
plans  they  seemed.  They  had  been 
formed  without  any  reference  to  the  will 
of  the  Lord  in  the  matter.  I  knew,  by 
the  hearing  of  the  ear,  that  he  taketh 
heed  of  the  fall  of  the  sparrow,  yet  I 
honored  him  not  by  believing  that  Jie 
setteth  the  bounds  of  the  habitation  of 
the  feeblest  child  of  his  family.  I  had  not 
disregarded  my  proximity  to  the  means  of 
grace,  in  my  settlement  in  my  new  abode ; 


FIRST   ACQUAINTANCE.  23 

but  I  had  equally  sought  to  be  near  my 
friends. 

I  at  once  declined  the  invitation  to  the 
coast,  and  that  so  decidedly,  that  the  lady 
could  no  longer  press  it,  and  we  parted. 
The  Lord  was  guiding,  though  blind  eyes 
saw  it  not.  On  the  eve  of  my  quitting 
London  the  lady  returned,  more  urgent  in 
her  request  than  even  before.  Perhaps 
she  had  prayed  that  it  might  be  granted  ; 
certain  it  is,  that  the  Lord's  purpose  of 
infinite  love  was  in  it ;  for  suddenly,  with- 
out being  able  to  assign  any  cause  for  the 
change  in  my  feelings  all  my  former 
disinclination  to  her  proposal  vanished. 
Without  any  further  objection,  I  consent- 
ed to  accompany  her  young  friends  to 
Ilfracombe,  whither  they  were  going  for 
the  purpose  of  studying  the  zoophytes,  in 
which  pursuit  they  were  deeply  interested. 

In  place,  therefore,  of  returning  to  my 
self-chosen  nest,  I  went  forth,  and  continue 
up  to  this  day  a  pilgrim,  whose  only  home 
is  in  heaven. 


24  TELL  JESUS. 

It  was  a  dreary  and  fatiguing  journey, 
and  its  termination  offered  nothing  to 
compensate  for  much  that  I  had  given  up 
to  undertake  it.  I  felt  weary  and  lonely, 
as  every  living  soul  must  be,  apart  from 
the  changeless  peace  which  is  found  in 
Jesus  only. 

The  second  week  of  our  stay  had  closed, 
and  I  was  ardently  longing  for  the  time  of 
our  departure  ;  but  my  heavenly  Father 
had  ordained  it  all,  and  had  guided  me, 
though  I  knew  it  not.  It  was  at  this 
juncture  that  he  sent  to  my  side  the  wise 
and  tender  minister  of  good  tidings,  in 
the  wife  of  the  Christian  naturalist  of 
whom  I  was  hearing  so  much. 

As  soon  as  I  saw  the  face  of  Mrs.  Gosse, 
I  longed  to  know  her  better.  She  was  fair, 
and  appeared  more  youthful  than  her  years 
from  her  small  delicate  features,  and  the 
artless  childhke  smile  which  lighted  her 
countenance  when  animated.  I  have  seen 
it  literally  sparkling  with  joy,  when  unex- 


FIRST   ACQUAINTANCE.  2$ 

pectedly  brought  into  contact  with  those 
who  loved  her  Lord,  or  when  recognizing 
some  expression  of  his  ever  watchful  care. 

Whether  the  Lord  veiled  the  state  of 
my  spiritual  life  from  her,  I  know  not.  I 
listened  to  her  with  unmixed  pleasure, 
though  I  hardly  dare  aver  that  I  was  fed. 
But  I  marked  her  steps,  and  they  chimed 
sweet  music  ;  the  bells  proclaimed  "  Holi- 
ness unto  the  Lord."  There  was  much 
new  and  strange  to  me  ;  some  intermedi- 
ate tones  seemed  lacking  in  '  my  soul  for 
perfect  harmony  between  what  I  had  re- 
ceived and  that  which  I  beheld  in  her. 

Anticipations  of  a  home  undisturbed 
by  sin  or  sorrow,  where  I  could  forever 
behold  Jesus,  had  often  filled  my  heart 
with  gladness.  I  read  that  he  was  gone 
to  prepare  a  place  for  his  people,  and  had 
promised  to  come  again  and  receive  them 
to  himself  These  thoughts  brooding  in 
my  soul  became  more  tangible,  as  I  saw 
her  daily  rejoicing  in  the  expectation  of 


26  TELL  JESUS. 

the  return  of  the  Lord  Jesus,  with  the 
assurance  of  faith  bom  only  of  the  Spirit. 

But  how  could  I  rejoice  in  the  coming 
of  the  Lord,  when  I  was  not  at  all  sure 
that  he  was  coming  for  inef  I  felt,  for 
the  first  time,  the  power  of  the  life  of  a 
child  of  God,  walking  with  him  in  cheer- 
ful childlike  confidence  in  his  love,  I 
yearned  for  that  good  land  which  she 
possessed,  though  I  was  not  at  all  con- 
vinced that  /lef  blessed  inheritance  was  — 
could  be  —  for  one  so  unworthy  —  for  me, 
such  a  sinner ! 

I  had  never  seen  the  simplicity  of  faith 
which  ever  walks  in  heavenly  humility. 
Not  the  humility  of  ser\dle  fear,  which 
the  world  recognizes  in  sighs  and  groans 
over  the  old  Adam's  utter  corruption ; 
but  the  trustful  gaze  fixed  on  Jesus,  that 
says,  "  Christ  Jesus  came  into  the  world 
to  save  sinners,  of  whom  I  am  chief; 
therefore  my  hope  is  in  him.  He  is  my 
strength,  and  the   lifter  up  of  my  head." 


FIRST    ACQUAINTANCE.  2? 

Such  a  posture  of  soul  better  glorifies  the 
Lord  of  life  than  when  our  eyes  rise  no 
higher  than  self,  forgetting  that  we  were 
created  for  his  praise. 

I  so  feebly  apprehended  the  high- 
priestly  office  of  him  who  was  exalted  for 
the  remission  of  sins,  that  I  thought  I 
had  still  something  to  do,  and  that  per- 
haps for  years,  to  test  my  sincerity,  before 
I  could  live  with  Jesus  in  the  same  sweet 
familiar  intimacy  as  my  new  friend. 

She  was  a  wise  mother  in  Israel ;  she 
did  not  cavil  at  my  crude  opinions,  nor 
combat  my  errors.  She  did  not  argue 
points  of  difference,  which  would  have 
arrayed  my  dominant  pride  and  obstinacy 
against  her  ;  neither  did  she  appear  amaz- 
ed at  my  ignorance.  Her  aim  was  to 
show  Jesus  in  his  love  and  loveliness. 

The  love  of  God  in  Christ  beamed 
through  her  words  and  life  ;  like  sunshine 
melting  away  the  clouds  of  prejudice,  and 
dispelling  gradually  my  fleshly  dread  of 


28  TELL   JESUS. 

irreverence  In  taking  advantage,  with  the 
freedom  of  access  that  she  enjoyed,  of 
that  door  into  heaven,  which  the  precious 
blood-shedding  had  opened.  John  x.  7, 
9  ;  Heb.  x.  19-22. 

It  was  pre-eminently  Jesus  that  she 
preached  ;  his  beauty,  his  loving-kindness, 
his  tender  mercy !  And  though  that 
happy,  happy  day  had  not  then  arrived 
when  I  could  exclaim,  "  This  is  my  Belov- 
ed, and  this  is  my  friend ! "  yet,  by  the 
blessing  of  God,  I  count  her  insensible 
influence  among  the  many  cords  of  love 
that  won  my  weary,  roving  heart  to  find 
its  rest  in  him  alone. 

While  Mr.  Gosse  and  my  young  friends 
were  exploring,  with  the  ardor  of  natural- 
ists, the  treasures  of  the  deep  with  the 
drag-net,  or  rambling  over  the  rocks  of 
the  picturesque  beach,  I  was,  from  inabil- 
ity to  join  them,  generally  within  doors, 
or  sitting  on  the  shore  not  far  from  our 
lodgings. 


FIRST   ACQUAINTANCE.  2^ 

There  I  occasionally  met  Emily,  wlio^ 
like  a  good  householder,  brought  out  of 
her  treasure  things  new  and  old  from  the 
store  of  Christ's  fullness. 

Yet  all  this  time  she  had  a  mother's 
eye  upon  her  young  son,  whom  she  care- 
fully watched  in  his  amusements  and 
companions.  Many  a  lesson  might  nurses 
and  governesses  have  learned  from  her. 
In  clear  characters  might  be  read  on  all 
she  did  and  said,  "As  for  me  and  my 
house,  we  will  serve  the  Lord." 

Our  interviews  were  always  brief,  gen- 
erally interrupted,  and  not  unfrequently 
prevented  altogether.  I  remember  that 
this  caused  me  to  feel  irritated  and  disap- 
pointed, as  the  natural  willfulness  of  my 
character  desired  more  of  her  society 
than  the  Lord  saw  fit  to  accord  me. 

Besides  this,  I  was  selfish,  and  she  was 
unselfish  ;  I  longed  to  keep  her  all  to 
myself,  while  she  sought  only  to  be  about 
her    Father's    business.      She    loved    to 


30  TELL  JESUS, 

wander  among  the  groups  assembled  un- 
der the  rocks  or  among  the  bathers,  dis- 
tributing her  tracts,  and  dropping  a  word 
elsewhere  for  her  dear  Master  when 
opportunity  offered  ;  while  I  would  have 
chosen  her  to  sit  by  my  side. 

All  this  was  not  without  its  lesson. 
After  those  days  were  gone,  I  murmured 
against  myself  that  I  had  profited  so  little 
from  them.  Doubtless,  the  Lord's  set 
time  was  not  fully  come.  He  who  had 
found  me  in  a  desert  land,  and  in  the 
waste,  howling  wilderness,  was  leading 
me  about,  and  instructing  me,  and  — 
blessed  be  his  name !  —  keeping  me  as 
the  apple  of  his  eye. 

So,  day  by  day,  Emily  Gosse  went  on 
her  way,  sowing  beside  all  waters.  The 
joy  of  harvest-home  is  reserved  for  the 
great  ingathering.  For  myself,  it  was 
only  in  more  entire  seclusion  from  the 
outer  world,  and  in  deeper  affliction,  that 
T  learned  the  mystery  of  the  new  birth  in 


FIRST   ACQUAINTANCE.  3 1 

the  promise,  "  Because  I  live,  ye  shall  live 
also ; "  the  Lord  himself,  without  human 
instrumentality,  leading  me  into  the  truths 
which  delivered  me  out  of  bondage  into 
his  glorious  liberty.  Certain  it  is,  that 
when  the  King  had  brought  me  into  the 
full  secret  of  his  presence,  and  had  taught 
me  the  endearing  relationship  of  "  Father," 
my  happy  friend  was  resting  from  her 
labors. 

I  saw  Emily  working  for  Jesus  ;  I  did 
nothing ;  how  could  I  when  I  only  be- 
lieved at  distant  intervals  that  my  sins 
were  forgiven !  How  could  I  tell  of  the 
faithfulness  of  a  covenant  God,  when  I 
was  so  often  doubting  his  word,  and  dis- 
honoring him  by  unbelief  of  his  truth  ? 

And  yet  when  I  rejoiced  in  the  assur- 
ance that  the  Good  Shepherd  had  indeed 
snatched  me  from  the  pit,  I  wept  to  think 
I  had  never  won  a  soul  for  him  who  had 
done  so  much  for  me.     My  thought  was, 


32  TELL  JESUS. 

If  I  knew  him,  and  really  loved  him,  I 
could  work  for  him  ;  not  until  then. 

In  one  of  those  seasons  of  depression 
when  too  ill  to  quit  the  house,  these 
temptations  especially  assailed  me.  That 
day  I  listened  to  a  lesson  fron  the  lips  of 
my  new-found  friend,  which  I  have  ever 
since  been  learning  ;  that  the  subjection 
which  leads  us  to  accept  the  position  the 
wisdom  of  the  Lord  assigns  us,  is  our 
reasonable  service.  Long-suffering,  and 
meekness,  and  patience,  are  fruit,  though 
often  unacknowledged  by  any  but  him  ; 
fruit  accepted  for  Christ's  sake,  for  it  is 
the  growth  of  his  Spirit, 

Emily  had  a  peculiar  faculty  of  illustra- 
ting her  subject  in  conversation,  which 
was  very  attractive,  and  this  was  a  point  of 
sympathy  between  myself  and  her  ;  in  all 
else,  it  was  hardly  possible  to  find  a 
greater  contrast,  or  two  individuals  more 
dissimilar. 


FIRST   ACQUAINTANCE.  33 

Our  conversation  this  day  called  forth 
the  following  illustration : 

"  The  master  of  the  house  has  a  servant 
whom  he  has  appointed  to  sit  in  the  hall 
—  perhaps  alone  —  and  only  attend  to  his 
bell  when  it  rings.  This  man  may  not 
often  be  required  for  the  particular  service 
to  wh'ich  this  bell  will  summon  him, 
nevertheless  he  is  not  to  be  doing  his 
own  pleasure  in  the  intervals. 

"  Would  he  be  fulfilling  the  duty  for 
which  he  was  specially  placed  there,  if, 
when  he  saw  his  fellow-servants  engaged 
in  their  respective  callings,  running  hither 
and  thither,  he  joined  them,  and  so,  when 
the  bell  rung,  he  was  not  in  the  only 
chair  where  he  could  distinctly  hear  it ; 
and  had,  moreover,  placed  himself  in  a 
position  which  rendered  him  unfit  for  the 
peculiar  service  required  of  him  .-*  Nei- 
ther," she  added,  with  a  bright  smile, 
"  should  we  expect  the  servant  who  knew 
his  lord's  will  to  be  unhappy,  and  contin- 

2 


34  TELl,  JESUS.      . 

ually  running  up  stairs  and  knocking  impa- 
tiently at  his  master's  door,  to  know  what 
he  was  to  do  next.  The  master  had 
already  shown  him  what  he  was  to  do,  — 
to  wait  in  the  hall. 

"  So  now,  your  service  is  plain  enough  ; 
you  must  remember  '  Old  Betty.'  Once 
the  Lord  seemed  to  say  to  her,  '  Go  here, 
go  there  ;  do  thfs,  do  that.'  '  And  now,' 
the  old  woman  said,  '  He  seems  to  say  to 
me,  Betty,  lie  still  and  cough.'  " 

There  was  nothing  of  the  teacher  in 
Emily,  though  she  was  deeply  taught  of 
God.  Blessing  seemed  to  flow  out  from 
her  life,  according  to  the  promise,  in  riv- 
ers of  living  water.  John  vii.  38.  Who 
shall  follow  the  track  of  the  little  seed 
that  is  carried  on  the  wings  of  the  wind  .-• 
God  careth  for  it ;  it  shall  be  found  after 
many  day.s. 

Whether  her  attention  was  directed  to  a 
child,  or  to  a  babe  in  Christ,  or  to  a  Bible 
student   in   the  examination  of  a  Greek 


FIRST   ACQUAINTANCE.  35 

word,  there  was  no  assumption  of  pedantr}' 
or  superior  knowledge,  which  is  so  often 
the  loop-hole  for  Satan  to  shoot  at  the 
proud  in  heart,  even  in  holy  teaching ; 
and  I  feel  assured  that  this  must  have 
arisen  from  her  knowledge  of  her  own 
heart,  and  her  trust  in  the  strength  ol 
Him  to  whom  all  power  in  heaven  and 
earth  is  given. 

All  God's  family  bear  some  resem- 
blance to  their  Father,  however  faint, 
which  proclaims  their  heavenly  origin  to 
those  that  know  him.  The  germ  of  all 
the  fruit  of  the  Holy  Spirit  is  contained 
in  the  new  man  in  Christ  Jesus.  Per- 
haps some  feature  is  more  developed 
externally,  by  reason  of  special  culture  of 
the  heavenly  Husbandman,  through  specia. 
trials  ;  but  other  buds  of  promise  are 
there,  opening  to  his  eye  alone,  unrecog- 
nized by  others.  Many  a  nighl  and  morn- 
'ng,  many  a  winter  anjd  summer,  may  go 


36  TELL  JESUS. 

by  before  they  put  forth  their  fragrance, 
but  they  are  there. 

Dormant  they  lie,  they  are  not  dead; 

Sown  for  Immanuel's  land, 
They'll  blooia  where  heavenly  foun tarns  flow. 

Beneath  his  fostering  hand. 

A  little  while  we  suflfer  here, 

A  little  while  we  weep  ; 
A  little  while  we  dare  the  fight. 

And  holy  watch  we  keep. 

And  then  —  no  more  a  little  while 

To  sigh  and  struggle  thus ; 
But  live  forever,  conquerors. 

With  Him  who  loveth  us. 

^  ^  '1^  *>  'P  ^  W 

Love  sheds  its  light  over  all,  and  seems 
to  energize  the  branch  which  draws  from 
the  root,  and  gives  forth  to  others.  For 
love  shed  abroad  in  the  heart  by  the  Holy 
Ghost  is  a  fountain  of  blessing  wherever 
it  flows.  It  shone  in  Emily  Gosse's  daily 
life. 

I  have  seen  her  cheek  flush,  and  her 


FIRST   ACQUAINTANCE  3/ 

ready  sympathy  fill  her  eyes  with  tears,  at 
wrong  committed  agahist  another  ;  I  never 
saw  her  ruflfled  with  any  one,  if  the  wrong 
were  directed  against  herself  personally. 

It  was  long  before  I  recognized  the  hand 
of  man  as  the  sword  of  the  Lord  —  Isa. 
liv.  1 6,  —  but  when  I  had  done  so,  it  was 
a  well  of  peace  to  my  heart.  Before  this, 
I  remember  that  in  bitterness  of  spirit  I 
one  day  recounted  some  mortifying  provo- 
cation that  I  had  received  from  a  nomina. 
Christian  :  it  touched  her  heart  far  other- 
wise than  it  had  done  mine.  I  seem  to 
feel  the  loving  pressure  of  her  hand  upon 
my  shoulder  now,  as  she  looked  tenderly 
in  my  face  through  the  tears  that  glistened 
for  what  I  had  suffered,  as  she  said,  "  Oh, 
how  much  pride  there  must  be  to  subdue 
in  your  heart,  for  the  dear  Lord  to  let  you 
be  treated  thus  !  " 

Now  I  have  learned  to  recognize  the 
hand  of  the  Potter ;  and  on  looking  back 
on  those  sorrowful  days,  I  have  traced  the 


38  TELL  JESUS. 

molding  skill,  breaking  away  the  clay 
that  encumbers  the  vessel  of  mercy  ;  and. 
though  now  he  has  other  instruments 
for  fashioning  it,  I  love  to  trace  it  still ; 
and  soon,  in  the  light  of  his  unclouded 
presence,  what  we  know  not  now,  we  shall 
know  hereafter.  I  was  more  reserved 
with  her  than  with  any  one  before  or  since 
and  yet  the  ministry  I  received  was  exact- 
ly suited  for  what  I  should  afterwards  need 
in  more  severe  trial. 

On  one  occasion  I  refused  to  tell  her 
what  had  saddened  me,  only  because  I 
thought  the  cause  would  appear  trifling  to 
her.  Like  her  blessed  Master,  she  found 
nothing  beneath  her  sympathy  that  could 
cause  one  throb  of  pain. 

She  would  not  quit  me  until  she  had 
soothed  me,  and  this  ended,  of  course,  in 
my  telling  her  all.  She  listened  with  as 
much  interest  as  if  she  had  to  unravel 
some  deep  mystery.  She  sat  for  a  few 
minutes  in  silence,  and  then  asked,  with 


FIRST    ACQUAINTANCE.  39 

the  simplicity  that  characterized  her, "  Did 
yon  tell  yesus?"  Perhaps  I  looked  sur- 
prised ;  I  am  sure  I  felt  so :  yet  to  her 
the  oiily  surprise  would  be,  that  anything 
could  call  forth  our  complaints  to  another 
which  had  not  first  been  told  to  Jesus. 

She  continued,  "  If  I  want  a  pin,  and  do 
not  know  where  to  find  one,  I  do  not  lose 
any  time  in  seeking  for  it.  I  ask  him  to 
guide  me  to  one,  and  he  does  so.  Tell 
me,  what  did  John's  disciples  do  in  their 
grief  at  the  loss  of  their  master .-' " 

I  thought  only  of  his  burial,  and  she 
went  on,  "They  took  up  the  body  and 
buried  it,  and  went  and  told  J^esiis." 

That  word  was  a  shaft  followed  by  God's 
faithful  promise :  "  For  as  the  rain  cometh 
down,  and  the  snow  from  heaven,  and  re- 
turneth  not  thither,  but  watereth  the  earth, 
and  maketh  it  bring' forth  and  bud,  that  it 
may  give  seed  to  the  sower  and  bread  to 
the  cater  ;  so  shall  my  word  be  that  goeth 
forth  out  of  my  mouth  :  it    shall   not  re- 


40  TELL  JESUS. 

turn  unto  me  void,  but  it  shall  accomplish 
that  which  I  please,  and  it  shall  prosper  in 
the  thing  whereto  I  sent  it."     Isa.  Iv.  lO.  ii. 

The  rod  laid  up  within  the  ark  for  me 
that  day  will  be  seen  through  eternal  ages  ; 
it  budded,  and  in  time  blossomed.  Many 
a  hope  have  I  buried,  over  many  a  blight- 
ed one  have  I  wept ;  but  the  budding  rod 
bore  fruit  at  last.  Blessed  be  the  cove- 
nant-keeping God  !  The  message  of  my 
Father's  love  that  Emily  brought  me  has 
never  since  that  hour  been  silent.  Dead 
lips  speak  no  more  ;  their  echo  dies  not, 
but  rolls  through  eternity  —  "  Tell  Jesus." 

In  the  cloud  I  have  been  called  to  enter, 
I  have  heard  no  man,  but  Jesus  only. 
This  is  more  than  enough  for  the  loneliest 
and  dreariest  path  ! 

I  was  by  this  time  a  little  prepared, 
when  I  paid  her  a  visit,  and  admired  the 
pleasant  apartments  which  they  occupied 
overlooking  the  sea,  to  hear  her  reply  : 

"Yes  !   it  was  very  kind  of  the  Lord  : 


FIRST  ACQUAINTANCK  4I 

we  had  asked  him  to  guide  us  to  suitable 
rooms,  both  for  airy  lodgings,  for  health's 
sake,  and  also  for  other  advantages,"  which 
she  proceeded  to  show  me. 

Her  cheerful  acquiescence,  at  the  same 
time,  in  what  was  denied  her,  was  as 
striking  as  her  happy  acknowledgment  of 
what  appeared  to  be  the  most  trifling 
thing  to  others'  eyes. 

This  was  the  first  intimation  I  received 
of  the  Good  Shepherd  going  before  his 
.<5heep,  in  the  minute  care  for  their  change 
of  habitation,  and  of  the  sheep  knowing 
his  voice,  and  following  him  in  peaceful 
security.     John  x.  4. 

He  has  not  called  us  to  go  forth  in  our 
own  strength,  but  in  our  weakness,  that 
his  strength  may  be  perfected  in  it. 

In  committing  ourselves  to  him  for  a 
"  prosperous  journey,"  we  may  at  first  feel 
amazed  at  the  result ;  but  if  taken  in  sim- 
ple reliance  on  him  who  can  best  choose 
our  inheritance  for  us,  we  shall  in  the  end 


42  TELL  JESUS. 

see  his  wisdom  and  love.  If  we  are  seek- 
ing only  to  follow  him,  he  will  not  let  us 
wander  out  of  the  way  ;  if  we  are  seeking 
something  not  really  needful,  and  the  in- 
dulgence of  our  own  will  and  pleasure,  he 
may  indeed  give  us  the  desire  of  our 
heart,  and  send  leanness  into  our  soul.  If 
the  Good  Shepherd  grants  us  his  reviving 
presence, .  we  may  well  leave  all  the  rest 
to  him,  assured  that  if  he  has  withheld 
anything  that  appeared  to  us  "  good,"  it 
has  only  been  to  give  us  something  better. 


CHAPTER    II. 

THE   LIFE  OF  FAITH. 
"All  things  are  yours." —  i  Cor.  iii.  2i. 

OON  after  these  days  I  had  a  re- 
markable dream  ;  if  indeed  I  can 
term  that  a  dream  which  ap- 
peared to  me  as  a  panorama  of  glorious 
significance,  and  in  which  I  had  no  part 
but  that  of  a  spectator. 

I  beheld  a  chamber,  dark  with  clouds. 
In  the  center  stood  Emily.  Angel  hands 
from  out  the  murky  atmosphere  clothed 
her  in  a  heavy  purple  robe,  the  weight  of 
which  bent  her  body,  pale  and  emaciated., 
almost  to  the  earth.  She  walked  as  if  in 
pain  and  weariness  ;  but  in  their  hands 
they  bore  her  up,  lest  she  should  dash  her 
foot  against  a  stone. 

43 


44  TELL  JESUS. 

The  darkness  passed,  and  her  leet  were 
set  in  that  "  large  room,"  that  lacketh  nei- 
ther light  nor  freedom  ;  it  was  open  to  the 
sky.  Beneath  the  angels'  ministering 
hands  the  heavy  robe  at  every  step  gradu- 
ally disappeared,  and  more  and  more  visi- 
bly shone  another  robe,  of  surpassing 
beauty,  in  which  they  clothed  her.  She 
did  nothing  towards  making  herself  ready  ; 
all  was  done  for  her.  Her  attitude  was 
that  of  a  happy,  innocent,  obedient  child^ 
under  the  tender  care  of  a  mother  who 
arrays  her  in  her  festal  garments. 

How  can  I  describe  things  unseen  by 
others,  but  by  objects  visible  to  the  out- 
ward eye  .■'  I  know  nothing  to  compare 
to  that  robe,  white  as  the  driven  snow. 
Art  and  nature  can  give  but  a  faint  idea  of 
its  beauty !  Its  dazzling  and  transparent 
folds  were  fairer  than  the  most  delicate 
lawn,  and  glistened  like  the  hoar  frost  in 
its  silver  brightness. 

As  the  robe  descended  to  her  feet,  hex 


THE   LIFE   OF    FAITH.  45 

countenance  lost  all  trace  of  tirne^  and 
pain,  and  weariness  ;  —  it  was  renewed, 
and  beamed  with  youth,  and  health,  and 
comeliness.  It  was  still  Emily  Gosse, 
growing  fairer  at  every  step,  as,  conducted 
by  heavenly  guides,  she  neared  a  two- 
leaved  door,  which,  slightly  ajar,  permit- 
ted a  few  bright,  slanting  rays  of  golden 
light  to  fall  upon  the  step. 

The  sight  of  her  child  appeared  to  ar- 
rest the  happy  pilgrim.  She  paused.  Im- 
mediately the  angelic  hands  were  with- 
drawn into  the  clouds,  —  no  longer  the 
dark,  heavy  clouds  of  the  smaller  chamber, 
but  the  summer  clouds  of  the  "large 
room."  A  basket  of  fruit  was  near  her. 
She  seemed  to  search  amongst  it  for  the 
ripest,  and  chose  what  appeared  to  me  then 
a  Maltese  or  blood  orange  :  for  it  was  di- 
t^ided  down  the  center,  and  appeared  of  a 
bright  crimson  color,  which  may  have 
represented  a  pomegranate. 

When  the  child  had  received  the  fruit, 


46  TELL    JESUS. 

Emily  appeared  satisfied,  and  her  ange 
attendants  resumed  their  office  of  leading 
her  onwards.  Every  movement  exactly 
resembled  that  of  a  blind  person,  commit- 
ting herself  unreservedly  to  the  safe  con- 
duct of  a  Friend  who  knew  the  way,  and 
guided  every  step,  to  the  home  where  she 
was  a  welcome  guest. 

"As  when  some  helpless  wanderer. 

Alone  in  an  unknown  land, 
Tells  the  guide  his  destined  place  of  rest, 

And  leaves  all  else  in  his  hand; 
'Tis  home,  tis  home  that  we  wish  to  reach; 

He  who  guides  us  may  choose  the  way; 
Little  we  heed  what  path  we  take, 

If  nearer  home  each  day." 

The  chamber  was  crossed  ;  she  stood 
npon  the  step  of  the  entrance,  and  the 
door  gradually  opened.  Within,  a  street 
was  visible,  clear  as  crystal,  bright  with 
golden  rays  surpassing  sunlight.  Gn  the 
side  revealed  to  my  sight  were  open  gal- 
leries  of    most    delicate    tracery ;    these 


THE    LIFE    OF    FAITH.  47 

were  filled  with  angelic  forms  bent  in  ex- 
pectation toward  the  door  ;  thousands  of 
glorious  beings  thronged  to  welcome  the 
ew  comer ;    every  head  was  turned  to- 

ards  the  entrance. 

The  unutterable  peace  of  the  pilgrim's 
ace  as  she  proceeded  I  have  never  for- 
gotten, nor  the  rest  which  her  closed 
eyes  expressed.  I  have  often  thought  it 
intimated  that  this  vision  of  her  spirit 
beauty,  given  me  to  behold,  was  as  yet 
hidden  from  her  eyes.  Her  foot  was  on 
the  threshold,  and  then  all  faded  from  my 
sight. 

That  wondrous  scene  lives  in  my  mem- 
ory, as  if  photographed  on  my  mind's  eye ; 
but  how  describe  it .-'  I  vainly  seek  for 
words  to  paint  its  beauty  to  others. 

Often  it  was  on  my  IFps  to  tell  Emily 
the  "  dream  that  I  had  dreamed."  She 
was  essentially  a  practical  person,  and  1 
dreaded   thatwshe  would  not  receive  the 


48  TELl.   J  Kb  US. 

sweet,  and  to  me  solemn,  vision,  and  I 
held  my  peace. 

However,  doubtless  it  was  sent  to  her 
through  me  ;  for  I  felt  a  shadow  and  op- 
pression on  my  soul  until  I  had  told  her. 

One  morning,  most  unexpectedly,  I  was 
led  to  describe  it  to  her.  To  my  surprise, 
she  listened  in  rapt  attention  ;  and  after  a 
few  days  she  requested  me  to  repeat  my 
golden  dream. 

She  remarked,  "  I  have  thought  only  of 
the  Lord's  coming ;  not  of  walking 
through  the  Valley  of  the  Shadow  of 
Death.  Perhaps  he  will  send  for  me,  after 
all." 

But  she  was  well,  and  strong,  and 
bright,  and  prepared  to  meet  him  for 
whom  she  watched.  She  walked  with  her 
garments  girded  and  her  light  burning ; 
she  was,  indeed,  one  who  watched  for  her 
Lord.  I 

Soon  after  this,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Gosse  left 
for  London,  and  I  heard  no  more  of  her 


THE    LIFE    OF    FAITH.  49 

until  the  following  spring,  when  I  received 
a  note  reminding  me  of  my  promise  to 
visit  her  ;  and  as  I  was  then  at  a  conven- 
ient distance  from  London,  she  invited 
me  to  spend  two  days  with  her  in  the  fol- 
lowing week.     I  did  so. 

I  had  scarcely  arrived,  when,  as  was 
often  the  case,  she  was  sent  for  on  some 
errand  of  mercy,  and,  as  she  said,  "  to 
keep  me  company  until  her  return,"  she 
placed  in  my  hands  "A  Narrative  of  the 
Lord's  Dealings  with  George  Miiller,"  a 
work  of  which  I  had  never  before  heard. 

If  Emily  Gosse's  faith  in  the  daily 
watchful  care  of  her  Almighty  Friend 
had  startled  me,  she  had  now  left  me  food 
for  meditation,  wonder,  admiration  and 
love. 

God  is  good !  I  never  for  a  moment 
doubted  this  reality ;  and  I  read  on,  and 
on,  until  I  came  to  a  passage  in  which  Mr. 
Miiller  narrates  how  he  once  had  need 
of  an  arm-chair  in  his  bedroom,  when  an 
4 


50  TELL  JESUS. 

invalid  on  a  visit  to  a  friend,  and  how  the 
Lord  tenderly  took  heed  of  the  want,  so 
that  when  he  next  entered  his  bed-cham- 
ber he  found  it  there. 

Of  the  sums  this  man  of  God  has  won 
from  heaven's  treasury,  for  the  support  of 
thousands  of  orphans,  for  the  extension  of 
the  building,  for  the  circulation  of  the 
Scriptures,  and  the  help  of  missionary 
laborers,  I  have  read  and  marveled.  But 
when  this  simple  fact  of  the  care  of  his 
heavenly  Father  was  recorded,  it  had 
another  mission.  It  was  just  fitted  for  my 
grasp  ;  the  tiny  thread  of  faith  which  just 
such  a  babe  could  hold.  It  drew  me  on 
until  I  realized,  "This  God  is  my  God 
forever  and  ever ;  he  shall  be  my  guide 
even  unto  death  ! " 

*  *  *  I  longed  for  the  book.  I  did 
not  ask  for  the  loan  of  it ;  I  was  too  poor 
to  purchase  it.  The  Lord's  way  was  the 
best.  I  had  learned  experimentally  some- 
thing of  the  faith  that  worketh  by  love, 


THE    1.IFE    OF    FAITH.  5 1 

before  I  again  turned  the  pages,  over  which 
I  hung  that  afternoon  in  dcHght.  I  felt 
more  and  more  the  contrast  of  this  faith, 
that  was  constantly  honoring  the  Lord  by 
believing  his  word,  and  confiding  in  his 
love,  to  that  of  a  doubting  spirit  born  of 
an  evil  heart  of  unbelief;  and  I  thirsted 
for  the  good  land  beyond  Jordan.  It  also 
led  me  to  remark  how  God  blesses  the 
household  where  his  ark  rests,  and  that  it 
is  impossible  to  dwell  with  those  who  walk 
with  a  living  God,  and  not  partake  of  their 
blessings. 

That  night  for  me  was  sleepless.  It 
was  the  Lord's  dear  hand  in  all,  and  but 
for  it  I  should  have  failed  to  read  another 
trait  of  himself  in  my  gentle  hostess. 

The  morning  had  hardly  broken,  when 
she  quietly  opened  my  door,  and  brought 
to  my  side  the  breakfast  which  her 
thoughtful  care  had  provided.  She  had 
lighted  the  fire  in  her  husband's  study  to 
avoid  disturbing   the  servants ;  she   had 


52  TELL  JESUS. 

heard  my  restlessness,  and  was  ever  on 
the  watch  to  serve. 

When  I  told  her  how  grieved  I  was  that 
she  should  rise  to  do  this,  her  reply  was 
like  herself : 

"  Supposing  yesterday  Jesus  had  rested 
in  your  lodgings  on  his  way  to  Jerusalem, 
weary  with  his  journey,  and  you  knew  he 
had  been  watching  all  night,  should  you 
have  thought  it  any  hardship  to  rise  an 
hour  or  two  earlier  than  usual  to  give  him 
refreshment .''  Jesus  could  not  come  him- 
self ;  he  sent  you,  and  he  says  to  me,  '  In- 
asmuch as  you  have  done  it  unto  her,  you 
have  done  it  unto  me.'  " 

Thus  we  feel  the  need  of  having  a  poor 
and  afflicted  people  among  us,  that  there 
may  be  a  field  for  the  ministration  of  the 
disciples  of  Jesus  to  the  Man  of  Sorrows 
in  the  person  of  his  suffering  members. 
Numberless  are  the  occasions  it  affords  of 
exhibiting  his  tender  love  toward  those 
that   serve,  as  well   as   to   them  that  are 


THE   LIFE    OF   FAITH.  53 

served.  Sitting  often  at  his  feet,  we  shall 
learn  the  secret  of  his  will,  and  hearing 
his  voice,  we  shall  learn  the  way  to  do  it, 
by  which  we  shall  most  resemble  him  in 
the  doing. 

The  little  loving  charities  of  daily  life 
preach  loudly  for  Him  who  went  about 
doing  good.  The  testimony  that  it  is 
for  Jesus  will  make  the  even  tenor  of 
the  walk  glorify  him  ;  whereas,  if  kind- 
ness and  forbearance  be  shown  only  to 
please  ourselves,  or  for  the  gratific  ation  of 
another,  they  will  be  fitful,  and  witness 
nothing  of  the  living  faith  to  proclaim 
Him  whose  we  are  and  whom  we  sftrve. 

Of  all  the  blessings  that  gladden  our 
earthly  pilgrimage,  sympathy  is  the  sweet- 
est ;  of  all  the  gifts  of  God,  a  friend  is  the 
chief  The  man  of  science  has  his  asso- 
ciate ;  the  man  of  crime  his  accomplice  ; 
the  man  of  pleasure  his  companion  ;  and 
in  all  these  there  is  sympathy,  but  not 
friendship.     That  comprehends  an  end'^r. 


54  TELL  JESUS. 

ing  affection  resting  on  sympathy  ;  it  can- 
not endure,  if  built  on  the  things  that  are 
passing  away,  or  that  shall  be  burned  up. 

A  friend  in  Jesus  is  a  gift,  but  Jesus, 
the  Friend,  is  the  priceless  Friend. 

And  can  such  things  be .-'  Yes.  The 
Man  of  Sorrows  is  the  brother  born  for 
adversity,  as  every  day's  need  requires. 
Fellowship  with  him  can  cast  a  light  and 
glory  over  life's  common  things.  If  we 
think  that  brotherhood  with  Jesus  com- 
prehends only  a  fellowship  in  sorrow  and 
difficulty,  the  privilege  is  immeasurably 
great  ;  but  this  is  limiting  his  friendship, 
or  placing  him  in  the  position  of  patron 
and  benefactor,  rather  than  of  brother 
and  friend. 

When  we  live  in  close  sympathy  with 
another,  we  receive  and  impart  every  mo- 
ment. Take  a  day  passed  with  a  friend, 
unrecorded  by  any  remarkable  event  ;  such 
a  day  as  an  uninterested  observer  might 
pronounce  a  very  commonplace  one.     It 


THE   LIFE    OF    FAITH.  55 

has  not  been  commonplace  to  you.  The 
glance  comprehended  without  a  word 
spoken  ;  the  smile  that  has  recognized 
your  thought ;  the  trifling  need  that  has 
made  a  way  for  a  gift  valueless  to  any  one 
but  you,  and  precious  to  you  as  a  memento 
of  the  hand  that  gave,  and  the  circumstance 
that  drew  it  forth  ;  —  all  these  footprints 
of  time  leave  the  day,  so  uneventful  to 
others,  full  of  sweet  memories  to  loving 
hearts. 

Why  deal  with  your  heavenly  Friend 
with  more  strangeness  and  less  confidence 
than  with  an  earthly  friend,  and  desire  his 
help  and  sympathy  only  in  seasons  of  ex- 
tremity "i  Yet  is  he  found  of  them  that 
call  upon  him  only  in  the  hour  of  need ; 
he  cannot  deny  himself.  "  In  their  afflic- 
tion they  will  seek  me  early."  But  why 
not  accept  that  companionship  which 
throws  a  light  over  the  minute  working  of 
his  providence,  and  gives  a  voice  to  the 


56  TELL  JESUS. 

interpreters  of  his  love,  hour  by  hour, 
moment  by  moment  ? 

It  is  the  carnal  or  the  spiritual  man 
which  objects,  that  there  are  numberless 
things  and  circumstances  too  insignificant 
to  bring  before  the  God  of  the  whole 
earth.  Does  the  Word  of  God  state  them  ? 
Or,  who  is  so  wise  as  to  declare  what  is 
really  great  or  small  in  the  sight  of  omnip- 
otence ?  Shall  we  then  say,  "  I  will  trust 
my  soul  to  the  God  of  my  mercies,  but 
not  my  mercies  themselves  ;  and'in  some 
extremity  call  on  him  for  deliverance,  but 
in  the  burden  of  daily  trials  dishonor  him 
by  distrusting  his  care,  and  doubting  his 
love  ? 

Who  shall  pronounce  what  has  an  influ- 
ence on  the  spiritual  life,  and  what  has 
not  ?  The  minute  grain  of  sand  that  ob- 
scures the  sight  may  ultimately  destroy  it. 
The  thorn  in  the  traveler's  foot,  a  key  lost 
or  mislaid,  and  meaner  things  than  any  I 
have  enumerated,  may  cast  shadows  on 


THE    LIFE    OF    FAITH.  5/ 

the  strongest  mind,  and  change  the  cur- 
rent of  a  hfe  ;  while  such  despised  things 
have  been  among  the  golden  links  that 
draw  the  soul  nearer,  to  realize  a  living 
God. 

Will  you  call  it  "  bondage  "  to  cast  all 
upon  the  sympathizing  heart  of  the  Man 
Christ  Jesus .''  Oh  !  trembling  hearts, 
perplexed  and  weary,  it  is  no  fable — it  is 
the  glorious  liberty  of  the  children  of  God, 
to  "  trust  in  him  at  all  times." 

He  does  not  bid  you  seek  him  in  un- 
approachable glory  ;  he  comes  to^you  as 
one  of  your  brethren.  In  all  things  he 
was  tempted  even  as  you  are,  yet  without 
sin  ;  he  once  hungered  and  thirsted,  he 
was  weary,  lonely,  misunderstood.  You 
have  no  want  or  woe  that  he  has  not 
tasted  ;  you  have  no  joy  which  you  could 
pour  into  that  heart  of  love  to  which  it 
would  not  respond. 

I  write  to  you  who  know  him  and  love 
him,  and  yet  live  at  such  an  immeasurable 


58  TELL  JESUS. 

distance  from  him,  that  you  are  uttering 
your  complaints  of  your  coldness  and 
unhappiness  in  the  ears  of  others,  "  phy- 
sicians of  no  value,"  who  cannot  fathom 
your  wound  or  heal  your  disease.  Why 
wait  till  the  waters  are  troubled  .-*  Tell 
Jesus. 

An  early  diary  of  Emily's,  lent  me  by 
her  husband  on,  this  occasion,  consists 
principally  of  notes  to  assist  her  memory, 
but  otherwise  it  is  too  obscure  to  enable, 
me  to  trace  much  that  would  be  interest- 
ing in  the  growth  and  development  of 
the  divine  life  in  her  soul.  Brief  as  is 
the  entry,  which  bears  the  date  1835,  it  is 
strongly  marked  by  the  single-mindedness 
of  one  who  even  then  walked,  as  she  ever 
afterwards  did,  with  an  exercised  con- 
science, though  ever  fully  realizing  the 
finished  work  of  Jesus,  and  her  accept- 
ance in  him  ;  from  v.'hich  we  glean  the 
desires  of  her  heart  toward  a  clearer 
light  and  more  devoted  walk.     To  those 


THE    LIFE    OF    FAITH.  59 

who  had  the  privilege  of  knowing  her,  it 
very  imperfectly  shadows  the  work  of 
grace  that  was  developed  in  the  noon  of 
her  Hfe. 

She  complains  of  the  plague  of  her 
own  heart,  like  those  who  know  "  their 
own  sore  and  their  own  grief ; "  of  her  un- 
belief, selfishness,  and  wandering  in  pray- 
er ;  her  bitterness  of  speaking  of  the 
faults  of  others. 

The  Hearer  and  Answerer  of  prayer  — 
more  willing  to  glorify  himself  in  his  ser- 
vant than  any  can  be  to  glorify  him  — 
indeed  granted  her  abundantly  that  which 
she  had  requested.  Great  is  the  encour- 
agement to  the  children  of  light  to  walk 
in  the  light  which  reveals  their  needs, 
when  we  see  how  graciously  hers  were 
met,  and  how  brightly  shone  those  graces 
in  her  after  experience,  the  lack  of  which 
she  here  laments. 

If  our  desires  after  spiritual  blessings 
seem  tardy  in  their  fulfillment,  we  are  not 


60  TELL  JESUS. 

therefore  to  suppose  that  they  are  disre- 
garded. Invisible  is  the  process  by  which 
we  receive  them.  They  are  not  to  be 
acquired  and  handled  as  are  temporal 
gifts  ;  these  we  may  obtain  immediately, 
and  rejoicingly  show  to  our  neighbor,  that 
he  may  rejoice  with  us.  Neither  do  they 
resemble  the  sudden  life  in  a  soul  given 
to  our  prayers.  They  are  deeper  and 
more  hidden,  as  the  life  hid  with  Christ 
in  ♦God,  and  only  when  the  tempest 
has  swept  over  us,  or  the  daily  furnace 
has  been  entered,  where  none  walked 
with  us  but  the  Son  of  God,  have  we  real- 
ized that  grace  had  really  been  granted 
us  according  to  our  prayers.  Its  recep- 
tion must  be  the  work  of  faith,  —  that  of 
other  gifts,  more  or  less  of  sense. 

Nothing  is  so  dishonoring  to  God  as 
unbelief  Even  supposing  that  our  prayer 
is  not  answered  so  that  we  can  recognize 
it  hei'e,  yet  we  have  honored  him  by  ask- 


THE   LIFE   OF   FAITH.  6 1 

ing  for  that  which  he  alone  can   bestow  ; 
and  them  that  honor  him,  he  will  honor. 

Hinder  not  the  holy  life-giving  Spirit. 
It  is  written,  "  If  ye  abide  in  me,  and  my 
words  abide  in  you,  ye  shall  ask  what  ye 
will,  and  it  shall  be  done  unto  you."  And 
what  does  the  longing  soul  desire,  but 
conformity  to  Him  without  whom  it  can  do 
nothing  ?  We  shall  be  satisfied  when  we 
awake  with  his  likeness. 


^^^^■&^ 


CHAPTER    III. 

PREMONITIONS. 

'And  God  granted  him  that  which  he  requested." 

I  Cheon.  iv.  lo. 


N  January,  1856,  Emily  wrote  to 
tell  me  that  she  had  asked  the 
Lord  for  a  "  Jubilee  Year,"  and 
that  already  the  answers  were  returning 
in  blessings,  through  her  tracts,  and  the 
conversion  of  two  young  womcvi,  in  one 
of  whom  I  was  much  interested.  She  had 
also  some  evidence  in  the  soul  of  her  little 
son,  giving  her  reason  to  believe  that  he 
was  indeed  a  child  of  God, 

Her  own  health  was  good,  her  hus- 
band's better,  and  many  mercies  v-ere 
numbered  up. 

In  her  private    diary  was  foand,  aftei 

6a 


PREMONITIONS.  6^ 

her  decease,  the  following  entry,  made  on 
her  birthday  preceding : 

"  Lord,  forgive  the  sins  of  the  past,  and 
help  me  to  be  faithful  in  future.  May  this 
be  a  year  of  much  blessing,  a  year  of 
jubilee !  May  I  be  kept  lowly,  trusting 
loving !  May  I  have  more  blessing  than 
in  all  former  years  combined  !  May  I  be 
happier  as  a  wife,  mother,  sister,  writer, 
mistress,  friend  !  "  * 

And  the  Lord  heard,  and  granted  her 
that  which  she  requested. 

Merciful  is  the  veil  which  conceals  in 
what  form  our  petition  shall  be  granted  ; 
but  we  know  that  the  hand  of  love,  once 
pierced  for  us,  holdeth  our  souls  in  life, 
and  sufifereth  not  our  feet  to  be  moved  ; 
although  we  find  our  prayers  return  to  us 
in  far  other  forms  than  we  should  have 
had  courage  to  desire. 

*  This,  and  most  of  tlie  following  particulars,  ar";  extracted 
from  "  A  Memorial  of  the  Last  Days  of  Emily  Gosse,"  \y  h^ 
husband. 


64  TELL  JESUS. 

"Almost  immediately,"  says  her  hus- 
band, "  after  the  supplications  above  men- 
tioned were  recorded  on  high,  the  gracious 
answer  began  to  be  given.  At  first  it 
came  only  in  joy.  The  first-firuit  was  a 
very  blessed  revival  of  my  own  soul  through 
some  words  which  she  spoke  to  me.  And 
then  there  followed  what  she  had  reason  to 
judge  the  sound  conversion  to  God  of  three 
young  persons  within  a  few  weeks,  by  the 
instrumentality  of  her  conversations  with 
them.  Others  were  impressed,  and  ap- 
peared convinced  of  their  sinful  state. 
Moreover,  before  the  year  was  completed, 
at  least  two  instances  were  brought  to  her 
knowledge  of  gospel  tracts  having  been 
blessed  to  the  decided  conversion  of  souls. 
And  the  grace  of  the  Lord  was  displayed 
to  her  also,  in  causing  these  testimonies 
to  the  blood  of  Christ,  the  fruits  of  her 
pen,  to  be  spread  very  widely,  even  to  the 
most  distant  parts  of  the  globe,  the  result 
of  which  will  be  fully  known  when  the 


PREMONITIONS.  6$ 

harvest  of  this  sowing-time  shall  be  gath- 
ered in.  ^ 

"  During  the  twelvemonth  between  No- 
vember 1855,  and  November  1856,  seven- 
teen of  her  gospel  tracts  were  published 
by  the  Weekly  Tract  Society,  in  addition 
to  fourteen  of  hers  already  in  their  cata- 
logue ;  and  five  more  were  printed  between 
the  latter  date  and  her  death,  which  have 
been  published  posthumously.  This  was 
besides  many  papers  in  various  religious 
periodicals. 

"  But  the  year  of  blessing,  thus  auspic- 
iously begun,  had  scarcely  half  passed 
away  before  there  appeared  the  messenger 
commissioned  to  take  down  her  tabernacle, 
and  consummate  her  joy,  by  removing  her 
to  the  presence  of  her  Lord. 

"  Hitherto,  we  had  known  nothing  but 
ease  and  happiness  in  the  seven  years  of 
our  married  life,  and  it  was  not  unfrequently 
remarked  by  us  to  each  other,  that  the 
common  lot,  the  badge  of  discipleship. 
5 


66  TELL  JESUS. 

seemed  to  be  unknown  to  us.  My  beloved 
wife  very  frequently  observed  to  me,  and 
that  especially  during  the  year  or  two  thai 
preceded  her  mortal  disease,  '  How  ver^ 
happy  we  are  !      Surely  this  cannot  last.' 

"  It  was  soon  to  end.  It  is  not  for  the 
eternal  bliss  of  God's  children  that  their 
nest — Job  xxix.  i8  —  should  be  undisturb- 
ed, and,  therefore,  he  pulls  it  to  pieces  and 
says,  '  Set  your  affection  on  things  above.' 
He  cares  for  our  eternal  happiness,  and 
makes  our  temporal  joy  give  place  to  the 
eternal.     Even  so,  Father." 

Months  elapsed  ;  we  did  not  meet.  I 
seldom  heard  from  her ;  she  was  not  one 
to  write  for  writing's  sake  ;  she  was  fully 
occupied.  Yet  I  knew  I  was  never  forgot- 
ten, by  the  occasional  packet  of  tracts  and 
papers  that  received  a  grateful  welcome  in 
my  sick  room,  where  I  lived,  God's  pris- 
oner. He  was  teaching  me  himself  the 
things  of  the  kingdom,  for  which   he  had 


PREMONITIONS.  67 

already  prepared  me  ;  slow  learner  that  I 
have  been ! 

One  morning  I  received  a  note  from 
Emily,  telling  me  of  the  shadow  of  that 
bright  cloud  which  was  destined  to  con- 
vey her  beyond  the  reach  of  pain.  The 
first  tokens  of  cancer  were  visible  to  her- 
self, and  her  apprehensions  were  confirmed 
by  three  of  the  faculty. 

The  simplicity  and  calmness  of  the  de- 
tail were  just  what  one  would  have  ex- 
pected from  the  trustful  tenor  of  her  life. 

On  the  reverse  of  the  note  was  written, 
"  Is  this  the  meaning  of  your  vision  after 
all.?  Pray  for  H ."  Nothing  for  her- 
self! 

After  the  consultation  with  the  surgeons, 
the  worst  was  confirmed  —  which  was  the 
best.  The  chariot  which  was  to  convey 
her  home  from  her  labors  to  the  eternal 
rest  in  the  bosom  of  the  Lord  she  loved 
was  in  motion.  And  all  this  she  told  her 
husband   when    she   returned,   with    her 


68  TELL  JESUS. 

usual  quiet  smile,  and  with  unbroken  com- 
posure. 

A  new  mode  of  treatment,  but  recentl}' 
introduced  into  England,  promised  (how 
fallaciously  we  had  yet  to  learn),  if  not  a 
cure,  at  least  an  alleviation  in  preference 
to  immediate  excision  ;  as  in  case  of  failure 
in  the  first  instance,  the  cancer  would  be 
still  in  the  same  position  for  what  appeared 
then  the  severer  alternative  of  extraction. 

At  such  a  season,  where  could  the 
sorely  tried  hearts  go,  but  unto  Him  who 
has  promised  to  be  a  refuge  in  the  time 
of  trouble  }  And  such  they  indeed  found 
him  ;  her  unselfish  heart  being  more  af- 
flicted in  her  beloved  husband's  trial  than 
in  her  own  anticipated  sufferings. 

There  are  other  souls  similarly  exer- 
cised, who  will  be  comforted  by  the  grace 
and  strength  given  to  this  tried  pair,  to 
meet  this  sudden  storm  upon  their  hither- 
to pleasant  homeward  path. 

"  From  the  first  certainty  that  we  had 


PREMONITIONS.  69 

of  the  nature  of  the  disease,"  says  Mr. 
Gosse,  "  we  had  earnestly  and  constantly 
sought  wisdom  from  God,  as  to  what 
measures  we  should  take.  We  had  been 
accustomed  to  act,  according  to  the  grace 
given  to  us,  on  that  command,  '  Be  careful 
for  nothing  ;  but  in  everything  by  prayer 
and  supplication,  with  thanksgiving,  let 
your  requests  be  made  known  unto  God.' 
—  Phil.  iv.  6.  —  We  believed  that  the 
amplitude  of  that  phrase,  '  m  everything' 
Ijpft  nothing  so  small  or  so  insignificant 
but  that  we  might  bring  it  and  roll  it 
on  Him,  the  gracious  burden-bearer  ;  and 
we  had  often  proved  the  truth  of  the  ac- 
companying promise,  '  The  peace  of  God 
shall  keep  your  hearts  and  minds  in  Christ 
Jesus.'  There  was  also  another  promise 
on  which  we  were  accustomed  to  act :  '  If 
any  of  you  lack  wisdom,  let  him  ask  of 
God,  that  giveth  to  all  men  liberally,  and 
upbraideth  not ;  and  it  shall  be  given  him.' 
James  i  5. 


70  TELL  JESUS. 

"  These  commands  and  promises  we 
unitedly  pleaded  before  our  Father,  fully 
trusting  that  he  would  care  for  us  accord 
ing  to  his  word  —  a  word  that  cannot  lie. 
We  asked,  in  confidence. that  we  should 
not  be  denied,  that  peace  would  keep  our 
hearts  and  minds,  and  that  wisdom  would 
be  given  us.  And  let  it  not  be  thought 
inconsistent  with  this  latter  promise,  that 
the  result  of  our  acting  was  different  from 
what  we  desired  and  expected  ;  not  even 
if  it  could  be  shown  that  the  treatment 
resorted  to  did  really  (as  I  believe  was  the 
case)  aggravate  my  beloved's  sufferings, 
and  hasten  her  death. 

"  It  is  true,  this  is  not  what  we  looked 
for.  We  asked  to  be  guided  with  infalli- 
ble wisdom,  and  we  thought  that  the  wis- 
dom would  be  shown  by  leading  us  to  choose 
the  most  effectual  mode  of  cure. 

"  But  God  had  not  promised  this.  He 
had  promised  to  give  wisdom,  and  I  must 
believe  that  he  did  give  it ;  that  the  treat- 


PREMONITIONS.  7 1 

ment  we  selected  was  the  one  which,  in 
this  particular  case,  he  saw  really  best  for 
us.     He  had  his  own  end  in  view,  and 
that  was  the  removal  of  his  beloved  child 
to  his  own  presence  in  paradise,  and  the 
sustentation    and    comfort    of   survivors. 
And  this  was  an  end  worthy  of  himself* 
so  that  I  dare  not  say  we  were  not  wisely 
directed  in  taking  the  steps  that  led  to  it. 
"The  wisdom   promised  by  God  is  a 
thing  for  faith  to  apprehend  :  having  asked 
'  unwaveringly,  with  singleness  of  eye,  his 
guidance,  I  must  believe  I  am  guided.     I 
must  believe  that  my  judgment,  when   I 
ultimately  choose,  is  influenced  —  insensi- 
bly, indeed,  but  not  less  really  —  by  his 
Spirit.      And   then  results   cannot  affect 
this  fact  of   Divine  guidance.     It  is  not 
the  part  of  faith  to  say,  if  the  result  turn 
out  according  to  my  wish,  '  I  was  surely 
guided  by  heavenly  wisdom  ; '  but  if  other- 
wise, '  T  was   left   to   myself     For   God 
r  vnnot  belie  himself,  and  he  has  nowhere 


72,  TELL  JESUS. 

promised  to  grant  his  children  all  that 
their  foolish  hearts  would  like,  but  what 
he  judges  best  for  their  real  welfare.  He 
has  promised  wisdom,  but  not  success. 

******* 

"  It  was  agreed  on  between  us,  that  no 
treatment  should  be  resorted  to,  unless 
we  were  both  of  the  same  mind  concern- 
ing it.  After  much  prayer,  then,  we  were 
perfectly  agreed  that  the  new  mode  of 
treatment  seemed  to  promise  best.  Ac- 
cording to  the  sources  of  information  open 
to  us,  it  appeared  to  present  comparative 
freedom  from  pain  in  the  process,  and  a 
far  greater  probability  of  ultimate  cure. 
With  the  knowledge  we  afterward  attained, 
we  should  no  doubt  have  decided  far 
otherwise  ;  but  it  was  not  the  Lord's  will 
that  we  should  decide  differently,  and 
therefore  he  saw  fit  to  withhold  from  us 
that  knowledge.      He  surely  guided  us, 


PREMONITIONS,  73 

however,  with  infinite  wisdom  to  fulfill  his 
purpose,  which  was  infinitely  good." 

Many  a  keenly-tempted  heart  this  rea- 
soning will  tend  to  strengthen,  for  it  rests 
on  the  faithfulness  of  Him  in  whom  is  no 
shadow  of  turning.  Not  that  the  quiet 
confidence  of  these  united  ones,  trusting 
in  the  simple  word  of  God,  will  of  itself 
give  comfort.  Each  one  must  draw  for 
himself  from  that  fountain  whose  every 
draught  invigorates  and  soothes. 

How  often  have  I  heard  the  remorseful 
srief  of  even  Christian  mourners  over  the 
failure  of  incans  used  for  the  restoration 
of  those  of  whom  they  were  bereaved. 
"  If  we  had  but  thought  of  this  remedy, 
or  heard  of  that  skillful  physician,  or  been 
enabled  to  take  a  journey  to  the  South,  or 
earlier  detected  the  symptoms  of  disease, 
there  is  no  doubt  our  lost  one  might  have 
been  spared  to  us  for  many  years."  Oh 
doubling  hearts  !  This  is  not  of  faith,  and 
is  therefore  sin.     If  you  have  sought  for 


74  TELL  JESUS. 

guidance,  you  must  believe  you  were 
guided  ;  and  although  the  result  may  be 
the  sundering  of  earth's  sweetest  ties,  and 
the  painful  process  of  purifying  fires,  which 
you  have  endured,  take  it  as  the  wisest 
answer  to  your  prayer.  His  thoughts  are 
not  our  thoughts.  His  thoughts  are  the 
best. 

"  None  liveth  to  himself,  and  no  man 
dieth  to  himself"  The  providence  that 
lays  perhaps  the  dearest  and  most  prom- 
ising of  a  family  on  the  bed  of  languishing, 
often  ordains  the  only  preacher  who  could 
effectually  reach  some  heart  by  that  home 
hearth.  Be  sure  of  this,  under  no  other 
circumstances  could  you  learn  the  partic- 
ular lesson  it  is  come  to  teach  you.  Has- 
ten to  seek  Him  by  whom  it  is  sent,  that 
you  may  not  miss  his  deep,  hidden  message 
of  love.  Let  not  sorrow  come  there  in 
teaching  or  warning  in  vain.  Pray  him  to 
sanctify  it :  to  enlighten  your  eyes,  if  you 
see  it  not  nor  trace  his   finger  in  the  dis- 


PREMONITIONS.  75 

pensation.  Fear  not ;  it  is  a  Father's 
hand,  and  for  every  new  and  changing 
phase  in  your  sorrowful  trial,  he  has  a  ready 
ear  turned  to  listen,  a  ready  hand  to  help. 
Shrink  not  from  unfolding  to  him  the  least 
perplexity  that  besets  your  path.  Every 
trial,  to  its  minutest  part,  has  been  or- 
dered and  arranged  by  him.  His  heart, 
more  tender  than  that  of  the  fondest 
mother,  deems  nothing  beneath  his  notice 
that  sends  his  child  tearful  and  often 
speechless  to  his  feet.  Waste  not  your 
precious  hours  in  seeking  for  creature  help. 
Go  where  the  fountain  flows  freely,  where 
all  love  and  might  are  waiting  for  you. 
Tell  Jesus. 

If  Thou  dost  call  our  loved  ones  home. 

Shall  we  thy  claims  deny  ? 
But,  gracious  Lord,  now  give  us  more 

Of  thy  sweet  company. 


Oh,  softly  weep  we  for  the  dead. 
Nor  let  our  grief  be  loud  I 


76  TELL  JESUS. 

So  shall  we  hear  his  voice  of  love 
Within  the  light-lined  cloud. 

They  rest  with  Iiim,  and  shall  our  praise 

Be  silent,  while  they  sing  ? 
Nay ;   clgud,  and  rain,  and  biting  blast 

Sweet  summer  fruit  shall  bring. 

Mourn  we  as  they  whose  hope  hath  died. 
With  those  his  love  bestowed  ? 

The  message  and  the  messenger 
Were  sent  alike  by  God. 

Shall  we  not  gird  us  for  the  fight, 
And,  as  we  heavenward  tread. 

Remember,  in  the  darkest  hours. 
What  he,  the  Lord,  hath  said  f 


W^ 


CHAPTER     IV. 

DILIGENCE    IN    SERVICE. 
"  He  must  needs  go  tlirough  Samaria."— John  iv.  4. 

]T  was  good  for  the  Samaritans 
that  Jesus  was  weary  and  faint 
with  travel  ;  but  for  that  Hnk  of 
the  blessing  he  had  not  tarried  two  days 
in  Samaria,  where  many  knew  him  as 
"indeed  the  Christ,  the  Saviour  of  the 
world."  Emily  must  needs  go  through 
a  strange  country,  to  testify  of  the  love 
and  faithfulness  of  Him  who  had  said, 
"  Call  unto  me,  and  I  will  answer  thee, 
and  show  thee  great  and  mighty  things 
which  thou  knowest  not  ?  " 

The  following  May,  the  beloved  sufferer 

n 


78  TELL  JESUS. 

was  placed  under  the  care  of  the  doctor, 
for  the  purpose  of  undergoing  the  new 
treatment  for  the  supposed  cure  of  can- 
cer, which  had  been  suggested  by  an 
Enghsh  physician  as  preferable  to  extrac- 
tion. 

And  now  began  a  season  which  was  to 
ripen  the  grain  for  the  garner,  and  try  the 
faith  of  her  life's  companion  in  this  tribu- 
lation. Emily  had  known  little  of  sick- 
ness ;  indeed,  excepting  an  occasional 
headache,  she  told  me  she  had  had  no 
experience  of  it  worth  mentioning,  yet 
her  nervous  system  was  so  peculiarly  sen- 
sitive, that  the  least  discomfort  would  unfit 
her  for  her  ordinary  avocations.  This 
trial,  then,  which  she  was  called  on  to 
undergo,  in  cutting  her  off  from  her  pleas- 
ant labor  of  writing  her  gospel  tracts,  and 
from  the  quiet  ministry  of  love  around 
her,  was  the  polishing  of  another  facet  in 
the  jewel  for  the  Saviour's  crown. 

The  physician   spoke  with  confidence 


DILIGENCE    IN    SERVICE.  79 

of  the  case  as  one  that  promised  a  happy 
issue.  When  I  saw  her,  and  marked  the 
vigor  of  her  frame,  and  the  brij^ht  hope 
ill  her  face,  I  took  hope  also.  Certain  it 
was,  that  her  affliction  was  blessed  to  all 
around  her,  and  to  none  more  than  myself, 
in  leading  me  to  mark  the  finger  of  God, 
and  to  acknowledge  his  love  in  giving  us 
our  raiment  of  heaviness  to  weave  into 
garments  of  beauty  for  his  glory. 

Emily's  attendance  on  Dr.  F. in- 
volved the  necessity  of  a  wearisome  jour- 
ney from  her  house  in  Barnsbury  to  Pim- 
lico,  three  times  a  week.  On  one  of  these 
days  I  accompanied  her.  It  was  a  bril- 
liant morning  in  June,  when  the  earth  is 
in  all  the  first  fresh  beauty  of  Summer. 
The  air  was  scented  with  the  mignonette 
and  Brompton  stocks,  which  filled  some 
of  the  balconies  in  the  West-end  squares. 
The  sky  had  scarcely  a  city  shadow  to 
shroud  its  cloudless  blue,  and  all  looked 
fair  without  —  a  strange  contrast  to  the 


80  TELL  JESUS. 

woeful  waiting  room  we  entered.  And 
sadder  still,  the  exchange  of  the  groups 
of  blooming  children  who  had  passed  us 
on  their  way  to  the  parks  and  gardens,  for 
the  band  of  pale  sufferers  that  soon  crowd- 
ed the  chamber.  One  who  knew  not 
God  might  have  thought  that  on  these 
poor  sickly  ones  the  curse  of  suffering 
humanity  had  specially  fallen  ;  he  would 
not  see  the  love  in  affliction,  wooing  man 
to  think  of  Him  whose  long-suffering 
waited  still  to  bless.  Among  these  poor 
stricken  ones,  Emily  Gosse  moved  as  a 
ministering  angel. 

Great  was  the  fatigue  she  endured  in 
these  journeys  to  and  fro,  but  she  only  dwelt 
on  the  opportunities  they  afforded  her  of 
telling  to  poor  sinners  the  love  of  Jesus, 
or  from  time  to  time  grasping  the  hand 
of  some  fellow  pilgrim  by  the  way. 

The  omnibus  and  the  waiting-room  were 
alike  her  field  of  labor.  That  morning 
every  one  was  very  civil  to  us  ;    receiving 


DILIGENCE    IN    SERVICE.  8l 

ner  tracts  and  "  Messengers  "  with  court- 
esy, and  many  read  them. 

"  But  how  do  you  know  what  to  take 
with  you  ?  "  I  asked,  rather  puzzled,  as  she 
sought  amongst  her  papers  for  one  and 
another,  and  as  I  marked  the  pause  before 
each  was  offered  ;  — "  How  do  you  feel 
sure  you  give  the  right  one  to  the  right 
person  ? "  She  whispered  the  secret  in  my 
ear.     Reader,  shall  I  tell  it  you  ? 

"  I  ask  Jesus  !  " 

She  then  related  to  me  the  following 
incidents,  afterwards  recorded  in  her 
pocket-book  in  pencil,  though  I  miss  there 
other  interesting  encounters  of  which  she 
told  me  at  the  same  time. 

"  Sometimes  my  fellow  passengers  are 
of  an  encouraging  kind,  and  receive  my 
tracts  with  pleasure  ;  sometimes,  on  the 
contrary,  their  very  looks  repel  one's  ad- 
vances. A  company  of  that  sort  I  met 
lately,  and  yet  things  turned  out  better 
than  I  anticipated. 


82  TELL  JESUS. 

"  I  took  out  a  paper  of  Mr.  Drummond's, 
of  Stirling,  and  after  reading  it  myself 
awhile,  I  presented  it  to  a  doubtful  looking 
gentleman  at  my  right,  who  looked  as  if 
he  would  have  rejected  a  tract.  By 
degrees,  as  others  came  in,  I  offered  what 
I  thought  most  likely  to  please  them  ;  and 
as  I  saw  some  get  out  their  spectacles 
and  others  read  without  such  aid,  I  got 
into  conversation  with  my  opposite  neigh- 
bor, a  Christian  lady,  who  became  quite 
interested  in  the  Stirling  enterprise,  and 
promised  to  show  the  "  British  Messenger," 
etc.,  to  some  Christian  friends  in  the 
country,  whither  she  was  going. 

"  Presently  my  attention  was  arrested 
by  a  poor,  little  old  man,  with  an  old  blue 
bag,  who  had  been  reading.  He  had  now 
taken  off  his  horn  spectacles,  and  put  them 
in  their  paper  case,  and  holding  up  a 
penny  in  his  hand,  he  made  a  sign  with 
his  finger,  as  though  he  would  cut  it  in 
half     When  the  noise  of  the  wheels  per- 


DILIGENCE    IN    SERVICE.  83 

mitted,  he  made  me  understand  that  he 
wanted  to  know  if  I  could  give  him  a  half- 
penny if  he  gave  me  his  penny.  I  shook 
my  head,  and  signified  I  did  not  want  his 
penny.  But  this  did  not  quite  satisfy  him  ; 
the  penny  was  put  for  a  moment  back  in 
his  pocket,  but  soon  appeared  again. 

"  The  old  man  had  evidently  counted 
the  cost,  and  ventured  his  whole  penny. 
I  would  much  rather  have  given  him  one  ; 
but  I  did  not  not  feel  it  right  to  refuse. 
It  was  like  the  widow's  mite ;  I  felt  it 
would  bring  a  blessing  with  it  —  a  blessing 
to  himself  and  to  others. 

"  I  thought,  '  If  I  buy  eight  tracts  with 
that  penny,  they  may  be  blessed  to  eight 
souls  ;  or  even  to  eight  hundred  !  Shall 
I  deprive  this  poor  man  of  that  honor  ? 
Besides,  he  will  doubtless  value  the  tracts 
I  gave  him  all  the  more  for  having  con- 
tributed to  pay  for  sending  tracts  to  others. 
Further,  this   httle  action  will  /rad  me  to 


84  TELL    JESUS. 

pray  fo7'  Jiis  soul,  which  I  should  not  other- 
wise have  done.' 

"  As  these  thoughts  passed  through  my 
raijid,  my  opposite  neighbor,  who  had 
seen  what  passed,  took  out  lier  purse  and 
offered  me  a  shilling.  Here  was  the  first 
fruit  of  my  old  man's  penny,  I  said  to 
her,  '  I  did  not  give  the  tracts  away  with 
any  expectation  of  payment.'  She  re- 
plied, '  I  know  that ;  but  of  course  there 
are  expenses  connected  with  giving  them 
away  :  put  that  into  your  poor-box.' 

"  She  would  not  have  thought  of  it  if  the 
old  man  had  not  given  his  penny.  Many 
have  often  received  tracts  and  *  British 
Messengers,'  and  have  never  thought  of 
helping  to  pay  for  sending  forth  more. 
Many  could  give  a  penny,  if  not  a  shilling. 
Perhaps  many  will  who  read  this  ;  and 
the  old  man  may  find  in  eternity,  that  his 
penny  has  produced  fruit  a  hundred  or  a 
thousand  fold."  * 

•  "Memorial,"  p.  15. 


DILIGENCE    IN   SERVICE.  85 

Emily  inquired  if  I  had  followed  out  a 
feeble  service  I  had  begun  ;  and  I  replied 
that  I  found  m);  motive  was  not  pure  in  it, 
and  so  I  gave  it  up. 

"  Don't  do  that,"  she  answered  ;  "  defeat 
Satan.  Tell  Jesus  your  design  is  not 
clearly  all  for  his  glory,  and  ask  him  to 
make  it  so  —  to  purify  your  motive;  but 
do   not   give    up   the   work.     You    know 

M says,  that  '  if  the  Father  sees  one 

grain  of  love  to  his  Son  in  the  effort,  it  is 
the  grain  of  gold  in  the  sand.  He  accepts 
it  for  Jesus'  sake,  and  the  blood  is  sprinkled 
on  the  rest.' "  It  was  the  same  ever  new 
song,  "  Tell  Jesus." 

That  happy  morning  is  still  fresh  in  my 
memory.  I  had  Emily  to  my  heart's  con- 
tent all  to  myself,  and  we  spoke  uninter- 
ruptedly of  what  was  dearest  to  both  of 
us  —  of  Jesus,  and  his  dealings  with  his 
people. 

A  tedious  case  preceded  our  arrival, 
and  we  had  long  to  wait.     A  young  lady 


86  TELL  JESUS. 

whom  she  expected  to  meet  her  there 
failed  in  her  appointment,  aad  this  gave 
us  the  opportunity  of  a  prolonged  conver- 
sation. We  both  said,  "  It  is  good  to  be 
here." 

When  I  remarked  that  it  was  the  only 
unbroken  interview  that  I  had  ever  en- 
joyed with  her,  she  smiled  her  bright  smile, 
and  immediately  directed  my  attention  to 
the  young  friend  whom  she  had  expected, 
and  who  was  now  entering  the  room. 

Still,  I  was  so  full  of  thankfulness  for 
this  happy  hour  of  communion  in  our 
beloved  Lord,  that  I  did  not  murmur. 
Other  patients  soon  followed,  and  my  in- 
terest was  absorbed  in  watching  Emily's 
gentle  greetings  to  some  she  had  met  be- 
fore, and  to  others  —  strangers  —  whose 
anxious  or  listless  countenances  she  was 
scanning  in  deep  sympathy.  And  again 
and  again  she  recurred  to  the  love  of  the 
Lord,  in  opening  out  to  her  these  oppor- 
tunities of  serving  him,  and  that  among 


DILIGENCE    IN   SERVICE.  87 

souls    she     could     not     otherwise    have 

reached. 

"  To  each,"  writes  Mr.  Gosse,  "  she  had 

a  word  of  grace  and  kindness,  undeterred 
by  the  scornful  refusal  of  some,  and  the 
stolid  indifference  of  others. 

"  Almost  all  who  resorted  to  that  room 
were  co-sufferers  with  herself,  or  friends 
or  relatives  of  such  ;  and  her  compassion 
was  largely  drawn  out  to  them,  impelling 
her  to  testify  of  Jesus'  love  to  them  if 
they  knew  it  not,  and  to  seek  mutually 
edifying  and  comforting  communion  with 
them,  if  they  were  already  his.  Not  a 
few  of  those  whom  she  met  were  rea' 
Christians.  Some  whose  hearts  became 
knit  to  hers  in  fervent  love,  passed  before 
her  into  the  presence  of  their  Lord,  going 
home  only  to  die  ;  others,  surviving,  still 
speak  in  admiring  praise  of  the  sweet 
savor  of  Jesus'  name,  which  was  every- 
where diffused  by  her.  Her  unselfish  love 
led  her  to  count  her  own  sufferings  light, 


88  TELL  JESUS. 

if  by  means  of  them  she  could  glorify  hot 
Lord. 

"  Nor  were  her  sympathies  confined  to 
the  spiritual  need  of  her  fellow-sufferers. 
Many  of  the  patients  were  very  poor,  ill 
able  to  afford  the  expense  of  coming  to 
and  fro,  of  lodgings,  of  attendance,  and  of 
the  little  comforts  indispensable  in  sick- 
ness. These  moved  her  loving  pity.  Her 
character  was  eminently  practical ;  she  did 
not  let  her  sympathy  evaporate  in  senti- 
mental speeches,  but  at  once  set  about 
seeing  what  could  be  done." 

"  On  one  occasion,"  says  a  valued  friend 
of  Emily's,    "  I   accompanied  her   to  Dr. 

F 's,  and  while  waiting  she  spoke,  as 

was  her  wont,  to  most  of  those  seated 
round  the  room.  She  came  at  length  to  a 
poor  man  who  appeared  to  be  in  a  very 
suffering  state,  and  asked  him  about  his 
hope  for  eternity.  He  replied  to  the 
effect  that  '  he  hoped  he  should  do  pretty 
well'     She  walked  a  few  paces  from  him, 


DILIGENCE    IN    SERVICE.  89 

and  then  returning,  solemnly  said,  '  There 
is  but  one  way  to  be  saved  ;  the  blood  of 
Jesus  Christ,  God's  Son,  cleanseth  from 
all  sin.'  She  added  a  few  more  words  ; 
but  what  affected  and  delighted. me  was 
that  in  her  fervor  she  no  longer  addressed 
that  man  in  particular,  but  there  she  stood 
as  God's  witness,  and  in  tones  that  all  in 
that  room  might,  and  I  believe  did  hear, 
although  perhaps  herself  unconscious  of  it 
proclaimed  the  blessed  tidings  of  salva- 
tion."* 

"  If  I  wanted  to  recommend  a  patent," 
said  Emily,  observing  how  little  testimony 
is  usually  given  for  Jesus,  owing  to  the 
fear  of  man,  "  I  should  not  at  the  first 
setting  out  force  it ;  but  if  I  were  travel- 
ing to  make  my  master's  patent  known,  be 
sure  that  in  whatsoever  society  I  was  cast 
I  should  let  it  be  seen." 

Certain  J  am,  that  when  we  are  on  our 

•  "  M  "inorial,"  p.  3,g, 


90  TELL  JESUS. 

watch-tower,  living  close  to  Je^us,  we 
have  weapons  more  powerful  than  worldly 
wisdom  can  use.  The  Holy  Spirit  will 
breathe  through  our  words,  and  piepare 
the  way  before  us. 

The  gentle  courtesy  of  the  words  and 
ways  of  one  living  in  the  light  of  Jesus's 
countenance  is  as  different  from  the  pol- 
ished surface  of  mere  worldly  politeness 
as  are  the  beams  of  the  setting  sun  to 
the  rays  of  a  gas  lamp. 

Only  a  trifling  occasion  may  be  granted 
us.  A  gnat  has  a  very  brief  opportunity, 
but  he  makes  the  most  of  it,  and  insinu- 
ates one  drop  of  poison  with  his  sting, 
which  leaves  discomfort  for  days,  and 
keeps  him  long  in  painful  remembrance. 
A  needle  is  a  very  little  thing,  but  how 
much  may  be  done  with  it  by  patient 
industry  —  strong  garments  for  daily  use, 
and  delicate  intricate  workmanship,  which 
the  loom  can  but  imitate !  If  an  instru- 
ment be  kept  bright,  and   lie   near   the 


DILIGENCE    IN    SERVICE.  9I 

great  Workman's  hand,  be  sure  it  will  be 
used,  and  if  not,  it  is  well  to  show  its 
willingness  lor  service. 

Many  a  weary  hour  might  be  wrought 
into  blessing,  in  the  waiting-rooms  of 
some  of  our  eminent  phys^icians. 

One  who  has  found  the  shelter  of  the 
Rock  against  the  storms  that  dash  our 
earth-nests  to  the  ground,  must  long  to 
whisper  of  its  sweet  security  to  others. 
And  where  is  there  a  sphere  in  which 
loving  sympathy  would  often  be  more 
appreciated  .-• 

The  heart  must  be  hardened  indeed, 
before  it  can  look  unmoved  upon  the  lines 
of  pain  and  disease  written  on  the  anxious 
faces  that  throng  these  crowded  rooms 
Those  whom  the  Lord  may  lead  thither, 
may  find  that,  if  they  have  returned  them- 
selves unhealed,  they  yet  have  been  sent 
there  to  guide  some  soul  to  the  fount  of 
healing. 

Many  opportunities  of  showing  the  love 


92  TELL    lESUS. 

of  Christ  to  others  will  appear  to  those 
who  really  desire  them  ;  and  if  we  do  not 
see  them,  the  Lord  can  open  our  eyes  to 
do  so.  If  all  else  be  denied,  there  is  the 
prayer  that  carries  these  sick  and  appar- 
ently careless  souls  to  that  fountain,  for 
whose  healing  waters  they  may  be  longing, 
while  waiting  for  some  man  to  help  them. 
Sick  one  whom  Jesus  loves,  think  what 
life-giving  blessings  you  bear  with  you 
into  this  world's  infirmary !  It  is  only  a 
new  furrow  of  the  field  to  till  for  Jesus. 
Your  prayer  of  faith  may  save  the  sick  of 
worse  than  nature's  leprosy ;  and  if  you 
are  cast  there,  remember  him. 

You  say, "  I  cannot  speak  to  strangers." 
It  is  a  blessed  thing  for  such  poor  lost 
sinners  as  the  reader  and  the  writer,  that 
the  Son  of  God  does  not  thus  answer  us 
He  came  to  bind  up  the  broken-hearted, 
to  comfort  the  mourner,  to  heal  the  leper, 
to  give  sight  to  the  blind,  to  make   the 


DILIGENCE   .N    SERVICE.  93 

lame  walk,  and  the  dumb  to  speak.     He 
calls  none  "strangers"  who  come  to  him. 

It  was  well  for  the  poor  Samaritan 
adulteress  that  Jesus  did  not  raise  such  ob- 
jections. Himself  a  stranger,  weary  with 
his  journey,  he  even  asked  of  one  with 
whom  the  Jews  had  no  .dealings,  a  cup  of 
cold  water  at  the  well  of  Sychar. 

He  came  in  blessing,  not  only  to  the 
lost  sheep  of  the  house  of  Israel,  but  to 
the  Syro-phoenician  woman,  whose  daugh- 
ter was  healed  through  a  mother's  perse- 
vering prayer. 

"Ye  are  my  friends,  if  ye  do  whatsoever 
I  command  you."  It  will  be  happy  for 
those  who  say  they  know  him,  and  labor 
for  him,  not  to  hear  at  last  from  his  lips, 
"  I  was  a  stranger,  and  ye  took  me  not  in." 

My  evil  heart  of  unbelief  at  this  time 
was  often  bringing  me  into  darkness  and 
desolation.  Satan  loves  to  weaken  the 
hands  for  service,  and  clcse  the  lips  for 
testimony,  by  summoning  before  us  past 


94  TELL  JESUS, 

transgressions  which  have  been  forever 
blotted  out  by  the  blood  of  Jesus. 

Emily,  with  her  sound  views  of  gospel 
truth,  could  not  understand  me  here.  It 
was  better  thus,  as  it  eventually  led  me  to 
confide  in  Him  who  knoweth  our  frame. 
Shattered  in  health,  and  easily  broken  in 
spirit,  the  great  Adversary  harassed  my 
mind  until  I  became  bewildered  and  afraid, 
and  could  no  longer  discern  through  the 
mist  of  doubt  that  the  covenant  was  or- 
dered for  me  "  in  all  things,  and  sure." 

We  are  promised  that  sin  shall  not  have 
dominion  over  us ;  nevertheless,  "  the 
flesh  lusteth  against  the  Spirit,"  therefore 
the  followers  of  the  great  Captain  must  be 
prepared  for  war.  Up  to  the  mercy-seat, 
ye  whom  Satan  harasses  with  remembered 
failures !  The  promise  of  the  Father  is 
written  there  in  the  blood  of  the  Lamb. 
It  is  pleaded  by  our  great  High  Priest ;  i' 
is  revealed  to  your  sinking  heart  by  the 
Comforter.     "  Fear  not,  only  believe." 


DILIGENCE    IN   SERVICE.  95 

At  this  time  Emily  wrote  to  me,  "  Do 
you  believe  that  God  has  forgiven  you  the 
sins  of  to-day  as  well  as  the  sins  of  your 
whole  life  ?  Then  forgive  yourself  A 
child  never  learns  to-day's  lessons  better 
for  fretting  over  the  neglected  task  of 
yesterday."     So  I  have  found  it. 

Satan  whispers  only  of  the  wrath  of  an 
offended  God  ;  the  Comforter  points  to 
the  Refuge.  The  great  Adversary  re- 
counts our  many  and  repeated  sins  ;  the 
Holy  Spirit  tells  of  the  Lamb  slain.  Enter 
into  the  covert  provided  against  the  as- 
saults of  the  "  terrible  one,"  and  thus  "  be 
strong  in  the  Lord,  and  in  the  power  of  his 
might" 


CHAPTER  V. 

THE   PATIENCE   OF    HOPE. 
'  For  ye  serve  the  Lord  Christ."  —  COL.  iii.  24. 

EAR  Emily  had  indeed  entered 
into  the  furnace.  The  vigor  of 
her  constitution,  and  the  cheer- 
fuhiess  which  seldom  failed  her,  prevented 
all  but  those  who  watched  her  with  the 
eye  of  affection  from  seeing  the  rapid  in- 
roads of  disease  upon  her  wasting  frame. 

Many  of  the  applications  of  the  new 
treatment  were  of  the  most  painful  nature, 
and  these  were  continued  without  inter- 
mission, and  persevered  in  until  the  end 
of  August. 

At  that  time,  with  the  full  consent  of 

Dr.  F ,  the  dear  sufferer  accompanied 

her  husband  to  Tenby,  on  the  coast   of 

q6 


THE   PATIENCE   OF    HOPE.  *    9/ 

South  Wales,  where  his  professional  en- 
Sfajrements  detained  him  until  the  follow- 
ing  month,  and  this  was  the  last  of  those 
happy  traveling  days  in  that  sweet  com- 
panionship of  their  wedded  life,  which  had 
never  been  interrupted  more  than  a  few 
days  since  their  union. 

Before  Emily  left  for  Tenby,  she  re- 
quested me,  in  her  absence,  to  remember 
her  need  of  a  servant, 

I  heard  of  an  aged  Christian  seeking  a 
Christian  home  for  her  granddaughter. 
She  had  been  carefully  trained  as  a  useful 
servant,  and  I  rejoiced  in  thinking  that  I 
had  an  open  door  for  her,  as  well  as  in 
meeting  the  need  of  Mrs.  Gosse.  I  wrote 
at  once,  but  during  some  delay  in  the  de- 
livery of  the  letter,  the  girl  was  engaged. 
Emily  writes  thus  : 

"It  is  very  strange  that  the  young  girl 
should  be  engaged  just  as  I  inquired 
about  her ;  but  that  sort  of  thing  has 
happened  to  me  several  times.     The  Lord 

7 


98      •  TELL  JESUS. 

knows  best  what  servant  I  should  have, 
and  I  desire  to  believe  he  will  provide  me 
with  one  —  the  right  one." 

The  large  share  of  blessing  she  received 
in  the  conversion  of  her  servants  through 
her  means,  might  encourage  others  to 
serv^e  the  Lord  in  this  manner.  Naturally 
it  is  more  pleasant  to  a  Christian  family 
to  receive  a  Christian  servant.  But  with 
those  who  walk  with  God  the  question 
will  always  be,  "  What  wouldst  tJwii  have 
me  to  do } "  and  the  result,  though  differ- 
ent from  what  may  have  been  anticipated, 
will  always  bring  peace.  Thus  again,  the 
Christian  servant,  standing  alone  in  a 
worldly  family,  if  faithful  to  her  heavenly 
Master,  and  not  a  mere  eye-server,  will 
shine  as  a  living  testimony  for  him,  if  he 
has  appointed  her  place  of  service. 

How  can  we  eat  of  the  rich  provision^ 
of  a  Father's  table,  without  longing  for 
those  around  us  to  share  in  the  costly 
blessing  offered  to  all  .-•     The  seamstress 


THE    PATIENCE    OF    HOPE.  99 

comes  and  goes,  the  tradespeople  around 
partake  of  our  custom,  and  yet,  too  often, 
nothing  but  a  silent  testimony  is  given, 
although  the  wise  man  has  said,  "  A  word 
spoken  in  due  season,  how  good  is  it ! " 

One  day  when  we  were  alone,  Emily 
spoke  to  me  of  the  inconsistency  of  wear- 
ing valuable  ornaments  ;  and  while  she 
did  so,  it  was  with  some  hesitation  of 
manner,  as  if  she  shrank  from  paining 
me.  She  perceived  that  she  had  not  made 
the  least  impression. 

I  said  frankly,  that  I  did  not  feel  it 
wrong  to  do  so.  I  did  not  wear  or  value 
them  for  their  intrinsic  worth,  but  for  the 
associations  connected  with  them.  I  had 
worn  them  for  years  ;  I  should  probably 
always  wear  them.     And  tJicn  I  thought  so. 

She  did  not  urge  the  point  —  perhaps 
she  felt  it  was  useless  ;  but  she  said,  in  a 
tone  of  self-reproof,  which  I  have  never 
forgotten,  "  I  should  have  waited  for  the 
Lord."     It  reminds  me  of  one  who  was 


lOO  TELL  JESUS. 

pressing  some  such  point  on  another 
Christian,  and  was  met  by  the  question 
"  Who  taught  you  that  ?  "  The  would-be 
teacher  repUed,  "  The  Lord."  "  Then," 
rejoined  the  other,  "  wait  until  the  Lord 
teaches  me!'  And  most  wisely  Emily 
waited.  She  never  afterwards,  by  hint  or 
suggestion,  alluded  to  the  subject,  or  if 
she  did,  I  was  not  conscious  of  it. 

Actions  performed  in  deference  to  the 
wishes  or  convictions  of  others  are  a  vain 
oblation.  The  laying  aside  of  gold,  and 
pearls,  and  costly  array,  from  such  a  motive 
is  of  no  more  value  in  the  sight  of  God, 
titan  the  "  Lord,  Lord,"  of  the  foolish  vir- 
gins. Outward  conduct  will  manifest  the 
inward  life.  "  As  a  man  thinketh  in  his 
heart,  so  is  he." 

I  found  myself  one  day  by  the  sick  bed 
of  a  poor  woman,  where  I  little  thought 
to  receive  the  silent  teaching  of  the  Holy 
Spirit.  "  But  the  sun  is  no  sooner  riseji 
with  a  burning  heat,  but  it  withereth  the 


THE   PATIENCE   OF    HOPE.  lOI 

grass."  As  I  knelt  by  her  side,  a  gleam 
of  sunlight,  from  the  half-closed  casement 
above  us,  fell  on  the  ring  I  wore  ;  but  this 
was  only  a  type  of  the  beam  of  Love  that 
fell  upon  my  soul !  My  heart  responded 
to  that  divine  influence.  The  diamond 
flashed  back  the  reflected  ray.  The  sun- 
beam had  its  mission  from  Him  who  crea- 
ted and  directed  it. 

The  loving  recollections  which  clustered 
around  the  costly  gem  were  lost  in  the 
greater  love  of  Him  who  laid  down  his 
life  for  his  enemies. 

When  I  left  that  dreary  little  room  for 
my  own  chamber,  it  was  to  gather  in  a 
heap  the  trinkets,  valuable  to  me  as  records 
of  broken  earthly  ties,  and  lay  them  at  the 
feet  of  my  gracious  Lord  with  tears  of  joy. 

He  accepted  them.  The  gold  and  the 
silver  are  his,  the  beasts  of  the  forest,  and 
the  cattle  upon  a  thousand  hills.  He  may 
use  the  hands  of  those  who  love  him  not, 
when  the  hearts  of  those  who  know  him 


102  TELL  JESUS. 

are  cold  in  his  service.  Valueless  to  him 
is  the  sacrifice  of  formalism  without  the 
sweet  constraint  of  love. 

The  soul  may  sometimes  say,  "  Will  he 
have  me  adorn  myself  with  his  silver  and 
gold .''  Will  it  make  me  fairer  in  his  eyes .-' 
Do  I  seek  to  please  man,  or  Jesus  only .-' " 

It  is  the  state  and  position  of  the  heart 
toward  God  that  has  to  be  regarded  ;  for 
though  you  give  all  your  goods  to  feed  the 
poor,  and  give  your  body  to  be  burned, 
and  have  not  charity,  it  profiteth  nothing. 

I  speak  what  I  do  know,  when  I  declare 
that  the  delight  of  carrying  such  Egyp- 
tian spoils,  with  all  their  fond  associations, 
to  the  feet  of  Jesus,  must  be  tasted  to  be 
understood  ;  while  the  love  which  rejoices 
in  his  acceptance  is  sweeter  to  him  than 

all  the  rest  —  more  precious  than  the  fine 
gold ! 

Heed  not  whether  the  world  may  count 
your  offering  small  or  great.  It  is  prec- 
ious in  the  eyes  of  the  Lord  of  the  whole 


THE    PATIENCE   OF    HOPE.  lOj 

earth.  As  the  tender  parent  smiles  on 
the  babe  who  totters  to  his  knee  with  the 
gift  of  its  first  gathered  daisy,  so  the 
heavenly  Father  looks  down  on  the  feeblest 
expression  of  his  children's  love. 

These  are  landmarks  on  which  the  soul 
looks  back,  and  then  erects  her  Peniels, 
and  presses  on  again,  rejoicing  that  in 
heaven  we  have  an  enduring  substance. 

Follower  of  the  Crucified,  shall  we  not 
leave  the  world's  baubles  and  costly  array 
for  the  worldling.?  They  can  have  no 
worth  in  the  sight  of  one  who  has  seen 
the  King  in  his  beauty,  and  whose  future 
home  is  with  the  Lord  of  glory ! 

As  the  agonizing  applications  were  con- 
tinued, Emily  found  this  visit  to  the  sea- 
side unlike  all  former  ones,  when  the  care 
of  the  body  had  so  Httle  obtruded  on  her 
notice.  Nevertheless,  she  still  found  a 
service,  and  she  has  told  me  how  much 
more  she  learned,  even  in  sympathy  for 


104  TELL  JESUS. 

Others,  in  this  new  path  in  which  the  Lord 
of  the  harvest  bade  her  sow. 

On  her  return  to  London,  after  five 
months'  vain  endurance  of  torture  to  dis- 
perse the  disease,  the  removal  of  the 
tumor  was  advised  as  the  most  hopeful, 
course.  The  long  journeys  to  and  fro 
had  now  to  be  discontinued,  and  a  lodging 
taken  for  her  at  Pimlico,  near  to  the  doc- 
tor's residence.  Here  she  passed  to 
another  spliere  of  teaching  and  trial,  ac- 
companied by  her  little  son,  her  compan- 
ion and  assiduous  nurse. 

Sleep,  which  up  to  the  present  time  had 
not  failed,  now  went  from  her,  and  it  was 
seldom  that  she  slumbered  birt  for  fitful 
seasons,  and  these  disturbed  by  the  moan 
that  never  escaped  her  patient  lips,  except 
when  wrung  from  her  in  the  extremity  of 
anguish.  Unable  to  find  ease  in  any  pos- 
ture, she  wandered  up  and  down  her 
chamber,  resting  her  head  from  time  to 
time  upon  the  mantelpiece  or  against  the 
wall 


THE   PATIENCE   OF    HOPE.  IO5 

Oh,  truly  this  was  a  season  to  dwell  on 
the  eternal  faithfulness  of  Him  whose  word 
is  truth.  Recollections  of  past  blessings 
and  prospects  of  future  joys  had  little 
power  to  sustain  ;  it  was  the  eternal 
"  NOW  ; "  the  present  pain  of  almost  every 
moment  bearing  up  to  the  High  Priest's 
censer  the  patient  sigh,  the  glance  of  trust. 
The  north  wind  of  the  Spirit  was  blowing 
over  the  beds  of  spices,  and  the  myrrh  and 
the  aloes  were  as  precious,  nay,  sweeter, 
doubtless,  to  the  blessed  Husbandman  in 
this  night  season  of  proving,  than  the 
"camphor,  with  spikenard,  calamus,  and 
cinnamon,  with  all  trees  of  frankincense," 
yielded  in  the  sunshine  of  her  life's  morn- 
ing. 

No  cloud  obscured  her  faith  or  shook 
her  trust ;  she  rested  on  the  Rock,  "  r. 
sign,"  —  a  child,  believing  in  the  irrmu-- 
table  woid  of  a  loving  Father  and  faithful 
God! 

In   re'^igning  the  joy  of  her  spirit,  ii' 


I06  TELL  JESUS. 

seemed  as  if  that,  having  ripened,  was 
"  laid  lip  "  for  her  :  the  new  wine  awaited 
her  in  her  Father's  house  ;  slie  could  afford 
to  put  by  the  spiced  wine  now,  and  drink 
the  myrrh  in  deeper  fellowship  with  Jesus. 

If  the  intensity  of  her  suffering  abated 
it  was  all  that  could  be  said  of  the  most 
quiet  hour  ;  never  was  she  wholly  free 
again  from  its  agony,  until  she  put  off  her 
heavy  robe  of  earth,  for  the  garment  of 
praise  and  the  girdle  of  gladness,  in  the 
light  of  the  land  of  the  Lamb. 

Again  she  had  to  undergo  the  agonizing 
application,  and  she  resigned  herself  to  the 
new  torture  in  calm  submission  to  her 
Father's  will  ;  nor  during  the  protracted 
season  of  every  new  experience  of  suffering 
did  one  word  of  murmuring  escape  her, 
nor  by  expression  or  look  was  intimated  a 
doubt  of  the  loving-kindness  of  her  Lord. 
She  delighted  to  dv/ell  on  his  goodness, 
and  this  was  often  manifest  to  her.  because 
Qf  her  quick  understanding  in  the  fe^r  of 


THE    PATIENCE    OF    HOPE.  IO7 

the  Lord,  when  others,  less  instructed  in 
God's  school,  might  have  failed  to  trace  it. 
"  How  merciful   it   is    of  the    Lord,  that 

"  was  so  frequent  a  commencement 

of  her  sentences  as  to  be  recognized  as 
quite  characteristic  by  those  who  were  in- 
timate with  her.* 

Once  when  I  visited  her  at  Pimlico,  I 
took  with  me  some  grapes,  almost  as  much 
for  their  rare  beauty,  as  the  delight  of 
carrying  her  anything  to  refresh  her 
fevered  appetite.  When  I  reached  her 
lodgings,  I  found  her  heated  and  excited 
from  an  injudicious  visitor  who  was  in- 
dulging in  controversial  argument,  to  the 
distress  of  the  dear  sufferer. 

And  here  I  would  say  a  word  to  those 
who  visit  the  sick  room,  either  from  solely 
benevolent  motives,  or  otherwise  design- 
ing spiritual  benefit  to  those  they  visit. 
r»o  not  forget  that  it  is  not  simply  a  room 

•  "  Memorial,"  p.  36. 


I08  TELL  JESUS. 

shut  out  from  the  external  life  from  which 
you  come  ;  but  also,  if  not  of  actual  suffer- 
ing, yet  often  of  exhaustion  consequent  on 
pain.  Few  are  fitted  to  minister  to  the 
sick,  whether  it  be  the  body's  ailment  or 
soul  sickness.  Those  who  have  lived 
much  in  such  an  atmosphere  can  tell  how 
the  shattered  frame  and  exhausted  nerves 
tremble  beneath  the  bustling  entrance,  and 
loud  voice,  and  controversial  conversation  ; 
and  how  the  long-protracted  visit,  that  has 
no  particular  aim  or  object,  robs  the  poor 
sufferer  of  the  hour's  rest  or  comfort  which 
the  visitor  has  no  power  to  impart.  There 
is  one  way  to  be  blessed,  and  to  be  made  a 
blessing.  Waiting  on  jesus,  you  may 
carry  refreshment  with  you,  and  receive 
in  return  some  new  lesson  of  love,  learned 
in  the  shadow  of  that  cloud  which  you 
have  never  under  the  same  circumstances 
entered  ;  but  it  is  a  special  ministry.  "  I 
was  sick  and  ye  visited  me !  "     This  kept 


THE    PATIENCE    OF    HOFE.  IO9 

in  remembrance  will  leave  a  blessing  on 
the  giver  and  on  the  receiver. 

The  Lord  moved  her  unpropitious  visitor 
to  depart,  and  the  weary,  flushed  face  of 
the  invalid  sank  back,  restored  to  its  peace- 
ful aspect  as  the  pressure  on  her  spirit  v/as 
removed. 

I  enjoyed  speaking  with  her  on  the 
Lord's  love  in  angelic  ministry,  and  scarce- 
ly ever  did  we  do  so,  but  she  alluded  to  or 
repeated  her  favorite  hymn. 


"Thy  minist'ring  spirits  descend 

To  watch  while  thy  saints  are  asleep  j 
By  day  and  by  night  they  attend, 

The  heirs  of  salvation  to  keep : 
Bright  seraphs,  dispatched  from  the  throne, 

Repair  to  the  stations  assigned, 
And  angels  elect  are  sent  down 

To  guard  the  elect  of  mankind. 

"  Their  worship  no  interval  knows, 
Their  fervor  is  still  on  the  wing, 
And  while  they  protect  my  repose. 
They  chant  to  the  praise  of  my  King 


no  TELL   JESUS. 

I,  too,  at  the  season  ordained, 
Their  chorus  forever  shall  join, 

And  love  and  adore  without  end 
Their  faithful  Creator,  and  mine 


» 


As  I  bathed  her  heated  hands  and  ar- 
ranged her  pillows  this  afternoon,  she  said, 
"  I  have  been  thinking  much,  particularly 
in  the  night,  of  the  ministry  of  angels  :  I 
am  sure  the  angels  brought  you  to  me  at 
the  moment  I  most  needed  you." 

Then  I  traced  with  her  the  chain  of  cir- 
cumstances that  had  not  only  led  me  to 
London,  but  within  a  street  or  two  of  her 
lodgings,  which  I  knew  not  until  I  set  out 
to  visit  her,  never  having  been  there  be- 
fore.    She  exclaimed : 

"  How  good  the  Lord  was  to  send  you^ 
just  when  he  did  !  The  Lord  will  reward 
you." 

I  was  silent.  She  smiled  and  added, 
"  Oh,  I  forgot,  you  will  not  be  rewarded. 
I  must  remember  your  theory,  that  when 
we  have  pleasure  in  doing  anything  for 


THE   PATIENCE   OF    HOPE.  1 1  I 

Jesus,  we  havQ  our  reward  here,  and  are 
not  to  expect  any  other  in  heaven.  1 
think  some  of  us  will  be  surprised  when 
we  get  home,  to  find  what  the  Lord  saw 
fitted  for  reward,  and  how  much  was  sin." 
A  plate  of  grapes  was  on  the  table  ; 
this  was  a  disappointment  to  me,  and  I 
told  her  so,  having  thought  to  bring  her 
what  perhaps  she  desired.  Great  I  know 
was  my  delight  to  find  that  the  fruit  was 
uneatable,  and  that  she  had  set  it  aside. 
Those  who  have  fei;v  opportunities  of  thus 
helping  the  sick  ones,  will  share  my  pleas- 
ure, when  I  opened  the  basket  and  showed 
her  the  white-water  grapes  nestling  in 
their  bed  of  fresh  green  leaves.  And  then 
I  had  the  joy  of  seeing  also  the  Lord's 
tenderness,  in  allowing  me  to  experience 
how  such  a  trifling  thing  done  for  him 
could  be  blessed.  She  held  the  last  grape 
in  her  attenuated  fingers,  and  paused ; 
her  countenance  was  sweetly  solemn,  and 


112  TELL  JESUS. 

her  eyes  were  closed.      It  was  something 
Hke  the  deep  peace  of  her  visioned  face. 

At  last  she  spoke.  "  I  have  been  ask- 
ing Jesus  never  to  let  you  want  grapes  in 
your  sickness  ;  and,"  she  added  emphat- 
ically, "  he  never  will!' 

And  here  I  witness  to  the  acceptance 
of  Emily's  loving  prayer.  Through  long 
and  wearisome  ilhiesses,  and  they  have 
been  many,  I  have  never  lacked  any  good 
thing,  and  above  all,  the  tender  love  of 
my  heavenly  Father  has  supplied  me  won- 
derfully with  this  refreshing  fruit,  and 
gladdened  my  heart  by  enabling  me  to 
serve  others  from  his  abundant  store. 
Fit  living  emblem  of  Jesus,  full  of  holy 
associations,  bringing  in  many  a  long 
night-watch,  thoughts  of  the  past,  invig- 
orating to  my  soul ;  none  the  least,  the 
recollection  of  that  day's  fervent  prayer. 

An  endless  record  is  the  loving  kindness 
of  my  beloved  Lord  to  me.  Each  ciiister 
of  grapes  since  that  day  has  had  its  history ; 


rim    PATIENCE    OF    HOPE,  I  13 

with  every  one  comes  the  same  sweet  mes- 
sage that  was  whispered  to  my  heart,  in 
the  dawn  of  that  morning,  so  soun  to 
shine  in  the  glory  of  the  Lord  on  my 
soul :  — "  Inasmuch  as  you  have  done  it 
unto  her,  you  have  done  it  unto  me  ! " 

If  any  hope  of  Emily's  partial  restora- 
tion had  been  indulged  in,  it  was  now 
swept  away.  The  terrible  torture  to  which 
her  exhausted  frame  had  been  subjected, 
was  of  no  avail,  as  far  as  any  curative 
effect  was  concerned  ;  the  doctor  at  last 
pronouncing  that  the  disease  was  in  the 
blood.  This  might  have  been  manifested 
in  the  first  instance,  and  much  of  the  sub- 
sequent agony  have  been  spared.  But  it 
was  the  Lord's  will  that  it  should  not  be 
so,  and  that  this  furnace  of  peculiar  char- 
acter should  be  used  in  the  purification  of 
one  whom  he  intended  to  honor. 

Again  this  sorely-tried  pair  sought  the 
great  Counselor,  and  found,  as  all  must, 
who    seek   him    in    simplicity  and  truth 


114  TELL   JESUS. 

peace,  "  perfect  peace,"  becaust  they  trusted 
in  him. 

Both  felt  that  an  entire  change  of  treat- 
ment was  necessary,  and  that  without 
delay. 

Emily  had  a  strong  predilection  in  favor 
of  homoeopathy  ;  she  had  always  been  its 
firm  advocate,  and  her  husband's  mind 
inclining  toward  it,  they  decided  upon  a 
homoeopathic  course  of  treatment. 

When  I  next  saw  her,  I  told  her  I  re- 
joiced in  the  decision,  and  that  I  had 
greatly  longed  for  her  to  try  it  the  whole 
time  she  was  at  Pimlico. 

"  And  why,  then,  did  you  never  urge  it  ? " 
she  inquired. 

I  explained  to  her  how  each  time  I  tried 
to  do  so  I  was  withheld  by  the  dread  of 
interfering  with  a  treatment  they  had 
both  earnestly  sought  in  prayer,  and  by  a 
fear  of  in  any  way  unsettling  her  mind. 

This  seemed  to  her  confirmatory  that 
the  mixing  of  this  loving  ci  p  was  all  of 


THE    TATIENCE    OF    HOPE.  11$ 

Him  whose  name  is  love,  and  that  not 
one  bitter  drop  in  the  draught,  or  one 
blessing  in  its  reception,  could  have  been 
spared.  "  For  I  reckon  that  the  suffer- 
ings of  this  present  time  are  not  worthy 
to  be  compared  with  the  glory  which  shall 
be  revealed  in  us."     Rom.  viii.  i8. 

She  was  at  once  removed  from  Pimlico, 
to  the  comfort  of  her  own  home  at  Barns- 
bury,  and  keenly  realized  the  pleasant 
change  from  their  lodgings,  which  had 
been  primarily  sought  from  their  being 
nearer  Dr. . 

Every  day  brought  fresh  occasion  of 
thanksgiving  for  this  last  step  of  depend- 
ence on  the  Lord. 

During  this  time  of  pain  and  weakness, 
she  saw  through  the  press  three  of  her 
last  tracts,  "  A  Home  Welcome,"  "  The 
Two  Hospital  Patients,"  and  "  The  Dying 
Postman,"  written  during  her  stay  at 
Pimlico. 

Her  service  was  changing,  but  it  was 


Il6  TELL  JESUS. 

the  same  Master  who  was  rapidly  mo\ing 
her  from  one  section  to  another  of  his 
school,  in  each  of  which  she  learned  some- 
thing of  him  which  she  could  have  learned 
under  no  other  dispensation.  She  wrote 
no  more. 

No  exalted  joys  brightened  her  way  ; 
scarcely  was  it  possible  for  that  sorely 
suffering  frame  to  respond  to  gladness. 
Neither  was  there  one  desponding  sigh, 
one  murmur,  to  ruffle  a  peace  that  anchored 
in  the  word  of  a  covenant  God. 

Her  nerves  were  shattered  by  unceasing 
pain,  and  the  enfeebled  body  worn  by 
sleeplessness  and  the  semi-recumbent  po- 
sition which  she  was  obliged  to  maintain. 
The  powerful  remedies,  used  to  combat 
the  disease  and  produce  sleep,  had  acted 
on  the  susceptible  nervous  temperament, 
so  that  the  once  strong  brain  and  vigorous 
thought  could  no  longer  be  concentrated 
upon  a  subject,  and  many  days  she  could 
look  no  farther  than  to  the  cessation  of  the 


THE    PATIENCE    OF    HOPE,  IT/ 

present  paroxysm  of  pain,  to  the  hope  of 
relief.  Her  trust  in  the  faithfuhiess  of  Him 
with  whom  she  had  walked  in  the  cheerful 
and  unclouded  noonday,  was  her  trust  still, 
in  the  thorny  path,  with  the  shadows  of 
night  lengthening  round  her. 

A  few  verses  at  most  from  that  Book 
which  had  been  her  life's  treasure  were  as 
much  as  she  could  bear.  A  beautiful  hymn 
of  Toplady's  was  her  favorite  throughout 
her  illness  ;  she  was  never  weary  of  hear- 
ing it : 

"  Kind  Author  and  ground  of  my  hope. 

Thee,  tliee  for  my  God  I  avow ; 
My  glad  Ebemzer  set  up, 

And  own  thou  hast  helped  nie  till  now. 
I  muse  on  the  years  that  are  past, 

Wherein  my  defense  thou  hast  proved. 
Nor  wilt  tliou  relinquish  at  last 

A  sinner  so  signally  loved." 

And  this  last  line  she  often  dwelt  on  with 
peculiar  delight. 

The  beloved  companion  of  her  labors  of 


Il8  TELL  JESUS. 

love,  who  shared  with  her  in  seeking  out 
of  the  Book  of  the  Lord  and  reading 
therein,  had  now  become  the  tender  nurse 
of  her  sick  cliambcr  ;  and,  to  add  to  many 
blessings,  a  relative  left  her  own  family 
unsolicited,  to  go  to  them  and  help  at  a 
time  when  such  sisterly  love  was  the  im- 
mediate answer  to  prayer. 

It  may  be  a  mystery  to  some  why  these 
things  should  be,  that  one  so  devoted  to 
her  Master's  service  should  be  called  to 
lay  down  the  work  so  dear  to  her  heart. 
We  cannot  trace  the  dealings  of  the  Lord 
with  his  people  by  the  light  of  nature,  nor 
hear  his  voice  in  the  storm  that  beats 
around  our  own  path,  with  the  natural  ear. 
"  We  walk  by  faith,  not  by  sight." 

Some  deeper  lesson  to  be  learned,  some 
secret  thing  of  God  to  be  revealed,  some 
hitherto  unknown  manifestation  of  the 
Comforter,  is  often  reserved  for  the  sanc- 
tuary of  the  sick  chamber. 

Suffering  is  still  a  service,  not  only  be- 


THE   PATIENCE    OF   HOPE.  1 1 9 

fore  Christ  and  the  unseen  world,  but  also 
for  that  multitude  among  whom  the  sufferer 
can  no  longer  visibly  minister. 

There  are  lone  watches  in  the  night, 
when  Jesus  and  the  soul  have  deep  com- 
munings ;  and  as  the  hours  pass  of  the 
day  that  calls  others  to  its  labor,  the  Lord 
is  gathering  from  many  a  secluded  priest 
the  prayer  that  shall  fall  in  blessings  on 
the  seed  scattered  in  his  name. 

Nor  was  the  sick  room  of  Emily  Gosse 
without  its  ministry.  When  unaBle  longer 
to  write,  the  packets  of  tracts  and  papers 
that  went  forth  under  her  direction  be- 
came messages  of  love  ;  —  more  deeply 
valued  from  the  very  circumstance  of  her 
remembrance  amid  her  own  severe  suffer- 
ings. 

"  She  possessed,"  observes  her  husband, 
"  a  remarkable  power  of  obtaining  the  con- 
fidence of  strangers.  It  was  quite  a  com- 
mon occurrence  for  a  traveling  companion 
to  open  up  to  her  the  history  of  a  life,  and 


120  TELL  JESUS. 

this  though  she  was  by  no  means  commu- 
nicative of  her  own  private  affairs.  Often 
has  she  come  home  and  told  me  a  story 
full  of  romantic  passages,  which  had  been 
confided  to  her  by  some  forlorn  woman, 
whom  she  had  met  laden  with  trouble.  I 
believe  it  was  owing  to  her  great  power  of 
sympathy,  which  was  quick  to  read  trouble 
and  sorrow  in  another's  countenance,  and 
which  then,  by  some  gentle  word  of  in- 
quiry or  condolence,  opened  the  springs 
of  grief,  so  that  it  flowed  forth. 

"  And  then  she  was  a  willing  and  atten- 
tive listener,  and  a  wise  and  judicious 
counselor ;  and  while  she  did  not  fail  to 
manifest  her  interest  in  the  temporal  sor- 
rows thus  confided  to  her,  she  always 
sought  to  make  the  conversation  an  occa- 
sion for  introducing  higher  topics.  It  was 
one  prominent  feature  of  her  character, 
that  she  was  always  on  the  watch  for  occa- 
sions of  speaking  a  word  for  Jesus. 

"  If  her  companion  was  a  believer,  she 


THE    PATIENCE   OF   HOPE.  121 

would  try  to"  excite  a  more  potent  faith,  if 
that  was  lacking,  in  the  wisdom  and  love 
of  God  ;  and  specially  she  loved  to  lead  up 
the  thoughts  to  Jesus,  as  the  great  High 
Priest,  and  the  unfailing  Advocate.  But 
if,  as  was  commonly  the  case,  such  themes 
elicited  no  response,  or  only  that  vague 
assent  which  tells  that  the  hearer  has  no 
interest  in  them,  then  she  would  ingeni- 
ously, and  without  obtrusiveness,  speak  of 
the  need  of  being  prepared  for  eternity,  of 
the  mode  in  which  such  a  preparation  was 
to  be  obtained,  and  of  the  cleansing  blood 
of  Christ.  If  there  was  one  gospel  text 
which  more  than  any  other  she  delighted 
to  quote  in  such  conversation,  it  was  'this  : 
'  The  blood  of  Jesus  Christ,  God's  Son, 
cleanscth  us  from  all  sin.'  "     i  John,  i.  7. 

She  was  very  slow  to  judge  others,  but 
very  swift  in  judging  herself;  and  that 
even  in  offices  of  benevolence.  She  said, 
"  Unless  we  are  doing  the  Lord's  will, 
even  in  relieving  others,  we  may  be  inter- 


122  TELL   JESUS, 

fering  with  his  work.     It  was  great  pain 

to  me  to  den}'  myself  in  regard  to  E 

yesterday  ;  but  I  had  asked  Jesus  It 
would  have  been  easier  to  the  flesh  to 
give,  but  it  was  not  his  will,  and  I  with- 
held the  money." 

I  confessed  to  her  that  I  had  given,  and 
had  not  asked  counsel  of  the  Lord.  A 
year  after  her  decease  I  was  allowed  to 
see  that  I  had  walked  by  sense  and  natu- 
ral benevolence  ;  Emily  in  the  power  of 
the  faith  of  the  new  man. 

We  were  speaking  of  the  busy  workers 
and  benevolent  people  who  care  nothing 
for  the  Lord  himself 

I  had  found  it  difficult  then  to  realize 
that  those  who  showed  kindness  to  the 
Lord's  people,  and  assisted  in  work  for 
his  purposes,  could  be  wholly  unapproved 
of  him.  So  slow  was  I  to  recognize  the 
utterly  lost  slate  of  the  natural  man.  I 
had  not  seen  then,  that  the  cup  of  cold 


THE    PATIENCE    OF    HOPE.  1 23 

water,  given  to  his  least  disciple,  must  be 
given  for  the  sake  of  Jcsiis,  to  be  accepted. 

Emily's  remark  was,  "They  are  like 
Noah's  carpenters ; "  and  turning  to  hei 
husband  she  said,  smiling : 

"  Henry,  you  illustrate  it." 

Mr.  Gosse  kindly  put  down  his  book, 
and  replied  readily : 

"  Suppose  I  have  a  son  who  is  at  enmity 
with  me,  and  refuses  to  be  reconciled.  He 
will  not  live  with  me,  he  has  a  house  next 
door,  he  is  content  to  dwell  in  it,  and 
never  sec  my  face.  I  am  rearing  some 
caterpillars  in  my  garden,  to  which  I  at- 
tach value ;  my  son  amuses  himself  by 
leaning  over  the  wall  to  feed  my  caterpil- 
lars, which  I  can  do  without  him  ;  shall  I 
owe  him  gratitude,  that  he  amuses  him- 
self, while  he  refuses  to  be  reconciled  to 
me?" 

One  who  had  lived  in  sweet  fellowship 
with  her  eighteen  years  before  T  was 
blessed  in  knowing  her,  thus  writes: 


124  TELL  JESUS. 

"  I  can  truly  say,  that  almost  every  rec- 
ollection of  my  much  beloved  friend  is 
fragrant  with  the  name  of  Jesus.  She 
lived  to  serve  and  glorify  him  ;  it  was  the 
one  object  of  her  life.  I  do  not  think  I 
ever  met  with  a  person  so  s,ingle-eyed,  or 
so  consistent  as  a  Christian  :  it  was  to  me 
a  continual  memento  of  what  we  ought  to 
be.  Prayer  was  her  strength ;  she  took 
everything  to  Jesus  :  things  pleasant  or 
sad,  perplexing  or  comforting,  alike  were 
imparted  into  his  ever  open  ear.  Oh,  how 
often  have  we  knelt  together,  and  she  has 
taught  me  to  seek  for  grace  for  others  as 
well  as  myself,  at  a  throne  of  grace !  She 
used  to  say,  '  We  can  never  speak  against 
any  one  we  have  prayed  for  ; '  and  '  Let  us 
ask  the  Lord,'  was  her  continual  invitation. 
Her  prayers  were  most  simple  and  fervent, 
literally  those  of  a  loving  child,  in  the 
greatest  simplicity  telling  her  Father 
everything,  and  owning  his  hand  in  every- 
thing.    She  used  to  say  nothing  was  too 


THE    PATIENCE    OF    HOPE.  125 

minute  for  him  to  care  for  ;  and  if  she  in- 
tended to  go  one  way,  and  her  plans  were 
quite  defeated,  she  could  rejoice  in  the 
conviction  that  he  was  guiding  her  path, 
and  this  was  happiness.  She  had  great 
sympathy  for  those  in  trial,  and  sought  by 
prayer  to  help  them  when  in  no  other  way 
she  could.  Though  extremely  cheerful, 
her  heart  responded  instantly  to  the  plea 
of  sorrow,  and  by  personal  sympathy  and 
prayer  she  made  the  trials  of  others  her 
own. 

"  She  was  a  most  devoted  daughter  and 
sister.  She  told  me  her  mother  was  a 
peculiarly  clever  woman,  and  that  they 
were  chiefly  indebted  to  her  for  their  love 
of  knowledge.  She  taught  them  the 
classics,  and  Emily  herself  was  quite  a 
scholar.  Latin  and  Greek  she  was  famil- 
iar with  ;  I  feel  uncertain  about  Hebrew. 
She  was  fond  of  teaching,  and  for  some 
years,  I  know,  she  maintained  her  brother 
at  the  university  by  her  disinterested  ap- 


126  TELL   JESUS. 

propriation  of  her  income  to  this  object. 
They  were  a  most  united  family. 

"  Among  the  many  precious  reminiscen- 
ces of  our  friendship,  few  things  strike  me 
more  forcibly  than  what  I  would  call  her 
*  family  love.'  No  matter  whether  rich  or 
poor,  learned  or  unlearned,  agreeable  or 
disagreeable,  if  she  discovered  in  them  the 
lineaments  of  her  blessed  Saviour,  she 
was  irresistibly  attracted  to  them,  and 
sought  in  every  way  to  get  good,  or  to  do 
good. 

"  Her  self-denying  efforts  were  unwea- 
ried in  cases  of  emergency  or  distress,  and 
no  amount  of  disappointment  or  personal 
discomfort  would  change  her  purpose. 
Sometimes,  when  surprise  has  been  ex- 
pressed that  she  was  not  discouraged,  she 
would  say,  'We  are  all  clay  in  the  hands 
of  the  great  Potter.  He  knows  how  to 
accomplish  his  purpose  of  making  us 
vessels  of  honor  ;  and  as  I  must  meet 
them  in  the  glory  and  admire  them  then, 


THE   PATIENCE   OF    HOPE.  1 27 

I  had  better  begin  now  to  try  what  there 
is  to  like.'  Thus  would  she  check  a  de- 
tracting spirit  in  others,  by  her  example 
as  well  as  her  words,  and  lead  the  thoughts 
of  her  companions  to  that  coming  day, 
when  Jesus  Christ  will  own  every  instance 
of  such  service  as  done  to  himself. 

"  I  have  often  thought  the  '  inasmuch ' 
richly  belonged  to  her.  Do  you  remem- 
ber her  happy  cheerfulness  which  made 
her  such  a  bright  home  companion,  never 
gloomy,  always  buoyant  for  the  occasion  ? 

"Those  who  knew  her  best  loved  her 
most,  and  were  sure  of  her  sympathy  for 
joy  or  sorrow.  Yet  it  is  only  right  to 
state,  lest  some  who  slightly  knew  her 
should  consider  her  character  overdrawn, 
that  a  certain  btiisqiierie  of  manner,  and  a 
want  of  completeness  in  the  minor  eti- 
quette of  society,  often  did  great  injustice 
to  the  real  refinement  of  heart  and  mind 
which  she  eminently  possessed. 

"  After  her  marriage  I  saw  much  less 


128  TELL  JESUS. 

of  her ;  but  still  learned  by  her  example 
the  value  of  God's  Word,  its  practical 
power  to  meet  every  circumstance  of  life. 
It  was  a  great  change  to  one  who  had 
been  always  at  liberty  to  visit  and  care  for 
others,  to  fulfill  literally  the  apostle's  in- 
junction to  be  a  'keeper  at  home,'  to 
'  submit  herself  to  her  husband  as  to  the 
Lord ; '  but  she  owned  the  duty  as  im- 
parted from  on  high,  and  sought  for  the 
needed  grace  to  'adorn  the  doctrine/ 
She  daily  sought  to  '  reverence  her  hus- 
band,' and  to  merge  all  her  tastes  and 
wishes  in  his,  so  that  she  truly  became  a 
meet  helper  to  him,  and  they  walked  to- 
gether '  as  heirs  of  the  grace  of  life.'  She 
greatly  dreaded  anything  that  should 
hinder  their  prayers  ;  for  union  in  Jesus 
was  her  aim  in  everything.  Her  sphere 
of  service  from  this  time  was  changed  ; 
but  still  how  useful !  What  she  did  will 
only  be  known  when  the  secrets  of  all 
hearts  will  be  revealed  ;    her  tracts  prove 


THE   PATIENCE    OF    HOPE.  1 29 

much.  I  believe  few,  if  any,  knew  that 
they  (Mr.  G.  and  herself)  mainly  support- 
ed a  missionary  to  the  jDOor,  and  she  her- 
self told  me  that  most  of  the  striking 
anecdotes  related  in  her  tracts  came  under 
their  notice  through  his  visitations  ;  others 
occurred  to  herself,  and  all  were  true. 

"  Dear  Emily !  I  love  to  think  of  her, 
and  owe  much,  very  much  to  her ;  for  our 
most  intimate  intercourse  was  ever  at  the 
mercy-seat.  The  last  time  she  was  here 
seems  but  a  few  weeks  since,  so  vividly  is 
it  before  my  mental  eye.  She  had  been 
to  consult  a  physician,  and  told  me,  for 
the  first  time,  what  were  her  own  fears  and 
his  confirmation.  Oh,  how  rapidly  from 
that  day  she  faded !  It  is  dif^cult  not  to 
repeat,  whenever  I  think  of  her,  '  Let  me 
not  fall  into  the  hands  of  man,  but  into 
the  hands  of  God.'  It  was  a  fiery  ordeal 
she  endured  during  her  last  weeks  on 
earth  ;  but  never  can  I  forget  her  patience, 
submission,  and  peace.  Truly  she  realized 
9 


130  TELL  JESUS. 

the  promise  of  *  perfect  peace '  to  them 
who  wait  upon  Him.  I  only  saw  her  three 
or  four  times.  She  seemed  cut  down  in 
the  vigor  of  hfe  ;  but  doubtless  her  work 
was  done.  I  can  always  feel  as  regards 
her  how  truly  '  blessed  are  the  dead  that 
die  in  the  Lord ;  they  rest  from  their 
labors,  and  their  works  do  follow  them.'  ** 


CHAPTER  VI. 

DEPARTURE. 

"  And  the  glory  of  the  Lord  came  into  the  house  by  the  waf 
of  the  gate  whose  prospect  is  toward  the  east." 

EzEK.  xliii.  4. 

OD  will  not  lay  on  you  one  stroke 
more  than  you  are  able  to  bear," 
said  a  visitor  to  a  dear  child  of 
the  Father,  whom  she  was  glorifying  in 
the  fire  of  sickness  and  trial. 

She  replied,  "  I  do  not  feel  as  if  God 
were  bcatmg  me.  He  was  not  angry  when 
he  allowed  the  Israelitish  youths  to  be  cast 
into  the  fiery  furnace." 

The  bonds  and  imprisonment  of  Paul 
were  no  marks  of  displeasure  from  the 
Lord.  The  "  chosen  vessel "  was  honored 
by  suffering  great  things  for  the  name  of 
him  he  went  forth  to  preach.     Paul  and 

131 


132  TELL  JESUS. 

Silas  were  not  cast  into  prison  for  their 
own  sins,  but  for  the  salvation  of  the  jailor 
of  Philippi.  And,  surely,  when  Peter  was 
a  solitary  prisoner,  and  prayer  moved  the 
hinge  of  the  iron  gate,  he  did  not  look 
back  to  the  day  when  he  was  delivered 
into  the  hands  of  four  quaternions  of  sol- 
diers, as  if  it  had  been  a  punishment  for 
sin ! 

The  Good  Shepherd's  rod,  guiding 
Emily  into  places  and  positions  in  which 
she  might  learn  this  wilderness  experi- 
ence, which  could  not  be  learned  in  her 
home  of  light,  was  the  only  rod  that  she 
recognized.  God  is  love  ;  therefore,  all 
that  his  children  expect  is  love,  and  all 
they  receive  from  him  is  love. 

If  a  loving  father,  conscious  of  the  un- 
developed powers  of  his  son,  gives  him 
what  appears  to  the  ignorant  a  cruel  task 
to  study  it  is  not  so  to  the  son.  He  has 
learned  enough  to  be  sure  that  such  teach- 
ins:  is  needful  for  the  future  career  for 


DEPARTURE.  1 33 

which  his  father  designs  him.  For  its 
acquisition,  he  must  necessarily  forego 
many  a  mountain  ramble  and  many  a  twi- 
light wandering ;  yet  he  knows  no  good 
thing  has  his  father  withheld  from  him, 
and  that  problem  to  be  solved,  and  this 
language  to  be  learned  in  a  strange  land, 
are  among  the  ''all  things"  that  work  to- 
gether for  his  good. 

To  have  sunk  under  painless  disease,  in 
an  atmosphere  of  praise  and  joy,  would 
have  had  little  teaching  in  comparison  to 
this  solemn  season  of  almost  unmitigated 
suffering. 

At  the  word  of  the  Lord,  Emily  had 
thankfully  walked  in  the  sunshiny  paths 
telling  of  Him,  whom  to  follow  was  her 
whole  life's  glad  service  ;  and  now,  when 
he  laid  her  low  —  how  low  !  —  and  put  into 
her  hand  the  cup  mingled  with  myrrh,  in 
place  of  the  new  wine,  it  was  well  also. 

In  one  of  the  only  two  interviews  I 
had  with  her  after  her  return  home,  Emily 


134  TELL  JESUS. 

told  me  that  she  hoped,  if  her  life  should 
be  prolonged,  she  should  soon  be  accus- 
tomed to  her  sick  room,  and  her  body 
would  not  require  so  much  of  her  care. 
"  Then,"  she  added,  "  then  my  chamber 
will  be  a  little  Bethel !  " 

While  alluding  to  her  sufferings,  she 
said,  "  I  am  being  pruned  and  purged  ; 
you  will  not  think  I  am  making  much  of 
myself  when  I  say,  that  it  is  that  I  may 
bring  forth  more  fruit." 

While  I  was  writing  this,  I  received  a 
letter  from  a  dear  friend  ;  its  last  page 
is  full  of  the  subject  that  was  filling  my 
heart  as  I  recalled  the  precious  dealing  of 
a  Father's  loving  hand.  I  give  it  without 
marring  it  by  comments  of  my  own,  be- 
lieving that  it  has  its  message  to  some 
waiting  soul  —  now  willing  to  wait  and 
suffer,  where  once  it  loved  to  labor : 

"  We  may  well  b^  content  to  be  noth- 
ing, if  only  God  be  glorified.  I  have  lately 
been  led  to  look  on  affliction  as  the  purging 


DEPARTURE.  135 

process  which  is  necessary  for  the  branch 
ere  it  can  bring  forth  fruit.  There  must 
first  hcfniit  to  characterize  the  branch  as 
a  living  one  on  the  true  vine,  then  the 
purging  comes,  and,  as  a  result,  more  fruit ; 
but  it  is  the  secret  abiding  in  Him,  the 
close,  holy  fellowship  with  Jesus,  which 
produces  much  fruit  ;  and  perhaps  it  is 
oftenest  in  affliction  that  we  get  into  this 
holy  fellowship.  When  the  world  is  dark 
around  us,  then  we  have  only  his  light  to 
walk  in  ;  for  walking  in  the  light  and 
having  fellowship  are  clo§ely  connected. 
And  what  is  the  fruit  ?  Might  we  not  be 
tempted  oftentimes  to  think  much  zeal, 
activity,  and  vigor,  in  our  Master's  service  ; 
much  talking  to  others,  and  preaching, 
teaching,  and  running  about.  But  what  is 
our  Master's  estimate  of  fruit  ?  What  in 
his  sight  is  a  fruit-bearing  branch  .-'  "  Love, 
joy,  peace,  long-suffering,  gentleness,  good- 
ness, faith,  meekness,  temperance."  —  Gal. 
V.  22,  23.  —  Are  we  not  often  tempted  to 


136  TELL  JESUS. 

call  things  by  wrong  names,  and  to  take 
our  own  standard  of  things  and  bring  it 
to  God's  Word,  rather  than  to  take  God's 
standard  and  put  aside  our  own  ?  Dear, 
dear  sister,  we  shall  understand  all  by  and 
by,  all  our  Father's  dealings  with  us,  and 
then  we  shall  indeed  rejoice." 

Before  I  left  her,  Emily  asked  me  to 
repeat  my  golden  dream  once  more. 

And  this  time  her  eyes  filled  with  tears, 
and  my  own  voice  was  broken.  I  knew 
not,  though  my  heart  seemed  to  whisper, 
that  when  I  next  saw  that  pale,  emaciated 
form  she  would  be  clad  in  her  marriage 
robe,  and,  all  fresh  and  lovely  as  in  my 
heavenly  vision,  would  stand  in  the  pres- 
ence of  the  King  in  his  beauty. 

She  told  me  of  the  sympathy  for  the 
poor  and  lonely  that  her  lodgings  had 
taught  her,  though  it  always  seemed  to  me 
that  she  never  lacked  sympathy  for  any 
form  of  distress  or  suffering. 

"  How  tenderly,"  she  said,  "we  should 


DEPARTURE.  1 37 

think  of  the  sick  ;  the  disorder  of  the  sick 
room,  instead  of  exciting  blame  or  disgust, 
should  call  forth  our  pity.  Perhaps,  if 
they  have  any  one  to  care  for  them,  even 
they  may  have  many  claims  upon  them, 
and  this  I  have  learned,  with  other  things, 
here." 

Consumption  was  now  evident,  and  a 
second  physician  pronounced  that  either 
of  the  diseases  then  present  might  be  the 
immediate  cause  of  death.  No  hope  of 
recovery  was  held  forth  ;  but  no  probabil- 
ity of  a  speedy  decease  was  anticipated. 

Under  the  homoeopathic  treatment  there 
was  a  manifest  improvement,  and  it  is 
sweet  to  see  the  tender  love  of  the  Great 
Physician,  leading  these  waiting  ones  to 
such  means  as  should  now  soothe  in  some 
measure  the  shattered  nerves,  and  alleviate 
the  worst  of  her  sufferings. 

As  far  as  could  be  ascertained,  the  prog- 
ress of  the  second  cancer  was  but  tempo- 


138  TELL  JESUS. 

rarily  arrested  ;  the  restlessness  caused  by 
the  medicine  and  depression  disappeared. 
Her  cough,  however,  still  visited  her  in 
continued  paroxysms,  shaking  her  worn 
frame,  and  depriving  her  of  rest.  It  was 
seldom  that  she  obtained  more  than  half- 
an  hour's  sleep. 

"  It  had  become  evident  to  us  both," 
observes  Mr.  Gosse,  "  that  the  severance 
of  that  happy  union,  which  without  a 
single  interruption  of  its  peace  and  love 
had  been  vouchsafed  to  us  for  the  last 
eight  years,  was  an  event  not  very  far  from 
us.  We  looked  it  in  the  face ;  we  well 
knew  no  blessing,  no  strength,  was  to  be 
gained  by  concealing  it  from  ourselves  or 
from  each  other,  and  we  talked  of  it  freely. 
To  me  the  prospect  was  dark  indeed  ;  but 
to  her  death  had  no  terrors.  Our  dear 
child  she  was  able  to  leave  in  the  hands  of 
thai  loving  Lord  for  whom  she  had  trained 
him  from  earliest  infancy,  and  to  whose 
tender  care  she  now  in  tlT^^onfidence  of 


DEPARTURE.  1 39 

faith  committed  him  ;  but  her  loving  heart 
deeply  tasted  the  bitterness  of  the  cup 
which  she  saw  I  should  soon  have  to  drink. 
It  was  but  a  day  or  two  before  her  depart- 
ure that  she  said  to  me,  with  a  look  of  un- 
utterable affection,  and  with  peculiar  em- 
phasis, dwelling  on  each  precious  word, 
now  embalmed  in  my  inmost  heart, '  I  love 
you  —  better  than  on  my  wedding  day  — 
better  than  when  I  was  taken  ill  —  better 
than  when  I  came  home  from  Pimlico.' 

"  At  another  time  she  said, '  My  beloved 
Henry,  gladly  would  I  remain,  if  such 
were  the  Lord's  will,  and  be  your  compan- 
ion for  the  rest  of  your  pilgrimage  ! ' 

"  Nor  was  this  the  language  of  mere 
natural  affection,  however  tender  or  re- 
fined ;  it  was  evoked  by  that  which  in  her 
was  ever  the  master  principle,  an  earnest 
longing  after  the  spiritual  welfare  of  those 
whom  she  loved.  She  was  not  ignorant  — 
she  could  not  be  —  how  often  the  Lord 
had  used  her  unworldly  faith,  her  unselfish 


140  TELL  JESUS. 

love,  her  saintly  devotion,  her  wise  and 
godly  counsel,  to  the  promotion  of  my 
best  interests,  checking  and  counteracting 
the  earthly  tendencies  of  my  heart,  and 
its  proneness  to  love  this  present  world. 
The  faith  that  could  leave  her  child  to  the 
care  of  her  covenant  God,  could  with 
difficulty  leave  her  husband  to  the  same 
care. 

"  Another  proof  of  the  faithfulness  of 
God  in  hearing  prayer,  was  the- mitigation 
of  actual  pain  as  the  closing  scene  drew 
near.  Knowing  as  we  did  in  what  terri- 
ble agony  this  disease  often  ends,  *  *  * 
our  eyes  were  lifted  up  to  the  Lord,  that 
he  would  spare  his  child  the  depth  of  this 
affliction."  And  he  graciously  did,  al- 
though power  was  almost  lost  on  one  side, 
and  her  breathing  increasingly  oppressed. 

Amidst  the  varied  sufferings  or  discom- 
forts which  tried  her  wasted  frame,  her 
quiet,  patient  submission  to  the  will  of 
God  never  failed.     "  Throughout  her   ill- 


DEPARTURE,  14! 

ness,"  continues  Mr.  Gosse,  "  I  never 
heard  an  approach  to  a  murmur. 

"  A  week  or  two  before  her  departure, 
the  course  of  reading  in  family  worship 
brought  us  to  John  xiii.  I  had  made  a 
few  remarks  on  the  grace  of  the  Lord  in 
purging  his  own  from  defilement,  and  on 
the  various  modes  in  which  he  effects  it ; 
and  turning  to  her,  I  said,  '  Jesus  is  wash- 
ing your  feet  now,  love.' 

"  This  little  observation  was  used  to 
her  great  comfort  and  refreshment ;  and 
she  repeatedly  told  me  afterwards,  that 
thenceforth  it  became  one  of  her  favorite 
words  until  the  last ;  '  Jesus  is  washing 
my  feet ! ' 

"  The  anticipation  of  being  soon  in  the 
presence  of  the  Lord  who  had  redeemed 
her  was  delightful  to  her.  To  a  friend, 
who  called  a  few  days  before  her  depart- 
ure, she  said,  '  This  will  be  the  happiest 
year  of  my  life,  for  I  shall  see  Jesus.' 

"  At  another  time  she  said,  '  I  do  not 


"  142  TELL  JESUS. 

desire  to  die.  I  am  ready  to  go  if  the 
Lord  so  chooses,  but  I  am  willing  to  live 
longer  for  your  sake.'  I  have  already 
explained,  that  living  for  my  sake  was  in 
her  mind  only  a  phrase  for  laboring  for 
the  Lord. 

"I  said,  'Is  Jesus  precious  to  you.?' 
She  knew  I  meant  consciously,  joyously 
precious. 

"She  replied,  'I  cannot  say  that;  I 
have  not  the  joys  I  expected  ;  1 7'est  upon 
his  word,  his  inspiration.' 

"  It  had  been  a  favorite  thought  of  hers, 
that  the  saints  of  God  are  in  their  last 
moments  often  favored  with  sights  and 
sounds  that  belong  to  the  world  they  are 
approaching. 

"  In  some  descriptions  of  happy  death- 
beds such  are  not*unfrequently  spoken  of. 
I  think  that  they  rested  a  good  deal  on 
her  mind,  and  that  she  in  some  measure 
hoped  they  would  be  vouchsafed  to  herself. 
But  may  I  not  affirm  that  God  gave  her 


DEPARTURE.  I43 

a  better  thing?  For  surely  it  was  a 
nobler  testimony  that  she  could  calmly 
face  death,  '  resting  on  his  word,  his  inspi- 
ration,' than  any  that  she  might  have  giv- 
en respecting  the  most  rapturous  sensible 
manifestations.  Like  the  old  worthies 
'  witnessed  unto '  by  the  Holy  Ghost,  she 
'  died  in  faith.' 

"  I  have  since  thought  that  the  Lord  in- 
tended her  a  special  honor  in  thus  calling 
her  to  go  out  of  the  world  without  any 
sensible  joy,  resting  on  his  Word  alone. 

"  If  there  was  one  principle  that,  more 
than  all  besides,  she  had  insisted  on  in 
her  Gospel  tracts,  it  was  this  —  That  it  is 
the  part  of  faith  not  to  seek  for  evidence 
from  feelings,  fruits,  or  anything  within, 
but  simply  to  take  the  naked  Word  of 
God. 

"  This  is  strongly  brought  out  by  her  in 
her  tracts  — '  John  Clarke,' '  John  Clarke's 
Wife,'  '  The  Old  Soldier's  Widow,'  etc. 

"  She  had  strongly  taught,  that  in  the 


144  TELL  JESUS. 

matter  of  salvation,  God's  simple  'yea* 
and  'amen'  is  a  rock  stable  enough  to 
stand  on,  without  any  support  besides. 
He  chose  that  she  should  give  a  dying 
testimony  to  the  same  truth ;  that  she 
should  herself  be  testimony  ;  that  she 
should  herself  be  content  to  pass  into 
eternity,  with  no  other  support  than  the 
Word  of '  the  unlying  God.'  " 

Nor  was  hers  a  singular  case.  Many 
who  have  walked  in  the  full  light  of  God's 
smile,  witnessing  for  him  through  a  life- 
time devoted  to  his  service,  and  in  sweet 
communion  with  the  heavenly  Three  in 
One,  have,  during  the  last  scene,  by  the 
absence  of  all  joyous  feelings,  been  called 
to  a  yet  deeper  experience  than  they  have 
ever  known  of  simple  faith  and  trust  in 
the  word  and  promise  of  that  living  God, 
whom,  net  seeing,  they  still  love.  We  all 
can  testify,  who  have  walked  in  the  light, 
that  to  bask  on  the  mountain  top,  in  the 
sensible  presence  of  Jesus,  may  well  en- 


DEP.iRTURE.  1 45 

able  us  to  breast  the  stormy  billows.  But 
to  believe  that  he  is  with  us,  though  we 
cannot  see  his  face  ;  to  know  that  he  is 
our  own  Jesus,  the  same  in  the  darkest 
valley  as  on  the  Mount  of  Transfiguration, 
is  a  far  higher  exercise  of  faith.  The  day's 
testimony  has  proclaimed,  "  I  am  his,  and 
he  is  mine,"  and  the  setting  life  sinks 
peacefully  to  rest  on,  "  /  know  whom  I  have 
believed." 

"On  Saturday,  the  7th  of  February," 
again  observes  her  husband,  "  it  became 
evident  that  the  parting  scene  could  not 
be  delayed  ;  she  gave  me  her  dying  coun- 
sels, expressed  her  wishes  concerning  our 
child,  dictated  a  long  catalogue  of  friends 
to  whom  the  fact  of  her  death  was  to  be 
communicated,  and  set  her  house  in  order. 

"  In  solemnly  reviewing  the  history  of 
our  married  life,  she  spoke  of  the  princi- 
ples by  which  she  had  striven  to  walk,  and 
ended  with  the  following  words  :  '  I  feel 
that,  be  it  much  or  little,  I  have  finished 


146  TELL  JESUS. 

my  course.  I  have  loved  the  Lord  and 
his  work ;  and  my  only  thought,  if  he 
were  to  give  me  another  twelvemonth  of 
life,  would  be,  that  I  might  labor  a  little 
more  for  him.' 


"  Her  last  day  on  earth  was  now  come. 
It  was  one  of  brilliant  sunshine,  —  a  lovely 
day  for  mid-winter.  We  had  moved  her 
to  her  couch  toward  the  window,  and  as 
the  bright  sunlight  streamed  upon  her 
countenance,  we  little  thought  she  would 
see  that  sun  no  more.  As  she  lay  still, 
she  said,  '  I  shall  see  his  bright  face,  and 
shall  shine  in  his  brightness,  and  shall 
sing  his  praise  in  strains  never  uttered 
below.' 


**  As  night  drew  on,  a  change  became 


DEPARTURE.  I 47 

manifest.  Soon  after  eight  o'clock  she 
experienced  a  partial  paralysis  of  the 
tongue,  so  that  speech  was  scarcely  in- 
telligible. In  allusion  to  this,  and  dread- 
ing that  she  might  linger  some  time  with- 
out the  power  of  speech,  she  said,  *  The 
Lord  has  hitherto  raised  me  up  above  cir- 
cumstances. He  has  made  me  to  ride 
upon  the  high  places  of  the  earth,  and  now 
he  has  brought  me  down,  and  now  he  has 
made  me  to  fear.' 

" '  Fear  what,  my  darling  ? '  I  asked. 

" '  Paralysis.' 

"  Presently  she  said,  '  'Tis  a  pleasant 
way  —  more  pleasant  than  when  I  could 
not  pray  for  what  would  make  you  un- 
happy.' I  suppose  she  referred  to  the 
circumstance,  that  within  the  last  day  or 
two  I  had  been  able  solemnly  to  resign  her 
into  the  hands  of  Him  who,  for  a  season, 
had  lent  her  to  me,  and  who  now  reclaimed 
his  loan. 

"  She  looked  on  us  hanging  over  her, 


148  TELL  JESUS. 

and  said,  as  if  the  thought  of  eternal  union 
were  delightful  to  her,  '  One  family,  one 
song ! ' 

"  At  times  she  fell  into  momentary  ■ 
slumbers,  and  though  her  speech  was  not 
altogether  intelligible,  yet  it  was  ever  of 
him  whose  '  best  wine  for  his  beloved 
goeth  down  sweetly,  causing  the  lips  of 
those  that  are  asleep  to  speak.'  In  one 
of  these  murmurings  I  made  out  the  words, 
'  Open  the  gates  ;  open  the  gates,  and  let 
me  in.'  Ah !  the  blessed  of  the  Lord 
had  not  much  longer  to  stand  without. 

"  I  spoke  to  her  of  the  freeness  of  gos- 
pel grace,  which  she  had  proclaimed  so 
fully  ;  she  replied  : 

"  '  I  see  it' 

"  *  See  what,  love  ? '  I  asked. 

" '  I  see  the  freeness  of  gospel  grace 
that  I  have  set  before*  others,  but  in  ex- 
treme weakness  ;  immediately  adding,  lest 
the  expression  should  be  misunderstood 


DEPAHTIJKF,.  I49 

as  meaning  dimness  of  apprehension  of 
the  truth,  '  In  extreme  weakness  of  body* 

"  She  murmured,  *  I  am  going  home  ;  I 
must  go  home.' 

"  *  Yes,'  I  replied,  '  what  a  blessing  that 
you  have  a  home  to  go  to ! ' 

"  She  immediately  added,  almost  inartic- 
ulately, 'And  a  hearty  welcome.'  This 
was  in  allusion  to  one  of  her  last  tracts, 
which  in  manuscript  hadL  been  entitled, 
*  A  Home  and  a  Hearty  Welcome.' 

"After  a  while  our  precious  sufferer 
said,  '  I  shall  walk  with  him  in  white ; 
won't  you  take  your  Iamb  and  walk  with 
me?' 

"  This  she  repeated  twice  or  thrice,  as 
she  saw  I  did  not  readily  catch  her  mean- 
ing. I  believe,  however,  she  alluded  to 
our  dear  child." 

Her  eyes,  now  dim  with  the  shadow  of 
death,  turned  upon  her  husband,  who  was 
hanging  over  her,  and  addressing  him  by 


150  TELL  JESUS. 

the  old  endearing  name,  she  said,  "  Dear 
papa,  I'm  all  ready." 

"  What  has  made  you  ready  ? "  he  in- 
quired. 

" '  The  blood  ! '  Then  she  added,  '  The 
blood  of  the  Lamb' 

"  This  precious  testimony  was  the  last 
sentence  that  issued  from  her  lips.  It 
had  been  her  joy  in  life  to  proclaim  the 
sufficiency  of  that  blood,  and  now  she 
died  on  it." 

She  noticed  nothing  more,  and  exactly 
as  the  hour  proclaimed  a  new  day  dawn- 
ing, a  brighter  one  broke  upon  her  vision. 
One  long-drawn  sigh,  and  the  happy  spirit 
had  entered  the  gate.  Then,  kneeling 
round,  the  watchers  of  that  bed  of  suffer- 
ing gave  thanks,  amid  sobs  and  tears,  for 
her  peaceful  admission  into  her  happy 
home. 

Abney  Park  Cemetery  was  chosen  as 
the  place  for  the  deposit  of  her  dust,  there 


DEPARTURE.  1 5  1 

to  rest  until  the  approaching  manifesta- 
tion of  the  sons  of  God.  Then  she  shall 
rise  to  meet  her  Lord,  renewed  in  resur- 
rection power  and  beauty,  changed  into 
his  likeness  whose  glory  was  precious  to 
her  soul. 

On  Friday,  the  13th  of  February,  1857, 
"  they  took  up  the  body  and  buried  it,  and 
went  and  told  Jesus." 

A  plain  stone,  under  the  shadow  of  a 
lofty  elm,  bears  the  following  words  : 

THE   DUST   OF 

EMILY    GOSSE, 

WHO   SLEPT   IN  JESUS 

Feb.  9th,  1857, 

WAITS  HERE  THE  MORNING 
OF  THE 

FIRST    RESURRECTION, 

How  can  I  close  these  pages,  that  may 
fall  beneath  the  eye  of  the  careless,  the 
scoffer,  the  unsaved  ?     I  am  humbled  to 


152  TELL -JESUS. 

think  how  my  own  soul  has  been  fed  with 
those  words  which  to  them  mast  be  a 
strange  speech. 

This  Friend,  this  Elder  Brother  of  his 
Father's  redeemed  family,  is  the  Friend 
of  sinners.  Sinner,  he  has  died  for  you. 
Behold  his  hands  and  his  feet !  But  you 
are  blind  and  cannot  see  him  ;  you  cannot 
trace  him  in  his  providence,  nor  adore  him 
in  his  work.  Neither  has  affliction  its 
blessings,  nor  is  death  the  herald  of  the 
King  of  Peace  to  you. 

Oh  !  will  you  not  come  to  him,  that  you 
may  receive  your  sight?  To-day,  even 
to-day,  the  Son  of  God  is  passing  by.  It 
is  the  Good  Physician,  Jesus  of  Nazareth. 
He  saith  unto  you,  "  What  wouldest  thou 
that  I  should  do  unto  thee  ? "  Oh !  tell 
Jesus. 


THTC    LOVING   CUP.  I  53 


THE  LOVING  CUP. 

"Tic  cup  which  my  Father  hath  g-iven  me,  shall  I  not  drink 
it?" — John  xviii.  11. 

Come,  drink  ye,  drink  ye  all  of  it. 

Pale  children  of  a  King; 
No  poison  mingles  in  the  draught, 

So,  while  ye  suffer,  sing. 
'Tis  Love's  own  Life  hath  won  it  ua, 

Christ's  lip  hath  pressed  the  brim: 
Come,  drink  ye,  drink  ye  all  of  it. 

In  fellowship  with  him! 

Oh !  shun  not  thou  the  loving  cup. 

Nor  tremble  at  its  hue  ; 
There  is  no  bitter  in  the  bowl, 

But  Jesus  drank  it  too. 
He  counts  tliy  tears,  and  knows  thy  pain, 

Yea,  every  woe  is  weighed ; 
And  not  a  cross  he  bids  thee  bear, 

Bat  once  on  him  was  laid. 


154  .     TELL   lESUS. 

Come,  drink  ye  of  the  loving  cup  I 

Thou  wouldst  not  pass  it  by  ? 
'Tis  kept  for  every  chosen  one 

Of  God's  dear  family. 
Nor,  unbelieving,  turn  aside  ; 

Thy  Lord  the  cup  bestows  : 
And  oh  !  his  face,  above  thee  bent. 

With  love  and  pity  glows. 

Those  hands,  once  bleeding  on  the  crosi. 

Are  now  outstretched  to  bless, 
He  draws  thee  closer  to  his  heart 

For  that  cup's  bitterness  : 
He  hears  thy  faintly-sobbing  breath, 

He  marks  each  quivering  limb ; 
He  drank  it  once  for  thee  alone  — 

Child !  drink  it  now  with  him. 

Let  earth  bring  forth  its  bitter  herbs. 

Soon  all  their  power  shall  cease; 
Come  tribulation,  if  it  will, 

With  Christ's  abiding  peace. 
I  take  the  cup  —  the  loving  cup, 

Thrice  blessed  shall  it  be ; 
I  would  not  miss  one  gift,  O  Lord, 

Thy  blood  hath  bought  for  me. 


THE 


SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 


BY 


ANNA     SHIPTON, 

AUTHOR    OF    "TELL    JESUS,"    "THE   WATCH    TOWER,' 

"WAYSIDE  SERVICE,"   "THE   LOST   BLESSING," 

ETC.,    ETC. 


NEW   YORK: 
PUBLISHED   BY   T.    Y.   CROWELL, 

744   BROADWAY. 


llOl  the  Lord,  the  true  God,  the  living  God, 
the  everlasting  King,  I  commit  this  fee- 
ble effort  to  show  forth  his  praise.  May 
he  who  giveth  life  to  the  dead,  and  taketh 
note  of  the  fall  of  a  sparrow,  give  life,  and 
speech,  and  blessing,  to  the  following  simple 
pages. 

All  that  is  of  himself  shall  live.  May  all 
that  is  not  according  to  the  mind  of  the  Spirit 
be  blotted  out  in  the  precious  blood  of  the 
Lamb  slain, 

For  Jesus'  sake, 

Amen". 


CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  L                                       PAGE 
The  Raven's  Cry 7 

CHAPTER  II. 
WALKING  WITH  GOD 21 

[CHAPTER  III. 
Leaning  on  Jesus 52 

CHAPTER  IV. 
Fellowship 75 

CHAPTER  V. 
THE  Witness  of  the  Spirit 93 

CHAPTER  VI. 
Desekt  Places 114 

CHAPTER  VII. 
The  Way  of  the  Lord 150 

CHAPTER  VIII. 
The  Sympathy  of  Jesus 186 

CHAPTER  IX. 
The  Great  Adversary 209 

CHAPTER  X. 

Testimony 220 


5 


The  Secret  of  the  Lord. 


CHAPTER    I. 

THE  BA yen's   CRY. 

ne  giveth  to  the  beast  his  food,  and  to  the  young  ravens  which 
cry.— PsA.  cxlvii.  9. 

"^^i^I-r  God  will  not  help  me,  no  one  else  can," 


\ 


The  words  were  spoken  almost  despair- 
^  ingly  by  a  pale,  sad-faced  child,  about 
five  years  of  age.  A  fruitless  search  for  some 
lost  possession  had  left  her  overwhelmed  with 
sorrow.  She  sat  alone  upon  the  ground,  and 
gazed  on  the  heavy  clouds  that  crossed  the 
sky  in  the  dim  autumn  twilight.  Having  no 
one  below  to  sympatliize  in  her  distress,  she 
looked  for  the  fust  time  from  earth  to  heaven, 
experimentally  learning,  "  Vain  is  the  help  of 


man." 


The  child  had  lost  a  treasure,  and  children's 


8  THE   SECRET   OF   THE  LORD. 

treasures  are  precious,  and  children's  griefs  are 
sharp. 

The  loss  comprised  a  lock  of  her  dead  moth- 
er's hair.  She  had  worn  the  locket  containing 
it  ever  since  the  day  she  could  remember  any- 
thing. Nightly  she  was  expected  to  place 
this  on  her  table,  that  it  might  be  seen  that 
it  was  safe.  She  had  neglected  to  do  so,  and 
now  it  was  gone,  —  how  or  where  she  knew 
not  —  and  the  child  wept. 

It  was  not  for  the  ornament,  nor  yet  for  her 
disobedience,  but  for  the  loss  of  that  brown 
braid  of  glossy  hair  in  the  tiny  casket  —  the 
child's  wealth. 

She  knew  that  the  locket  would  be  missed 
from  her  neck,  and  that  she  would  be  pun- 
ished ;  but  what  punishment  could  exceed  that 
silent,  unshared  sorrow  ?  The  joy  of  her  life 
had  departed;  and  though  careless  eyes  ob- 
served that  she  did  not  eat,  none  remarked 
her  sad  face,  or  the  absence  of  the  chain. 

"  I  wish  it  was  Sunday,"  said  the  child.  "  I 
could  go  to  church ;  perhaps  God  would  hear 
me  therey 


THE  raven's   cry. 


The  child  did  not  know  that  God's  house  is 
not  made  with  liands,  and  that  he  is  every- 
where nigh  to  all  that  call  upon  him.  This 
was  Friday,  and  two  long  days  must  intervene 
before  she  could  make  her  request  known  to 
him  in  church.  The  longest  day  however 
has  an  end,  and  Sunday  came  at  length. 
Kneeling  in  the  extreme  corner  of  the  pew, 
with  her  face  to  the  wall,  observed  by  none 
but  God,  she  told  over  the  petition  with  which 
her  heart  was  ready  to  burst,  and  ended  as 
she  began :  "  If  you  do  not  help  me,  no  one 
else  can."  So  she  begged  him  to  send  her 
back  her  lost  locket,  for  he  alone  knew  where 
it  was.  When  her  prayer  was  over,  a  strange 
peace  fell  on  the  heart  of  the  little  suppliant. 
She  did  not  question  that  her  voice  had 
reached  the  ear  of  the  Most  High,  who  rules 
the  world. 

Yes !  gracious  and  Almighty  God,  Father  of 
the  fatherless,  as  one  whom  his  mother  com- 
forteth,  so  didst  thou  comfort  her.  Thou  wert 
worldng  for  the  desolate  little  one. 

When   she  returned  home,  the  sun  shone 


10       THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LOED. 

brightly  in  lier  nursery,  and  glittered  on  the 
golden  chain.  Hastily  she  opened  her  casket 
and  found  her  treasure  safe.  But  she  did  not 
praise  him  who  had  heard  her  cry.  Only  the 
soul  that  knows  salvation  tlirough  the  Lamb 
slain  can  praise. 

The  power  of  the  Lord  had  wrought  on  the 
conscience  of  the  thief  to  restore  the  stolen 
article,  and  it  was  not  until  thirty  years  after- 
wards that  the  culprit  was  known. 

Dear  reader,  that  child  now  records  the  first 
remembered  token  of  a  loving  Father's  care 
over  a  fellow-sinner,  who  by  his  grace  would 
commune  with  thee  by  the  way.  In  conscious 
helplessness  I  cast  myself  upon  Him,  who  has 
redeemed  me  from  death  and  hell,  and  I  would 
show  forth  his  praise.  INIy  cry  is  still,  "  If 
thou  wilt  not  help  me,  no  one  else  can  !  " 

I  know  not  how  far  this  early  evidence  of  a 
loving  Father's  care  influenced  my  soul.  Cer- 
tain I  am,  that  since  I  have  known  him  as  my 
Redeemer  and  Lord,  it  has  often  made  me 
ashamed  to  lack  the  simple  faith  of  a  child. 
Through  long  years  of  sin  and  ignorance  the 


THE   raven's    cry.  11 

remembrance  of  the  recovery  of  my  lost  chain 
has  made  me  realize  anew  that  God,  who  feed- 
eth  the  young  ravens  when  they  cry,  will  much 
more  care  for  the  soul  that  calleth  upon  him. 

Since  he  gave  me  eyes  to  see  him,  daily 
have  I  been  proving  his  wondrous  power  and 
willingness  to  help  me.  And  yet,  even  when 
he  has  reminded  me,  "  All  power  is  given  unto 
me  in  heaven  and  on  earth,"  I  have  fallen  back 
upon  m}'  own  miserable  plans  and  natural  un- 
derstanding, as  if  I  had  not  again  and  again 
proved  that  I  had  infinite  wisdom  and  power 
to  draw  from. 

It  is  written,  "  When  the  Son  of  man  com- 
eth,  shall  he  find  faith  on  the  earth?"  He 
will  find  works,  abounding  works,  of  the  nat- 
m-al  heart,  in  which  he  has  no  part  as  the 
author,  or  counselor,  or  partner;  but  of  the 
faith  that  lives  in  him,  watches  for  him,  waits 
for  him,  follows  him,  —  how  little  ! 

And  yet  Jesus  died  to  bring  us  near  to  the 
Father,  that  we  might  walk  with  him,  thus  re- 
storing the  heavenly  communion  which  Adam's 
sin  had  invested  with  terror  and  shame.     The 


12       THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

daily  intercourse  of  confidential  affection  calls 
for  no  preliminary  ceremony.  Communion 
does  not  consist  in  a  mere  narration  of  wants 
or  confession  of  failure.  It  is  an  interchanse 
of  mind,  a  giving  forth  and  receiving.  Neither 
are  there  any  formal  preparations  to  be  gone 
through,  nor  set  phrases  to  be  uttered,  before 
we  acknowledge  his  abiding  presence.  "  The 
secret  of  the  Lord"  has  been  well  described 
as  "  that  pecidiar  presence  of  God  which  is  the 
secret  of  his  people,  with  the  assurance  that 
they  are  his."  Who  that  has  known  this 
"  secret "  has  not  thirsted  for  deeper  and  fuller 
revelations  of  himself?  He  has  been  found 
of  them  while  waiting  in  the  sanctuary  and 
watching  by  the  way. 

It  was  the  living  God,  of  whom  I  read  in 
the  Scriptures,  that  my  soul  longed  to  know. 
Seeking  Jesus,  my  weary  heart  turned  away 
from  what  was  offered  me  instead :  and  I  shall 
forever  praise  him  for  the  sorrow,  and  sickness, 
and  trial,  which  have  beset  my  path;  since 
thus,  and  thus  only,  have  I  known  that  all 
other  refuges  are  vain.    Often  have  I  retm^ned 


THE  raven's   CRT.  V6 

to  my  first  childisli  prayer:  "If  you  do  not 
help  me,  no  one  else  can  !  "  I  have  thus  learned 
to  love  the  cross  ere  it  has  been  removed,  so 
many  Peniels  has  it  marked  on  my  otherwise 
toilsome  way. 

When  I  am  told  that  the  desire  of  intimacj» 
with  my  risen  Lord  is  irreverent  and  unnat- 
ural, I  test  the  foolishness  of  man  by  the  wis- 
dom of  God.  "  The  natural  man  receiveth 
not  the  things  of  the  Spirit  of  God ;  for  they 
are  foolishness  unto  him  ;  neither  can  he  know 
them,  because  they  are  spiritually  discerned." 
1  Cor.  ii.  14.  "  Henceforth  I  call  you  not 
servants ;  for  the  servant  knoweth  not  what 
his  Lord  doeth:  but  I  have  called  yowfriends.''^ 
"  If  a  man  love  mc  he  will  keep  my  words ; 
and  my  Father  will  love  him,  and  we  will 
come  unto  him,  and  make  our  abode  with 
him."     John  xv.  15  ;  xiv.  23. 

Shall  we  read  these  gracious  promises  as  if 
they  were  merely  forms  of  speech,  and  treat 
the  Lord  of  Life  as  if  he  were  a  wavfaring: 
man  who  tarries  for  a  night  ?  Is  he  not  the 
light  and  center  of  that  temple  in  which  he 


14  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

has  takeu  up  his  abode  ?  Shall  he  be  sought 
for  in  special  emergencies  when  other  help 
fails,  while  the  flesh,  in  which  dwelleth  no 
good  thing,  regards  ordinary  times  and  events 
as  those  with  which  the  God  who  appointed 
them  has  nothing  to  do  ? 

Each  trial  of  our  faith  hath  its  commission 
from  the  Father  of  spirits :  in  the  end  it  will 
speak ;  if  it  tarry,  wait  for  it.  The  heavenly 
Master  has  still  his  eye  upon  liis  weary  follow- 
ers toiling  in  rowing,  and  each  wave  of  cir- 
cumstance bears  him  on  its  crest.  Listen ! 
His  voice  is  in  the  storm ;  and  believe  that 
each  billow  is  appointed  by  the  Lord,  whom 
winds  and  waves  obey:  "  It  is  I,  be  not  afraid." 

We  are  not  required  to  live  above  circum- 
stances ;  they  are  assigned  to  us  that  we  may 
obtain  therein  a  deeper  experience  of  the  love 
and  wisdom  of  Him  to  whom  all  power  is 
given  in  heaven  and  on  earth. 

The  encouraging  "  Fear  nots !  "  with  wliich 
the  Holy  Scriptures  abound,  promise  us  help 
and  companionship  through  the  rivers,  not  above 
them;  safety  in  the  fires,  not escape/rc; ;J2  them: 


THE  EAVEN's   cry.  16 

that  we  may  behold  his  way  in  the  sea,  and 
his  path  in  the  mighty  waters ;  that  the  Fathei 
may  be  glorified  in  the  life  of  Christ  mani- 
fested in  us  by  the  Holy  Ghost. 

If  the  eye  of  faith  is  withdrawn  from  Christ 
crucified,  be  assured  that  how  much  soever  of 
theoretical  and  doctrinal  knowledge  we  may 
possess,  and  however  fervent  the  aspiration 
and  utterance  of  religious  sentiment  may  be, 
we  shall  be  barren  and  unfruitful,  and  fail  of 
the  light  of  the  knowledge  of  the  glory  of  God 
in  the  face  of  Jesus  Christ. 

It  is  the  Spirit's  presence  in  us  that  tells 
whence  our  life  springs.  Whether  in  the  ware- 
house or  the  shop,  in  the  poorest  hovel  or  in 
the  mansion  of  the  rich  and  noble,  the  child  of 
God  is  called  to  witness  for  him.  The  power 
of  testimony  that  one  solitary  soul  may  possess 
will  carry  its  influence  through  time  and  eter- 
nity. "  The  Lord  hath  set  apart  him  that  is 
godly  for  liimself :  the  Lord  will  hear  when 
he  calleth  unto  him."  "  I  have  declared,  and 
have  saved,  and  I  have  showed,  when  there 
was  no  strange  god  among  you  :  therefore  ye 


16  THE   SECRET   01    THE   LOED. 

are  my  witnesses,  saith  the  Lord,  that  I  am 
God."  Psalm  iv.  3 ;  Isaiah  xliii.  12. 

The  coast  of  Cornwall,  particularly  in  and 
near  Mount's  Bay,  is  visited  by  the  warm 
Gulf-stream,  which  is  the  secret -of  its  health- 
ful temperature.  There  is  little  alternation 
in  the  atmosphere  by  day  or  night.  There  is 
not  much  information  to  be  obtained  concern- 
ing this  interesting  phenomenon,  but  the  in- 
fluence i^felt  and  seen,  though  the  Gulf-stream 
itself  is  flowing  unseen  in  the  ocean,  separated 
in  a  manner  from  the  deep  waters,  through 
which  it  passes  without  mingling.  The  lands 
it  visits  are  warmed  by  it ;  the  air  above  and 
in  its  vicinity,  is  soft  and  balmy ;  exotics  seen 
nowhere  else  in  England  flourish  in  its  neigh- 
borhood, and  many  an  early  blossom  is  put 
forth  before  the  winter  has  elsewhere  departed. 
In  the  caves  of  the  rochs,  and  occasionally  in 
some  places  of  the  coast,  its  presence  is  linown 
by  the  rare  and  beautiful  shells,  which,  carried 
safely  by  the  current  through  the  ocean,  are 
left  as  the  productions  of  a  distant  shore,  and 
tell  whence  the  stream  flowed. 


THE  raven's   cry.  17 

As  I  felt  the  soft  influence  of  this  genial 
stream  in  the  months  of  early  spring,  it  never 
failed  to  remind  me  of  the  hidden  life  in  Christ 
—  the  positive  blessing  floAving  from  the  full- 
ness of  the  Spirit  in  the  soul  of  a  child  of  the 
light,  dwelling  in  this  ungodly  world  —  a  con- 
tinual contrast  to  that  negative  Christianity, 
which  lives  only  on  the  lips  of  formal  profes- 
sors, bringing  neither  warmth  nor  blessing  to 
themselves,  nor  light  nor  gladness  to  others. 

"  The  secret  of  the  Lord  is  with  them  that 
fear  him,  and  he  will  show  them  his  covenant." 
The  worldling  has  no  part  nor  lot  in  this  prom- 
ise. It  is  yours^  child  of  God,  to  whom  I  write, 
saved  and  separated  from  a  world  lying  in 
wickedness.  Can  you  be  content  to  walk  in 
your  l)lindiicss,  in  paths  everywhere  beset  with 
danger,  without  heavenly  counsel  and  com- 
panionship ?  Can  you  endure  the  benumbing 
cares  of  life  without  carrying  them  separately 
to  the  mighty  counselor,  that  common  things 
may  be  cleansed  and  sanctified  to  his  service  ? 
For  if  there  is  any  matter  of  which  it  can  be 
said,  "I  cannot  ask  the  blessing  of  God  on 


18  THE   SECRET   OF   THE  LORD. 

this,"  tlien  neither  ought  it  to  be  an  occupa- 
tion in  which  his  follower  should  be  found. 

Search  the  Scriptures ;  they  testify  of  him 
with  whom  I  pray  you  to  walk  a  day's  jour- 
ney. Be  assured,  if  your  heart  burn  within 
you,  that  the  Son  of  man  has  made  one  of  our 
company.  May  God  the  Holy  Ghost  reveal 
him  more  and  more  to  his  waiting  people,  and 
open  their  understanding,  that  they  may  know 
Jesus :  then  will  they  surely  seek  their  breth- 
ren, and  tell  what  things  were  done  in  the 
way. 

Let  the  perplexed  and  dispirited  traveler  eat 
of  the  bread  that  cometh  down  from  heaven ; 
the  Lord  shall  be  known  in  the  breaking  there- 
of. Strengthened  in  his  strength,  he  shall 
realize  the  promise  of  the  Father,  and  rejoice 
in  the  assurance  of  him  who  cannot  lie  :  "  Lo, 
I  am  with  you  alway,  even  unto  the  end  of 
the  world."  Matt,  xxviii.  20.  INIay  it  be  said, 
"And  it  came  to  pass,  that  while  they  commun- 
ed together  and  reasoned,  Jesus  himself  drew 
near,  and  went  with  them."  Luke  xxiv.  15, 


THE  B  A  yen's   CRY.       •  19 

THE  SOUL'S  PETITION. 
•*  Ask,  and  it  shall  be  given  you."— Matt.  vii.  y. 

Oh  for  a  priceless  crown  of  stars 

To  cast  before  the  throne, 
And  a  seraph's  voice  of  melody 

To  tell  what  grace  hath  done; 
To  sing  thy  praise,  O  Lamb  of  God, 

Who  for  tlie  sinner  died; 
To  tell  the  love  of  him  once  slain  — 

Jesus,  the  Crucified. 

Grant,  Lord,  unto  this  longing  heart 

Thy  bloud  hatli  washed  from  sin, 
To  image  back  thy  holiness, 

As  tliou  dost  dwell  within. 
Give  me  a  will  subdued  and  meek, 

Obedient  to  tliy  Word, 
To  prove  tlie  uiiglit  of  him  who  lives  — 

Jesus,  my  risen  Lord. 

Give  to  my  liand  a  heavenly  heart, 

To  hymn  thy  matchless  worth, 
To  echo  o'er  the  sea  of  glass, 

While  waiting  still  on  earth: 
Cause  it  to  break  tlie  sleeper's  dreamy 

And  downcast  spirits  cheer; 
And  to  tliy  watching  people  tell. 

The  Bridegroom  draweth  near. 

Give,  Lord,  — I  ask  it  from  thy  grace,— 

The  heart,  the  harp,  the  crown; 
I  ask  them  for  thy  service  here, 

And  all  shall  bo  thine  own. 
1  bless  tlu'o  for  thy  love's  sweet  seal. 

And  nouglil  thy  love  can  sever; 
Lortl,  lead  nie  on  from  strength  to  streng^ 

To  follow  tliee  for  ever. 


20      THE  SECKET  OF  THE  LORD. 


CHAPTER    II. 

WALKING  WITH   GOD. 

H  we  live  in  the  Spirit,  let  us  also  walk  in  tlie  Spirit. 
GAli.  V.  25. 

"  J||AN  two  walk  together  except  tliey  be 
"^i  agreed?"  Can  "lovers  of  their  own- 
^i  selves,  covetous,  boasters,  lovers  of  pleas- 
ures more  than  lovers  of  God,  having  a  form 
of  godliness,  but  denying  the  power  thereof," 
have  fellowship  with  him? 

The  old  Adam  can  never  be  made  better ; 
there  is  no  promise  for  that^  though  its  mani- 
festations may  differ.  Man  may  adorn  it  and 
cultivate  it  as  he  will,  but  its  most  admired 
acts  are  glittering  sins.  It  is  the  devil's  plan- 
tation, Mark  vii.  21 ;  the  fairest  and  the  dead- 
liest fruit  that  thrives  there,  the  wild  and  pois- 
onous grape,  is  the  form  of  godliness  without 
the  power. 

Flesh  and  blood  cannot  inherit  the  kingdom 


WALKING   WITH   GOD.  21 

of  God,  nor  can  the  natural  heart  have  (;om- 
munion  with  the  Holy  One.  The  glory  of 
grass  may  be  beautiful  to  the  eye,  but  it  is 
still  grass,  and  will  be  burnt  up.  "All  flesh 
is  not  the  same  flesh  :  but  there  is  one  kind  of 
flesh  of  men,  and  another  flesh  of  beasts,  and 
another  of  fishes,  and  another  of  birds.  '  Many 
forms  appear  so  gracious  in  their  humanities 
that  we  admire  them ;  while  we  shun  others, 
repulsed  by  their  coarseness.  Some,  fair  and 
alluring,  appear  to  soar  above  the  earth,  and 
others  less  prominent  seem  harmless  and  silent. 
We  are  prone  to  forget  that  the  fairest  only 
resemble  what  is  acceptable  to  God,  and  that 
the  goodliness  thereof  is  as  the  flower  of  the 
field.  All  the  natural  wisdom  and  sagacity  of 
man  have  never  done  anything  for  the  king- 
dom of  grace. 

From  careful  calculation  astronomers  have 
foretold  the  comet  which  appears  in  due  season, 
and  by  diligent  investigation  of  the  heavens, 
have  discovered  new  planets  in  our  hemis- 
phere. Columbus,  by  his  observation  of  the 
weeds  borne  on  the  bosom  of  the  western  wave, 


22      THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

was  led  to  reflect  on  tlie  probable  position  of 
the  land  which  he  afterwards  discovered.  But 
neither  the  contemplation  of  the  heavenly 
bodies,  nor  the  discovery  of  a  new  world  of 
land  and  water,  can  bring  the  soul  into  the 
experience  of  spiritual  life,  nor  open  to  it  the 
mysteries  of  grace  in  the  eternal  kingdom. 
"  Let  no  man  deceive  himself.  If  any  man 
among  you  seemeth  to  be  wise  in  this  world, 
let  him  become  a  fool,  that  he  may  be  wise." 
1  Cor.  iii.  18. 

The  old  creation  lies  beneath  the  curse,  and 
is  condemned  already.  The  new  creation  bom 
of  the  Holy  spirit,  involves  a  new  life,  a  new 
aim,  a  new  object.  None  but  those  in  whom 
he  dwells  can  understand  that  it  is  by  his 
power  alone  that  they  can  know  God,  walk 
with  him  here,  and  live  with  him  eternally. 
The  babe  must  first  know  him  with  whom  he 
would  walk ;  he  requires  food  that  he  may 
grow,  and  the  due  exercise  of  his  spiritual  fac- 
ulties is  necessary,  in  order  that  he  may  respond 
to  the  voice  of  him  who  calls  him  to  follow 
him.     Tt.e  giver  of  life  is  the  giver  of  grace : 


WALKING  WITH  GOD.  23 

from  him  alone  is  dciivcd  the  appetite  for  the 
hidden  manna,  and  the  spiritual  thirst  which 
can  onY  be  satisfied  by  the  waters  of  life ;  and 
this  m  ast  be  received  before  the  living  waters 
can  flow  from  the  regenerated  heart  to  others. 
Jolin  iv.  14. 

The  Lord  does  not  delight  in  a  cistern  or  in 
a  stagnant  pool,  but  in  a  channel  for  life-giving 
streams.  John  vii.  38.  To  follow  the  Lord 
then,  we  need  to  know  him,(Jer.  xxiv.  7)  to 
laiow  him  is  to  love  him.  I  must  have  open 
ears  to  hear  him  in  his  Word,  and  in  the  way. 
Isa.  XXX.  21.  I  must  have  open  eyes  to  behold 
him  in  his  providence,  and  in  his  dealings 
with  me.  Nay,  I  must  perceive  him  in  cir- 
cumstances and  in  places  where  the  wise  man 
of  the  world  can  see  nothing,  or  at  most  blind 
chance.  And  if  I  handle  holy  things,  it  must 
not  be  with  the  intellectual  knowledge  of  the 
old  nature,  but  by  the  power  of  the  Holy  Ghost, 
as  he  shall  show  them  to  me.  For  the  "  wis- 
dom of  the  world  is  foolishness  with  God." 

The  soul  born  of  God  is  complete  in  Christ, 
as  the  oak  enfolded  in   the  acorn.     All  the 


24  THE   SECRET   OF  THE  LOED. 

heavenly  faculties  are  jperfect  in  the  germ  in 
the  child  of  God :  if  they  are  not  exercised,  it 
does  not  follow  that  they  do  not  exist.  Many 
quickened  souls  take  Christ  as  their  Redeemer, 
who,  from  lack  of  knowledge  of  foundation 
truths,  manifest  but  feeble  outward  evidences 
of  redemption. 

He  who  is  made  unto  us,  wisdom,  righteous- 
ness, and  sanctification,  is  willing  to  give  us 
the  continual  witness  of  the  Spirit  as  we  walk 
with  him.  He  would  have  us  to  know  whom 
we  have  believed,  to  be  assured  that  our  Rock 
cannot  be  moved,  that  bread  will  be  given  us, 
and  that  our  water  will  be  sure.  If  we  believe 
him,  we  draw  from  him  such  supplies  of  grace 
as  develop  and  strengthen  the  child  of  God 
for  heavenly  fellowship.  The  new  nature  is  a 
garden  inclosed,  in  which  the  Lord  delights  to 
walk  and  talk.  There  is  the  sealed  fountain, 
there  bloom  the  fragrant  spices,  there  ripen  the 
pleasant  fruits  for  him.  Gal.  v.  22.  He  says  of 
his  garden  inclosed,  "I,  the  Lord  do  keep  it; 
I  will  water  it  every  moment :  lest  any  hurt  it, 
T  will  keep  it  night  and  day."   "  Joy  and  glad- 


WALKING   WITH   GOD.  25 

ness  shall  be  found  therein  ;  thanksgiving  and 
the  voice  of  melody."  And  Avill  he  ever  for- 
sake it  ?  Nay,  Avhen  all  seems  silent,  it  is  not 
death.  The  frost  but  withers  the  weeds ;  the 
Husbandman  is  there,  and  where  he  is,  there  is 
life.  Let  us  not  expect  the  way  to  be  a  sunny 
sail  upon  the  lake  of  Galilee.  The  facidties 
given  must  be  exercised,  the  faith  granted  must 
be  tried — seven  times  if  need  be  —  in  the  fire. 
Nor  shall  we  have  escape  beyond  the  tempter's 
wiles,  and  the  secret  assaults  of  sin,  until  that 
triumphant  hour  when  this  mortal  shall  put 
on  immortality,  and  death  is  swallowed  up  in 
victory.  When  we  see  the  Lord  as  he  is,  we 
shall  be  satisfied ;  for  we  shall  be  like  him  ; 
"and  every  man  that  hath  this  hope  in  him, 
purifieth  himself,  even  as  he  is  pure." 

The  thief  upon  the  cross,  and  the  beloved 
John,  were  alike  complete  in  Christ.  The  same 
simplicity  of  faith  which  drew  the  dying  male- 
factor to  trust  in  the  love  and  power  of  him  in 
whose  kingdom  he  desired  to  be  remembered, 
was  only  a  phase  of  the  like  faith  in  the  disci- 
ple "V  hom  Jesus  loved,  who  leaned  with  en- 


26  THE  SECEET  OF  THE  LORD. 

deared  familiarity  upon  liis  divine  Master's 
breast,  believing  from  the  love  lie  bore  bim, 
his  right  to  rest  there. 

Communi  )n  with  God  is  no  subject  of  cold 
speculation.  The  Scriptures  are  replete  with 
it.  The  vague  idea  of  Jehovah,  as  the  carnal 
heart  understands  him,  has  no  place  there. 
He  is  everywhere,  a  very  present  God ;  from 
the  glades  of  Eden,  where  he  talked  with 
Adam  in  the  cool  of  the  day,  to  that  resurrec- 
tion morning  when,  in  tones  of  human  tender- 
ness, he  called  the  weeping  woman  by  name — 
everywhere,  and  at  all  times  adapting  himself 
to  the  need  of  his  people.  All  proclaim  him  a 
God  near  at  hand,  as  well  as  afar  off;  cognizant 
of  our  secret  desires,  responding  to  the  faintest 
cry ;  a  living  God  —  the  God  of  the  living. 

Moses  walked  with  God.  "  I  have  known 
thee  by  name  "  is  the  testimony  of  intimate 
fellowship  between  God  and  man.  For  "  the 
Lord  spake  unto  Moses  face  to  face,  as  a  man 
speaketh  unto  his  friend."  While  "with  his 
own  right  hand  he  gat  himself  the  victory," 
yet  it  pleased  him  to  use  the  instrument  he 


WALKING   WITH   GOD.  27 

had  prepared  for  his  service ;  the  friend  of  liis 
counsels,  whom  he  had  ordained  the  lender 
and  deliverer  of  his  chosen  people. 

Noah  walked  with  God.  The  Most  High 
made  known  to  him  his  judgments  against  an 
ungodly  world,  and  accepted  his  family  for  the 
sake  of  the  righteousness  of  his  faith  working 
obedience. 

Enoch  walked  with  God,  and  begat  sons  and 
daughters ;  and  before  he  was  translated  he  had 
this  testimony,  tliat  he  pleased  God.  The 
secret  revelation  of  that  translation  we  must 
suppose  was  the  test  of  his  belief  in  the  Lord's 
almighty  power  and  truth ;  for  "  without  faith 
it  is  impossible  to  please  God ;  for  he  that  com- 
eth  to  God  must  believe  that  he  is,  and  that  he 
is  a  rewarder  of  them  that  diligently  seek  him." 
Heb.  xi.  6. 

Abraham  walked  with  God ;  in  what  close 
and  familiar  intercourse  the  Holy  Spirit  has 
not  left  us  ignorant.  God  himself  calls  him 
his  friend!  Doubtless,  as  he  revealed  to 
Moses  some  glimpse  of  that  Messianic  glory 
which  was   to    come   afterwards,  the  express 


28      THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LOBD. 

image  of  his  person,  so  also  in  the  typical 
sacrifice  of  Isaac,  the  paternal  heart  of  Abra- 
ham was  made  to  enter  into  that  mysterious 
transaction  which  gave  the  Lamb  of  God  to 
die  for  the  sin  of  a  guilty  world. 

"  The  secret  of  the  Lord  is  with  them  that 
fear  him,  and  he  will  show  them  his  covenant ;" 
(see  margin  —  "His  covenant  to  make  them 
know  it.")  His  delights  with  the  sons  of  men 
began  before  he  made  himself  in  all  things 
their  brother :  doth  his  pleasure  in  them  cease 
now  that,  by  taking  on  himself  their  nature,  he 
has  wrought  for  them  that  great  salvation  ? 

The  vail  of  the  temple  was  rent  in  twain 
when  the  Son  of  God  proclaimed  the  mighty 
sacrifice  "  finished."  But  ere  he  entered  the 
gates  of  glory,  and  sat  down  on  his  Father's 
throne,  the  Son  of  man  returned  to  his  "  breth- 
ren," to  comfort  their  hearts  and  strengthen 
their  faith.  Still  he  delio'hts  in  the  lovinsr 
constraining  of  his  followers,  even  as  when 
Abraham  besought  him  to  tarry  in  his  tent, 
and  his  sorrowing  disciples  entreated  him  to 
abide  with  them. 


WALKING    WITH    C!OD.  29 

He  is  the  evei-piesent  Friend.  You  cauQot 
see  liim  with  the  natural  eye,  as  did  the 
favored  baud  ou  the  shore  of  Tiberias;  but 
y(m  can  commune  with  him  as  trnl}-,  and  he 
with  you.  Like  those  dear  disciples,  essen- 
tially men  subject  to  like  passions  as  we  are, 
you  may  think  him  to  be  far  off  upon  the 
mountain,  and  find  him  when  least  expected, 
in  the  tumult  of  perplexity  and  fears  ;  having 
f(n-gotten  that  when  your  need  is  the  sorest,  he 
]>roraises  special  manifestations  of  his  presence 
and  power. 

There  are  the  hidden  ones  of  God,  whose  life 
of  faith  we  see  not,  though  we  partake  of  its 
fruit ;  but  there  are  others  it  would  take  many 
a  page  to  record,  whose  life  has  been  mani- 
fested before  the  Church  and  before  the  world. 

The  fact  of  two  thousand  two  hundred 
orphan  children  having  been  gathered  under 
holy  teaching,  fed  and  clothed,  and  educated 
for  various  calliigs,  is  a  testimony  in  our  own 
land  of  what  simple  faith  achieves.*  To  the 
unbeliever,  the  New  Orphan  Houses  on  Ashley 

•The  total  number  since  1836  is  2263.    See  "The  Bkistol 
Orphan  Hosies  and  Theik  founder."    By  Rev.  Dr.  Web-. 


30       THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

Down  are  tangible  proof  of  tlie  preTi,liiijg 
power  of  prayer.  Those  who  know  the  Nar- 
rative of  that  honored  servant  of  God,  Mr. 
Miiller,  of  Bristol,  and  his  multifarious  labors, 
cannot  but  feel  that  not  one  link  in  that  vast 
chain  of  blessing  but  must  (both  in  its  forma- 
tion and  continuance)  have  been  forged  and 
constructed  by  the  almighty  power  of  God. 
"  Jotham  became  mighty  because  he  prepared 
his  ways  before  the  Lord  his  God."  2  Chron. 
xxvii.  6.  These  are  facts  which  the  natural 
eye  and  natural  heart  may  take  knowledge  of. 
But  the  soul,  partaking  of  the  like  precious 
faith,  reads  the  mystery  of  these  facts  in  the 
same  secret  with  faithful  Abraham.  George 
Miiller  walks  with  God. 

Again,  not  long  since,  by  the  Lake  of  Zurich, 
lived  Dorothea  Triidel,*  the  orphan  daughter 
of  a  godly  mother.  The  Lord  chose  richly  to 
manifest  what  grace  wrought  in  her  and  by 
her,  through  the  power  of  the  Holy  Ghost. 
Sorrow  and  sickness  had  early  put  her  in  a 
position  to  sympathize  with  the  sufferings  of 

*"  The  Prayer  of  Faith." 


WALKING   WITIJ    GOD.  31 

oilicrs.  Many  were  the  diseased  bodies  re- 
stored to  licalth  and  activity,  and  the  dis- 
ordered minds  healed  of  their  plague, — many 
were  the  souls  granted  to  the  i)rayer  of  faith — 
before  Dorothea  formed  her  establishment  for 
healing  the  sick.  Neither  the  unholy  powers 
of  spirituahsm,  or  animal  magnetism,  or  clair- 
voyance, can  bring  souls  to  Jesus ;  nor  could 
they  cast  around  the  dwelling  of  this  German 
maiden  the  heavenly  element  in  which  the 
divine  life  throve.  Faith  and  prayer!  these 
were  the  secrets  which  the  famous  physicians, 
jealous  of  her  success,  and  the  curious  investi- 
gation of  the  wise  men  of  the  world,  failed  to 
discover.  Dorothea  Triidel  walked  with  God. 
The  missionary  labors  of  Pastor  Gossner, 
of  Berlin,  Francke's  Orphanage  at  Halle,  and 
the  lives  of  many  more  who  have  set  their  hope 
in  God  and  believed  in  him,  will  suggest  them- 
selves to  the  reader.  There  have  been  such  in 
e\eiy  age  :  Gt>d  knows  them  all ;  some  day  we 
shall  know  them  too.  No\v  we  are  responsible 
for  their  testimony.  Men  hear  and  read  of 
them ;  and  if  they  are  not  called  to  go  forth  on 


32       THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

special  missionary  enterprises,  to  build  orplian 
houses,  to  heal  the  sick,  or  to  act  in  some  way 
prominently  in  sight  of  the  world,  they  satisfy 
themselves  that  they  are  exempt  from  the  same 
walk  of  simple  faith.  Is  it  so  ?  If  the  saint  is 
indifferent  to  his  high  calling,  it  is  that  unbelief 
is  the  lion  in  the  way,  so  that  he  fears  to  con- 
fide in  Jesus.  Mourning  for  lack  of  sympathy, 
and  depressed  beneath  the  burden  of  perplexity 
and  sorrow  which  no  fellow-traveler  can  com- 
prehend or  .soothe,  he  does  not  realize  that 
there  is  a  Companion  of  the  cross,  who  is  with 
him  even  to  the  end,  —  changeless  in  affection, 
unfathomable  in  wisdom,  unlimited  in  power, 
perfect  in  holiness,  —  Jehovah  Jesus  ! 

"  The  secret  of  the  Lord  is  with  them  that 
fear  him :"  but  how  few  desire  to  walk  in  that 
happy  fellowship  with  God,  which  the  Lord 
Jesus  Christ  died  to  restore  to  fallen  man  ! 

If  we  take  Jesus  at  his  word,  and  believe 
he  is  with  us  "  alway,"  as  he  said,  then  tJie 
humblest  incident  of  our  daily  life  is  invested 
with  a  speech  and  language  to  the  hstening 
soul.     This  will  be  when  our  eyes  are  up  unto 


WALKING  WITH  GOD.  33 

the  Lord,  and  we  walk  in  the  light ;  then  it  is 
that  the  minutest  thread  of  divine  purpose 
unfolds  yet  more  of  his  love,  his  wisdom,  and 
his  power.  Then  the  soul  exults  in  its  help- 
lessness, because  it  is  the  medium  of  showing 
forth  the  faithfulness  and  might  of  Jehovah  ! 

• 

On  one  occasion  I  had  apartments  with  a 
friend,  more  expensive  than  I  should  have 
taken  alone  ;  they  were  very  large  and  pleas- 
antly situated. 

It  was  laid  on  my  mind  to  prepare  for  the 
press  a  maunscript  which  I  had  partly  written ; 
but  I  knew  that  if  I  used  up  the  little  strength 
I  had,  in  seeking  for  lodgings  or  in  packing,  it 
would  be  impossible  to  finish  my  manuscript. 
It  seemed  as  if  the  Lord  would  keep  me  where 
I  was  until  it  was  completed.  I  told  the  land- 
lady that  her  apartments  would  now  be  more 
than  I  could  afford,  and  that  I  proposed  to  leave 
her  in  a  few  days.  On  hearing  this  she  begged 
me  to  continue  there,  at  my  own  terms,  until 
she  found  a  tenant.  As  the  proposition  came 
from  herself,  I  saw  more  dii'ectly  the  hand  of 


34      THE  SECKET  OF  THE  LOED. 

the  Lord  in  it,  and  consented  to  remain. 
Week  after  week  went  by,  without  any  appli- 
cation for  my  rooms.  One  morning  the  land- 
lady remarked  upon  it.  I  could  not  refrain 
from  a  smile,  but  I  told  her  that  she  would  not 
be  allowed  to  lose.  I  said,  "  I  have  a  little 
work  to  do ;  when  it  is  finished,  you  will  let 
your  lodgings."     But  it  was  not  yet  done. 

A  few  days  after  this,  on  my  return  fi'om 
the  beach,  I  saw  a  fly  at  the  door ;  a  family 
had  called,  and  were  about  to  take  the  rooms 
that  afternoon.  They  had  gone  to  another 
house  a  few  doors  higher,  and  would  decide  in 
a  few  minutes.  My  first  feeling  was  one  of 
utter  desolation.  I  had  not  a  person  I  could 
ask  to  help  me  ;  but  as  this  thought  swept 
over  my  heart,  I  remembered  that  I  had  a 
Friend  in  heaven,  and  I  said,  "  Lord,  let  the 
people  like  the  other  house  best,"  and  sat  down. 
But  I  had  not  cast  all  my  care  on  my  heavenly 
Friend :  consequently  I  put  on  my  cloak  and 
went  out,  and  sought  for  another  abode.  One 
was  quite  unsuitable,  and  the  next  was  very 
gloomy.     I  returned ;  the  fly  was  gone ;  the 


WALKING   WITH  GOD.  35 

ladies  had  sent  word  that  they  liked  the  othei 
house  best.  My  blessed  Lord  had  cared  for 
his  child. 

I  learned  by  this,  first,  that  this  place  vras 
given  to  me  in  order  that  I  might  do  my  work ; 
and,  secondl}^  that  I  must  not  loiter. 

One  day,  while  upon  the  sands,  I  remarked 
three  children,  a  girl  of  nine,  a  boy  of  eight, 
and  another  of  six,  busy  making  sand  towers. 
I  spoke  to  them :  they  were  very  shy  at  first, 
but  were  evidently  well-trained  children,  gen- 
tle and  courteous,  simple  in  their  manners,  and 
very  fair  too  look  upon. 

I  watched  them  until  they  were  weary  of 
their  spades,  and  then  I  called  to  them,  and 
told  them  the  history  of  a  child,  which  soon 
won  their  attention.  The  youngest  boy  had 
an  evil  expression,  although  so  young,  and  a 
strange  hatred  of  the  very  name  of  Jesus.  A 
friendship  sprang  up  between  the  two  elder  and 
myself.  Day  after  day  we  met  on  the  strand, 
and  at  the  first  glimpse  of  me  their  play  was 
left.  As  they  sat  one  on  each  side  of  me,  I 
spoke  to  them  of  Jesus,  —  of  heaven,  —  and  of 


i'O  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LOED. 

God's  gracious  love  in  giving  Ms  own  Son  to 
die  for  sinners. 

Tliey  were  of  a  family  of  some  rank,  and 
were  living  within  a  few  doors  of  my  lodgings. 
In  a  short  time,  with  whomsoever  they  miglit 
be,  at  sight  of  me  they  bounded  to  my  side. 

When  I  found  a  difficulty  in  procuring 
suitable  lodgings,  I  thought  it  was  the  Lord's 
will  that  I  should  leave  the  place ;  for  I  felt 
that,  as  my  work  was  nearly  done,  I  should 
soon  be  called  u^^on  to  give  up  my  apartments. 
Yet  the  Lord  was  blessing  me  with  the  dear 
children,  and  I  did  not  like  to  quit  the  neigh- 
borhood. 

The  following  Sunday  I  was  sitting  on  the 
beach,  when  suddenly  I  saw  my  two  little 
friends  walldng  with  their  mother.  They 
sprang  forward  to  me  as  usual ;  but  I  told  them 
it  was  not  kind  to  leave  their  mother,  and  bade 
them  return.  The  lady  stood  at  a  distance, 
and  watched  us ;  and  when  the  children  had 
walked  a  little  with  her,  they  were  sent  in  ; 
then,  to  my  dismay,  with  slow  steps  she 
approached  me,  and  for  a  moment  stood  before 


WALKING   WITH   GOD.  37 

me  silently.  I  lifted  up  my  heart  for  grace  to 
help,  for  I  thoiiglit  she  had  come  to  complaiu 
of  the  cliildren  loving  Jesus.  But  no  I  She 
said  almost  timidly, 

"  May  I  sit  down  with  you  ?" 

I  made  room  for  her  by  my  side.  She  con- 
tinued, "  I  come  to  thank  you  for  your  kind- 
ness  to  my  children.     You   have   won   their 

hearts.    As  you  have  spoken  to  my  L ,  now 

speak  to  her  mother."  INIy  heart  was  very 
full,  as  we  talked  together.  I  told  her  that  1 
expected  to  leave  my  former  lodgings.  She 
asked  me  if  she  might  send  the  children  to  visit 
me  •  "  And  will  you  let  me  come  too  —  come 
hi/  myself 'P^ 

She  came ;  and  I  can  only  hope  it  was  not 
in  vain  that  we  met. 

My  work  was  finished.  I  rang  the  bell  and 
told  my  landladj'-  that  she  would  let  her 
rooms,  as  my  work  was  completed.  She 
looked  amazed,  and  said, 

"  If  you  really  think  so,  I  should  like  to  go 
into  the  country  with  my  family  for  a  day." 

I  told  her  to  do  so. 


88      THE  SECEET  OF  THE  LORD. 

In  tlie  afternoon  I  went  out,  and  on  my 
return  I  saw  a  carriage  laden  with  luggage  at 
the  door.  I  felt  the  time  was  come  —  that  the 
rooms  were  mine  no  longer.  Even  so.  The 
servant  did  not  wish  to  let  them,  and  therefore 
named  half  as  much  again  as  her  mistress  had 
spoken  of.  It  made  no  difference ;  the  people 
engaged  them.  When  the  landlady  retui-ned, 
her  house  was  let  at  a  price  far  beyond  her 
usual  terms.  The  family  remained  many 
months  during  the  dull  season,  when  no  other 
houses  near  had  inmates.  It  was  the  means  of 
awakening  in  the  landlady's  heart  a  desire  of 
learning  something  of  Him,  whom  she  knew 
not  as  the  Saviour  of  all  men,  specially  of  those 
who  believe.  She  came  to  see  me  several  times, 
and  blessed  the  remembrance  of  the  wonderful 
way  in  which  the  Lord  had  kept  me  in  her 
house. 

I  took  a  lodging,  the  only  one  I  met  with 
that  was  within  my  means ;  it  was  a  dull  place, 
looking  out  on  a  wall.  It  had  formerly  been  a 
large  house,  and  was  now  divided  into  two  or 
three  smaller  tenements. 


WALKING   WITH   GOD.  39 

I  required  a  south  room  if  possible,  a  good 
bedi'oom,  and  also  rain-water  ;  for  the  water 
in  this  place  was  very  bad.  1  mentioned  those 
wants  to  my  heavenly  Father,  leaving  other 
things  to  him  to  choose  for  me. 

I  felt  very  anxious  to  be  where  the  Lord 
needed  me,  and  I  prayed  for  these  things  partly 
as  a  sign  of  his  approval.  While  I  was  in  the 
di'awing-room  speaking  of  the  rent,  the  land- 
lady said,  "  If  you  will  come  and  see  the  bed- 
room, I  think  you  will  decide  upon  it ;  it  is  a 
large  south  room,  with  a  wide  bay-window." 
I  went  in  and  found,  as  she  said,  a  dehghtful 
room ;  and  as  I  went  down  stairs,  she  added, 
"  We  have  a  deep  old-fashioned  tank,  full  of 
rain-water,  so  that  there  is  a  bath  for  you  every 
day  if  you  like." 

Then  I  knew  that  the  Lord,  by  the  woman's 
words,  had  said,  "  This  is  your  place ;  rest 
here."  Accordingly  I  took  possession  of  my 
tent. 

I  went  to  bed,  weary  and  thankful ;  but 
sleep  was  out  of  the  question.  Every  quarter 
of  an  hour,  through  the  thin  partition,  from 


40  THE   SECRET   OF   THE  LCIRD. 

the  other  house,  a  low  hollow  cough  rang  in 
my  ears.  I  arose  more  weary  than  when  I  lay 
down.  The  next  night  it  was  the  same.  At 
a  loss  what  to  do,  yet  feeling  sure  tliat  here  I 
was  ordered  to  come,  I  was  bewildered.  At 
last  I  cried  to  the  Lord,  "  Oh,  how  long  am  I 
before  I  reach  out  my  hand  to  '  the  Rock  that 
is  higher  than  I !'  " 

It  became  clear  to  me  that  I  must  go  into 
the  next  house,  and  inquire  for  the  person  who 
coughed.  God  would  teach  me  the  rest.  The 
people  were  Romanists.  They  told  me  that  a 
family  of  three  lodged  above,  and  that  one,  the 
eldest  girl,  was  dying  of  consumption.  With 
some  reluctance  the  man  was  persuaded  to  go 
up  and  ask  them  to  see  me.  He  returned,  and 
said  the  sick  one  was  alone ;  I  might  enter. 

I  shall  not  forget  the  scene.  It  was  a  lofty 
room,  in  the  full  blaze  of  a  September  after- 
noon. There  were  two  large  windows  without 
blinds  or  curtains,  scarcely  an  article  of  fur- 
niture but  of  the  oldest  and  meanest  descrip- 
tion ;  and,  lying  on  a  heap  of  straw,  covered 
with  a  coarse  coverlid,  was  one  of  the  most 


WALKING   WITH  GOD.  41 

beautiful  women  I  ever  saw,  although  far  ad- 
vanced in  consuciption.  Her  features  were  of 
the  most  faultless  model,  and  a  mass  of  golden 
hair,  bright  even  though  untended  and  uncared 
for,  fell  over  her  shoulders.  Her  large  blue 
eyes  looked  up  smilingly  in  my  face  without 
the  least  restraint  or  surprise. 

I  felt  it  was  food  that  she  needed,  and  said, 
"  I  am  living  next  door.  I  heard  you  cough. 
Will  it  help  you  if  I  send  some  dinner  daily 
from  my  table  ?"  .  She  did  not  reply,  but  smiled 
like  a  child  listening  to  a  story.  I  spoke  but 
little  more  that  day. 

In  a  few  days  I  remarked  a  visible  change  in 
her  appearance.  Her  hair  was  now  smooth  on 
her  marble- white  forehead,  and  she  had  lost  the 
expression  of  extreme  exhaustion:  her  voice 
too  Avas  stronger.  I  told  her  that  since  my  first 
visit  I  had  not  heard  her  cough  above  once  or 
twice  in  the  nif'ht.  She  said  it  was  so,  and 
continued, 

"  You  must  have  thought  me  very  rude 
when  you  first  came  and  offered  me  dinner 
every  day,*  and  sent  me  what  I  needed ;  but  I 
was  expecting  you." 


42       THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

"How  SO  ?  I  never  was  in  tliis  part  of  the 
town  in  my  life  before." 

She  answered,  "  Up  to  the  day  before  you 
came  to  see  me  I  had  a  kind  fiiend  to  help 
me.  She  has  very  little  means,  only  what 
she  can  give  from  her  own  savings.  She  was 
obliged  to  go  from  tliis  place  the  day  before 
yon  arrived.  She  had  nothing  to  leave  with 
me,  no  one  she  could  ask  to  assist  me ;  but 
she  said  God  could  help  me.  She  passed  the 
night  in  prayer  for  a  friend  to  be  raised  up  for 
me  ;  and  she  told  me  one  would  be  sent,  and 
I  believed  her  ;  so  I  was  just  watcliing  for  the 
friend  God  was  to  send,  when  you  came  in. 
When  I  saw  you,  though  I  expected  some  one, 
I  could  not  speak."  She  added,  "I  was  very 
weak." 

"  What  food  had  you  taken  that  day?" 

She  smiled  as  she  answered,  "  Two  pota- 
toes." 

The  cough  disturbed  me  no  more.  It  ceased 
almost  entirely  at  night.  I  visited  her  often, 
and  she  received  me  gladly.  She  was  a  very 
remarkable  person  ;  her  age  twenty-five.    Her 


WALKING   WITH   GOD.  43 

father,  a  Protest%iit,  was  dead.  At  the  father's 
death,  her  mother,  a  Romanist,  brought  hei 
children  and  settled  herself  close  by  a  convent. 
No  one  came  near  the  poor  girl.  I  was  able  to 
pray  and  read  to  her,  and  she  loved  to  listen. 
I  believed  her  converted.  I  cannot  tell.  She 
said  she  used  to  pray  that  I  should  not  leave 
her  while  she  lived,  and  her  prayer  was  granted. 
One  day  her  mother  asked  the  priest  to  visit 
her ;  then  all  our  interviews  were  over.  Food, 
now  that  she  needed  it  not,  was  sent  her  from 
the  convent,  and  her  mother  would  throw 
away  any  Uttle  delicacy  I  sent  her.  She  was 
surrounded  with  Sisters  of  Mercy  and  lady- 
visitors:  but  her  end  was  come,  and  it  mat- 
tered little.  She  became  rapidly  worse,  when 
I  received  a  summons  to  London.  The  day 
before  I  was  to  leave,  I  went  in  to  see  my  poor 
neighbor.  She  was  dying  fast.  She  said  over 
and  over  again,  "  I  shall  meet  you  in  heaven." 
The  weather  was  very  sultry,  but  she  could 
not  bear  the  window  open  by  reason  of  the 
noise,  and  the  atmosphere  of  the  room  was 
almost  stifling.     She  said. 


44  THE   SECEET   OF   THE   LOED. 

"  They  asked  me  wliy  I  sigiled  just  now.  1 
could  see  what  they  could  not.  The  flies  are 
settling  on  my  hands  and  face,  and  I  smiled  to 
see  the  angels  brush  them  away.  You  believe 
me,"  she  said,  addressing  me,  "  so  I  tell  youy 

My  work  was  done  ;  I  did  not  see  her  die. 
She  was  in  convulsions  and  insensible  when  I 
left  the  next  day,  and  extreme  unction  was 
being  administered  to  her.  Oh,  what  had  I 
not  learned  of  God's  loving  care  !  I  could  only 
do  what  he  gave  me  to  do,  and  as  long  as  he 
gave  me  to  do  it.  But  it  was  another  experience 
of  the  necessity  of  casting  our  care  on  him 
who  alone  loiows  the  way.  If  we  are  walking 
uprightly  with  him,  we  must  not  judge  of  God's 
guiding  by  the  amount  of  natural  satisfaction 
we  receive  in  following  it.  He  leads  by  paths 
we  know  not ;  and  the  lack  of  strength  in  his 
followers  is  generally  from  undue  reasonings 
and  from  judging  before  the  time.  It  amounts 
to  this :  "  Lord,  I  will  follow  thee  whitherso- 
ever thou  goest."  An  unconditional  surrender 
in  words ;  but  when  the  Lord  goes  before  (is, 
and  we  find  ourselves  in  some  barren  desert. 


WALKING   WITU   GOD.  45 

or  some  lonely  city  dwelling — fox  jt  is  in  the 
multitude  that  the  child  of  God  feels  most 
lonely, : — then  we  say,  "  We  asked  the  Lord  to 
guide,  and  we  have  taken  our  own  way." 
"  Why  are  )^e  fearful?  how  is  it  that  ye  have 
no  faith?''''  still  sounds  around  our  way,  which 
we  tread  like  frightened  children. 

Those  who  believe  must  not  make  haste. 
There  is  a  purpose,  and  a  time  for  every  pur- 
pose. ■  "  He  that  observeth  the  wind  shall  not 
sow,  and  he  that  regardcth  the  clouds  shall  not 
reap."  If  the  believer  is  taken  up  with  the 
providences  of  God,  and  not  with  God  himself, 
he  will  always  be  in  uncertainty  and^  perplex- 
ity ;  for  who  can  understand  his  own  ways,  — 
much  more  the  ways  of  him  who  holds  creation 
in  his  grasp  ?  For  "  it  is  not  in  man  that  walk- 
eth  to  direct  his  steps." 

A  service  is  appointed  us,  like  some  point 
of  land  we  are  to  reach  through  long  travel : 
but  before  we  reach  that  point  which  looms  in 
the  distance,  we  have  hills,  and  valleys,  and 
dreary  paths,  to  tread.  We  know  not  what 
awaits  us  at  the  end  ;  but  we  may  be  i)repa)'ed 


46  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

for  it  in  the  experiences  of  the  journey,  j^dul 
knew  he  "  must  see  Rome ;"  but  his  loving 
friends  did  not  foresee  how  little  the  "pros- 
perous" journey  would  resemble  what  they 
would  have  desired  for  him.  One  of  the  buds 
of  promise  in  the  crown  of  his  espousals  was, 
that  he  should  suffer  many  things  for  the  Mas- 
ter he  was  prepared  to  serve. 

To  walk  with  God  you  must  become  as  a 
little  child.  You  must  be  content  to  be  counted 
a  fool  for  Christ's  sake.  And  truly  you  will 
have  to  walk  very  much  alone.  Some  may  say, 
"  These  men  are  full  of  new  wine  ;"  or,  like  the 
enemies  of  our  heavenly  Master,  "  Thou  hast  a 
devil,  and  art  mad ;"  but  "  wisdom  is  justified 
of  all  her  children."  "  It  is  enough  for  the  dis- 
ciple that  he  be  as  his  master,  and  the  servant 
as  his  lord.  If  they  have  called  the  master  of 
the  house  Beelzebub,  how  much  more  shall 
they  call  them  of  his  household  ?  Fear  them 
not  therefore."     Matt.  x.  25,  26. 

Are  you  willing  to  be  despised  for  Christ's 
sake !  You  may  be  learned  in  prophecy,  or 
otherwise  instructed  in  the  letter  of  the  Word, 


WALKING    WITH    GOD.  47 

and  receive  honor  from  man  ;  but  ii'  you  will 
live  godly  in  Christ  Jesus,  you  shall  &,ufFer  per- 
secution.    God  himself  hath  said  it. 

If  we  look  around  at  the  busy  workers,  we 
should  say  that  Christians  were  triumphantly 
carried  over  the  persecution  promised.  But 
where  are  the  peace  and  the  power  which 
should  flow  to  Christians  from  communion 
with  the  heavenly  Father  ?  Nay,  some  are  so 
busy  keeping  others'  vineyards,  that  their  own 
vineyard  they  have  not  kept. 

Fellowship  with  God  must  spring  from  the 
simple  faith  of  the  little  child  ;  and  this  lan- 
guishes if,  instead  of  seeking  his  face,  we  are 
so  occupied  about  his  business,  and  engrossed 
with  those  around  us,  that  we  can  only  bring 
to  him  the  wearied  energies  and  the  drooping 
spirit.  No  loving  husband  would  be  satisfied 
with  such  a  return  of  affection  ;  and  though 
others  might  admire  the  zeal  and  activity  of 
the  busy  wife,  he  would  miss  tlie  companion 
of  his  life. 

There  is  a  certain  stereotyped  character  dis- 
cernible in  the  members  of  a  body   or  &ec*" 


48       THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

gathered  under  some  favorite  minister ;  thej' 
reflect  his  views  and  opinions,  and  also  his 
defects. 

The  truths  which  have  been  burned  into  his 
heart,  line  upon  line,  in  the  furnace  fii'es,  often 
find  a  ready  utterance  from  those  who  know 
nothing  of  them  experimentally.  Hearers  and 
admirers  adopt  them,  and  thence  the  appear- 
ance of  rapid  advance  in  the  divine  life,  fol- 
lowed by  apparent  backsliding.  Tliis  is  often 
nothing  more  than  a  return  to  their  former 
XDOsition.  Truths,  rendered  attractive  by  their 
novelty,  have  been  received  externalh-,  while 
their  vitality  has  remained  unknown ;  like 
children's  gardens  filled  with  gathered  blos- 
soms that  have  no  root,  and  so  wither  away. 
There  are  no  defects  in  the  Great  Teacher  ; 
therefore,  while  the  full  value  of  pastors  and 
ministers  who  are  filled  with  the  Holy  Spirit 
is  admitted,  it  must  remain  true  that  those  who 
five  in  the  society  of  the  Beloved  shall  realize 
most  of  his  beauty,  and  reflect  most  of  his 
image. 

Not  for  this  will  you  be  loved  of  the  world. 


WALKING   WITH  GOD.  49 

You  will  realize  what  the  Lord  Jesus  promised 
- — "persecution;"  and  you  will  become  an 
enigma  to  your  brethren :  "  Neither  did  liis 
brethren  believe  in  him." 

A  poor  unlettered  man  said  to  me  one  day, 
"  Every  believer  needs  to  be  confident  that  a 
supernatural  power  dwells  within  him  ;  it  is 
this  which  makes  the  difference  between  him 
and  the  world."  Truly  this  is  walking  as 
cliildren  of  the  kingdom :  this  confidence  in- 
vests them  with  power  in  their  weakness ;  for 
God  hath  said,  "All  things  are  yours."  With 
him  we  overcome ;  in  him  we  have  peace. 
We  lack  the  fidfillment  of  these  blessed  pro- 
mises when  we  do  not  walk  with  God. 

]Many  saved  souls  know  of  this  doctrine,  but 
fail  in  the  simple  faith  by  which  it  is  enjoyed. 
The  Incarnate  Word  is  that  which  God  has 
given  to  nourish  us — the  daily  bread  from 
heaven. 

Why  is  it  that  ordinances  become  wearisome, 
and  work  in  its  routine  a  burden  ?  It  is  that 
Jesus  is  not  carried  into  the  chanoingf  events 
of  e very-day  life.     But  when  "  Jesus  only"  is 


50      THE  SECEET  OF  TBE  LOED. 

dll  our  salvation,  and  all  our  desire,  then  each 
hour  is  a  page  of  deepening  interest  in  the 
book  of  life.  But  if  he  is  sought  only  at  set 
times,  or  in  ordinances,  is  it  any  marvel  that 
the  SOU-  lacks  appetite,  and  loathes  the  "  light 
food,"  and  thus  becomes  discouraged  at  the 
feeble  realization  of  heavenly  things  ? 

Murmur  not  if  friends  fail  you.  The  Lord 
knows  you  by  name.  "  Can  two  walk  together 
except  they  be  agreed?"  If  one  knows  only 
the  letter,  and  the  other  seeks  the  spirit,  pro- 
bably he  who  knows  only  the  letter  will  to  the 
outward  appearance  outrun  him  who  is  led  by 
the  Spirit.  Nevertheless,  the  promise  is  not 
to  him  that  runneth.  Psa.  cxlvii.  10  ;  Isa.  xxx. 
15,  16. 

If  you  are  seeking  help  from  many  counsel- 
ors, you  will  fail  to  learn  the  immediate  min- 
istration of  the  mighty  Counselor.  If  you  look 
for  sympathy  from  many  comforters,  you  will 
miss  the  comfort  of  the  endearing  relationship 
of  the  everlasting  Father.  Isa.  Ixvi.  13.  The 
day  is  at  hand  when  the  tears  shall  be  wiped 
away  from  all  faces.     But  the  recollection  of 


THE  raven's   cry.  61 

this  burden  of  gi'icf  shared  with  the,  man  Christ 
Jesus  :  —  those  hours  of  darkness  during  which 
you  waited  at  his  feet  for  his  voice  of  love  ; 
that  hard  speech  and  bitter  taunt  that  sent  you 
to  cast  your  wounded  heart  before  him  for  his 
healing  touch ;  those  silent  hours  when  you 
scu:"  it  for  guidance,  and  received  special  coun- 
sel to  guide  and  help,  —  waiting  times,  but  not 
idle  hours,  for  they  were  spent  with  him  who  is 
our  wisdom  : — those  seasons  will  be  among 
your  heavenly  treasures. 

Such  remembrances  even  in  this  life  shed  a 
glory  over  the  roughest  billow  ;  and  hereafter, 
if  not  now,  we  shall  see  that  we  have  walked 
the  waters  with  him,  and  our  loss  shall  be  all 
gain  in  our  fellowship  with  Jesus. 

Thy  hand  controls  the  howling  storm, 

Thy  foot  is  on  the  sea  ; 
How  can  I  tread  the  waters,  Lonl« 

Unless  1  walk  with  thee. 


52       THE  SECEET  OF  THE  LOED. 


CHAPTER    111. 

LEAITIKG      ON      JESUS. 

re  are  my  friends,  if  ye  do  wliatsoever  I  command  thee. 
John  xv.  14. 


n  jt;HE  disciple  whom  Jesus  loved  leaned  up- 

f" '.'  on  his  bosom.  Dear  reader,  where  are 
j^  you  ?  It  is  John  to  whom  Peter  addresses 
his  question ;  it  is  to  the  loving  one  reposing 
in  confidence  on  his  breast  that  Jesus  answers. 
It  is  Mary  listening  at  his  feet  that  the  An 
ointed  One  of  God  commends  ;  it  is  from  her 
hand  that  he  accepts  the  significant  offering 
which  remains  an  everlasting  memorial  of  her. 
Did  he  love  these  disciples  more  than  the  oth- 
ers ?  Nay ;  but  they  apprehended  his  love  to 
them,  and  believed  him  when  he  said,  "  He  that 
loveth  me  shall  be  loved  of  my  Father,  and  I 
will  love  him,  and  will  manifest  myself  to 
him."  "  If  a  man  love  me,  he  ■s\'ill  keep  ray 
words :  and  my  Father  avlU  love  him,  and  we 


LEANING   ON  JESUS.  o3 

will  come  unto  liiin,  and  make  our  abode  with 
him."  Whatever  place  in  the  vineyard  the 
Lord  has  appointed  for  his  disciple,  there  is  no 
position  in  which  he  ought  not  to  be,  and  may 
net  be,  found  leaning  on  Jesus,  and  listening 
to  his  words. 

The  Holy  Ghost  abides  not  in  temples  made 
with  hands,  neither  can  he  delight  in  a  divided 
heart.  The  merchandize  that  crowds  the  tem- 
ple of  your  God  must  be  cast  out  ere  room  can 
be  made  for  him.  Let  not  the  lowing  of  oxen 
di"0wn  the  voice  of  the  Beloved.  Plead  not 
that  oxen  are  needful,  that  sheep  and  pigeons 
are  gentle,  harmless  objects,  and  that,  money- 
changing  is  lawful,  and  then  complain  that 
you  cannot  see  him  whom  you  say  your  soul 
loveth. 

If  you  are  in  earnest  in  seeking  fellowship 
with  the  Lord  Jesus,  go  to  him  —  ask  him  to 
drive  out  the  enemy  before  you.  One  sight  of 
his  beauty,  and  all  Hghter  likings  will  take 
their  appointed  place,  or  disperse  as  snow- 
wreaths  before  the  ^un.  Thus  the  soul,  emp- 
tied of  all  meaner  joys,  will  understand  that  it 


64      THE  SECEET  OF  THE  LORD. 

has  been  redeemed  with  the  precious  Hood  ol 
Christ,  as  of  a  Lamb  without  blemish  and 
without  spot,  that  so  he  may  dwell  in  you  and 
walk  in  you,  that  you  may  be  his  people,  and 
that  he  may  be  your  God. 

When  one  bereaved  of  her  husband  wept  by 
the  coffin  of  her  only  child,  she  exclaimed,  "  I 
see  God  will  have  my  whole  heart,  and  he  shall 
have  it."  Not  all  that  the  Spirit  was  pleading 
within  her  soul  was  heard  on  earth ;  but  the 
offering  was  accepted  by  him  who  inspired  it : 
her  eyes  were  opened,  and  she  knew  his  voice, 
and  henceforth  followed  him. 

It  is  the  heart  for.  which  the  Lord  is  often 
contending  in  his  dealings  with  his  people,  the 
whole  heart ;  for  it  is  in  proportion  as  the  old 
nature,  with  its  affections  and  lusts,  is  crucified, 
that  the  indwelling  of  the  Holy  Ghost  is  man- 
ifested. How  soon  a  desire  unduly  indulged, 
or  an  unholy  thought  unrestrained,  will  cast 
its  shadow  on  the  spirit ;  or  idle  words  or 
foolish  jesting  break  the  sweet  peace  that 
reigned  before !  How  rapidly  and  uncon- 
sciously some  cherished   affection  may  begat 


LEANING  ON   JESUS.  55 

an  idol/  wliicli  the  hand  of  love  must  break  in 
pieces. 

For  our  poor  hearts  fail  to  know, 
Wlieie  our  gourds  are  gi-owing, 

Till  the  east  wind  lays  them  low, 
And  our  tears  are  flowing. 

A  godly  pastor,  who  had  been  much  blessed 
in  his  ministry,  lost  the  comfort  and  witness  of 
the  Holy  Spirit.  He  became  consciously  strait- 
ened in  his  preaching,  and  weary  of  his  work. 
He  sought  an  aged  member  of  his  flock,  and 
inquired  of  her  if  she  still  received  benefit 
from  his  ministry. 

"  I  no  longer  gain  anything  from  your  teach- 
ings," replied  his  honest  heart. 

"  The  fault  may  be  in  yourself,"  suggested 
the  pastor  ;  "  perhaps  j^ou  have  ceased  to  pray 
for  me." 

"  Not  so,"  said  she ;  "  I  pray,  but  the  heavens 
are  brass." 

"  Nevertheless,  pray  on,"  said  the  sad-hearted 
man,  "  and  I  will  see  you  again." 

Accordingly,  after  a  week  had  gone  by,  he 
inquired  anxiously,  "What  have  you  to  tell 
me  ?  was  the  power  of  the  Spirit  felt  yesterday 
in  my  discoui-se  ?" 


66  THE   SECEET   OF   THE  LOED. 

"  Nay,"  replied  the  faitMul  woman,  "  it 
lacked  unction.  Your  words  were  nothing  to 
me." 

"  Have  you  prayed  for  me  ?"  he  continued ; 
for  he  felt,  in  the  desolation  and  coldness  of 
his  iieart,  how  much  he  needed  it. 

"  I  said  before,"  she  answered,  "  that  the 
heavens  were  brass,  when  I  prayed  for  you ; 
but  this  week  the  Lord  says,  '  Let  him  alone  ! 
he  is  joined  to  his  idols,  let  him  alone  !'  " 

There  was  silence.  Faithful  are  the  wounds 
of  a  friend.     G-od  had  spoken. 

The  pastor  put  his  hand  into  his  breast, 
and  drew  forth  a  miniature  suspended  there  ; 
throwing  it  on  the  stone  floor,  he  stamped  his 
heel  heavily  on  it,  and  the  ivory  picture  lay 
scattered  in  fragments  at  his  feet.  It  was  the 
portrait  of  his  fair  youDg  daughter,  who  had 
been  removed  by  death  a  few-months  before. 
Immoderate  grief  for  her  loss  had  hidden  from 
him  the  face  of  the  Master,  who  thus  was 
pleading  with  him  for  his  whole  heart,  waiting 
to  restore  to  him  the  joy  of  his  salvation ;  for 
what  have  we  to  do  any  more  witli  idols  ? 


LEANING  ON   JESUS.  57 

From  the  slavery  of  sin,  from  the  hard 
bondage  of  our  own  will,  the  Lord  Jei>us  died 
to  deliver  us.  And  yet  that  unbroken  com- 
munion out  of  which  true  service  can  alone 
flow  seems  to  be  desired  and  sought  foi  too 
often  in  service,  rather  than  recognized  as  the 
source  from  whence  it  springs. 

The  works  of  nature  are  types  of  those  of 
grace :  day  and  night,  summer  and  winter, 
seed-time  and  harvest,  shadow  forth  the  soul's 
progress. 

Even  were  we  living  above  our  besetting  sin 
of  unbelief,  yet  the  fellowship  of  the  Lord  Jesus 
nowhere  promises  exemption  from  tribulation  ; 
for  the  trial  of  our  faith  is  much  more  precious 
than  of  gold  that  perisheth,  though  it  be  tried 
by  fire.  Fiery  trials  are  no  sti-ange  things  to 
the  Lord's  followers.  The  rejoicing  in  them 
is  not  of  the  old  nature,  but  is  born  of  the 
Holy  Spirit;  and  that  joy  looks  beyond  the 
fellowship  of  suffering,  "  that  when  his  glory 
.  shall  be  revealed,  ye  may  be  glad  also  with  ex- 
ceeding joy." 

Many  timid   followers   of  the   L(ird,  with 


58      THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LOED. 

broken  health  and  shattered  nerves,  add  to 
their  own  sorrows  the  often-recurring  thought 
that  they  have  grievously  departed  from  God. 
They  have  lost  some  of  the  comforts  which 
they  enjoyed  in  other  days,  and  thus  they 
think  it  was  better  with  them  then  than  now. 
The  overtaxed  brain,  the  jaded  mind,  and 
weary  body,  cannot  respond  to  the  joy  that 
once  thrilled  their  souls  at  thoughts  of  the 
Lord's  gracious  dealings  with  them. 

Distrust  not  his  love,  thou  tried  and  tempted 
one.  Jesus  is  the  same.  Thy  heart  is  resting 
on  him,  or  it  would  not  grieve  over  its  own 
unworthiness,  and  that  it  can  no  longer  offer 
the  glad  sacrifice  of  praise.  Christ  is  all,  all 
that  you  cannot  be,  and  he  is  thy  praise. 
Fear  not!  His  thoughts  are  "thoughts  of 
peace,  and  not  of  evil,  to  give  you  an  expected 
end."  Another  thorn  in  the  chaplet  will  make 
heaven  the  sweeter :  soon  shall  the  thorns  be 
exchanged  for  a  crown  of  glory.  Another  nail 
in  the  flesh  will  make  the  cross  lighter,  and 
Ihe  sight  of  him  thou  lovest  shall  make  amends 
for  all. 


LEANING   ON   JESUS.  59 

The  shadow  that  sin  casts  becomes  more  and 
more  oppressive.  And  even  when  repented 
of,  the  face  of  the  Lord  ma}'-  not  be  seen,  and 
a  sense  of  spiritual  desertion  may  be  permitted, 
as  well  as  any  other  chastening,  that  the  so  id 
may  take  heed  to  her  ways.  Tlie  closer  the 
communion  that  may  have  subsisted,  the  keen- 
er will  be  the  suffering  of  any  departure.  "  I 
opened  to  my  Beloved ;  but  my  Beloved  had 
withdrawn  himself,  and  was  gone  :  my  soul 
failed  when  he  spake  ;  I  sought  him,  but  I 
could  not  find  him ;  I  called  him,  but  he  gave 
me  no  answer."     Song  of  Solomon  v.  6. 

To  retain  unbroken  communion  we  need 
the  constant  remembrance  of  the  blood  which 
cleanseth ;  otherwise,  Avhen  the  spiritual  sight 
becomes  clearer,  the  heart  will  be  dismayed  at 
the  often-recurring  view  of  the  cage  of  unclean 
birds  witliin  us.  When  the  river  lies  calm  in 
the  summer  sunlight,  it  reflects,  as  in  a  mirror, 
the  banks  that  overhang  it,  and  the  blue  sky 
above ;  but  cast  a  pebble  into  the  water  and 
disturb  its  repose,  let  a  whirlwind  sweep  over 
it,  or  a  boat  cross  its  surface,  then  the  serene 


60  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

reflection  of  tlie  heavens  is  broken  into  fitful 
gleams,  or  altogether  obscured.  The  sky  is 
really  as  fair  as  ever,  but  peace  must  reign 
upon  the  troubled  waters  before  that  sky  can 
be  reflected  in  them. 

We  know  how  light  a  cloud  will  mar  our 
peace.  Then  how  can  it  be  beneath  the  maj- 
esty of  the  Most  High  to  take  cognizance  of 
the  minutest  temj)oral  affair  of  his  beloved 
ones  ?  There  is  none  too  small  for  the  Infinite 
to  guide  and  rule,  and  it  is,  in  fact,  broad  infi- 
delity to  doubt  it. 

I  had  lately  arrived  at ,  and  was  accom- 
panying a  lady  for  a  drive.  I  was  struck  with 
the  beauty  of  the  downs,  and  remarked  that 
the  church  was  being  rebuilt,  and  that  there 
was  no  place  of  meeting  for  the  people  with- 
out a  long  walk.  I  said,  "  Oh,  how  I  wish  my 
lot  had  been  cast  here  !  How  I  should  have 
loved  to  visit  the  cottages."  However,  I  was 
far  from  them. 

I  was  very  comfortable  in  my  cottage  lodg- 
ing, until  a  man  who  had  a  room  in  it  began 
to  smoke.   This  affected  my  heart,  and  brought 


LEANING   ON   JESUS.  61 

on  fainting.  I  sent  to  ask  him  to  desist,  but 
he  rudely  refused.  I  did  not  like  leaving  my 
pleasant  summer  cot,  where  I  had  expected  to 
remain  many  months.  I  prayed  to  Le  directed ; 
for  I  sti'ove  to  endure  the  sickness,  and  thought 
I  should  perhaps  become  accustomed  to  the 
annoj'^ance.  At  last,  I  asked  the  Lord  to  lead 
the  man  to  give  up  smoking,  or  to  keep  me 
from  suffering.  If  not ;  then,  as  I  was  fast 
losing  all  power  of  moving,  to  let  me  see 
whether  it  Avas  his  will  that  I  should  depart. 

The  following  day  the  smoke  was  worse, 
and  I  fainted.  For  some  days  I  could  not 
walk.  I  had  no  friend  in  the  place  that  I 
could  ask  to  seek  for  a  lodging,  and  one  I 
must  have  at  once.  So  I  se.it  for  my  old  chair- 
man to  inquire,  and  went  out,  praying  the 
Lord  to  put  into  the  mind  of  the  chairman  the 
house  he  wished  me  to  occupy.  The  man  said, 
Yes,  he  knew  some  lodgings,  "  very  beautiful 
ones,"  in  the  center  of  the  town.  1  told  him 
the  town  would  not  suit  me.  So  ho  went  on 
veiy  sulky  for  a  time,  and  I  very  dark  and 
unhappy.     At  last  I  said  to  myself,  "  What  a 


62  THE   SECRET    OF   THE   LORD. 

hypocrite  I  am !  I  ask  the  Lord  whire  he 
wants  me,  and  pray  him  to  put  it  into  the 
mind  of  the  man,  and  when  told,  I  say,  'It 
does  not  suit  me  ! ' " 

When  my  mind  had  reached  this  conclusion, 
and  before  I  could  speak,  the  chairman  stopped 
and  said,  "  I  wish,  ma'am,  you  would  let  me 
take  you  to  see  the  lodgings."  I  now  answered 
him,  "  Certainly."  He  quickened  his  pace  ; 
and  when  he  stopped  I  found  mj^self  in  a 
gloomy  street,  before  a  fine  old  house  that  in 
former  days  had  stood  alone.  A  suite  of  many 
spacious  rooms  were  offered  me  at  a  proportion- 
ately high  rent. 

I  told  the  person  they  were  not  suitable 
either  in  situation  or  price. 

She  said,  "  Would  j^ou  object  to  a  house  in 
the  country,  about  a  mile  on  the  other  side  of 
the  town  ?"  I  answered,  it  was  exactly  what 
I  shoidd  like. 

The  girl  said,  "  That  is  very  singular.  We 
have  a  cousin  just  come  in,  who  asked  us  to 
speak  of  her  to  a  lady.  She  has  a  large  pleas- 
ant cottage,  and  a  good  servant ;  do  see  her." 


LEANING   ON  JESUS.  63 

I  saw  licr.  She  begged  me  to  go  and  look 
at  the  apartments.  Tlie  chairman  was  ready 
to  take  me  anywhere.  The  evening  was  beau- 
tiful, and  I  arrived  at  the  cottage  long  before 
the  mistress.  I  found  a  large  delightful  upper 
room,  with  bay  window,  and  a  charming  bed- 
room, in  great  order  and  cleanliness.  I  engaged 
them  of  the  servant,  and  returned  home  glori- 
fying God!  The  following  morning  I  took 
possession  of  my  new  tent,  and  again  my 
health  was  restored  in  a  few  days  to  its  former 
state. 

The  glory  of  the  harvest  set  in ;  it  was  a 
month  of  golden  beauty.  One  morning  at  ten 
o'clock  I  set  off,  with  my  books  and  tracts,  into 
the  harvest  fields.  I  threaded  a  long  shady 
lane,  turning  into  the  fields  where  I  saw  the 
laborers,  and  about  noon  found  myself  at  a 
bend  of  the  road,  in  a  plain  —  this  same  plain 
where  I  had  longed  to  work  among  the  cot- 
tages !  I  sat  down  and  almost  wept  with 
joy.  Did  I  not  go  on  ?  No :  I  had  my  service 
close  at  hand.  It  was  enough  for  to-day  to 
\praise. 


64      THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

Nearly  every  morning  I  set  forth.     Every 
where  doors  opened,  and  glad  welcomes  greeted 
me. 

One  morning  the  strongest  inclination  seized 
me  to  go  to  the  town  for  some  i^iu-chases  that 
seemed  iijdispensable,  though  I  had  praj^ed 
much  to  be  helped  on  the  plain.  I  am  assured 
it  was  a  device  of  Satan  ;  for  it  was  only  in  the 
clear  blaze  of  this  hot  sun  that  I  had  strength 
to  walk  or  speak.  I  waited  when  I  began  to 
suspect  the  enemy,  and  felt  it  was  better  to  be 
still  and  do  nothing,  than  do  wrong. 

At  last  it  came  clearly  that  m}'"  way  was  to 
the  harvest  field.  The  conflict  had  made  me 
later  in  leaving,  so  that  it  was  nearly  noon 
before  I  had  gone  through  the  field  and  entered 
the  plain.  I  was  growing  very  weary,  and 
looked  out  for  a  cottage  where  I  could  perhaps 
procure  some  milk.  I  was  at  a  loss  whither  to 
bend  my  steps,  when  I  saw,  on  a  bank  near, 
a  girl  knitting.  On  inquiry,  she  told  me  that 
a  little  further  on  there  were  two  paths,  and 
if  I  took  the  one  to  the  left,  it  would  lead  me 
to  a  dairyman's.     I  was  hoping  the  girl  would 


LEANING   ON  JESUS.  66 

accompany  me,  for  the  direction  was  vague. 
I  was  weary,  and  the  heat  was  excessive ;  but 
she  was  sullen,  and  would  scarcely  give  me  an 
answer,  and  refused  any  further  information. 

There  were  many  roads,  and  I  could  not  see 
any  house  near ;  but  on  crossing  the  field,  two 
paths  diverged,  and  in  the  shelter  of  an  or- 
chard I  saw  the  chimneys  of  two  cottages.  I 
hastened  down  a  path  before  I  remembered 
that  I  had  not  asked  the  Lord  to  direct  me, 
but  immediately  retraced  my  steps,  and  asked 
his  Spirit's  guidance,  and  found  myself  in  the 
same  direction. 

I  am  minute  in  these  particulars,  because  I 
learned  a  lesson  practically^  that  in  no  other 
way,  I  think,  is  taught  so  as  to  be  useful. 

At  the  end  of  this  path  was  a  wicket  gate. 
I  was  crossing  an  old-fashioned  garden,  when 
I  met  a  young  woman.  I  told  her  I  wanted 
to  find  the  cow-keeper's,  that  I  might  procure 
some  milk,  and  I  beKeved  that  was  the  cot- 
tage. 

God  only  knows  what  a  trial  of  faith  it  was 
when  she  told  me   the  other   was   the   cow- 


66  TilE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

keeper's.  The  trial  was,  not  my  exhaustion, 
but  in  suspecting  that  I  had  after  all  walked 
according  to  nature,  and  not  by  the  Spirit. 
She  saw  that  my  countenance  fell,  and  pointed 
out  the  road  very  kindly.  I  had  a  little  book, 
and  I  felt  I  must  give  it  to  her,  though  I  had 
kej)t  it  for  whoever  gave  me  the  milk,  as  I  had 
no  money  with  me.  I  turned,  with  sorrow  in 
my  heart,  to  retrace  my  steps  once  more,  when 
the  girl  hastily  followed  me,  saying,  if  I  would 
go  through  their  homestead  I  could  reach  the 
cow-keeper's  in  half  the  time.  Again  I  turned 
back,  and  went  through  a  court  that  opened 
into  the  dairy.  I  made  known  my  request, 
and  was  rudely  refused ;  and  wondering  in  my 
heart  what  it  all  meant,  I  left  the  cow-keeper's, 
purposing  to  rest  on  the  wayside  until  I  could 
get  back  to  my  lodgings.  O  faithess  heart! 
the  Lord  was  working^  and  I  could  not  trust 
him. 

The  young  woman  was  leaning  on  the  wicket 
gate,  evidently  watching  for  me,  and  accosted 
me  as  I  bent  my  head  in  passing. 

She  said,  with  some  hesitation,  "  My  mother, 


LEANESTG   OISI    JESUS.  67 

jia'am,  has  been  watching  you  from  the  u'in- 
dow.  She  said  to  me,  '  Mary,  that  lady  looks 
very  ill  and  tired.  Go  out  and  ask  her  if  she 
will  rest,  and  let  us  offer  her  M-hat  refreshment 
we  have.'  " 

My  heart  was  full.  I  Icnew  the  Lord  had 
gone  before  me.  I  entered  that  clean,  cool 
cottage,  with  feelings  which  those  only  can 
understand  who  take  rest,  and  food,  and  wel- 
come, from  the  Lord  God. 

It  was  the  brightest  cottage  I  ever  entered. 
The  brass  and  copper  that  hung  over  the  large 
open  fireplace,  the  white  walls,  the  bright  case- 
ment overhung  with  honej'suckles,  the  snowy 
curtain,  the  polished  chairs,  and  the  sheltering 
trees  over  the  roof,  made  it  a  sweet  rest  to 
the  weary  pilgrim  in  the  heat  of  a  September 
noon. 

A  pale-faced  woman,  old-fashioned  in  appear- 
ance and  gentle  in  her  manners,  had  already 
spread  a  clean  cloth  on  a  table,  and  was  pre- 
paring a  meal.  Home-made  bread  and  cheese 
were  placed  before  me,  and  as  I  sat  down, 
mother  and  daughter  stood  by.     The  blessing 


t)8  THE   SECEET    OF   THE   LORD. 

was  a  very  long  one  for  a  "  grace  before  meat," 
but  my  hosts  stood  in  silent  reverence  while  I 
asked  a  blessing  on  their  home.  The  face  of 
the  mother  was  bathed  in  tears  ;  the  daughter 
never  took  her  eyes  from  my  face.  Oh,  my 
sweet,  sweet  Lord  !  what  a  welcome  he  gave 
me  there  !  So  I  ate  of  their  food,  and  rested 
quietly ;  for  with  genuine  hospitality  to  a 
weary  traveler  they  left  me  alone. 

After  a  time  the  daughter  returned  and 
removed  the  table  ;  and,  strengthened  and  re- 
freshed, I  spoke  of  my  beloved  Master.  The 
mother  wept  silently.  Then  addressing  the 
daughter,  I  pleaded  with  her  for  Jesus.  She 
listened  attentively,  and  asked  me  a  question 
or  two  that  showed  an  unquiet  mind.  The 
afternoon  had  gone  before  I  could  leave  them. 
Then  the  woman  rose,  sa3dng, 

"  God  has  sent  you.  Oh,  how  my  husband 
would  love  to  speak  to  you  !  He  is  one  who 
loves  your  Lord." 

"  And  you  ?  "  I  inquired. 

"  Yes,"  she  said  sadly  ;  "  but  I  have  lived  a 
•ong   way  from   him,  though   knowing  him. 


LEANING  ON  JESUS.  69 

But  you  have  done  me  good.  Will  you  come 
some  day  when  my  husband  is  at  home  ?" 

I  found  that  he  was  only  at  home  in  the 
evening,  so  I  felt  it  was  not  possible,  as  I  could 
not  walk  in  the  evening  :  but  I  promised  to  go 
again  if  the  Lord  would  send  me. 

Accordingly,  in  the  middle  of  the  following 
week,  I  went.  The  mother  was  alone.  She 
greeted  me  with  such  joy,  that  at  first  she 
could  hardly  speak.  She  said  the  words  I  had 
been  led  to  speak  to  her  daughter  had  been 
greatly  blessed,  and  her  own  soul  had  been  re- 
vived. Her  husband  longed  to  see  me  ;  but  it 
was  in  the  busy  harvest  season,  so  we  saw  no 
prospect  of  that.  I  called  several  times,  and 
as  I  went  to  and  fro  my  heart  sang  songs  of 
joy.     Jesus  walked  with  me. 

One  day  I  was  detained  on  the  road  so  late 
that  it  was  afternoon  before  I  reached  the  cot- 
tage. I  knocked  at  the  open  door,  and  then 
entered.     There  I  saw  a  harvest  laborer. 

"  This  is  our  lady,  John,"  was  my  introduc- 
tion ;  and  there  was  no  necessity  to  ask  who 
he  waa,  for  they  had  told  me  that  he  loved  my 


70      THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

Lord.  And  if  God  ever  sealed  the  face  of  one 
of  his  own  in  this  mortal  flesh,  the  seal  was 
on  the  face  of  this  son  of  toil. 

The  heat  of  the  day  had  been  intense,  and 
he  had  returned  home  to  take  his  meal,  and 
rest  till  eve.  Truly  he  was  taught  of  God.  I 
had  blessed  communion  with  him.  Jesus  was 
indeed  there,  and  I  traced  his  love  in  giving 
me  full  measure,  pressed  down  and  running 
over,  from  the  fountain  of  his  fullness  that 
day. 

As  I  rose  to  leave,  after  praying  together, 
he  sat  a  few  minutes  silently ;  then  rising,  he 
came  towards  me,  and  taldng  my  hand  in  both 
of  his  own,  he  bowed  over  it  Uke  any  old 
courtier,  and  the  blessing  he  breathed  fell  on 
my  soul  hke  dew  from  heaven.  The  tears 
were  in  his  eyes.  I  have  seldom  seen  such  an 
expression  —  never  above  once  or  twice  in  my 
Hfe. 

"  If  we  never  meet  again,  madam,  on  this 
earth,  I  look  for  you  before  the  Lamb  slain,  in 
heaven's  glory."  So  we  parted,  all  hoping  to 
have  another  meeting  here.     B  -"t  when  I  re- 


LEANTNG   ON  JESUS.  71 

turnoci  to  my  lodgings  a  letter  awaite.d  me, 
which  took  me  away  at  once.  I  never  saw 
them  again. 

In  several  of  the  other  cottages  I  had  deeply 
interesting  interviews,  and  in  more  than  one  I 
found  some  of  the  Lord's  precious  jewels. 
The  wife  of  one  of  the  laborers  said  that  aJ 
through  the  winter  her  husband  rose  at  four 
o'clock  for  an  hour's  prayer  and  reading  the 
Bible,  before  he  went  out  to  his  day's  work. 
She  herself  went  out  washing.  She  slept 
heavily,  and  could  not  wake  sometimes,  so 
weary  was  she  with  her  day's  work.  Her  hus- 
band would  rise  so  quietly  as  not  to  disturb 
her,  and  when  she  opened  her  eyes,  there  he 
was,  with  the  little  candle  no  larger  than  a 
rushlight,  seeking  in  his  Bible  for  his  daily 
food.  He  labored  in  the  field  from  five  to 
five,  and  their  garden  was  tended  by  him,  and 
was  fruitful  and  in  good  order. 

I  felt  drawn  to  enter  a  hut,  at  the  end  of  a 
long  narrow  slip  of  garden.  I  laiocked  in 
vain,  and  at  last  gently  lifted  the  latch  and 
went  in.     There   sat   an   aged   woman,  bent 


72  THE   SECRET   OF  THE  LOUD. 

over  a  fire  of  withered  branches  and  dead  fern, 
whicli  burned  brightly  on  the  open  hearth. 
The  room  was  narrow  like  the  garden,  a  case- 
ment under  a  deep  eave,  and  the  fire  at  the 
extremity  of  the  chamber.  The  poor  old  wo- 
man looked  forlorn.  At  first  she  was  very 
hard  and  sharp  in  her  answers ;  but  I  have 
often  to  remember  that  broken  glass  will  cut 
the  finger  with  the  least  touch,  and  broken 
hearts  without  the  sanctifying  grace  of  God 
will  do  the  same. 

I  asked  her  to  let  me  rest ;  she  consented. 
She  was  in  trouble  for  a  sailor  son,  of  whom 
she  had  not  heard  for  very  long.  "  He  was 
such  a  good  son  —  she  had  only  him."  Then 
she  took  down  the  httle  pictures  on  the  wall, 
views  of  Constantinople  and  the  coasts  of  the 
Mediterranean,  saying,  he  always  used  to  send 
her  these  little  tokens  at  every  fresh  voyage  ; 
now  she  never  heard  fi-om  him. 

I  spoke  to  her  of  him  who  holds  the  waters 
in  the  hollow  of  his  hand,  and  told  her  in 
whom  my  soul  was  rejoicing ;  and  then  I 
pointed  her  to  Him  whose  aye  was  on  her  son 


LEANING   ON   JESUS.  73 

in  a  distant  land,  and  on  her  weeping  by  lier  lit- 
tle fire.  I  knelt  by  her,  and  prayed  for  the  ab- 
sent son.  The  poor  woman  looked  on  amazed, 
but  listened.  My  prayer  over,  I  was  leaving. 
She  looked  at  me  and  merely  asked,  "  WJio  are 
ye  f  as  if  frightened.  I  never  saw  her  again. 
I  can  only  believe  my  Lord  sent  me,  and  that 
he  heard  me. 

I  bless  God  that  he  gave  me  special  grace 
at  this  season  to  follow  him.     I  was  content  to 
sit  in  the  sunshine,  when  he  showed  me  that 
I  should  be  silent,  though  that  was  often  the 
hardest  work.     The  Lord  of  the  harvest  will 
watch  over  the  seed ;  and  certain  it  is  he  ac- 
cepts  the  willing  mind   in  obedient   service. 
Not  one  grain  of  the  harvest  will  be  lost,  and 
not  one  effort  to  please  him  will  pass  unnoticed. 
For  he  is  the    center  from  wliich   love  and 
service  spring.     Just  in  proportion  as  the  soul 
is  in  fellowship  with  the  Lord  Jesus,  in  com- 
munion with  his  will,  shall  we  trace  his  lead- 
ings, hear  his  voice,  and  "  understand  in  part" 
what  we  shall  soon  read  in   the  light  of  his 
unveiled  face.     Were  it  not  for  my  many  and 


74 


THE   SECRET   OF   THE    LORD. 


repeated  fiiilures  in  obedience,  my  faithless- 
ness, and  my  sinful  pelding  to  my  self-will, 
glorious  things  would  be  spoken  of  my  Lord 
ani  my  God. 


FELLOWSHIP.  75 


CHAPTER   IV. 


FELLOWSHIP. 


Let  us  hold  fast  the  profession  of  oiiv  faith  \\ithout  wavering ; 
for  lie  is  faithful  that  promiserl.  —  Ui:b.  x.  23. 

jHtANY  are  in  bondage  in  regard  to  fellow- 
Jjlll  sltip.  Natural  joy  has  been  mistaken  for 
\^^  communion,  when  the  feet  were  not 
walking  in  the  path  of  the  Lord  ;  while  in 
another  case,  the  joy  in  the  Lord  may  still  be 
there,  even  when  the  lips  can  only  moan  their 
sorrow.  Did  not  Jesus  say,  ''  My  soul  is  ex- 
ceeding sorrowful,  even  unto  death"  —  "If  it 
be  possible,  let  this  cup  pass  from  me"  ?  And 
shall  we  not  have  fellowship  with  the  Man  of 
Sorrows  ?  lias  he  not  cried,  "  Why  hast  thou 
forsaken  me  ?  And  will  he  not  be  very  near 
to  us,  if  the  same  cry  has  gone  up  from  the 
torn  and  tempted  heart  of  one  whom  he  loves  ? 
The  bulwark  of  the  believer's  hope  is  the 
faithf  Illness  oi  Him  who  has  called  him.  When, 


76       THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

through  our  unbelief,  we  miss  the  sight  of  the 
King  in  his  beauty,  let  us  not  follow  the  watch- 
men with  our  clamorous  grief ;  let  us  not  cry- 
to  the  daughters  of  Jerusalem  to  tell  him  our 
deBolation  ;  let  us  go  direct  to  himself,  that  he 
may  teach  us  to  profit,  and  lead  us  in  the  way 
that  we  should  go.  If  the  consciousness  of 
the  love  he  bears  us  is  blotted  by  our  unfaith- 
fulness, let  us  to  the  stronghold  of  his  cove- 
nant. He  is  not  changed ;  He  loves  us  with 
an  everlasting  love. 

Up,  mourning  soul !  though  shadows  round  thee  hover  ; 

Up  to  the  stronghold !    Clirist's  own  might  is  thine. 
Doth  danger  threaten  ?    Lo !  his  wings  shall  cover, 

And  thou  shalt  say,  "  Behold,  his  strength  is  mine!" 
In  the  sweet  radiance  of  his  presence  sun  thee, 

When  faithless  hearts  and  harsh  words  wound  thee  sore; 
Lean  on  that  loving  hreast  whose  blood  hath  won  thee 

The  right  to  rest  there  now  —  and  evermore. 

Again :  the  heart  may  be  so  absorbed  with 
its  own  natural  depravity  as  to  lose  sight  of 
the  fact,  that  it  was  for  sinners  by  nature  the 
Lamb  of  God  gave  up  his  sinless  life.  He  died 
that  in  him  we  should  be  more  than  conquer- 
ors. He  lives  to  cleanse  and  heal.  "  Though 
ye  have  lain  among  the  pots,  yet  shall  ye  be  as 


FELLOWSHIP.  77 

the  wings  of  a  dove  covered  with  s'Jver,  and 
her  feathers  with  yellow  gold," 

Your  outgoings  and  incomings,  your  trials 
and  temptations,  your  sorrows  and  struggles, 
your  hopes  and  fears,  each  secret  service,  and 
the  sacrifice  none  else  takes  knowledge  of,  are 
more  important  in  his  eyes  than  in  your  own. 
No  care  that  causes  you  one  throb  of  pain  is 
insignificant  to  him,  nor  one  joy  puerile  that 
you  would  share  with  him.  If  we  forget  this, 
the  loss  is  ours.  He  remains  the  same.  And 
that  we  do  forget  it  —  forget  Him  in  mere  ex- 
ternal labor,  or  lose  sight  of  Him  in  careless 
slumber  and  disobedience  —  my  often  sorrow- 
ing heart  knows  too  well. 

Yet  it  is  to  his  perfection  we  must  look  for 
peace,  and  not  to  oiu-  uncomeliness.  We  can- 
not make  ourselves  fair.  He  has  made  us 
fellow-heu's  with  himself  in  the  kinofdom  of 
the  Father,  and  he  has  called  us  " all  fail"  in 
his  sight.  We  are  accepted  in  the  Beloved. 
"  He  loves  me  !"  To  realize  this  is  life,  and 
power,  and  rest.  Love  to  Him  who  first  loved 
us  is  the  secret  of  the  holy  life. 


78  ^  THE   SECEET   OF   THE   LOKD. 

But  those  who  walk  with  Jesus  know  it  is 
not  always  thus.  There  are  lonely  hours  when 
he  is  not  seen  of  the  mourning  soul.  One  who 
has  never  known  the  blessings  of  sight  cannot 
comprehend  the  desolation  of  sudden  blind- 
ness. "  Truly  the  light  is  sweet,  and  a  pleas- 
ant thing  it  is  for  the  eyes  to  behold  the  sun." 
Yet  even  the  shadows  are  caused  by  the  sun, 
and  are  an  evidence  of  his  presence.  Gieat  is 
the  loss  of  the  sweet  face  of  nature,  or  of  the 
countenance  of  the  best  loved  on  earth ;  but 
what  comparison  does  this  bear  to  the  darkness 
that  hides  the  face  of  the  Beloved  ?  There  is 
no  comparison  to  it  but  a  realization  of  hell, 
from  which  we  are  delivered  by  the  Blessed. 
One  whom  this  shadow  shrouds.  Bewildered 
by  our  loss,  and  the  memory  of  the  willful  way, 
the  disobedient  or  careless  walk,  we  forget 
that  sin  has  done  the  work  that  sin  must  ever 
do,  and  blotted  out  the  consciousness  of  the 
eternal  love  of  God,  but  not  that  love  itself. 

Satan  will  suggest  that  we  have  now  for- 
feited the  favor  of  Him  whom  we  have  called 
^  Abba  ;"  that  never  more  will  he  condescend 


FELLOWSHIP.  79 

to  use  so  vile  an  instrument  for  testimony  or 
service.  Blessed  be  God !  our  great  High 
Priest  ever  liveth  to  make  intercession  for  us. 
Hush!  He  will  not  cast  you  off.  KeepsQence 
before  him,  and  hear  what  the  Lord  saith: 
"  Behold  my  hands  and  my  feet  !'* 

But  there  is  another  sense  in  which  we  feel 
deserted.  A  change  of  experience  in  the  soul, 
^vrought  by  the  power  of  the  Spirit,  and  not 
by  the  will  of  man,  should  be  carefully  exam- 
ined in  his  light.  The  watchfulness  which  it 
demands  may  cause  the  exercised  soul  to  con- 
sider her  ways,  and  perhaps  Avarn  her  from  the 
net  of  the  fowler,  or  deliver  her  from  the  snare. 
Mental  afflictions  are  not  sins,  neither  are 
temptations.  Of  the  one  he  can  heal  us,  and 
from  the  other  deliver  us.  Desolation  of  spirit 
does  not  always  spring  from  grieving  the  Holy 
Ghost ;  nor  do  I  hold  it  as  a  mark  of  displeas- 
ure from  the  Lord,  more  than  any  other  chas- 
tening, sickness,  bereavement,  etc.,  though  it 
is  the  most  severe  to  bear ;  but  it  is  discipline 
always,  and  calls  for  self-searching  and  self- 
judgment.     Those  who  live  far  off  from  God 


80  THE   SECKET    OF   THE   LORD. 

know  nothing  of  such  darkness,  and  those  who 
enjoy  most  continually  his  presence  feel  the 
withdi-awal  of  it  most  acutely. 

Nor  do  I  think  that  all  are  called  to  the 
same  participation  in  the  sufferings  of  Chiist. 
'■'  Wherefore,  let  them  that  suffer  according  to 
the  will  of  God  commit  the  keeping  of  tlieir 
souls  to  him  in  well-doing,  as  unto  a  faithful 
Creator."  1  Peter  iv.  19.  To  feel  the  heart's 
warmest  emotions  called  forth  in  fervid  utter- 
ance is  a  swift  return  for  seeldng  tlie  merc}-- 
seat ;  hut  if  we  sought  his  face  only  for  the 
joy  it  gives  us,  it  might  lead  us  at  last  to  fol- 
low him,  like  the  multitude,  for  the  loaves  and 
fishes.  Prayer  is  still  prayer ;  and  though  it 
is  barren  and  cold  in  comparison  to  our  desire, 
it  is  as  real,  and  reaches  heaven  as  sui'ely,  as  if 
it  were  rich  in  fervor  and  eloquence. 

I  believe  also  that  there  is  a  certain  desola- 
tion of  soul,  which  is  the  answer  to  prayer  for 
humihty  and  deeper  conformity  to  the  Lord, 
with  whom  we  desu-e  to  walk  more  closelj'-. 
It  is  sent  to  arouse  us  to  increased  watchful- 
ness, and  to  awaken  us  to  cry  for  fi-esh  supplies 


FELLOWSBXP.  81 

of  grace.  It  is  experimental  instruction  in  the 
ways  of  God,  and  intended  to  bring  us  into 
fuller  sympathy  with  Christ's  suffering  mem- 
bers among  whom  he  may  design  us  to  minis- 
ter. 

It  will  be  understood  that  I  am  not  dealing 
here  with  depression  resulting  from  sin  indidg- 
ed  or  sin  unrepented  of;  nor  of  failure  through 
ignorance  or  temptation ;  but  that  spiritual 
drought  and  sorrowful  depression  which  some 
of  his  faithful  followers  are  called  to  suffer  by 
the  will  of  God. 

It  may  be  that  it  is  permitted  in  order  to 
give  us  an  errand  to  the  throne ;  and,  to  the 
soul  that  lives  in  communion,  that  errand  must 
be  to  bring  a. blessing.  I  cannot  remember 
many  occasions,  since  I  have  been  led  to  seek 
for  treasures  in  darkness,  in  which  I  have  not 
found  some  precious  view  of  Christ's  suffi- 
ciency for  which  I  had  to  praise  him.  One  I 
record. 

A  day  of  special  nearness  and  enjoyment  in 
the  Lord  was  followed  by  much  such  a  trial  as 
I  have   touched  on.     A  cloud  overshadowed 


82  THE   SECBET    OF   THE   LOED. 

my  spirit.  My  heart,  that  so  late  had  been 
absorbed  in  thoughts  of  Him  I  loved,  and  of 
service  I  desired  for  his  sake,  was  now  cold 
and  dead.  And  yet  I  cannot  say  that  I  felt 
myself  deserted ;  but  as  one  left  suddenly  in 
darkness  in  a  room  before  filled  witli  golden 
sunlight.  The  room  is  the  same,  the  furniture 
is  not  displaced  ;  but  though  the  windows  may 
be  open,  the  shutters  are  closed,  and  the  lovely 
prospect  in  which  we  delighted  is  liidden. 
The  Bible  is  still  the  Word  of  God;  but  it 
seems  to  have  become  a  sealed  book.  Tlie 
promises  are  ours ;  but  we  cannot  enjoy  them. 
The  eternal  glory  is  ours ;  but  we  can  no 
longer  rejoice  in  the  thought  of  our  portion. 
Christ  is  faithful  still ;  but  we  cannot  realize 
him.  We  may  grasp  his  robe,  and  he  loiows 
who  has  touched  him,  and  how  it  is  Avith  them ; 
but  we  feel  not  the  garment  we  grasp. 

This  day  I  often  inquired,  "  Why  is  it  thus 
with  me  ? "  I  sat  before  the  Lord  that  he 
might  show  me.  The  darkest  hour  of  midnight 
heralded  the  dawn  of  his  appearing  "  in  anotlier 
form." 


FELLOWSHIP.  83 

It  was  impressed  upon  my  mind  in  these  sad 
houi's,  that  by  watching  I  should  again  see 
Jesus.  So  in  my  trouble  I  watched  for  the 
star  that  should  rise  upon  my  darloiess,  and 
point  me  to  the  object  of  my  search. 

From  early  dawn  until  evening  I  looked  for 
my  Lord  to  come  and  gladden  my  solitary  soul. 
The  sun  went  down,  but  the  Sun  of  Righteous- 
ness had  not  arisen  for  me  with  healing  in  his 
wings.  For  "  it  was  now  dark,  and  Jesus  had 
not  come"  unto  me. 

The  cottage  in  which  I  then  sojourned  was 
in  a  very  retired  part  of  the  country.  It  was 
situated  in  a  lane,  shadowed  by  elms,  then 
almost  bereft  of  their  autumnal  foliage,  and  by 
groups  of  lofty  pine.  Few  passengers  went  by, 
as  it  was  out  of  the  high  road,  bounded  on  one 
side  by  the  fields,  and  on  the  other  by  my  gar- 
den. 

Thanlvf  ul  was  I  this  day  that  I  was  alone ; 
for  I  was  sweeping  the  chambers  of  my  heart 
for  my  lost  treasure,  and  longed  for  a  messenger 
of  the  Most  High  to  bring  me  some  word  from 
him  ;  but  none  came.     I  read ;  but  the  Scrip- 


84  THE   SECEET   OF   THE   LC)RD. 

tures,  through  which  my  Lord  had  so  often 
spoken  sweet  words  of  consolation  and  giiid- 
auce,  were  sileilt. 

Late  in  the  evening  my  servant  had  gone  to 
visit  a  sick  person  in  the  neigliborhood,  and 
I  sat  alone  in  the  house,  watching  the  shadows 
deepen  into  night,  and  my  sinking  heart  still 
saying,  ''  Why  is  it  thus  with  me  ?  "'  The  deep 
stillness  was  broken  by  a  loud  hurried  knock 
at  the  outer  door.  At  another  time  I  think 
my  natural  fears  would  have  caused  me  to 
tarry ;  but  I  rose  without  hesitation  ;  for  I  had 
lost  the  light  of  my  life,  and  all  else  seemed  as 
nothing.  Before  I  could  reach  the  door,  the 
knock  was  repeated  more  vehemently.  I  in- 
quired who  was  there,  and  was  answered  by  a 
stranger's  voice,  begging  to  see  the  lady  who 
lived  there.  She  did  not  know  m}^  name,  but 
had  heard  of  me  as  an  unworthy  disciple  of  my 
gracious  Lord. 

I  opened  the  door,  and,  hastily  lighting  a 
candle,  led  the  way  into  the  drawing  room. 
The  broken  accents,  and  the  anguish  on  the 
face  of  the  stranger,  won  at  once  my  tenderest 


FELLOwsnrr.  85 

sympathy.  It  was  a  painful  case,  to  whicli  I 
listened  with  intense  interest,  and  long  before 
she  came  to  a  close,  ray  heart  had  taken  up  the 
burden  of  my  sorrowful  visitor.  She  was  a 
Christian.  Seven  years  before  she  had  fallen 
into  the  snare  of  contracting:  an  enffaijement 
with  a  man  of  the  world.  From  year  to  year 
she  had  delayed  ratifying  it,  hoping,  as  she 
told  me,  that  his  soul  would  have  been  given 
to  her  prayers.  But  it  is  not  thus  that  the 
Lord  meets  his  children's  disobedience.  He 
was  outwardly  moral  in  his  life  ;  he  was  will- 
ing to  forego  anything  she  disapproved,  and 
observe  any  outward  forms,  to  Avin  her  for  his 
wife ;  but  he  had  no  desire  or  intention  to 
change  masters,  or  to  exchange  the  slavery  of 
Satan  for  the  freedom  of  the  service  of  God  — 
that  Lord  whom  still  his  betrothed  loved, 
though  she  had  followed  him  afar  off,  in  igno- 
rance of  that  divine  command  so  clearly  writ- 
ten for  our  warning  in  2  Cor.  vi.  14-17  :  "  Be 
ye  not  unequally  yoked  together  with  unbeliev- 
ers: for  what  fellowship  hath  righteousness 
with  unrighteousness?   and  what  communion 


86      THE  SECEET  OF  THE  LORD. 

hath  Kght  with  darkness  ?  and  what  concord 
hath  Christ  with  Belial  ?  or  what  part  hath  he 
that  believeth  with  an  infidel  ?  .  .  .  .  Where- 
fore come  out  from  among  them,  and  be  ye 
separate,  saith  the  Lord." 

The  day  had  arrived  when,  knowing  hei 
resjjonsibility  by  a  clearer  knowledge  of  the 
triiih  as  it  is  in  Jesus,  she  must  either  contract 
'•'■  this  unhallowed  marriage,"  as  she  termed  it, 
or  part  with  him  she  confessed  to  love  better 
than  life,  better  than  all  but  Christ.  The 
anguish  that  convulsed  her  whole  body,  and 
the  misery  depicted  in  her  countenance  while 
this  struggle  went  on,  were  like  the  wrestle 
with  the  powers  of  evil.  And  never  had  I 
such  an  experimental  teaching  of  1  Sam.  vii. 
I  also  this  day  set  up  a  way-mark  of  my  pil- 
grimage. 

There  was  no  time  to  be  lost. 

"  You  must  give  him  up.  It  must  be  done," 
I  said,  as  I  gently  drew  her  to  her  knees  by 
my  side. 

"  But  it  will  break  my  heart,"  slie  said  de 
spairingly,  as  she  wrung  her  hands  in  the  bit- 
terness of  her  sorrow. 


FELLOWSHIP.  87 

"  Not  so  ;  Jesus  is  able  to  deliver  you,  if 
you  only  believe.  He  will  comfort  you.  We 
will  ask  liim." 

She  did  believe,  and  sbe  zvas  strengthened. 
She  rose  from  her  knees  with  that  same  blessed 
peace  stealing  over  her  which  must  have  calm- 
ed the  fearful  hearts  of  the  disciples  when,  at 
the  fourth  watch  of  the  night,  the  voice  of 
Jesus  floated  over  the  billows,  "It  is  I ;  be  not 
afraid."  In  the  power  of  the  Spirit  she  had 
cast  her  idol  fi'om  her,  and  broken-hearted  at 
the  feet  of  Jesus,  had  strength  given  her  to 
leave  all  and  follow  him. 

The  blessing  that  fell  from  the  lips  of  my 
visitor  as  we  parted  descended  like  dew  upon 
my  heart.  Could  she  divine  how  the  same 
gracious  Dehver  had  used  her  sorrows  for  my 
consolation?  When  I  had  closed  the  outer 
door  upon  her,  and  returned  to  that  room,  the 
scene  of  much  searching  of  heart  and  watch- 
ing,  and  so  lately  of  the  wondrous  power  of 
the  Lord  mighty  in  battle,  I  was  to  prove  yet 
more  marvelously  the  faithfulness  of  Him  who 
has  never  said  "  Seek  ye  my  face,"  in  vain. 


88      THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

I  can  only  compare  it  to  the  sweet  welcome 
of  a  beloved  friend  awaiting  me.  In  the  depth 
of  my  soul  rang  that  voice  that  was  never  im  - 
itated :  "  I  was  a  stranger  and  ye  took  me  in." 
The  flood  of  joy  that  filled  my  whole  being 
spreading  like  the  glory  of  day  over  the  night 
of  weeping,  left  me  praising  Him  who  so  often 
has  said  to  me,  "  Could  ye  not  watch  with  me 
one  hour?" 

A  word  concerning  my  God-sent  visitor. 
From  that  evening  she  grew  in  grace  and  in 
the  knowledge  of  the  Lord.  The  snare  was 
broken,  and  she  was  delivered.  Gracious  was 
the  Lord  in  his  dealings  with  her  —  leading 
her,  strengthening  her,  teaching  her.  From 
time  to  time  I  have  been  permitted  to  trace  his 
wondrous  work  in  her.  She  is  now  far  distant 
from  me.  Love  and  gratitude  to  the  instru- 
ment used  by  the  Lord  breathe  in  all  her  letters 
to  me,  though  years  have  gone  by.  The  praise 
with  which  she  constantly  records  new  bless- 
ings that  owe  their  birth  to  that  "  memorable 
night"  sends  me  to  the  feet  of  my  beloved 
Lord,  who  alone  knows  the  weak  and  worth- 


FELLOWSHIP.  89 

less  witness  of  his  grace.  She  constantly  im- 
presses on  me  the  necessity  of  reminding  young 
Christians  of  that  wily  snare  of  Satan  to  entrap 
the  unwary  —  the  hope  of  winning  a  soul. 
We  have  no  claim  for  protection  and  blessing 
in  a  self-constituted  service  in  the  path  of  will- 
ful disobedience.     I  use  her  own  words : 

"  One  hour  I  was  raised  np  to  the  third 
heaven,  believing  that  my  lover  was  converted, 
so  much  pains  did  he  take  to  deceive  me  ;  the 
next  day  I  was  dashed  to  earth  by  the  discov- 
ery of  his  false  pretenses.  But  he  was  dearer 
to  me  than  life  itself.  Alone  as  I  was,  I  could 
never  have  broken  the  tie  that  united  me  to 
him.  It  was  then,  even  then,  at  the  eleventh 
hour,  that  the  Lord  in  his  grace  and  mercy 
sent  his  dear  servant  to  meet  his  poor  wand- 
erer, and  by  that  grace  and  might  gave  her 
the  power  to  break  the  yoke  that  had  weighed 
so  long  upon  the  weary  one's  shoulders.  May 
the  prayers  of  that  night  be  for  ever  before  the 
Lord,  that  night  to  be  remembered  by  angels, 
and  never  to  be  forgotten  on  earth.  Not  only 
was  I  enabled  to  give  up  the  friend  I  loved  so 


90  THE   SECEET   OF   TBTE   LORD. 

fondly,  but  before  I  rose  from  my  knees  I  re- 
ceived strength  to  renounce  him,  and  then  — 
to  forget  him  !  Never  have  I  had  a  relapse." 
Much,  much  more  I  could  extract  from  her 
letters,  that  proclaims  the  loving  kindness  of 
the  Lord  to  the  upright  in  heart ;  but  to  me 
they  are  sacred  pages.  I  never  receive  them 
as  they  follow  me  in  my  pilgrimage,  but  my 
heart  is  braced  for  service,  although  strength 
comes  in  a  different  form  from  that  in  which 
I  expect  it,  and  I  exclaim.  It  is  good  to  wait 
on  thee.  "  I  found  him  whom  my  soul  loveth : 
I  held  him,  and  would  not  let  him  go."  Song 
Sol.  iii.  4. 


"  MY  INFIRMITY." 

'  Hath  God  forgotten  to  be  gracious  ?  hath  He  in  anger  shut  up  His  tea* 
der  mercies  ?    And  I  said,  This  is  my  infirmity." 
Psalm  Ixxvii.  9,  10. 

I  WEPT  by  the  misty  headland, 

Down  by  the  sea ; 
And  none  in  that  hour  of  anguish 

stood  there  by  me. 
Within  and  witliout  was  midnight; 

Wliere  once  had  been 
The  sinile  of  the  Lord  who  loved  me 

No  Lord  was  seen. 


FELLOWSHIP. 

1  said, "  On  this  earth's  wide  bosom 

I  wallc  alone; 
God  liidctli  liis  face,  I'm  forsalcen; 

All  hope  is  gone! 
I  watch  for  his  hand  in  the  shadows 

That  shroud  my  feet; 
I  listen,  and  nothing  I  hear,  save 

My  heart's  wild  beat. 

«  Cold,  drear,  is  my  soul,  and  loveless, 

Hopeless  and  dead ; 
For  God  has  departed  for  ever," 

Sadly  I  said. 
"  I  shall  never  more  bask  in  his  presence. 

Never  proclaim, 
■With  a  song  and  the  voice  of  thanksgiving, 

Jesus'  sweet  name. 

"  Yet  how  can  I  marvel  ho  leaves  me, 

Faithless  and  vain, 
To  walk  in  the  light  of  his  favor 

Never  again. 
My  heart  hath  forsaken  his  mercies 

And  mercy  is  past. 
And  my  Lord,  whom  my  sins  have  long  Avearled 

Leaves  me  at  last." 

Then,  swift  as  the  flash  of  the  lightning 

Passing  the  sky. 
Came  a  voice  like  a  dove's  in  the  woodland, 

So  tenderly; 
■WTien  father  and  mother  forsake  thee. 

Look  thou  above  ; 
The  Father  eternal  remembers 

The  child  of  his  love. 

"  The  shadows  have  gathered  around  thee. 

Bora  of  the  light  ; 
Had  the  sun  never  risen  to  warm  thee, 

Where  were  thy  night  ? 
Remember  the  sjirings  in  the  desert. 

Arid  and  tlicar  ; 
I  or  thee  hath  the  wildorness  blossomed : 

Wliy  dost  thou  fear  ? 


91 


92  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

"  There  are  treasures  beneath  the  dark  waters  i 

Seek  thou,  and  learn  : 
Hidden  riches  in  secret  places 

Thou  must  discern. 
And  think  not  he  changes  or  chides  thee  ; 

Comforts  decline, 
But  Christ  made  the  covenant  blessings 

Eternally  thine. 

"  He  gave  thee  his  promise  to  keep  thee  : 

Can  he  deceive  ? 
He  granted  his  word  and  his  Spirit ; 

Only  believe. 
He  sought  thee,  cast  out  and  forsaken; 

Bidding  thee  '  Live  ! 
He  gave  thee  the  Son  of  his  bosom  : 

More  can  lie  give  ?" 

Then  swift  on  the  purple  headland, 

Down  by  the  sea, 
The  light  that  seemed  vanished  for  ever 

Came  back  to  me  ; 
And  I  look  on  the  aiAN  CriRiST  Jesus 

On  God's  high  throne  : 
Forgive  me,  my  Father  !  I  measm-ed 

Thy  love  by  my  own. 


THE   WITNESS   OF   TIIE   SPLRIT.  93 


CHAPTER    V. 

THE  WITNESS  OF  Till  SPIRIT. 

Wlioso  is  wi?;e,  and  will  obsei-A'e  lliese  things,  even  they  shall 
understand  the  loving  kindness  of  the  Lord.     1'sal.m  evii.  43. 

iriTHEN  the  apostle  said,  "  I  put  away  child- 


ish things,"  the  Holy  Spirit  did  not  in- 
U^  elude  simple  childlike  faith  in  our  heav- 
enly Father's  care  as  one  of  the  things  to  be 
put  away. 

Tlie  witness  of  the  Spirit  is  too  little  regard- 
ed :  his  power  and  his  presence  in  the  Chiu-ch 
of  God  have  ceased  to  be  expected  and  recog- 
nized in  signs  and  wonders.  While  the  fullness 
of  the  truth  in  doctrine  has  been  set  forth,  our 
absolute  dependence  on  the  third  person  of 
the  Godhead  for  the  apphcation  of  that  truth 
to  the  hearts  and  consciences  of  men  has  not 
been^  fully  recognized.  He  is  admitted  as  an 
influence  for  blessing,  but  not  always  as  the 
One  whose  prerogative  alone  it  is  to  enlighten 


94  THE   SECRET    OF   THE   LORD. 

the  eyes  of  the  understanding,  by  impressing 
the  mind,  by  guiding  the  steps,  by  comforting 
the  heart,  and  by  warning  and  improving  the 
conscience. 

The  gifts  which  were  once  manifested  in  the 
church  of  God  are  seen  only  at  distant  inter- 
vals and  for  brief  periods.  When  they  are 
beheld,  they  create  such  suspicion  and  amaze- 
ment, as  to  beget  the  cry  that  went  out  afore- 
time against  our  blessed  Lord :  "  He  deceiveth 
the  people."  "  Neither  did  his  brethren  believe 
on  him."  And  yet  the  rivers  of  living  water, 
which  were  to  flow  from  the  hearts  of  them 
that  believed  in  Jesus,  were  promised  only 
from  the  Spirit's  life-giving  power. 

The  happiness  that  burns  in  the  heart  of 
those  who  walk  with  God  here  is  the  foretaste 
of  that  which  they  look  forward  to  enjoy  in  its 
fullness  forever,  —  to  live  with  him  in  unbroken 
fellowship  ;  to  be  like  him  ;  to  delight  in  him 
in  whom  the  Father  delighteth;  to  hear  his 
voice ;  and  to  behold  the  King  in  his  beauty ; 
never  more  the  shattered  nerve  and  quivering 
flesh  to  act  as  a  cloud  on  the  perception,  oi 


THE   WITNESS   OF   THE   SPIRIT.  95 

the  shadow  of  sin  to  obscure  the  free  revela- 
tion of  himself.  Oh,  this  is  bliss  unutterable  I 
And  now,  even  now,  witli  eyes  and  ears  so 
i^ften  dull,  and  heart  and  feet  so  often  failing, 
is  not  this  the  desire  born  of  the  Spirit  in  the 
heart,  —  to  "  follow  the  Lamb  whithersoever 
hegoeth"? 

And  you  who  read,  is  this  your  desire? 
Then  lose  not  the  blessed  privilege  which  he 
has  given  you  of  approaching  the  King  at  all 
seasons.  Assure  yourself  continually  of  your 
oneness  with  liim,  and  welcome  the  witness  of 
the  Holy  Spirit  in  your  heart.  "  And  hereby 
we  know  that  he  abideth  in  us,  by  the  Spirit 
which  he  hath  given  us."  1  John  iii.  24.  If 
you  do  this,  you  will  find  a  speech  and  language 
in  things  otherwise  indifferent,  but  in  which 
he  delights  to  reveal  himself  to  them  that  love 
him.  Do  not  I  fill  heaven  and  earth  ?  saith  the 
Lord.     Jer.  xxiii.  24. 

JNIany  a  sweet  love  message  will  then  be  dis- 
tinct to  your  heart,  and  tokens  of  his  guidance 
and  tender  care  will  be  read  in  his  light ;  and 
these  oftentimes  fi-om  sources  insignificant  and 


96  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

contemptible  to  those  who  are  wise  in  their 
own  estimation.  In  the  presence  of  the  Holy- 
Ghost,  in  the  temple  of  God,  there  is  nothing 
common  or  unclean ;  for  "  God  is  light,  and  in. 
him  is  no  darkness  at  all.  If  we  say  that  we 
have  fellowship  with  him,  and  walk  in  dark- 
ness, we  lie,  and  do  not  the  truth.  But  if  we 
walk  in  the  light,  as  he  is  in  the  light,  we  have 
fellowship  one  with  another,  and  the  blood  of 
Jesus  Christ  his  Son  cleanseth  us  fi-om  all  sin." 
"  As  many  as  are  led  by  the  Spirit  of  God,  they 
are  the  sons  of  God ;"  and  he  has  said,  "  In  all 
thy  ways  acknowledge  liim,  and  he  will  direct 
thy  paths." 

The  Lord  is  not  acknowledged  in  all  the  ways 
of  his  people,  and  therefore  they  remain  in  sad 
uncertainty  whether  he  does  dh-ect  their  paths. 
It  is  not  to  acknowledge  him  in  all  our  ways, 
ask  for  light  upon  our  path  and  then  to  neglect 
the  watchfulness  needful  to  follow  him  in  it. 
We  are  not  to  do  the  Lord's  work  deceitfully 
(negligently),  and  when  we  eat  the  fruit  of 
our  own  foil}'  to  sa}^  "  It  is  the  Lord."  "  Thou 
shalt  be  perfect  [margin,  upright,  sincere]  with 


THE   WITNESS   OF   THE   SPIBIT.  97 

the  Lord  thy  God."  Deut.  xviii.  13-  From  a 
lack  of  the  witness  of  the  Spirit,  they  who  are 
thus  negligent  lose  the  blessed  companionship 
of  a  Friend  who  sticketh  closer  than  a  brother ; 
One  in  whose  wisdom,  and  faithfulness,  and 
power,  they  may  alone  continually  and  safely 
confide.  The  natural  heart  would  have  secrets 
of  its  own  ;  it  would  fain,  if  it  could,  keep  out 
of  its  counsels  the  Lord  who  searcheth  it,  and 
hide  its  ways  from  him.  Fear,  and  shame,  and 
linbelief,  clothe  the  God  whose  name  is  love 
with  the  attributes  of  vengeance  to  the  sinner. 
The  soul  rejoicing  in  salvation  rests  even  in 
tribulation  on  the  faithful  love  of  liim  whose 
eyes  are  over  the  righteous,  and  whose  ears  are 
open  to  their  prayers.  Have  you  been  tried 
by  oppression  and  misconception,  where  you 
thouglit  you  had  the  best  right  to  look  for 
kindness  and  sympathy?  Aclmowledge  him 
in  it,  and  he  will  show  you  that  the  hearts  of 
men  can  be  turned  by  his  Almighty  power,  or 
used  as  the  means  to  hedge  up  your  way. 
Christ's  love  changes  not :  it  is  a  blessed  real- 
ity.    Barter  not  his  precious  smile,  his  sweet 


98  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LOED. 

companionsliip,  for  any  earthly  possession. 
Child  of  God !  communion  with  the  Father 
and  the  Son  is  your  birthright. 

There  is  no  uncertainty  as  to  lohat  path  the 
Lord  has  undertaken  to  direct ;  for  he  has 
written,  "all  thy  paths."  Not  only  in  the 
dark  way,  when  we  are  j)erplexed;  not  only 
when  the  heart  is  in  heaviness  through  mani- 
fold temptations;  but  also  when  we  tarry  in 
the  pleasant  shade  of  Elim's  palm  trees,  as  well 
as  by  Marah's  bitter  waters ;  yea,  all  our  ways 
he  will  direct  and  guide,  as  every  day's  need 
requires. 

The  holy  inspired  Word  is  the  revelation  of 
himself  to  man,  from  the  sacrifice  of  Abel  to 
the  unveiling  of  the  glory  on  Tabor's  moun- 
tain, and  the  forty  days'  sojourn  on  earth. 
The  world  he  has  created  is  but  one  vast  arena 
on  which  he  is  displayed.  "  The  heavens 
declare  the  glory  of  God,  and  the  firmament 
showeth  his  handiwork."  He  is  seen  iii  the 
earth  and  the  fullness  thereof;  in  the  sea  and 
all  that  is  therein.  Not  one  form  of  insect-life 
can  be  withdj  awn  withe  ut  marring  the  great 


THE    WITNESS   OF   THE   SPUIIT.  99 

whole ;  nor  can  anything  be  added  to  its  per- 
fection. "  He  hatli  made  all  things  beautiful 
in  their  time." 

The  ant,  the  coney,  the  spider,  he  uses  as 
our  instructors.  The  raven,  the  eagle,  and  the 
dove,  are  ministers  of  his.  The  palmerworm, 
the  fly,  the  frog,  the  grasshopper,  are  part  of 
liis  great  army,  "uhich  carries  destruction  to 
his  enemies,  and  chastening  to  his  people. 
Nor  is  there  anything  his  hand  has  formed 
fi-om  Lebanon's  cedar  to  the  minutest  lichen 
in  our  own  land,  which  may  not  in  turn  become, 
through  the  power  of  the  Spirit,  our  teacher, 
leading  us  to  profit.  When  the  circumcised 
ear  is  turned  to  listen  to  the  Lord,  with  whom 
there  is  fellowship,  then  common  events  and 
natural  objects  become  spiritual  parables. 

The  soul  that  seeketh  him  shall  find  him 
eveiywhere,  and  rest  continually  in  the  realized 
sanctuary  of  his  presence  —  the  rock  of  the 
heart !  Well  may  he  exclaim,  "  O  fools,  and 
slow  of  heart  to  believe  all  that  the  prophets 
have  spoken  !"  when  it  is  written  that  "  liis 
delights  were  with  the  sons  of  men."     He  is 


100  THE   SECRET   OF   THE  LOKD. 

more  desirous  to  give  than  we  are  to  receive 
that  deep  and  full  communion  which  he  offers 
us,  as  fi'ee  as  salvation,  without  money  and 
without  price. 

I  was  very  happy  in  a  place  to  which  the 
Lord  had  called  me.  I  had  also  the  occasional 
rare  enjojTuent  of  communion  with  one  who 
walked  in  the  light  of  his  countenance.  The 
winter  had  been  a  time  of  suffering,  but  the 
early  summer  was  breaking  upon  us,  restoring 
me  to  some  measure  of  health,  and  I  looked 
forward  to  usingf  it  in  his  ser\dce. 

One  afternoon  I  sat  in  the  sunshine,  the 
valley  at  my  feet,  and  the  balmy  breeze  from 
the  distant  sea  stealing  over  the  May  flowers. 
I  felt  soothed  and  invigorated,  and  never  had 
my  little  tent  in  the  wilderness  seemed  so  de- 
sirable. The  Lord  had  blessed  me  there.  My 
heart  was  glad,  for  the  Lord  had  made  it  joy- 
ful. 

Suddenly,  in  the  stillness,  I  felt  m}^  spirit 
di-awn  into  the  condition  of  listening,  and  the 
impression  came  strongly  on  my  mind  that  I 
had  tarried  long  enough  in  this  place  ;  I  must 


THE  WITNESS   OF   THE   SPIKIT.  101 

now  arise  and  follow  Ilini.  I  strove  to  set  it 
aside  ;  it  seemed  so  opposed  to  the  purposes 
for  which  I  fondly  hoped  I  had  been  raised 
from  sickness  into  comparative  health ;  but 
there  it  lay  like  a  cloud  upon  the  fair  prospect 
before  me.  It  was  contrary  to  my  natural 
taste  to  leave  this  spot,  and  there  seemed  noth- 
ing in  opposition  to  faith  in  remaining.  So  I 
waited  before  the  Lord,  desiring  to  do  his  will 
when  it  was  made  evident  to  me.  I  asked  to 
see  my  way  straight  before  my  face. 

Later  in  the  day  I  saw  my  friend,  and  said 
to  her,  "  I  think  it  is  the  Lord's  will  that  I 
should  leave  you,  and  go  to  the  place  that  he 
will  show  me." 

Great  was  the  opposition  I  met  with.  "  It 
is  Satan,"  she  exclaimed  impetuously.  "  He 
Bees  the  blessing  here,  and  he  has  put  it  into 
your  mind  to  go  away." 

This  indeed  was  a  fiery  dart  of  the  wicked 
one,  and  one  to  which  I  have  not  very  often 
been  subject.  Job's  wife  was  used  by  Satan 
to  tempt  him,  and  the  friend  who  walked  with 
God  was  used  to  try  me,  and  prove  again  that 


102  TUB   SECflET   OF   THE  LOED. 

the  treasure  is  "in  earthen  vessels,  that  the 
excelleney  of  the  power  may  be  of  God,  and 
not  of  us."  The  temptation  to  listen  to  her 
was  the  greater,  because  she  had  followed 
Jesus  for  many  years,  and  I  for  only  three. 

There  is  an  extensive  service  for  the  weakest 
of  the  family,  who  are  circumcised  in  heart 
and  spirit,  and  who  seek  not  praise  of  men. 
Let  none,  then,  be  discouraged ;  nevertheless, 
their  faith  must  not  stand  in  the  wisdom  of 
men,  but  in  the  power  of  God.  I  find  my  need 
continually  to  be  reminded  of  this.  That  ser- 
vice has  been  the  most  blessed  Avhich  I  have 
received  direct  from  the  Spirit  of  Truth, — 
when,  like  Paul,  I  have  not  waited  to  confer 
with  flesh  and  blood.  "Neither  told  I  any 
man  what  my  God  had  put  into  my  heart  to 
do,"  has  often  been  one  of  the  secrets  of  suc- 
cess in  service,  seen  onl}^  by  himself. 

The  source  of  life  in  the  body  is  hidden ;  we 
only  see  the  results.  The  breath  of  the  life  of 
Christ  hidden  in  the  soul  sets  in  motion  the 
spiritual  creature :  the  effects  are  felt  and  seen, 
but  the  life  is  hid  with  Christ  in  God.     Our 


THE  AYITNESS   OF   THE   SPIRIT.  103 

Belf-seeking  and  lack  of  subjection,  our  little 
quietude  and  patient  waiting,  hinder  the  fruit 
for  others,  and  leave  the  soul  barren  and  un- 
fruitful towards  God.  "Work  begun,  continued, 
and  ended,  without  any  knowledge  that  the 
work  for  God  is  really  of  liim,  or  acceptable 
to  him  —  work  done  without  any  communion 
with  him  in  its  details — may  still,  by  God's 
long-suffering  grace,  be  blessed  to  others,  but 
it  is  not  blessed  to  the  servant. 

I  met  with  great  opposition  fi-om  my  friend. 
From  this  day  I  rapidly  lost  my  strength. 
This  I  felt  was  the  hand  of  God;  so  I  pro- 
posed to  make  the  matter  a  subject  of  special 
prayer,  that  I  might  understand  the  will  of  the 
Lord  concerning  me.  My  friend  left  me,  un- 
convinced that  the  Lord  would  have  me  leave 
the  place  to  which  he  had  called  me  ;  and  pro- 
mised to  see  me  on  the  morrow.  "  The  way  of 
the  Lord  is  strength  to  the  upright." 

Next  morning  she  met  me  with  her  heart 
subdued  to  his  will,  but  still  reluctant  to  give 
me  up  at  once.  "  Yes,  it  is  all  true,"  she  said 
sadly;   "you  must  go,  but  I   think  not  just 

yet." 


104     THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LOED. 

However,  I  prepared  for  my  departure  a  few 
days  later.  A  letter  readied  me  from  a  Chris- 
tian lady,  suggesting  my  going  for  change  of 
air  to  the  neighborhood  where  she  was  resid- 
ing. I  had  lost  my  strength  so  rapidly,  that  I 
was  thankful  that  the  place  proposed  was 
within  an  easy  distance,  which  I  might  ac- 
complish without  much  fatigue. 

The  set  time  being  fully  come,  I  went.  I 
called  on  the  lady  to  learn  where  my  lodgings 
were  situated.  As  I  waited  for  her  in  the 
drawing-room,  feeling  very  weary  and  ill,  Satan 
took  occasion  to  tempt  me  by  suggesting  that 
this  was  not  my  place  ;  that  I  had  left  the  one 
designed  for  me,  the  pleasant  little  resting- 
place,  and  the  service  suitable  to  my  weak 
hand,  and  had  moreover  refused  to  be  guided 
by  my  wise  and  loving  friend,  who  knew  the 
way  of  the  Lord  better  than  I  did.  In  the 
midst  of  this  fierce  onset,  a  large  stone  was 
thrown  with  violence  against  the  window  be- 
hind me,  and  the  glass  lay  shattered  around. 
With  a  cry  of  pain  I  lifted  my  sinking  heart 
to  the  Lord.     I  dare  not  write  the  rebellious 


THE   WITNESS   OF   THE   SPIRIT.  105 

tliouglits  that  rushed  through  my  mind,  soon 
to  be  put  to  flight  at  the  word  of  my  faitlifnl 
God. 

"  Wherefore^'''  I  cried,  "  wherefore  thls^  O 
Lord  ?"  Instantly  it  was  brought  to  me,  that 
"  this  also  Cometh  from  the  Lord  of  Hosts,  who 
is  wonderful  in  counsel  and  excellent  in  work- 
ing," though  my  thoughts  did  not  run  in  the 
exact  words  of  Scripture. 

I  felt  sure  that  the  tender  Guide  of  my 
pilgrim  way  would  not  have  permitted  an  ad- 
ditional trial  of  my  faith,  or  an  added  pain  to 
my  suffering  body,  were  it  not  that  he  had  a 
purpose  to  fulfill  for  his  own  glory,  in  which 
also  I  might  know  him,  and  the  power  of  his 
resurrection,  and  the  fellowship  of  his  suffer- 
ings, that  I  might  be  made  conformable  unto 
his  death ;  and  thus  for  me  my  loss  was  gain. 

I  pressed  my  hand  firmly  on  my  heart,  and 
prayed  him  to  calm  and  still  the  throbbing 
pulse  of  pain.  He  did  so.  Before  the  lady 
had  entered  the  room,  I  had  returned  again  to 
the  peaceful  position  of  rest,  and  I  could  say, 
*'  Happy  are  thy  servants  which  stand  contiu' 


l06  THE   SECRET   OF    THE  LOED. 

ualljj  beio/e  tliee."  "  But  thou,  O  Lord,  art 
a  shield  for  me,  and  the  lifter-up  of  my  head." 
Now  was  the  time  to  watch.  The  culprit  of 
tL3  broken  window  lived  in  a  lane,  through 
which  we  passed  to  my  lodgings.  The  lady 
•  proposed  accompanying  me,  and  calling  on  the 
way  to  make  a  complaint  against  the  boy  to 
his  parents.  The  cottage  was  pointed  out.  I 
declined  to  enter,  and  stood  without.  After 
some  time  had  elapsed  the  door  was  opened. 
My  friend  came  out  first,  and  on  the  threshold 
of  the  door  stood  a  tall,  j)ale,  stern-looldng 
woman,  with  a  countenance  in  which  anger 
seemed  mingled  with  bitterness  of  spirit.  I 
cannot  describe  the  effect  of  her  appearance 
upon  me.  Like  a  roll  of  mighty  waters  came 
the  voice  of  Him  who  had  called  me  to  follow 
him  — 

"  Therefore!'' 

I  kept  all  these  things,  and  pondered  them 
in  my  heart,  "  neither  told  I  any  one." 

I  had  lately  experienced  the  additional  trial 
of  seeking  guidance  from  man.  It  is  not  well 
always   to  reveal   the    counsel   of  the    Lord. 


THE  WITNESS   OF  THE   SPHIIT.  107 

When  tempted  to  speak  iinacUdsedly  and  sin 
with  my  lips,  my  loss  has  been  great.  I  have 
found  few  who  undei'stood  or  cared  for  the 
manifestation  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  and  speaking 
of  it  to  those  who  cannot  receive  it  has  occa- 
sionally been  used  by  Satan  to  lead  them  to 
imitate  the  walk  without  the  calling,  or  to 
scorn  the  divine  manifestation,  and  bring  sin 
upon  their  souls. 

A  few  days  passed.  Helped  by  the  quiet- 
ude, and  more  invigorating  air,  I  revived. 

One  afternoon  I  went  to  the  house  in  the 
lane,  feeling  assured  that  I  had  a  mission  there. 
It  might  be  only  a  few  words.  I  had  seen 
that  in  his  sight  much  doing  was  of  no  value 
without  Jdmself;  and  that  he  who  cared  for  the 
sparrow  would  care  for  me.  I  stood  at  the 
door,  content  to  do  his  will  by  the  power  of 
the  Spirit. 

After  waiting  long  on  the  step,  the  door  was 
slowly  opened  by  the  stranger,  whose  name 
even  I  did  not  Imow.  The  pale,  stern  face 
was  even  sterner  and  more  rigid.  She  recog- 
nized me  as  the  companion  of  her  visitor,  and, 


108  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

perhaps,  imagined  I  had  come  on  the  same  er- 
rand, or  one  equally  unwelcome ;  for  she  did 
not  appear  inclined  to  let  me  enter.  But  the 
Lord  is  "  able  to  subdue  all  things  unto  him- 
self." He  had  taken  me  to  the  door,  and 
opened  it ;  now  he  bade  me  enter.  I  asked 
permission  to  rest  awhile,  and  she  gave  a 
cold  assent. 

Nothing  daunted,  I  sat  down.  The  air  of 
desolation  in  the  half-furnished  room  was  in- 
describable. I  could  not  help  feeling  that  the 
occupant  had  belonged  to  a  better  position  in 
life  than  she  now  occupied.  This  proved  to 
be  the  case.  She  had  married  a  poor  man; 
her  family  were  too  "  respectable"  to  help  her; 
and  had  therefore  cast  her  off. 

She  was  cold  and  reserved,  and  but  for  the 
pity  and  sympathy  the  Lord  put  into  my  heart 
towards  her,  I  could  not  have  remained  as  an 
intruder. 

At  length  I  drew  from  her  that  her  husband 
was  at  sea,  and  she  now  feared  he  was  dead, 
so  long  had  she  been  without  any  tidings 
of  him.     She  had  six    childi-en,  only  two  of 


THE  WITNESS   OF   THE   SPIRIT.  109 

whom  coiild  earn  any  thing.     She  was  friend- 
less, and  had  no  claim  on  the  parish.     Bitter- 
ness was   in   all   her   speech,  and  the  proud 
heart  seemed  galled  and  initated  that  her  cir- 
cumstances were  disclosed  to  a  stranger's  ears. 
I  spoke,  as  the  Lord  seemed  to  guide  me, 
of  the  refuge  in  the  day  of  trouble,  and  the 
power  of  him  who  is  that  refuge.     There  was 
no  response.     I  opened  my  Bible,  and  asked 
her  if  I  should  read.     She  assented  gloomily. 
As  ■  we  proceeded,  I  found  that  she  knew,  at 
least  intellectually,  the  doctrine  of  the  cross ; 
but  of*the  peace  and  the  power  which  flow 
from  an  experimental  realization  of  the  love  of 
God  she  had  no  experience. 

I  ceased  to  read,  spoke  a  few  words  on  the 
loving  kindness  of  the  Lord,  and  asked  the 
desolate  woman  if  I  shoidd  pray.  Her  answer 
was  slower ;  she  seemed  to  hesitate.  At  length 
she  replied: 

"  If  you  likey    ^ 

I  did  like.  As  I  knelt,  I  said  to  her,  "  What 
do  you  wish  me  to  ask  the  Lord  ?  What  do 
you  want  ?  " 


110      THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

She  seemed  startled,  and  answered  abruptly, 
"  Want !  why  I  want  my  husband  to  come 
back,  or  to  know  where  he  is  ! "  But  it  was 
in  a  tone  which  seemed  almost  to  deride  the 
thought  of  going  to  the  Almighty  God  on 
such  an  errand. 

"  Kneel  with  me,"  I  said,  "  and  I  will  tell 
the  Lord." 

She  knelt.  I  pleaded  the  tender  compassion 
of  my  Father,  and  his  promise.  I  told  him,  as 
minutely  as  I  knew,  the  sad  circimistances  of 
the  poor  wife  and  mother,  and  finally  asked 
him  to  let  her  hear  of  or  from  her  absent 
husband,  if  still  in  the  body,  and  to  help  her 
now,  and  cheer  her  sorrowful  heart.  Clear 
and  strong  came  the  voice  of  the  Spirit  wit- 
nessing that  the  petition  was  of  him." 

'•''In  three  weeks  she  tvill  meet  with  him.^^ 

Before  I  rose  from  my  knees,  I  said  to  her, 
"  In  three  weeks  you  will  meet  with  him." 

She  was  silent ;  but  the  amazement  and  fear 
visible  in  her  countenance  proved  to  me  that 
she  had  not  yet  been  comforted,  and  did  not 
know  the  love  of  God.     But  he  was   in  mj 


THE   WITNESS   OF   TlIC   SPIRIT.  Ill 

heart,  and  God  is  love  ;   and  I  yearned  over 
the  forlorn  woman. 

She  kept  her  eyes  upon  my  face,  while  I 
spoke  with  the  tenderness  I  felt ;  but  no  an- 
swering emotion  lighted  her  own  countenance. 
I  rose  to  depart,  happy  in  the  tender  message 
of  my  Lord,  and  bade  her  farewell,  without 
receiving  any  response.  My  foot  had  passeil 
the  threshold ;  she  silently  followed  me,  and 
suddenly  stretched  forth  her  long  thin  arm, 
until  her  cold  hand  grasped  my  shoulder  con- 
vulsively, and  arrested  my  steps. 

The  Lord  had  smitten.  Large  tears  were 
on  her  face.  In  a  hoarse  voice  she  cried  out, 
rather  than  said,  "  You  '11  come  again  !  You  '11 
come  agam !  —  won't  you  ?  I  '11  weary  till  I 
look  on  your  face  again." 

My  heart  was  full  as  I  went  on  my  way.  It 
is  q:ood  to  trust  Him  who  alone  seeth  the  end 
from  the  beginning.  I  looked  back.  The  light 
fell  full  upon  the  tall  gaunt  figure  upon  the 
threshold.  Her  lusad  was  still  turned  in  the 
direction  of  my  steps,  but  her  arm  had  fallen 
despairingly  by  her  side,  and  then  the  door  of 
the  drearv  home  was  closed. 


112  THE   SECRET   OF   THE  LOED. 

I  visited  her  again,  and  strove  to  lead  her  to 
believe  in  the  love  of  God  to  her.  Sometimes 
she  was  cheered,  and  the  Lord  enabled  me  in 
some  degree  to  help  her.  Ten  days  had  gone 
by,  when  one  morning  a  little  rosy  child  came 
to  my  lodgings.  The  landlady  told  me  she 
had  even  then  been  long  waiting  to  see  me.  I 
bade  her  come  in,  and  recognized  the  youngest 
child  of  the  absent  sailor,  for  I  could  not  believe 
him  dead.  Bright  and  fresh  as  the  flowers 
stood  the  happy  messenger,  her  face  proclaim- 
ing that  she  was  the  bearer  of  an  important 
secret. 

"  Mother  sent  me  T^dth  this,"  she  said,  pro- 
ducing a  letter  ;  "  it  came  last  night.  Mother 
said,  ma'am,  you  would  like  that  letter ;"  and 
the  merry  eyes  twinkled  with  dehght  as  she 
watched  me  read  it. 

It  was  from  the  sailor  husband.  A  vessel, 
homeward  bound,  had  brought  it  to  the  very 
port  near  to  our  dwelling,  and  a  sailor  had 
sped  with  the  good  news,  Avith  a  sailor's  delight 
in  helping  a  messmate's  wife.  It  told  her  the 
occasion  of  his  long  silence,  breathing  strong 


TEDS  "WITNESS   OF   THE   SPERIT.  113 

affection  to  her  and  his  children  :  he  longed  to 
be  with  them  again,  and  asked  her  to  go  to 
Falmouth  to  meet  him  in  a  week  from  the  date 
of  the  letter ;  for,  wind  and  tide  permitting, 
they  should  be  in  the  harbor  by  that  time. 

Three  days  within  the  three  weeks  they  met. 
"Was  this  chance  ? 

I  went  to  her  at  once,  to  share  her  joy  and 
hasten  her  journey.  A  neighbor  agreed  to 
look  after  the  childi-en.  I  remained  until  she 
returned  with  her  long-expected  husband. 

"God  is  faithful.  The  Lord  told  us  you 
should  see  him  again,"  I  said,  as  she  came  for- 
ward to  greet  me,  her  face  beaming  with  joy. 

"  Yes  ;  but  I  did  not  believe  him  then  —  did 
not  believe  your  words." 

The  ship  was  paid  off,  and  her  husband 
joined  her.  No  sooner  had  he  arrived  than 
the  Lord  led  me  to  another  place.  "  When  I 
remember  these  things,  I  pour  out  my  soul  in 
me."     Ps.  xlii.  4. 


114  THE  SECEET   OP  THE  LOED. 


CHAPTER    VI. 

DESEET   PLACES. 

He  withdrew  Mmself  into  tlie  wilderness,  and  prayed. 
Luke  v.  16. 


j|HE  Most  High  dwelletli  not  in  temples 
made  with  hands."  The  new  heart  is  his 
abode,  and  there  the  Holy  Spirit  testifies 
his  presence,  felt,  if  not  acknowledged,  even 
by  those  who  despise  his  power.  However 
contracted  the  sphere,  however  antagonistic 
surrounding  circumstances  may  be,  let  none 
despair  of  testimony,  and  therefore  of  service. 
The  land  cannot  be  barren  through  which  the 
river  of  life  is  flowing.  Can  a  soul  be  unfruit- 
ful if  it  reahzes  fellowship  with  Jesus?  Thus 
in  the  sohtary  place  the  stranger  may  look  con- 
fidently to  the  heavenly  Boaz  to  perform  the 
kinsman's  part.  "VVe  all  know  that  in  order  to 
experience  the  weight  of  loneliness  it  is  not 
needful  to  be  alone ;  the  caverns  of  the  heart 
God  only  can  fill.     Thorns  hedge  up  the  busi- 


DESERT  PLACES.  115 

est  path,  and  even  in  the  home  circle  there 
may  be  an  isolation  of  the  spirit,  perhapii  more 
complete  than  in  a  desert  solitude. 

Such  seasons  are  offers  of  special  blessings, 
when  the  Beloved  cries,  "  Open  to  me  !  "  He 
waits  to  come  with  new  and  living  power  to 
the  soul,  in  the  tender  relationship  of  friend- 
ship. "  O  my  dove,  that  art  in  the  clefts  of 
the  rock,  in  the  secret  places  of  the  stairs,  let 
me  see  thy  countenance,  let  me  hear  thy  voiSe ; 
for  sweet  is  thy  voice  and  thy  countenance  is 
comely."'    Song  of  Solomon,  ii.  14. 

Surely  none  can  sympathize  with  his  solitary 
followers  so  well  as  he  who  has  gone  before 
them.  Remember  his  divine  capacity,  and  his 
lowly  station  on  earth,  his  pure  mind  that  en- 
dured the  contradiction  of  sinners,  and  Ms  holy 
life  that  called  forth  the  scorn  and  hatred  of 
men.  But  he  went  into  the  wilderness,  and 
there  "  prayed."  He  is  in  the  wilderness  still, 
and  he  has  allured  his  loved  ones  thither,  that 
they  may  hear  his  voice,  and  learn  more  of  his 
loving  heart  than  they  have  yet  done  in  the 
busy  activities  of  life. 


116  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

But  there  are  those  who  tread  this  sohtary 
path,  too  faintly  realizing  the  love  and  favor  of 
God.  To  them  the  wilderness  is  a  place  of 
conflict.  But  ah !  with  whom  is  that  conflict  ? 
Not  with  God,  but  with  the  powers  of  dark- 
ness — "  with  wicked  spirits  in  heavenly 
places." 

Soldiers  of  the  cross !  followers  of  the  Lamb  ! 
be  of  good  comfort ;  the  Captain  of  our  salva- 
tion will  meet  his  wounded  soldier  here.  Does 
he  command  heavy  chains  for  the  feeble  hands 
that  can  scarcely  plead  for  the  dumb  lips  ? 
Does  the  Lord  upbraid  the  weary  one  ?  Does 
he  cast  the  sinking  soul  from  his  sight  ?  Nay  ! 
He  stoops  to  wash  the  dust-stained  feet ;  He 
cleanses  the  gaping  wounds,  pours  in  the  oil  of 
his  love,  and  lays  the  drooping  head  upon  his 
breast.     "  In  all  their  affliction  he  is  afflicted." 

Be  of  good  courage,  ye  who  meet  the  enemy's 
malice  in  many  a  fierce  encounter  in  the  desert 
places.  Jesus  is  the  adversary  of  your  enemy. 
Confide  in  him :  "  Cast  not  away,  therefore, 
your  confidence,  which  hath  great  recompense 
of  reward."     As  you  live  with  him,  you  shall 


DESERT  PLACES.  117 

live  for  liim  ;  for  "  light  is  sown  for  the  right- 
eous, and  gladness  for  the  upright  in  heart." 

I  knew  a  man  of  God  who  earned  his  bread 
bj  tL3  sweat  of  his  brow.  It  was  impossible 
to  observe  him  and  not  feel  that  he  was  sepa- 
rated from  those  aroinid  him  by  the  indwelling 
of  the  Holy  Ghost.  He  told  me  in  deep  hu- 
mility, that  he  could  not  "speak  for  the  Lord," 
by  which  I  discovered  that  he  meant  that  he 
could  not  accost  strangers  on  the  subject  of 
their  personal  salvation.  If  he  could  not  speak 
to  man,  he  could  to  God ;  and  never  shall  I 
forsxet  the  first  time  I  heard  his  voice  raised  in 
supplication  and  prayer  at  a  little  wayside 
gathering.  I  knew  not  from  whom  it  proceed- 
ed, but  I  felt  that  whoever  it  was,  that  soul  had 
power  with  God. 

He  went  to  live  in  a  village  where  none 
cared  for  anything  beyond  this  present  life ;  he 
was  a  stranger  indeed  among  them.  Early  and 
late  he  labored  in  the  fields.  But  the  Lord  of 
the  whole  earth  had  ordained  a  blessing  for 
this  dark  hamlet  when  he  sent  his  servant 
there,  and  a  river  of  the  water  of  life  was  to 


118  THE   SECRET    OF   THE   LOED. 

flow  through  this  lonely  man,  unseen  by  all 
save  the  One  Avho  keepeth  Israel,  and  who 
neither  slumbers  nor  sleeps. 

Yet  for  this  ministry  the  servant  of  God  was 
not  required  to  forsake  his  calling,  but  to  fol- 
low the  Lord  in  it.  He  lived  in  a  poor  thatched 
cottage  on  the  outsldrts  of  the  village :  and 
when  his  work  was  done,  seated  by  the  low 
casement  of  his  room  in  summer  time,  he  rested 
his  weary  heart  in  close  communion  with  his 
heavenly  Friend.  Dispirited  by  intercourse 
with  the  mocker  and  profane,  he  refreshed 
himself  with  new  contemplations  of  the  cove- 
nant of  grace,  or  pondered  over  the  promises 
which  he  was  every  day  proving  for  himself  to 
be  priceless  treasures  and  constant  sources  of 
spiritual  power. 

As  he  communed  with  God  aloud,  and 
poured  forth  his  soul  in  prayer,  a  woman  of  ill 
character  passed  by  the  cottage  door;  the 
sound  of  the  stranger's  voice  arrested  her  steps, 
and  she  lingered  by  the  casement.  She  lis- 
tened. Never  before  had  she  heard  a  soul 
spealdng  to  the  God  of  its  life  in  such  glad 


DESERT   PLACES.  119 

thanksgiving  for  redemption  through  the  blood 
of  the  Crucified,  or  imagined  sucli  holy  bold- 
ness in  approaching  the  Holy  One,  by  her  un- 
sought. It  seemed  a  new  language  to  her  ears. 
The  prayer  ceased.  The  listener,  astonished, 
and  perplexed,  went  on  her  way,  and  the  soli- 
tar}''  man,  the  charge  of  angels,  lay  down  to 
sleep.  None  but  God  saw  that  tiny  rill  of  hfe 
that  followed  a  sinner's  steps,  whispering, 
"  Come ! "  "  And  let  him  that  heareth  sav, 
Come.  And  let  him  that  is  athirst  come  ;  and, 
whosoever  will,  let  him  take  the  water  of  life 
fi'eely."     Rev.  xxii.  17. 

Another  day  passed.  The  woman  again 
took  up  her  station  in  the  twilight  to  listen, 
and  the  freedom  from  condemnation  in  which 
the  stranger  rejoiced  seemed  to  bind  her  in 
chains  of  misery  unfelt  before.  Her  occupation 
was  a  degrading  one.  She  possessed  a  voice  of 
remarkable  power  and  sweetness ;  her  husband 
frequented  the  taverns  in  the  neighborhood, 
and  she  accompanied  him,  for  with  the  price 
of  his  wife's  company  and  songs  he  procured 
fi'om  the  landlord  or  liis  guests  the- liquor  that 
he  thirsted  for. 


120      THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LOED. 

Day  by  day  the  singer  marked  the  man  of 
God,  to  see  if  his  life  contradicted  his  desires 
after  holiness,  for  his  prayers  set  a  sign  upon 
him ;  she  watched  for  his  halting  week  after 
week,  but  watched  in  vain.  While  in  many  a 
conflict,  and  in  humble  brokeness  of  spirit,  this 
dweller  in  the  desert  seemed  to  himself  a  cum- 
berer  of  the  ground,  as  far  as  bringing  any 
honor  to  God  was  concerned,  yet  through  him 
flowed  the  living  stream  which  should  turn 
"  the  wilderness  into  a  standing  water,  and  dry 
ground  into  watersprings." 

God's  minister  slept,  unconscious  of  his  min- 
istry, little  dreaming  that  the  prayers  he  had 
breathed  in  the  silence  of  that  summer  evening 
were  disturbing  the  midnight  orgies  of  sinners 
to  whom  he  had  never  spoken,  and  who  had 
never  heard  of  his  existence.  The  Avoman's 
heart  was  heavy,  and  she  could  not  sing.  She 
turned  away  in  bitterness  of  spirit  from  the 
Bcene  in  which  she  had  hitherto  dwelt  content- 
edly. The  anger  of  her  husband  raged  against 
her ;  his  gains  were  gone,  and  the  means  of 
procuring  his   evening's  unholy  revelry  were 


DESERT  PLACES.  121 

over.  His  persecution  added  to  the  poor  crea- 
ture's distress,  but  it  was  as  nothing  in  com- 
parison to  the  weight  of  misery  on  her  heart. 
Heavier  and  heavier  pressed  the  burden  of  her 
sins ;  the  way  of  escape  she  knew  not ;  despair 
took  possession  of  her  soul.  Satan  now  thought 
the  prey  was  liis  own ;  he  whispered  that  "  in 
death  there  was  no  remembrance;"  but  the 
enemy  added  not,  "  and  after  death  the  judg- 
ment." 

The  heart-stricken  woman  saw  only  one  way 
of  escape  from  her  wretched  life  and  the  mem- 
ory  of  her  sins,  and  she  determined  to  rid  her- 
self of  an  existence  which  had  become  intoler- 
able to  her.  One  morning  when  she  thought 
herself  secure  from  interruption,  she  went  to  a 
neighboring  stable,  and  t3dng  a  noose  in  a  rope, 
fastened  it  securely  to  a  beam  in  the  roof,  and 
prepared  to  end  a  life  too  miserable  to  be  borne. 
But,  as  her  foot  was  on  the  edge  of  the  loft 
from  which  she  premeditated  casting  herself 
down,  the  stranger's  praise  and  thanksgiving 
for  redemption  thi'ough  the  precious  blood  of 
Jesus  came  flowing  into  her  mind,  and  arrested 


122     THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

her.  She  knelt;  she  repeated  again  and  again 
the  words  of  the  prayer  which  had  taken  her 
captive :  such  sweetness  came  with  the  words, 
"Redeemed!  pardoned  through  the  precious 
blood  of  God's  dear  Son !  "  As  if  the  flood- 
gates of  her  tears  had  opened  the  way  for 
prayer,  it  poured  forth  in  a  wondrous  tide. 
The  sinner  wept  at  the  feet  of  Jesus !  The 
prey  was  taken  from  the  mighty.  Hour  after 
hour  went  by,  and  she  heeded  it  not;  and 
dajdight  had  faded  into  evening  before  her 
new-born  joy  allowed  her  to  perceive  that  the 
day  was  spent,  and  she  was  saved. 

When  the  servant  of  the  Lord  returned  to 
his  dwelhng,  it  was  to  find  a  rejoicing  child  of 
the  faith  awaiting  him,  the  fruit  of  those  days 
that  seemed  of  no  account,  save  that  he  walked 
in  fellowship  -with  Jesus.  He  had  lived  near 
the  fountain  ;  the  stream  that  flowed  in  refresh- 
ment through  his  own  soul  had  given  life  to 
the  weary  one  without.     John  iv.  14. 

Year  after  year,  from  many  a  prayer-meeting 
arose  the  voice  of  the  rescued  minstrel,  clear 
and  strong,  in  strains  of  praise  to  the  Lord  and 


DESERT   TLACES.  123 

Giver  of  life.  And  not  alone.  Pier  husLand 
was  by  her  side,  the  first  to  give  heed  to  her 
words,  and  to  believe  her  witness  to  the  Lord's 
long-suffering  mercy  towards  herself.  Heaven 
alone  can  declare  the  harvest  of  that  lonely 
man  who  walked  with  God. 

Have  you  not  shrunk  from  desert  places, 
whether  in  the  city's  solitude  or  elsewhere, 
and  yet  found  that  the  Lord  there  revealed 
himself  in  a  manner  that  no  other  circumstance 
could  have  afforded? 

Has  he  not  there  proved  better  and  dearer 
to  you  than  ten  friends,  and  has  not  the  wil- 
derness rung  with  songs  of  heaven?  There 
yon  have  had  some  new  communication  with 
the  Lord  you  loved  ;  and,  like  Jacob  in  his 
desert  solitude,  exclaimed,  "  This  is  none  other 
than  the  house  of  God,  and  this  is  the  gate  of 
heaven." 

I  have  had  some  experience  of  desert  places 
in  my  wanderings :  they  have  ever  been  pro- 
ductive of  richest  blessings.  When,  by  the 
grace  of  God,  I  have  been  able  to  look  to  Jesus, 
and  to  Jesus  only,  he  has  made  the  wilder- 


124     THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

ness  and  the  solitary  place  glad  for  ine,  and 
caused  the  desert  to  rejoice  and  blossom  as  the 
rose. 

Subjection  is  a  needful  requirement  to  meet 
the  mysterious  dealings  of  the  Lord.  The  will 
must  be  given  up,  not  only  as  to  place,  but 
as  to  manner  of  service  ;  and  this  is  often  the 
Isaac  last  laid  upon  the  altar. 

Rocks  intervene  which  hide  the  Shepherd 
from  the  sheep,  but  never  the  sheep  from  the 
Shepherd.  His  wisdSm  apportions  what  shall 
be  fitting  for  growth  and  health.  The  foot- 
steps of  the  flock  are  traced  often  on  the  ridges 
of  the  mountain  path  ;  the  herbage  is  scanty 
there,  and  they  are  often  bleating  for  him  who 
is  not  far  off. 

I  narrate  the  following  incident,  trusting  to 
the  Lord  to  bless  it  to  some  member,  as  feeble 
as  myself,  who  may  be  cast  in  desert  places. 

I  was  in  a  position  of  peculiar  discomfort, 
surrounded  by  careless  worldings,  without  any 
Christian  companionship.  Physically  I  was 
unfitted  for  any  outward  service,  and  I  missed 
the  quietude  needful  for  calm  meditation.  For 


DESERT   PLACES.  125 

days  together  I  could  not  write  or  read,  and 
often  it  was  an  effort  to  think  or  pray. 

My  beloved  Lord  had  so  unmistakably  placed 
me  in  this  position,  that  I  could  confidently 
rely  upon  his  purpose  being  fulfilled  ;  though 
what  that  purpose  was,  excepting  the  discipUue 
of  an  often  impatient  will,  I  knew  not. 

Waiting  hours  are  seed-times  of  blessing. 
But  it  is  often  the  fourth  watch  of  the  night 
ere  we  say,  "  It  is  good  to  wait  on  thee."  "  I 
waited  patiently  for  the  Lord,"  is  the  key-note 
of  a  song  of  praise.  When  I  say  that  m}'-  Lord 
was  present  with  me,  I  do  not  mean  that  I 
was  in  a  state  of  joyous  emotion,  but  I  realized 
his  promises,  and  knew  that  he  was  near  me. 

If  we  watch  in  times  of  tribulation,  and  Umit 
not  the  Holy  One  of  Israel,  the  desert  will  be 
to  his  children  what  it  was  of  old,  a  wondrous 
arena  on  which  his  almighty  power  is  displayed. 
Darkness  of  circumstances  is  quite  a  different 
phase  of  trial  from  darkness  of  conscience. 
Though  paiufid  to  the  flesh,  the  soul  has  a 
secret  pleasure  in  watcldug  the  Lord's  way  in 
the  mighty  waters,  even  when  his  footsteps 


126  THE   SECE.ET   OF   THE   LORD. 

are  not  seen;  and  remembering  his  faitlifiJ- 
ness,  it  exults,  saying,  "  The  Lord  God  shall 
help  me,  therefore  I  shall  not  be  confounded." 
"  The  darkness  hideth  not  from  thee  ;  but  the 
night  shineth  as  the  day.  The  darloiess  and 
the  light  are  both  alike  to  thee."  "  Who  is 
among  you  that  feareth  the  Lord,  that  obey- 
eth  the  voice  of  his  servant,  that  walketh  in 
darkness,  and  hath  no  light  ?  Let  him  trust 
in  the  name  of  the  Lord,  and  stay  upon  his 
God."     Isaiah  1.  10. 

One  day,  while  I  was  sitting  by  the  window 
close  upon  the  street,  an  earnest-looking  man 
passed  with  a  Bible  under  his  arm.  I  watched 
him,  feeling  sure  that  he  was  on  some  service 
for  my  beloved  Master.  I  said,  "  I  cannot  read 
m^  Bible  ;  Lord,  help  me  to  pray  for  one  who 
can."  I  had  at  once  the  most  blessed  realiza- 
tion of  the  acceptance  of  my  prayer  following 
a  servant  of  the  Lord  —  for  this  I  felt  he  was, 
—  and  leaving  a  blessing  with  him. 

A  week  had  gone  by,  when  a  steamer  was 
preparing  to  sail.  She  was  being  loosed  from 
her  moorings,  when  I  sav/  the  same  thoughtful' 


DESERT   PLACES.  127 

looking  man  with  liis  Bible  evidently  haste nir ig 
to  the  vessel.  I  ppayed  the  Lord  to  detain  it 
until  he  could  reach  it ;  and  I  had  the  satisfac- 
tion of  seeing  the  stranger  take  his  place,  as 
the  steamer  left  the  quay. 

I  then  remembered  that  it  was  on  this  day 
of  the  preceding  week  that  I  had  begun  to 
pray  for  him.  Then  I  said  in  my  heart,  "  Who 
knows  but  the  Lord  has  placed  me  here  to  pray 
for  one  who  needs  special  help  at  this  season  ? 
I  will  accept  it  as  a  service ;"  and  I  gave  my- 
self to  prayer. 

Speaking  naturally,  I  had  not  the  least  pros- 
pect on  earth  of  hearing  of  any  result.  Seven 
weeks  passed  by ;  I  was  expecting  to  close  a 
sojourn  which,  though  one  of  much  ti-ial,  had 
been  brightened  for  seven  weeks  by  the  con- 
sciousness of  a  secret  service  known  only  to 
God.  He  "  divideth  to  every  man  severally  as 
he  will."  I  looked  only  to  the  day  when  hid- 
den things  should  be  revealed,  to  know  how 
m}^  praj'er  had  been  blessed. 

The  Lord  had  ordered  it  otherwise.  He  is 
a  gracious  master  to  those  who  work  but  one 


128  THE   SECRET   OF   THE  LORD. 

hour  in  his  vineyard.  I  discovered  for  whom 
I  had  been  held  in  prayer ;  and,  previous  to  my 
departure,  the  Lord  so  ordered  circumstances 
that  I  was  obliged  to  apply  to  the  stranger  on 
a  matter  which  required  his  immediate  reply. 

This  necessitated  my  writing  to  him.  I  long- 
ed to  know  something  of  him  ;  but  I  kept  the 
matter  in  my  heart,  and  confined  myself  wholly 
to  the  business  I  had  in  hand.  But  when  my 
letter  was  written,  I  felt  the  Lord  did  not 
smile  on  it :  so  I  thought  again,  and  prayed, 
and  rewrote  it,  but  did  not  wait ;  and  then, 
sad-hearted  and  discoui-aged,  I  said,  "  Perhaps 
after  all  I  am  not  to  write." 

Greatly  to  my  discomfort,  it  seemed  brought 
before  me,  that  I  must  have  a  personal  inter- 
view with  the  stranger.  This  was  the  only 
hard  part  of  my  service ;  but  the  Lord  gave 
me  sweet  assurance  of  his  presence  being  with 
me,  and  a  few  hours  afterward  I  found  myself 
face  to  face  with  the  subject  of  my  seven 
weeks'  prayers. 

The  purpose  of  my  visit  was  soon  satisfac- 
torily arranged,  and  my  heart  was  refreshed 


DESERT   PLACES.  12S 

by  the  interview ;  but  on  taking  leave  of  him, 
I  told  Him,  that  having  no  service  here,  I  had 
longed  for  something  I  could  do,  and  from  my 
seeing  him  pass  on  certain  days  with  his  Bible, 
the  Lord  had  given  me  to  pray  for  him.  The 
expression  of  his  face  told  me  that  my  service 
was  no  delusion. 

"  Tell  me  how  long  you  have  prayed,"  he 
inquired  eagerly.  "  When  was  it  that  you 
first  began?" 

"  Seven  weeks  ago,"  I  answered  ;  "  on  the 
fourteenth  of  the  month." 

There  was  silence  that  I  could  not  break.  I 
felt  his  IMaster  and  my  Master  was  praised 
and  glorified  in  it.  At  last  he  said,  "  For  sev- 
en weeks  I  have  been  helped  and  upheld  be- 
yond all  I  can  tell  you." 

He  then  detailed  to  me  the  circumstances  in 
whicli  he  had  been  placed,  and  whither  he  was 
bound  the  first  day  I  had  seen  him  pass  me 
with  his  Bible. 

Deep  was  the  joy  of  that  hour :  sweet  was 
the  lesson  to  my  heart.  ]\Iy  heavenly  Master 
had  appointed  the  service,  and  he  would  have 


130  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

me  reap  the  fruit  even  here.  Not  man's  judg- 
ment of  what  the  Lord  requires  from  his  weak 
ones,  but  God's  own  requirement,  constitutes 
our  true  service. 

It  was  from  this  simple  incident  that  I  first 
learned  to  look  up  to  him  for  direction  in  other 
equally  trjdng  positions.  God  is  faithful,  and 
will  let  none  of  his  words  fall  to  the  ground. 
Gracious  Lord !  Thou  hast  said  it,  "  Walk 
before  me." 

If  the  Lord  sends  trial  to  his  children,  he 
goes  with  it ;  and  if  he  gives  faith,  he  tests  it. 
WhUe  we  strive  to  be  rid  of  the  cross  it  Avill 
jruise  us ;  but  if  we  take  it  up  and  bear  it, 
looking  unto  Jesus,  it  will  become  a  fruit-bear- 
ing tree.  Mere  emotional  feeling,  in  which 
the  old  nature  bears  part  oftener  than  we-  are 
conscious  of,  is  not  always  joy  in  the  Lord, 
but  joy  in  some  of  his  gifts ;  and  therefore  is 
it  that  trial  and  tribulation  have  many  lasting 
benefits  that  outwardly  prosperous  days  fail  in 
secui'ing. 

In  fair  weather  as  his  vessel  glides  over  the 
water,  the  traveler  gazes  upon  the  coasts,  bright 


DESERT   PLACES.  131 

iu  the  sunshine,  spread  on  either  side  of  him. 
Occasionally,  perhaps,  he  admires  the  wisdom 
of  the  pilot.  But  when  mists  hide  all  the 
beauty  fi-om  view,  and  storms  beat  upon  the 
vessel,  the  voyage  is  not  so  pleasant.  It  calls 
for  fuller  faith  in  Him  who  guides.  There  is 
the  same  unerring  wisdom :  but  before  the 
tempest  the  traveler  enjoyed  the  way  and  for- 
got the  Guide,  and  now,  with  liis  eyes  bent 
only  on  the  Pilot,  he  forgets  the  way. 

Early  in  the  spring  of  the  year  I  came  to 
England  for  some  affairs  that  required  my  pres- 
ence. I  went  to  London,  intending  to  remain 
a  fortnight,  which  would  complete  the  matter 
for  which  I  had  been  summoned,  and  then  to 
proceed  into  the  country. 

A  few  days  after  my  arrival,  however,  I  was 
seized  with  severe  illness.  The  spring  passed, 
and  the  summer  came,  and  I  still  lay  incapable 
of  moving,  longing  to  quit  the  close  air,  but 
unable  to  obtain  an)'-  change  whatever ;  for  the 
providence  of  God  had  so  hedged  up  my  path 
that  I  could  in  no  wise  pass  over  it. 

On  the  last  day   of  August  the   heat  was 


■lo2  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LOED. 

greater  than  had  been  Ivnown  for  years.  The 
walls  of  the  opposite  houses  and  the  white 
pavement  reflected  the  rays  of  the  sun,  and  the 
glare  added  to  the  discomfort  produced  b}^  the 
sultry  atmosphere.  My  couch  was  in  a  small 
apartment  on  the  ground  floor,  looking  on  the 
street,  and  the  peculiar  stillness  which  reigned 
was  vocal  to  me  of  what  was  not,  save  in 
memory. 

Long  days  and  nights  of  suffering  left  me 
incapable  of  occupation,  and  the  leaden  pres- 
sure of  the  heated  air  weighed  down  every 
thought  which  strove  to  rise  above  the  body's 
ills.  A  lonofinsr  for  that  which  was  denied  me 
came  to  disturb  yet  more  that  time  of  inaction. 
I  craved  for  the  fi-esh  pure  air  of  the  country. 
There  was  nothing  sinful  in  desiring  the  fresh 
air,  you  will  say.  There  is  sin  in  a  rebellious 
desire  for  what  is  denied,  (Pro v.  xxiv.  9,)  a 
lack  of  subjection,  a  lack  of  love.  The  cross 
was  galling,  and  I  wanted  it-  changed  before  it 
had  borne  fruit. 

I  closed  my  eyes :  visions  of  green  woodlands 
and  mountain  paths  rose  before  me,  and  last 


DESERT   TLACES.  133 

of  all  the  cliildish  memory  of  a  river,  with 
every  bend  of  which  I  was  familiar.  Its  banks 
were  fringed  with  flowery  sedges,  and  on  its 
bosom  blossomed  the  white  water-Ulies ;  the 
very  ripple  of  the  water  for  a  moment  seemed 
conjured  back  by  my  fevered  imagination. 

O  gracious  loving  God!  Thou  didst  not 
leave  me  there,  dwelling  on  things  of  time  and 
sense.  Neither  didst  thou  visit  my  foolishness 
by  giving  me  the  desire  of  my  discontented 
heart,  by  permitting  me  to  choose  my  own  path, 
by  granting  me  fields  and  summer  flowers,  and 
sending  leanness  into  my  soul. 

A  brother  or  sister  might  upbraid  me ;  but 
let  me  fall  into  the  hands  of  the  Lord,  for  he 
is  pitiful  and  of  tender  mercy,  —  he  remem- 
bered I  was  dust.  My  brain  throbbed  ;  I  tried 
vainly  to  rest  my  longing  vision  elsewhere,  and 
turned  heavily  on  my  pillow.  Through  the 
open  window,  round  the  corner  of  the  street 
came  distinctly  to  my  ear  a  low  monotonous 
cr".  It  was  from  an  old  man  who  sold  wreaths 
of  immortelles^  some  stained  and  painted  to  imi- 
tate other  flowers,  some  in  their  own  natural 


134  THE   SECTRET   OF   THE  LORD. 

beauty  of  white  or  gold  color:  clusters  for 
ornamenting  the  houses  of  the  living,  and 
chaplets  for  adorning  the  low  chambers  of  the 
dead.     Clearly  his  voice  rang  through  the  still 

street,  "  Everlasting  flowers !  Ever lasting 

flowers ! " 

I  raised  my  head  and  listened,  for  to  my  sad 
heart  the  words  sounded  as  though  from  heav- 
en, reminding  me  that  this  was  not  my  rest. 
There  was  no  mistake.    The  words  came  again, 

distinct  and  clear,  "  Ever lasting  flowers  ! 

Everlasting  flowers ! "  and  then  the  voice 
ceased,  and  I  heard  it  no  more. 

The  man  had  unconsciously  delivered  his 
heavenly  message.  The  fountain  of  my  tears 
was  unsealed ;  the  scales  fell  from  my  mental 
vision :  like  the  blind  men  by  the  wayside,  I 
received  sight.  "  Jesus  had  compassion  on 
them,  and  touched  their  eyes ;  and  immedi- 
ately their  eyes  received  sight,  and  they  fol- 
lowed Him."  Matthew  xx.  34.  I  recognized 
in  this  long-protracted  suffering,  this  strange 
captivity,  this  city  dwelling,  this  sultr}^  silent, 
oppressive  hour,  my  Father's  will,  my  Father's 


DESERT  PLACES.  135 

love.  I  bowed  my  neck  again  to  his  gentle 
yoke,  and  never  since  that  day  has  the  snare 
of  green  woodlands,  and  rivers,  and  summer 
flowers,  held  dominion  over  me.  For  I  know 
that  Jehovah- Jesus  has  something  better  for 
his  loved  ones.  It  is  the  new  man  in  Christ 
Jesus  that  shall  inhabit  the  glorious  land ;  he 
has  no  part  or  portion  in  the  earth  which  was 
cursed  for  man's  sake,  although  it  may  be  fair 
to  the  senses.  I  looked  for  a  city  whose 
builder  and  maker  is  God  ;  I  longed  for  fade- 
less joys,  for  ever lasting  flowers. 

I  was  content  to  see  the  summer  fade  into 
autumn,  and  autumn  giving  place  to  winter, 
and  I  said.  He  leadeth  me  in  paths  that  I  have 
not  known;  but  he  can  open  rivers  in  high 
places,  and  fountains  in  the  midst  of  the  val- 
leys. It  is  the  same  Lord  who  called  me  out 
of  Egypt,  and  he  will  not  forsake.  I  shall 
some  day  see  why  it  is  thus  with  me.  Let 
the  Lord  do  that  which  is  good  in  his  sight. 

Soon  after  this,  an  aged  relative  of  the  mis- 
tress of  the  house  returned  from  the  country. 
When  I  saw  her,  she  asked  my  prayers  in  be- 


136  THE   SECEET   OF   THE  LORD. 

haK  of  a  motherless  girl  in  whom  she  had  been 
much  interested :  first,  for  her  soul's  salvation  ; 
secondly,  that  she  might  be  brought  to  the 
house  in  the  capacity  of  servant.  I  declined 
using  my  influence  to  induce  this ;  but  I  did 
join  her  in  prayer,  that  if  the  Lord  saw  goodie 
would  bring  it  about  in  his  own  way.  Perhaps 
I  had  less  interest  in  the  second  part  of  the 
request,  as  I  daily  looked  forward  to  the  possi- 
bility of  removal. 

The  Lord  saw  fit  to  keep  me  still  a  prisoner : 
but  the  loving  bonds  no  longer  galled  the  flesh. 
I  was  seeking  him  in  it  all.  The  hand  pierced 
for  me  had  closed  the  door  and'  barred  the 
gate ;  and  I  felt  sure  that  when  the  time  was 
accomplished,  light  would  shine  into  my  pris- 
on, and  I  should  go  forth  imderstanding  what 
the  will  of  the  Lord  was. 

Time  rolled  on,  and  many  a  song  of  praise 
arose  from  the  rough  waters  on  which  it  was 
the  will  of  my  Lord  that  I  should  be  borne. 
The  young  servant  was  engaged.  I  was  not 
interested  in  her  in  any  other  way  than  by 
natural  love  and  pity  for  the  orphan,  a  plea 
which  few  can  resist. 


DESERT   PLACES. 


137 


December  came  —  the  last  weelc,  and  tlie 
close  of  the  year  found  me  where  I  was  in  its 
first  quarter.  The  busy  Christmas  time  was 
nigh,  when  the  world,  who  celebrate  the  Lord's 
coming  in  the  flesh  as  of  the  flesh,  are  occupied 
in  planning  enjoyment  of  the  things  of  this 
world's  good,  in  which  the  Lord  Jesus  could 
bear  no  part. 

One  day  our  little  servant  arrived  from  the 
country.  She  was  obedient  and  trustworthy 
in  her  service ;  yet  it  was  but  fruit  of  the  old 
nature ;  the  love  of  Jesus,  as  the  spring  of 
life,  was  not  there :  so  I  yearned  for  her  salva- 
tion. 

As  I  sat  alone  in  the  wintry  twilight,  I 
looked  back  by  the  way  my  Lord  had  led  me, 
when,  bound  in  the  sins  and  follies  of  the 
world,  I  looked  forward  to  the  joy  of  giving 
and  receiving  new-year's  gifts,  which  had  no 
aim  but  self-gratification ;  the  anticipated  de- 
light in  the  receiver,  and  the  prejiaration  mak- 
ing up  part  of  the  satisfaction ;  and  I  said, 
"  Lord,  give  me  a  new-year's  gift.  Give  thou  !  " 
My  thoughts   rin  over   the   spiritual  gifts   I 


188  THE   SECRET   OF   THE  LORD. 

needed,  but  did  not  pause  tliere.  "  Give  me  a 
soul,  Lord  ;  give  me  Harriet's  soul  for  my  ne"v?- 
yea^'s  gift*"  I  craved  for  everlasting  flowers 
for  my  Saviour's  crown. 

I  have  said,  that  in  this  labor  of  love  the 
preparation  of  such  a  gift  is  foretasted  joy,  and 
the  preparation  of  the  heart  is  from  the  Lord 
My  preparation  consisted  in  increased  suffer- 
ing, which  confined  me  to  my  chamber,  and 
left  me  more  powerless  than  before  for  thought 
or  action. 

To  the  soul  resting  on  Jesus  there  is  always 
peace  in  believing;  but  those  who  have  to 
learn  the  fellowsliip  of  suffering,  understand 
something  more  of  conformity  to  his  death. 
The  fruit  of  the  Spirit  is  brought  forth  accord- 
ing to  its  season ;  and  if  the  call  is  for  meek- 
ness, patience,  and  long-suffering,  it  may  be 
borne  with  love,  from  which  parent  root  it 
springs :  but  he  has  not  asked  for  joy  ;  grieve 
not  that  you  cannot  give  it.  Suffer  his  will ; 
in  this  there  is  rich  compensation ;  for  those 
that  wait  on  him  shall  not  be  ashamed.  Rev. 
li.  3 ;  Matt.  xii.  50. 


DESERT   PLACES.  139 

I  say  this,  because  I  would  not  have  it  sup- 
posed that  it  was  a  joyous  season  with  me  :  far 
from  it.  I  went  forth  weeping,  bearing  the 
precious  seed.  Weeping  did  not  hinder  the 
hai-vest !  It  was  not  in  my  feeble  hand  bearing 
it ;  it  was  in  the  power  of  the  Holy  Ghost  in 
the  seed  of  life  cast  forth. 

Days  passed.  At  last  only  two  remained  of 
this  year  of  pecuhar  exercise  and  trial.  Only 
two  !  and  my  prayer  was  still  unanswered. 

Satan  came  in  like  a  flood,  and  never  did  a 
more  wily  assault  of  the  Evil  One  seek  to 
turn  me  from  the  desire  of  my  heart.  I  had 
prayed,  I  had  spoken  cursorily  on  the  great 
salvation,  but  I  met  with  no  response ;  and 
I  saw  less  of  our  little  maiden,  so  that  my  op- 
portunities were  now  fewer  even  than  before. 

Satan  would  fain  have  persuaded  me  that, 
as  I  had  been  unable  to  foresee  this  sickness, 
therefore  prayer  was  void.  Again  —  that  I 
eiTcd  in  having  fixed  a  time  for  my  prayer  to 
be  answered. 

Still  I  had  asked,  and  I  knew  it  depended 
on  him  in  whom  all  power  dwelleth.     It  waa 


140  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

as  easy  to  grant  my  petition  now  as  later ;  and 
I  thought  —  I  have  asked  for  this  soul  to  be 
brought  into  light,  and  yet  not  one  step  in 
faith  have  I  taken  to  secure  it.  I  rose,  and 
rang  the  bell.  I  feebly  lifted  up  my  heart  to 
Him  who  knew  the  utterly  broken  reed  that  he 
had  taken  up,  and  yet  I  almost  trembled  when 
the  slow  and  rather  heavy  footsteps  of  Harriet 
replied  to  my  summons. 

Oh,  before  that  day  I  think  I  never  knew 
that  any  of  those  who  had  been  saved  from 
destruction  could  find  a  difficulty  in  speaking 
of  their  own  beloved  Lord,  or  in  telling  an- 
other that  he  who  had  saved  them  was  waiting 
and  willing  to  save  all  who  go  to  him. 

But  I  did  speak  for  him  in  broken  words  ; 
and  weak,  and  almost  weeping,  I  told  her  of 
the  love  of  Jesus  to  poor  lost  guilty  man. 

The  stolid  expression  of  cool  indifference 
that  sat  upon  the  countenance  of  my  listener 
was  more  painful  than  a  contradiction  of  the 
truth  which  I  brought  forward,  for  I  could 
have  met  that  with  "  It  is  written." 

But  I  went  on.     I  told  her  what  he  had 


DESERT   PLACES.  141 

done  for  me,  and  that  warmed  my  own  heart ; 
and  I  read  such  portions  of  His  Woi  d  as  show 
our  need  of  a  free  and  full  salvation,  not  re- 
quiring of  us  to  do  anything-  more  than  believe, 
in  order  to  be  saved  ;  that  Christ's  work  was  a 
finished  work  ;  that  we  must  have  everlasting 
life  before  we  could  walk  or  serve.  "  He  that 
believeth  hath  eveilasting  Hfe." 

The  same  gloomy  face,  the  same  hopeless 
silence.  My  heart,  that  in  the  fervor  of  dwel- 
lino;  on  the  loveliness  of  Jesus  had  been  san- 
guine,  now  fell  again. 

I  prayed  briefly  Avith  Harriet,  or  rather  for 
her;  and  then  she  rose,  replaced  the  chair, 
carefully  adjusted  the  carpet,  which  had  been 
slightly  disarranged,  and,  without  the  least 
trace  of  emotion  on  her  countenance,  left  the 
room. 

I  sank  back,  almost  relieved  that  she  was 
gone,  and  that  I  was  not  called  to  speak 
another  word.  I  rejected  the  idea  that  I  had 
asked  that  which  the  Lord  was  not  ready  to 
give  me.  It  was  for  his  glory  ;  and  my  only 
pleas  were  his  love,  his  power,  and  liis  promise. 


142  THE   SECRET   OF  THE  LORD. 

Matt,  xxviii.  18 ;  John  xv.  7.  There  were 
yet  twenty-four  hours  more.  What  could  he 
not  do  in  twenty-four  seconds,  if  it  pleased 
him?  O  thou  of  little  faith,  wherefore  dost 
thou  doubt? 

Another  day — the  last ;  and  again  I  felt  led 
to  ring  for  Harriet.  She  came,  bowed  down, 
as  she  told  me,  in  the  misery  of  unpardoned 
sin.  I  pleaded  with  her  to  go  to  Jesus,  just 
as  she  was,  now. 

The  temporizing  flesh  suggested,  perhaps 
some  circumstances  in  the  future,  some  other 
person  might  be  more  blessed  to  her  ;  in  time 
this  soul  may  live,  and  still  it  would  be  given 
to  my  prayers,  and  I  must  wait. 

Nay.  I  had  prayed,  "  Lord,  give  me  Har- 
riet's soul  for  my  new-year's  gift."  That 
comprehended  my  instrumentality  within  a 
certain  definite  period,  and  in  reliance  that 
God  had  heard  me,  I  had  taken  one  step  in 
action,  and  this  was  in  testimony  that  I  relied 
on  his  power ;  for  my  own  utter  emptiness 
left  nothing  for  me  to  rest  on. 

Then  I  cried  in  my  heart ;    such  a  cry  as 


DESERT   PLACES.  1  i3 

Elisha  gave  over  the  dead  body  of  the  child  of 
the  Shunaramite.  It  was  in  vain  to  seek  for 
another  argument,  to  urge  her  not  to  delay  an 
hour  in  seeking  him  who  was  waiting  to  re- 
ceive her.  All  seemed  blank.  Memory  failed 
me ;  my  strength  was  ebbing  fast.  Inward 
silent  prayer  was  all  of  which  I  was  capable, 
and  my  cry,  "  Speak,  Lord,  for  thy  servant 
heareth,"  waited  onlv  on  him.  "  Show  me 
the  word  in  thine  own  written  promise  that 
shall  give  life  to  the  dead." 

I  felt  like  one  gone  to  the  rescue  of  a 
drowning  man,  myself  battling  with  the  bil- 
lows, blinded  by  the  brine,  so  that  I  could  no 
longer  point  out  the  harbor  of  refuge  to  the 
shipwi-ecked  stranger.  But  my  feeble  cry, 
which  OAvned  Jesus  as  my  hope,  and  Jesus 
onl3%  was  answered  speedily.  I  opened  my 
Bible.  Like  an  illuminated  text,  so  bright 
and  powerful  stood  out  this  blessed  message 
of  my  covenant-keeping  God :  "  If  ye  then, 
being  evil,  know  how  to  give  good  gifts  unto 
your  children ;  how  much  more  shall  yoiu 
heavenly  Father  give  the  Holy  Spu-it  to  them 


144  THE    SECRET   OF   THE.  LORD. 

that  ask  liim  ! "  Luke  xi.  13.  It  was  the  voice 
of  my  Beloved.  "  Behokl,  he  cometh !  " 
"  Behold,  now  is  the  day  of  salvation."  I 
read  the  verse  aloud  very  slowlj^  and  paused. 
"  I  have  it !  "  I  cried.  "  Kneel,  and  ask  for 
the  Holy  Spirit  to  be  given  you  now,  Harriet. 
He  will  hear  and  answer  you."  Jesus  was 
indeed  passing  by !  Oh,  so  near,  so  near ! 
We  held  him,  and  would  not  let  him  go. 

"We  prayed  ;  for  there  was  no  doubt  now 
that  the  bended  head  and  clasped  hands  near 
me  were  the  expression  of  prayer  such  as  is 
heard  in  hoaven ;  and  then  there  was  a 
smothered  sob,  a  groan  — ^  the  dead  was 
ahve  ! 

"  My  sins  are  gone,  all  gone  !  "  exclaimed 
Harriet,  as  she  sprang  to  her  feet,  and  burst 
forth  into  praise  ;  no  longer  the  cool,  indiffer- 
ent being  who  had  first  knelt  down  with  me, 
but  with  a  face  that  told  the  joy  of  sin  for- 
ever washed  away  in  the  blood  of  the  Lamb. 
Blessed  Jesus  !     He  is  faithful ! 

Through  the  glad  tears  there  met  me  such 
a  glance  of  grateful  love  that  I  shall  never, 


DESEET   PLACES.  145 

never  forget.     That  morning  of  joy  was  well 
worth  a  night  of  weeping. 

I  said,  "  Dear  Harriet,  I  asked  the  Lord  to 
give  me  your  soul  for  a  new-year's  gift." 

"  And  he  has  done  it !  "  said  Harriet.  "My 
sins  are  gone  I  My  heart  is  as  light  as  a 
feather ! " 

I  sang  with  Hannah  in  the  temple  of  God  : 
"  For  this  child  I  prayed  ;  and  the  Lord  hath 
given  me  my  petition  which  I  asked  of  him : 
therefore  also  I  have  lent  her  to  the  Lord  ;  as 
long  as  she  liveth  she  shall  be  lent  to  the 
Lord.  And  they  worshipped  the  Lord  there." 
1  Sam.  i.  27,  28. 

To  all  appearance  my  words  had  fallen  on 
deaf  ears,  but  it  was  not  really  so.  I  learned 
afterwards  the  exercise  of  that  soul  so  soon  to 
be  reconciled  to  God,  and  brought  into  the 
goodly  heritage  of  peace  and  joy  in  believing; 
and  it  strengthened  my  hand. 

I  was  allowed  to  see  the  change  clear  in  its 
evidence,  and  also  the  growth  in  grace,  wliich 
I  have  now  watched  with  tender  interest  for 
ten  years.     When  later  I  was  laid  still  more 


146  THE   SECKET   OF   THE  LORD. 

helpless  on  my  sick  bed,  Harriet  arose  daily 
before  her  usual  time  to  seek  in  the  Scriptui'es 
for  some  crumb  of  bread  wherewith  to  sustain 
the  life  given,  and  committing  a  portion  to 
memory,  softly  repeated  each  morning  at  my 
bedside  the  portion  she  had  learned.  Nor 
was  this  confined  to  a  verse  or  two,  but  ex- 
tended often  to  the  greater  part  of  a  chapter. 
The  comfort  I  found  from  this  it  is  difficult  to 
express  ;  for  the  peculiar  light  and  blessing 
which  always  followed  these  portions  of  Scrip- 
ture marked  the  certain  guidance  of  the  Holy 
Ghost,  and  the  prayerful  search  that  my  little 
maiden  gave  to  the  task. 

This  it  taught  me,  that  the  Lord  setteth  the 
bounds  of  our  habitation.  There  is  no  situa- 
tion in  which  we  are  placed,  but  there  is  in  it 
a  blessing  for  all  who  wait  on  Him  :  they  shall 
not  be  ashamed  !  The  soul  that  looks  beyond 
life's  unsatisfactory  joys,  and  will  trust  Him 
unto  whom  all  power  is  given  both  in  heaven 
and  on  earth,  shall  find  the  Lord  of  life  in 
desert  places,  ready  to  open  the  blind  ejes, 
and  bring  out  the  prisoner  from  the  prison, 


DESERT  PLACES.  14" 

and  them  that  sit  in  darkness  out  of  the  pris- 
on-house. Then  shall  the  dumb  sing ;  for  in 
the  wilderness  shall  waters  break  out,  and 
streams  in  the  desert,  and  the  jurched  ground 
shall  become  a  pool,  and  the  thirsty  ]a?id 
isprings  of  water. 


THE  WOUNDED    SOLDIER. 

"The  soul  of  Ihe  wounded  crieth  out,  yet  God  layeth  not  folly  to  them." 

Job  xxiv.  12. 

It  was  the  hour  of  battle, 

No  Inunan  eye  looked  on  ; 
Angels  and  devils  marvell 

A  victory  is  won  1 

Tliere  Is  a  moan  of  angiush, 

A  warrior  lies  low  — 
A  poisoned  shaft  is  proving 
The  malice  of  the  foe. 

In  the  still  midniglit  hour 

No  other  sound  is  heard, 
The  weary  hands  fall  heli>les9 

That  wielded  well  the  sword. 

There  is  no  song  of  triumph, 

Ajid  none  the  chaplet  twine, 
O  weak  and  wounded  soldier, 

For  that  pale  brow  of  thine. 

Hath  earth  no  balm  to  bring  him? 

llath  love  no  word  to  speak, 
As  in  the  dust  he  lieth 

With  heart  so  nigh  to  break? 


148  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

For  fierce  the  foe  that  found  him, 
And  who  his  power  can  scan  ? 

Oh,  is  there  none  to  succor 
That  sad  and  lonely  man? 

Earth's  sweetest  love,  nor  angel. 
Could  solace  now  impart ; 

No  song,  though  heard  from  heaven 
Uphold  that  sinking  heart. 

But  see  !  the  Man  of  Sorrows 
Comes  where  his  soldier  lies  ; 

He  marks  the  lip  that  quivera 
In  untold  agonies. 

Say,  doth  he  bring  him  fetters, 
Or  comes  he  to  upbraid? 

Nay!  to  his  loving  bosom 
He  draws  the  drooping  head. 

And  in  that  deep,  deep  silence, 
The  gaping  wounds  are  bound, 

"With  touch  so  soft  and  gentle  ; 
Hush  !  it  is  holy  ground. 

O  Christ !  thy  tender  pity 

For  every  pang  I  see ; 
Each  sob  of  pain  is  numbered. 

And  counted  as  for  thee. 

Tea  closer,  and  yet  closer. 
Thy  woimded  one  is  pressed ; 

And  human  woes  are  whispered 
Upon  a  human  breast. 

Then  in  the  solemn  silence 
I  hear  the  whisper  sweet  — 

"  Fear  not,  my  wounded  soldier; 
Behold  my  hands  and  feet." 

The  fever's  dream  is  over; 

The  tearless  eyes  can  weep; 
And  he,  whose  arms  enfold  him, 

Gives  his  beloved  oleep. 


I 


DESERT  PLACES.  149 

Best, rest,  O  wounded  soldier; 

Distrust  thy  Lord  no  more; 
And  think  not  strange  the  battle 

Tliy  Captain  fought  before. 

He  knows  thy  fierce  accuser; 

Thou  shalt  not  fall  nor  yield; 
Hold  f:ist  thy  blood-red  banner, 

Thy  bright  sword,  and  thy  shield. 

Behoid  thy  strength  in  Jesus; 

Believe  thy  Bkother  nigh, 
Wliose  heart  in  love  o'erlloweth 

With  tenderest  sympathy. 

Thou  hast  no  pain  he  feels  not, 

No  pang  he  doth  not  share; 
And  when  tlie  light  was  hottest, 

Deliverance  was  there. 

He  kept  thee  in  the  conflict. 

His  shield  was  o"er  thee  thrown; 
A  Conqueror  ne'er  defeated, 

Thy  battle  was  his  own. 

Rest  in  his  loye,  and  fear  not; 

The  victory  is  won. 
O  weak  and  wounded  soldier, 

Thy  Lord  hath  said,  "  Well  done." 


150     THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 


CHAPTER    VIlT 

THE  WAY  OF   THE  LORD. 

And  what  agreement  liatli  the  temple  of 'God  w/th  idols?  foi 
ye  are  the  temple  of  the  living  God;  as  God  hath  said,  I 
will  dwell  in  them,  and  walk  in  them ;  and  I  will  be  their 
God,  and  they  shall  be  my  people.    2  COK.  vi.  16. 

j^AN  you  have  communion  with  God,  and 
^qI  yet  walk  with  the  world?  We  marvel 
%i  how  any  soul  that  has  caught  one  tran- 
sient gleam  of  the  presence  of  the  King  of 
kings  should  need  the  question  to  be  answered. 
"  Know  ye  not  that  the  friendship  of  the  world 
is  enmity  with  God  ?  Whosoever  therefore  will 
be  a  friend  of  the  world  is  the  enemy  of  God." 
How  can  you  clasp  the  hand  of  the  world 
that  hates  your  Lord  —  that  hates  you,  if  you 
in  any  way  resemble  him?  You  urge  that 
you  frequent  the  society  of  worldlings  as  Jesus 
did,  and  that  he  sat  at  the  board  of  pubhcans 
and  sinners.  Are  you  among  them  for  the 
same  purpose  ?  —  to  rebuke  the  hypocrite  and 
Pharisee,  and  to  succor  the  sin-stricken?     If 


THE  "WAY  OF   THE   LORD.  151 

your  position  and  your  powerless  testimony 
forbid  this,  look  well  to  it  that  you  have  the 
Master  you  profess  to  follow  as  your  example, 
and  use  not  an  excuse  for  your  own  self-indul- 
gence which  even  the  worldings  about  you 
justly  deride.  "  If  tliine  eye  be  single,  thy 
whole  body  shall  be  full  of  light.  " 

I  have  heard  a  Christian  man  arcrue  with 
an  ardor  worthy  of  a  better  cause  in  defense 
of  entering  the  rifle  corps.  Have  heavenly 
citizens  their  portion  in  this  life  ?  Has  the 
Prince  of  peace  commanded  his  foUoweis  to 
cultivate  earthly  warfare?  Has  he  not  said, 
"  My  kingdom  is  not  of  this  world ;  if  my 
kingdom  were  of  this  world,  then  would  my 
servants  light"? 

Let  those  declare,  who  have  once  sought  a 
heavenly  city,  and  now  have  joined  the  ranks 
of  the  world's  warfare,  how  much  more  they 
now  know  of  him  who  has  called  them  to 
follow  him  —  how  much  deeper  knowledge 
have  they  gained  of  him  —  how  much  sweeter 
has  been  their  communion  —  how  much  are 
they  weaned  from  the  world's  snares  and  the 


152  THE  SECRET   OF  THE  LORD. 

power  of  sin  —  since  they  voluntarily  sought 
the  parade  and  false  glory  that  the  worldling 
delights  in? 

"Let  the  dead  bury  their  dead." 

Another  believing  brother  pleaded  the  neces- 
sity of  retaining  "  manly  sports,"  as  he  termed 
cricket,  for  needful  recreation. . 

"  Certainly,"  replied  the  Christian  addressed, 
"  if  to  serve  the  Lord  Jesus  is  irksome  to  you, 
and  you  require  relaxation  with  the  world,  the 
flesh,  and  the  devil,  and  you  find  cricket  assist 
you  in  your  heavenward  course,  continue  it, 
pray." 

The  cricket-ground  has  lost  the  Christian 
brother,  and  his  vacant  place  is  a  testimony 
for  the  Lord  beyond  what  my  word  which  his 
position  contradicted  could  have  been.  You 
may  offer  your  hands,  and  your  feet,  and  your 
head,  and  your  voice  to  the  Lord,  but  without 
your  heart,  it  is  a  vain  oblation. 

Abraham  was  called  "  the  friend  of  God ;" 
but  we  find  no  such  expression  of  endeared 
familiarity  bestowed  on  righteous  Lot,  though 
he  was  "  vexed  with  the  filthy  conversation  of 


THE  WAY  OF   THE  LORD.  153 

the  wicked."  We  do  not  hear  of  him  prapng 
to  be  delivered  from  the  evil  men  with  whom 
it  was  his  choice  to  dwell,  and  from  whom  he 
received  the  honor  that  cometh  from  men. 
We  find  that  he  accepted  a  post  of  dignity 
from  them,  and  sat  in  the  gate.  If  he  lived 
among  them  for  testimony,  that  testimony  was 
valueless  ;  for  when  he  would  have  saved  his 
relatives  from  the  impending  ruin,  they  heed- 
ed not  his  words:  he  was  to  them  "as  one 
who  mocked."  It  is  true  that  he  was  saved 
from  destruction ;  but  it  was  almost  by  com- 
pulsion. The  Lord  being  mercifid  to  him,  he 
was  preserved. 

If  you  are  content  with  the  world's  honors 
and  favors,  then  you  know  nothing  yet  of 
communion  with  a  living  God.  If  the  only 
desire  of  your  heart  is  the  ill-defined  hope  of 
salvation  from  eternal  death,  and  not  of  salva- 
tion from  sin  ;  if  you  live  without  fellowship 
with  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  and  persuade 
yourself  that  some  natural  attainment  or  pecu- 
liar position  is  needfid  to  maintain  it,  and  that 
you^  a  saved  soul,  may  safely  walk  with  the 


154     THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

world,  your  loss   here   and  hereafter  is  great 
indeed. 

Can  you  picture  the  day  which  followed 
that  solemn  night  wherein  the  destiopng  an- 
gel passed  over  the  blood-sprinkled  hntels  of 
the  Israelites'  dwelling  ?  Can  you  imagine 
them  hastening  to  join  with  the  Egyptians  in 
their  pastimes,  forgetting  so  soon  their  deliv- 
erance —  forsaking  their  own  mercies  ? 

I  remember,  as  I  was  entering  into  the  assur- 
ance of  eternal  life  by  Christ,  the  testimony 
of  a  child  who  had  paid  a  visit  to  a  worldly 
famil}^  of  my  acquaintance.  On  being  invited 
to  join  in  some  idle  game,  she  steadily  de- 
clined, and  sat  apart  while  others  were  en- 
gaged in  it.  Vainly  was  she  urged  to  make 
one  of  the  party.  On  being  pressed  to  give  her 
reasons,  she  replied  with  unflinching  courage : 

"I  do  not  think  it  would  please  Jesus  if  I 
joined  in  such  foolish  games." 

The  following  Sunday  afternoon  the  little 
witness  was  sought  for  in  vain:  When  ques- 
tioned, she  confessed  that  she  had  taken  her 
Bible  to  the   kitchen,  to   read   to  the  "  dear 


THE   WAY  OF   THE  LORD.  155 

servants  j"  adding,  "they  seemed  very  much 
surprised."  Nevertheless,  they  accepted  the 
ministry  of  the  child ;  and  the  simple  prayer 
that  followed  her  Bil)le-reading  must  be  still 
remembered.  "  How  is  it  that  ye  sought  me  ? 
Wist  ye  not  that  I  must  be  about  my  Father's 
business  ?  " 

Communion  with  God  is  not  sanctification ; 
it  is  the  fruit  of  sanctification.  It  is  only 
known  by  the  heart  purged  from  dead  works, 
and  become  a  temple  of  the  living  God,  —  not 
a  hall  of  controvei-s}^  on  theology,  nor  an  arena 
for  occasional  worldly  enjoyment.  The  lack 
of  the  church  to-day  is  a  lack  of  individual 
holiness,  and  therefore  of  individual  testi- 
mony. The  natural  heart  would  substitute 
forms  and  ceremonies,  and  mis-called  "  good 
works,"  for  life  in  Christ;  but  "  their  Avebs 
shall  not  become  garments,  neither  shall  they 
cover  themselves  with  their  works."  It  is 
easier  to  decorate  the  walls  of  edifices,  than  to 
adorn  the  doctrine  of  God  our  Saviour  ;  and 
to  dehght  in  wax  candles  on  the  altar,  than  in 
"the  Light  of  the  world." 


l56     THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

The  Lord  is  nigli  unto  them  that  fear  him. 
"  He  speaketh  once,  yea  twice,  yet  man  per- 
ceiveth  it  not."  He  delights  to  walk  with  the 
soul  whom  he  has  called  out  of  darkness,  but 
the  heart  is  often  so  immersed  in  the  things  of 
time,  that,  as  at  the  inn  at  Bethlehem,  there 
is  no  room  for  the  Holy  Child  Jesus. 

"  I  see  there  is  no  way  to  keep  in  commu- 
nion  with  God,''  writes  one  who  walked  with 
him,  "  but  by  strictly  adhering  to  the  words 
of  the  apostle  :  '  I  determined  not  to  know 
any  thing  among  you,  save  Jesus  Christ,  and 
him  crucified.'  There  must  be  a  shutting-to 
of  the  door  of  the  soul  against  any  thing  else  ; 
not  onlj^  against  sin,  but  also  against  any 
undue  care  of  or  meddling  with  that  to  which 
we  are  not  called  to  attend." 

To  be  blind  and  deaf  to  the  evil  around  us, 
we  need  the  continual  hel20  of  the  Holy  Spirit. 
None  but  the  Holy  One  can  touch  the  leper 
and  be  undefiled.  Who  cannot  remember  the 
wandering  glance ;  the  thoughtless  perusal  of 
the  newspaper  paragraph  that  fascinated  the 
careless  mind  off  the  watch ;  the  book  whose 


THE  WAY  OF   THE  LORD.  157 

errors  we  intended  to  refute,  and  which  took 
us  captive  ;  or  tlie  idle  curiosity  that  led  us 
to  look  and  linger ;  following  after,  rather 
than  flying  from,  the  fowler's  snare  ? 

These  are  sinful  failures  that  hinder  us  in 
our  communion,  and  leave  us  halting  ;  and 
the  accuser  will  again  raise  them  before  us. 
We  can  only  escape  them  by  fleeing  anew  to 
the  blood  of  Jesus,  the  High  Priest  of  the 
heavenly  sanctuary,  who,  being  perfect  man 
and  perfect  God,  can  alone  cleanse  and  heal. 

Must  you  then  leave  the  city  and  go  into 
retirement,  to  walk  with  God  ?  Nay  !  where 
would  you  go  where  sin  and  the  world  are  not? 
Has  not  Jesus  said,  "I  pray  not  that  thou 
shouldest  take  them  out  of  the  world,  but  that 
thou  shouldest  keep  them  from  the  evil. 
They  are  not  of  the  world,  even  as  I  am  not 
of  the  world."  If  walls  of  "brick  and  stone 
could  protect  the  soid  against  the  sin  which 
th?3  inclose,  and  if  ceremonial  service  and 
priestcraft  had  power  to  remit  sin,  then  the 
withdrawal  from  a  life  of  testimony,  before 
and  against  an  ungodly  world,  Avould  be  ac- 


158  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

ceptable  to  God,  —  then  Christians  would  be 
safer  in  monasteries,  or  in  any  place  of  ascetic 
seclusion.  Such  places  have  been  most  nu- 
merous in  the  darkest  periods.  We  are  too 
prone  to  reckon  "  the  world  "  as  comprehend- 
ing the  idle  amusements  and  enjoyments  of 
the  worldling,  forgetting  that  "  the  world  "  is 
adapted  to  each  peculiar  soul,  and  that  it  con- 
sists to  each  in  whatsoever  he  delights  in  out 
of  God. 

Be  not  tempted  to  believe  that  fellowship 
with  God  is  confined  to  a  few  who  possess 
some  special  gift,  or  who,  in  forced  seclusion, 
have  an  imaginary  enjoyment  of  spiritual  life. 
Although  those  who  are  contented  with  a  very 
little  of  Christ's  company  are  of  the  exceeding 
number,  yet  his  followers  are  far  removed 
from  idle  dreamers.  Things  of  eternity  are 
things  of  reality.  Communion  is  compatible 
with  health  aiui  vigor,  with  household  care, 
and  faithful  attendance  on  life's  daily  calling. 
The  trials  that  meet  us  here  are  but  as  the 
goads  and  nails  of  true  crucifixion  ;  they  drive 
us  nearer  to    Jesus,  to  bring  about  his  own 


THE   WAY   OF   THE  LORD.  159 

counsels  for  our  advancement,  to  hedge  us 
up  into  a  closer  fellowship  with  himself  than 
we  could  otherwise  attain.  Martyrdom  is  but 
the  outward  fulfillment  of  inward  crucifixion. 
It  is  the  crucified  man  who  walks  in  resurrec- 
tion hfe  and  power.  "  Deny  thyself,  take  up 
thy  cross,  and  follow  me."  This  is  war,  not 
peace.  It  is  battle  declared  against  the  world, 
the  flesh,  and  the  devil.  "  In  me,"  said  Christ, 
"3'e  have  peace," — not  in  the  world,  there  is 
no  promise  of  it  there.  The  followers  of  the 
Master  must  expect  tribulation  and  hatred 
and  scorn.  Life  is  everywhere  set  forth  as  a 
conflict.  By  his  halting  Jacob  proved  that  he 
had  wrestled ;  but  Israel,  prince  as  he  was,  had 
still  to  serve  and  suffer. 

Marvel  not  that  you  have  but  faint  desires 
after  communion,  or  that  you  never  realize  its 
joy,  if  your  thoughts  are  engrossed  by  the  news 
of  the  world,  your  time  wasted  in  the  ceremo- 
nious visit,  the  aimless  letter,  or  the  current 
literature  of  the  day  —  things  on  which  you 
ask  no  blessing,  and  expect  none  ;  then  it  is 
not  strange  that  communion  with  the  Father 


160  THE   SECEET    OF   THE   LORD. 

and  the  Son  is  as  an  unexplored  land  to  you. 
I  inquired  of  one  dear  to  me,  to  whom  the 
Lord  has  said,  "  Come  up  hither,"  why  she 
did  not  visit  the  International  Exliibition. 
She  rephed,  "  I  am  longing  after  closer  com- 
munion with  Jesus.  I  do  not  expect  to  find 
it  at  the  Exhibition,  and  therefore  I  do  not  go 
there." 

If  the  spirits  of  the  blessed  could  regret, 
would  she  be  regretting  now  that  she  turned 
from  the  things  of  time,  which  her  natural 
heart  would  have  enjoyed,  lest  partaking  of 
them  should  hinder  her  realizinof  her  union 
with  Christ. 

You  may  plead  that  you  are  not  in  a  position 
favorable  to  the  development  of  the  divine 
life.  Then  you  charge  the  Divine  Giver  of 
that  life  with  injustice.  To  you  he  is  the  hard 
master,  the  "austere  man,"  gathering  where 
he  has  not  strown. 

It  is  true  there  are  seasons  when  the  Lord 
himself  may  lead  you  into  Egypt ;  but  beware 
now  you  seek  such  a  place  for  yourself,,  listen- 
ing to  Satan's  deceitful  suggestion,  "  Perhaps 


THE  "WAY   OF   THE  LORD.  161 

you  may  do  good."  Such  places  of  testimony, 
if  accepted  from  the  Lord  in  prayer  and 
watchfuhiess,  bring  forth  blessing  ;  but  only 
so  :  for  it  is  written,  "  Come  out  from  among 
them,  and  be  ye  separate,  and  touch  not  the 
unclean  thing."  With  your  eye  on  Jesus, 
you  may  pass  through  the  enemy's  land  as 
safely  as  the  yoling  Israelites  walked  through 
the  fiery  furnace  before  the  multitude;  as 
securely  as  the  man  greatly  beloved  spent 
the  night  in  the  den  of  lions.  The  God 
whom  Daniel  served  in  the  court  of  kings 
delivered  liim ;   He  is  able  to  deliver  you. 

The  soul  must  go  on  from  strength  to 
strength.  The  Holy  Child  Jesus  was  brought 
forth  amid  the  herd  at  the  wayside  inn,  but 
he  did  not  live  there.  He  grew  in  wisdom 
and  stature,  in  meek  obedience  to  his  eartlily 
parents ;  and  when  the  set  time  was  fully 
come  he  went  up  to  Jerusalem.  He  must  be 
about  his  Father's  business. 

The  soul  born  of  God  is  not  bidden  to  for- 
sake the  duties  clearly  marked  out  for  him. 
Some  think  that  they  can  only  preach  Christ 


162  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD,. 

by  forsaking  their  daily  calling,  and  that  thero 
is  no  way  of  recommending  the  gospel  but  by 
proclaiming  it  to  a  crowd.  Doubtless  many 
are  called  to  do  so  ;  but  many  more,  as  they 
go,  preach,  even  while  they  think  they  have 
no  service  for  the  Lord  they  love.  They  take 
up  the  cross,  and  bear  it  before  their  worldly 
family,  or  beneath  the  sneers  of  a  godless 
neighborhood ;  they  are  most  effectually 
preaching  by  livmg  the  truth,  oftentimes  too 
lightly  spoken  and  too  faintly  realized.  There 
is  a  power  in  reality  that  even  the  scoffer  does 
not  gainsay  in  his  heart.  That  power  flows 
from  fellowship  with  God  alone  —  it  is  the 
Spirit's  witness.    Song  of  Solomon,  i.  12. 

Is  any  longing  to  be  able  to  say,  "  This  is 
my  Beloved,  this  is  my  Friend  ?  "  Is  the  deso- 
late heart  crying,  "  Where  clwellest  thou  ?  " 
Hark  !     His  reply  is,  "  Come  and  see." 

You  may  be  desiring  fellowship  with  Jesus, 
and  yet  be  seeking  by  sense  what  is  only  given 
to  faith.  You  may  look  for  it  in  some  great 
enterprise,  and  miss  it  in  the  every-day  walk 
of  life.     You  may  deny  that  you  are  hindered 


THE    WAY   OF   THE    LORD.  1C3 

tluouL^li  unbelief,  and  yet  it  is  a  virtual  denial 
of  Christ  to  make  to  ourselves  another  Christ 
than  the  one  revealed  to  us.  "  This  is  the 
work  of  God,  that  ye  believe  on  him  whom 
he  hath  sent."  To  believe  on  him  is  to  live 
with  him  —  to  glorify  him.  It  is  not  enough 
to  know  that  there  are  treasures  for  us  :  if  we 
would  really  possess  them,  we  must  stretch 
forth  our  hands  for  them,  receive  them,  and 
huld  fast  our  coniidence  to  the  end.  If  you 
are  indeed  longing  after  this  good  land,  then 
acquaint  yourself  with  him,  and  be  at  peace. 
For  this  you  need  not  wait  till  you  have 
climbed  some  difficult  point  of  experience. 
No  intellectual  study  will  give  it  to  you. 
"  Whence  then  cometh  wisdom  ?  and  where  is 
the  place  of  understanding  ?  "  Job  xxviii.  20. 
The  secret  is  simply  faith  in  Cluist  Jesus,  the 
wisdom  of  God,  and  the  power  of  God.  This 
is  received  hour  by  hour,  throwhig  a  light  and 
interest  over  the  commonest  aifairs  of  every- 
day life. 

The  service  of  the  sanctuar}^  is  not  always 
carried  on  in  the  sight  of  the  multitude,  nor  in 


1G4  THE   SECRET  OF   THE   LORD    ■ 

the  presence  of  our  Ijrethren.  There  are  those 
who  stand  by  night  in  the  temple  of  the  Lord. 
The  service  consists  in  the  acceptance  and 
faithful  performance  of  the  allotted  work. 
The  post  of  each  servant  is  alike  honorable 
and  of  equal  responsibility  :  "for  unto  whoso- 
ever much  is  given,  of  him  shall  be  much 
required ;  and  to  whom  men  have  committed 
much,  of  him  they  will  ask  the  more."  Luke 
xii.  48. 

Baal-hanan  the  Gederite,  the  overseer  of  the 
olive  trees  and  sycamore  trees  in  the  low  plains, 
(1  Chron,  xxvii.  28,)  had  his  work  with- 
out the  house.  But  the  oil  from  the  crushed 
berry  called  for  the  service  of  Joash :  he  was 
appointed  guardian  over  the  cellars  of  oil. 
Both  were  needed ;  each  must  faithfullj'-  fulfill 
his  office. 

So  now,  we  have  our  Gederites  in  the  olive 
groves  in  the  sight  of  men,  who  know  nothing 
of  the  hidden  treasures  over  which  some  cho- 
sen Joash  keeps  his  vigilant  watch.  None  are 
exempt  from  the  life  of  faith ;  for  "  without 
faith  it  is  impossible  to  please  him ;  for  he  that 


THE   WAY   OF   THE   LORD.  105 

cometli  to  God  must  believe  that  he  is,  and 
that  he  is  a  rewarder  of  thera  that  diligently 
seek  him;"  Heb.  xi.  6.  "  The  knowledge  of 
his  will  in  iill  wisdom  and  spiritual  under- 
standing "  is  the  spring  of  service —  "  that  ye 
might  walk  worthy  of  the  Lord  unto  all  pleas- 
ing, being  fi'uitful  in  every  good  work."  Col. 
1,  10. 

If  we  will  be  childi-en,  led  by  the  Spirit, 
renouncing  our  own  wisdom,  and  willing  to 
be  nothing,  I  believe  we  shall  see  and  hear 
him  who  came  to  do  the  will  of  his  Father. 

All  service  ought  surely  to  flow  from  com- 
munion with  the  Father  and  the  guidance  of 
the  Holy  Spirit ;  and  the  outward  act  should 
be  an  act  of  faith,  for  whatsoever  is  not  of 
faith  is  sin.  In  this  way  tract  distribution, 
the  Sunday-school  class,  and  every  other  kind 
of  Christian  work,  would  be  as  great  a  blessing 
to  the  giver  as  to  the  receiver.  There  might 
be  less  actually  done ;  there  would  be  less  to 
be  burned  up.  My  own  service  and  testimony 
arc  for  the  most  part  within  a  narrow  limit ; 
but,  nevertheless,  it  1(5  possible  that  the  same 


166  THE   SECEET    OF    THE   LORD. 

experience  would  hold  good  in  a  far  wider 
sphere.  I  have  found  that  the  "  word  spoken 
in  season"  must  come  from  God,  if  it  is  to 
reach  the  heart,  and  the  seed  must  be  commit- 
ted to  him,  if  we  expect  to  gather  the  grain. 

I  remember,  in  a  time  of  afiiiction,  when  I 
had  been  long  a  prisoner  to  the  house  through 
sickness,  I  desired  to  be  used,  feeble  instru- 
ment as  I  am,  l^y  my  gracious  Lord,  who  had 
laden  me  with  benefits.  It  was  a  bright  after- 
noon, and  the  necessity  of  air  to  assist  my 
recovery,  after  many  months  of  illness,  led  me 
to  seek  the  will  of  the  Lord  in  what  manner  I 
could  at  the  same  time  serve  him.  The  case 
of  a  sick  person  whom  I  could  perhaps  help 
was  brought  under  my  notice.  I  was  unable 
to  walk,  and  had  it  been  otherwise,  the  dis- 
tance was  beyond  my  strength.  I  therefore 
proposed  taking  a  cab.  Desiring  that  the  Lord 
should  guide  each  step,  I  walked  softly,  that  I 
might  not  miss  any  token  of  his  guiding  hand. 
Several  cabs  passed  me  as  I  waited,  but  I  did 
not  feel  free  to  use  any  of  them.    I  was  weary. 


THE   WAY  OF   THE   LORD.  167 

and  I  sought  the  Lord's  guidance  before  return- 
ing to  the  house,  which  was  within  a  few  yards 
of  the  pLace  where  I  stood.  The  object  of  my 
journey  I  had  seen  plainly  enough  placed  before 
me ;  the  way  of  its  accomplishment  was  yet  to 
be  made  known. 

I  reasoned  in  vain,  and  returned  to  the  sim- 
plicity of  the  babe,  and  prayed  that  my  tender 
Father  would  show  me  in  what  conveyance  he 
would  have  me  go.  My  eye  was  led  to  an  om- 
nibus that  was  waiting  for  a  change  of  horses. 
This  gave  me  time  to  reach  it,  and  on  finding 
that  it  went  to  the  end  of  the  square  I  desired 
to  visit  I  entered  it.  When  I  say  I  felt  God 
with  me,  those  who  know  his  presence  as  their 
joy  and  strength  will  understand  the  feeling 
with  which  I  took  my  seat  in  the  omnibus.  A 
coarse-looking  grazier  fi'om  the  cattle-market 
was  the  only  occupant.  He  was  making  up  his 
accounts,  and  counting  his  money.  I  would 
not  interrupt  him.  I  sat  still  and  prayed. 
But  when  his  accounts  were  finished,  I  offered 
him  a  tract.  His  first  impulse  was  to  thrust 
it  back  ;„  his  second  to  keep  it.     He  looked  at 


168  THE   SECEET   OF   THE   LOED. 

my  mourning  dress,  and  then  in  my  face.  God 
moved  him  to  relent,  and  he  held  the  tract  still 
in  his  hand.  I  spoke  a  few  words,  to  which 
he  gave  a  gruff  but  not  insolent  answer.  The 
omnibus  door  opened,  and  a  gentleman  and 
lady  entered,  the  latter  careless-looking  and 
fashionably  dressed. 

The  grazier's  eyes  said,  as  plainly  as  eyes 
could  say,  "  Ah,  you  gave  a  tract  to  me ;  you'll 
give  none  to  those  fine  folk." 

Again  I  laid  my  feeble  heart  before  the  Rock 
of  my  strength,  and  prayed  him  to  brace  it  for 
the  next  struggle ;  for  I  confess  I  had  found  it 
easier  to  give  the  tract  to  the  rough  grazier 
than  to  the  fine  gentleman. 

Did  you  ever  trust  in  God  and  were  con- 
founded ? 

No !  My  fingers  moved  amongst  the  mes- 
sengers of  mercy,  believing  God  was  with  me. 
I  am  no  heroine ;  my  heart  beat  very  fast,  and 
my  hand  trembled,  but  I  offered  our  smart 
companion  a  tract,  and  the  lady  also,  and  they 
received  them.  The  grazier's  eyes  were  on 
me,  and  he  smiled  such  entu-e  approbation  that 


THE  WAY   OF   THE   LORD.  169 

I  felt  cheered.  Now  he  looked  at  the  tract  I 
had  given  him,  and  then  read  it;  and  with  his 
horny  fingers,  he  smoothed  it  carefully  in  folds, 
and,  opening  his  pocket-book,  laid  it  amongst 
his  paper  money,  and  placed  it  in  his  breast. 

My  weak  hand  was  strong  that  da}^,  for  I 
knew  who  had  done  it  all. 

A  poor  forlorn  woman  joined  us;  she  sat 
near  me,  and  read  a  little  book  that  I  had  given 
her,  and  I  saw  tears  in  her  eyes.  As  each  per- 
son came  in  I  sought  a  fresh  anointing ;  and, 
I  can  truly  say  it,  the  Lord  was  there.  When 
we  reached  my  destination,  I  had  one  messen- 
ger left,  which  I  gave  to  the  conductor,  who 
touched  his  hat  and  put  the  tract  in  his 
pocket. 

The  exercise  of  faith,  and  hope,  and  prayer, 
to  which  the  little  journey  gave  rise,  taught 
me  a  lesson  which  I  have  not  forixotten. 
Surely  the  Lord  will  often  teach  us  in  the 
sunshine  of  his  smile,  if  we  will  be  but  babes. 

There  was  nothing  actually  done  before  my 
eyes  to  show  that  my  tract  distribution  was 
successful.     Granted.     I  had  asked  the  Lord 


170  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LOED. 

to  let  me  serve  liim  —  I,  who  am  the  least  in 
my  Father's  house.  He  knew  what  he  wanted 
done.  1  did  not  ask  for  results,  I  only  asked 
to  do  hi  i  will ;  and  he  gave  me  the  blessed 
consciousness  that  I  had  done  it,  and  that  he 
had  smiled  on  me  in  the  doing. 

Martha  is  often  left  to  "  serve  alone  ;^^  she 
loves  serving.  Mary  is  not  alone  ;  the  object 
of  her.  desire  is  before  her.  Yet  she  is  serving 
him  by  sitting  silently  listening  to  the  voice  of 
the  Beloved.     Oh  to  be  found  oftener  there ! 

Out  of  living  communion  with  a  living  God 
should  flow  life  and  service.  And  there  may 
be  as  much  obedience  in  walking  silently,  or 
hi  traveling  silently,  as  in  giving  tracts  and 
books.  Prayer  is  alwaj^s  ministration,  and  the 
way  is  opened  for  the  word  by  a  mighty  hand, 
if  our  eyes  are  up  unto  Him  who  maketh  a 
way  in  the  darkest  wilderness. 

I  laiow  that  many  are  troubled  in  regard  to 
tract  distribution,  and  also  as  to  speaking  to 
their  fellow-travelers  on  railway  and  other 
journeys.  This  ought  not  to  be.  Waiting  on 
the  Lor  1  will  make  all  plain ;    watching  him 


THE   "WAY   OF   TILE   LORD.  171 

will  prevent  many  a  fiery  dart  of  the  Wicked 
One  from  reaching  tlie  willing  workers ;  and 
the  heart  bent  on  doing  his  will,  and  the  eye 
on  him,  is  ser^'ice,  though  none  else  behold  it. 

The  fact  of  your  having  a  tract  in  your 
pocket,  is  not  the  reason  why  you  should  give 
it,  without  asking  counsel  of  the  Lord.  You 
see  a  wearied  man,  with  closed  eyes,  sitting  in 
a  corner  of  the  carriage.  You  may  know  him 
by  sight,  as  one  of  the  earnest  laborers  in  the 
vineyard.  You  judge  him  —  why  does  he  not 
give  away  tracts,  or  speak  to  these  people  who 
are  talking  recklessl}^  and  lightly  around  ?  Let 
hira  alone.  He  is  resting  his  weary  head  upon 
a  Savioui-'s  loving  bosom ;  he  is  holding  com- 
munion with  him  who  has  upheld  liira  through 
the  labors,  and  trials,  and  temptations  of  the 
day.  And  oh  that  we  had  more  communion, 
in  these  days  of  restless  activity !  Neither 
expect  him  to  give  a  tract,  nor  break  that 
moment's  peace  by  offering  him  one. 

To  walk  with  God  is  the  secret  of  blessing:  • 
less  may  be  visibly  done,  but  that  little  will 
have  glorified  the  Loid  in  the  soul  so  exe)-- 


172     THE  SECEET  OE  THE  LOED. 

cised,  and  bear  on  it  the  impress  of  God's 
work,  not  man'ii. 

TMs  journey  in  the  omnibus  had  a  special 
preparation  for  me.  It  led  me  to  accept  the 
least  service,  if  called  on  to  follow  the  Lord  ; 
and  there  is  great  need  of  watchfulness  to  be 
kept  from  all  delusions  of  Satan,  in  waiting  as 
well  as  working.  The  witness  of  the  Spirit  is 
never  denied  to  the  seeking  soul,  that  desires 
to  be  conformed  to  him  who  came  to  do  the 
will  of  his  Father  and  our  Father. 

I  had  some  business  to  be  transacted  in  a 
distant  part  of  the  country,  for  which  it  ap- 
peared needful  to  employ  a  soUcitor.  He  gave 
me  some  idea  of  the  probable  expense,  which 
far  exceeded  what  I  expected.  Wliile  ponder- 
ing what  the  Lord's  will  was  in  the  case,  it 
came  to  my  mind  that  by  his  help  I  could  go 
myself  and  that  he  would  direct  my  path,  and 
give  me  understanding  of  the  matter  in  hand. 
I  was  not  hasty  in  deciding ;  but  this  was 
from  natural  reasons.  I  hoped  that  some  other 
way  might  yet  be  opened  whereby  I  coidd  es- 
cape the  cross,  for  cross  it  was. 


THE   WAY   OF   THE    LOKD.  173 

After  a  few  days  an  envelope  reached  me, 
containing  the  sura  which  would  have  paid  the 
expenses  of  the  solicitor,  had  he  undertaken 
the  journey  as  he  proposed.  As  far  as  outward 
circumstances  could  be  taken  for  guide,  with- 
out the  witness  of  the  Spirit,  I  should  have 
felt  justified  in  employing  lum,  and  avoiding 
the  journey.  I  believe  this  was  a  test  whether 
I  woidd  serve  the  Lord  or  not.  I  truly  sought 
to  be  guided,  and  the  more  I  watched  and 
prayed,  the  fuller  was  the  confirmation  that 
the  Lord  had  chosen  me  to  go. 

I  had  been  confined  to  my  sick-room  in  my 
little  lodgings  for  the  winter  and  spring.  The 
prostration  consequent  on  over-exertion  told, 
as  it  ever  will,  upon  shattered  nerves  and  an 
over-wrought  fi-ame.  I  could  not  realize  any- 
thing but  pain,  and  the  troubles  and  temp- 
tations of  the  way.  All  happy  communion 
seemed  shut  out  by  clouds  and  shadows.  I 
was  leaving  friends,  with  whom  I  had  happy 
fellowship,  to  go  among  those  who  neither 
loved  my  Lord,  nor  believed  the  full  blessed 
truth  of  revelation.  It  was  indeed  going  down 
into  Egypt. 


174     THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LOED. 

The  day  previous  to  my  departure  my  cup 
was  quite  full.  I  was  tempted  to  think  that  I 
was  acting  out  a  delusion;  and  that  because 
nature  shrank  from  the  journey  I  called  it  a 
cross,  and  wanted  to  bear  it  in  spiritual  pride. 
Satan  came  in  like  a  flood  ;  faith  failed ! 

I  sat  upon  the  floor,  my  portmanteau  was 
half  packed,  and  leaning  my  aching  head  upon 
it,  in  very  wearmess  I  wept  bitterly.  My  pre- 
cious Lord  who  wept  on  earth  was  watching 
the  weeper,  and  waiting  to  heal  and  comfort. 
Among  the  litter  scattered  around  lay  frag- 
ments of  packing-paper,  in  which  some  articles 
from  a  warehouse  had  been  folded.  Mechan- 
ically I  rolled  a  slip  on  my  fingers  ;  as  I  did  so 
the  words  "  the  Lord  Almighty"  caught  my 
eye.  Instantly  I  smoothed  the  torn  and  crum- 
pled leaf,  and  read,  "  i,  u'lio  commanded  thee  to 
take  this  journey^  am  the  Lord  Almighty.  Iivill 
he  with  thee  to  bless  thee.''^ 

Never  will  that  moment  be  obliterated  from 
my  heart,  for  still  in  the  eternal  kindom  I 
shall  tell  the  wondrous  tale  of  eternal  love  to 
the  worst  of  sinners.     Had  Gabriel  suddenly 


THE   "WAY  OF   THE   LORD.  175 

appeared  to  me  as  before  Zacharias,  and  de- 
clared the  message  of  the  Lord  of  Hosts,  these 
glad  tidings  could  not  have  shaken  my  soul 
with  more  astounding  power.  It  was  as  if  God 
were  speaking  face,  to  face  with  me,  as  with 
His  servants  of  old.  I  believed  the  message 
was  for  me.  My  countenance  was  no  more  sad. 
I  finished  my  labors  with  a  light  heart.  AYith- 
out  a  pang  I  left  behind  me  all  I  loved ;  for 
had  not  my  Lord  said,  "  I  ^^dll  be  with  thee  to 
bless  thee"?* 

I  accomplished  my  long  journey,  but  with 
more  obstacles  than  had  hitherto  met  me  on 
my  travels.  We  say,  "  It  is  the  Lord !  "  when 
all  earthly  good  prospers  according  to  our  nat- 
ural desires.  We  inclose  a  great  multitude  of 
fishes,  and  we  believe  God  is  with  us.  But 
when  he  leads  beneath  stormy  skies,  we  do 
not  recognize  the  loving  Lord  who  walks  upon 

*  A  few  words  on  the  message  so  blessedly  used  to  my  solace 
and  deliverauce.  Not  another  sentence  was  legible,  but  a  line 
at  the  edge  of  a  coiTesponding  leaf  opened  to  me  another 
anthem  of  praise.  It  was  a  fragment  of  "  The  Penny  Pulpit," 
and  I  had  prayed  many  times  for  the  preacher  who  had  de- 
livered the  sernH)n ;  why  or  wherefore  I  could  not  tell,  as  I 
had  no  personal  knowledge  of  him  beyond  the  simple  fact 
of  seeing  his  name  in  print,  and  my  mind  being  attracted  to 
him. 


J.  7  6  THE   SECRET   OF   THE  LOE.D. 

the  roiigli  waters  where  our  bark  is  tempest- 
tossed  ;  yet  the  trial  of  faith  and  love  thus 
being  proved  in  these  lonely  hours  with  Jesus 
only,  is  as  mighty  a  display  of  grace,  and  as 
precious  in  his  sight,  as  when  "  the  seventy 
returned  again  with  joy,  sajdng,  Lord,  even 
the  devils  are  subject  unto  us  through  thy 
name."     Luke  x.  17. 

Previous  to  my  leaving  London,  the  editor 
of  "  The  Life  of  Richard  Weaver"  had  called 
on  me,  and  brought  me  the  only  copy  of  the 
book  ready  froui  the  press.  We  prayed  to- 
gether for  the  work  in  general,  and  for  this 
copy  in  particular,  trusting  it  would  have  some 
mission  in  the  worldly  family  where  for  a  brief 
season  I  must  sojourn. 

I  arrived  at  the  house  where  I  was  to  re- 
main, until  the  business  which  had  taken  me 
into  the  country  was  arranged.  In  spite  of  the 
sweet  love-message  which  I  still  cherished,  I 
was  often  heart-sick  and  sad  at  all  that  sur- 
rounded me,  so  utterly  was  my  beloved  Master 
despised.  But  the  Lord  was  using  his  enemies 
for  my  enlargement. 


THE  WAY   OF   THE   LORD.  177 

The  Lord  had  given  me  much  favor  in  the 
eyes  of  the  housekeeper,  a  faithful,  conscien-. 
tious  person,  but  without  any  knowledge  of 
her  own  state  as  a  lost  sinner,  and  consequent- 
ly without  any  desire  after  him  who  is  the 
Saviour,  I  strove  to  lead  her  to  hear  what 
God  had  said  of  our  own  righteousness,  but 
without  any  visible  result.  One  afternoon  she 
told  me  that  a  young  girl,  who  had  been  a  ser- 
vant in  the  family,  lay  sick  at  home.  Her 
mother's  cottage  was  within  a  drive.  She  of- 
fered to  put  a  basket  of  provisions  in  the  car- 
riage, suitable  for  the  sick  girl,  if  I  would  go 
to  the  next  village  and  see  her.  She  was  very 
anxious  that  I  should  not  forget  some  tracts : 
"  And  be  sure,"  she  added,  "  take  your  Bible; 
for  the  poor  sinners  here  have  no  one  to  teach 
them." 

On  this  I  said,  "  Are  you  a  sinner? " 

"  No,"  she  replied  with  an  expression  of 
entire  self-satisfaction ;  "  I  never  did  any  harm 
to  any  one  in  all  my  life  ;  but  these  poor  crea- 
tui'es  are  very  ignorant." 

The  Holy  Ghost  can  alone  convince  of  sjn. 


178     THE  SECEET  OF  THE  LORD. 

She  remained  immovable  ;  and  I  have  since 
thought  that  she  was  glad  to  find  me  service 
outside  the  house,  to  j)revent  my  troubling  the 
peace  within. 

The  carriage  arrived  at  the  door  before  I 
expected  it,  and  hurriedly  taking  my  bag  from 
the  drawing-room  table,  I  was  on  my  way  to 
the  cottage,  accompanied  by  a  pretty,  careless 
girl,  one  of  the  family  of  my  host. 

The  lanes  we  drove  through  were  bright  in 
the  sunshine  after  a  recent  shower,  and  the  air 
was  perfumed  by  the  tasseled  larch,  and  the 
sweet  scent  of  the  meadows.  Everytliing  was 
fresh  and  lovely. 

The  sick-room  in  the  cottage,  and  the  suffer- 
ing face  of  the  poor  invalid,  were  a  contrast  to 
the  scene  without.  Her  mother  was  a  garriv- 
lous  old  woman,  with  a  ready  joke  and  laugh, 
and  appeared  quite  regardless  of  her  daughter's 
state,  which  was  evidently  very  critical.  To 
me  she  seemed  fast  sinking ;  but  the  girl  her- 
self spoke  cheerfully  of  her  recovery,  and  was 
sanguine  of  soon  taking  her  place  again  in  the 
household  which  she  served. 


THE   WAY   OF   THE   LORD.  179 

"With  such  companions,  the  task  of  visiting 
this  poor  gill  Avith  purposes  of  love  Av-as  an 
almost  hopeless  matter,  as  far  as  the  instru- 
ment was  concerned.  But  my  trust  was  not 
in  an  arm  of  flesh,  but  in  the  living  God.  I 
prayed,  and  waited.  Soon  I  saw  the  Lord 
working  for  me.  The  old  woman  led  my  com- 
panion to  the  end  of  a  long  granar}'-,  where 
their  voices  were  scarcely  audible,  and  thence 
into  the  garden,  and  I  was  left  alone  with  the 
sick  girl.  I  at  once  spoke  to  her  of  the  possi- 
ble termination  of  her  sickness  by  death,  and 
asked  her  if  she  knew  anything  of  Jesus  as  the 
good  Shepherd  and  the  great  Physician.  The 
face  of  the  girl  was  turned  to  me  in  wonder. 
She  listened  as  if  it  were  a  new  song.  She  did 
not  sa}^  she  "hoped  that  her  sins  were  par- 
doned," or  she  "  trusted  that  God  would  be 
merciful."  She  only  looked  up  into  my  face 
with  eager  and  absorbed  interest,  leaning  on 
her  elbow  towards  me,  as  if  she  would  not 
lose  a  word.  But  as  I  told  her,  if  she  saw 
herself  a  sinner,  that  Jesus  stood  there  ready 
to  receive  her,  the  tears  fell  fast  over  her  wan 


180  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

face,  while  an  expression  of  grateful  love 
liglited  up  her  countenance.  I  repeated  a  few 
texts  to  lier,  and,  finding  that  we  were  still 
undisturbed,  I  opened  my  bag  for  my  Bible. 
Great  was  my  consternation ;  no  Bible  was 
there,  nor  even  a  tract,  —  only  the  "Life  of 
Richard  Weaver,"  wliich  I  had  taken  by  mis- 
take for  my  pocket  Bible  as  it  lay  beside  it. 
Disappointed  and  grieved,  I  replaced  it  in  my 
bag.  We  were  interrupted  by  my  companion, 
who  summoned  me  to  the  carriage.  M}'  time 
had  expired.  With  a  sense  of  utter  helpless- 
ness, and  in  deep  regret  for  my  want  of  care, 
I  lifted  up  my  heart  to  the  Lord  who  is  mighty 
to  save. 

I  felt  strangely  comforted.  With  my  hand 
on  the  book,  the  whisper  of  that  voice  of  love, 
which  is  heard  when  the  earth  keeps  silence 
before  it,  came  distinct  and  clear,  "  Give  ity 
Again  I  lifted  up  my  heart,  and  again  came 
the  gentle  suggestion  "  Give  it."  With  a 
silent  prayer  for  spiritual  blessing,  I  gave  the 
book,  and  told  the  poor  girl  it  was  hers  if  she 
desired  it.     She   looked   at  the  bright  green 


THE   WAY  OF   THE   LORD.  181 

cover,  and  turning  over  a  page  or  two,  her  eye 
lingered  delightedly  on  a  paragraph  concerning 
the  lost  sheep.  Her  face  beaming  Avith  joy, 
she  eagerly  thrust  the  volume  in  the  bed,  as 
her  ■  mother  entered  the  room.  I  bade  the 
poor  girl  farewell,  promising  soon  to  see  her 
again,  if  the  Lord  permitted.  The  loving  look 
of  gratitude  which  followed  me  to  the  door 
soothed  and  cheered  me.  I  felt  that  I  had 
done  nothing  but  lead  her  thouG:hts  to  the 
probable  termination  of  her  illness,  and  to  the 
mighty  love  of  the  good  Shepherd,  who  laid 
down  his  life  for  his  sheep. 

On  my  return,  I  told  the  housekeeper  how 
ill  I  thought  the  servant ;  but  she  would  not 
beheve  it,  and  insisted  on  keeping  open  her 
place  in  the  household,  confident  that  she 
would  be  able  to  resume  her  duties,  as  she  had 
done  before.  I  was  suddenly  called  away,  and 
was  detained  for  a  fortnight.  My  first  question 
on  entering  the  house  again  was,  "  How  is 
Susan?" 

"  Dead ! "  was  the  startling  reply  that  fell 
heavily  on  my  ear. 


182     THE  SECKET  OF  THE  LORD. 

"  Dead !  "  I  repeated. 

"  Yes,  dead  —  died  mad !  And  they  say  you 
made  her  so.  And  they  are  all  ready  to  do 
anything  to  you,  if  you  go  there." 

"Mad!"  I  said,  greatly  shocked.  "What 
did  she  do?" 

-'  Why  she  cried  all  night,  and  said  she  was 
going  to  hell,  and  called  herself  a  lost  sinner, 
poor  young  creature.  She  begged  her  mother 
to  fetch  the  kind  lady  who  had  spoken  to  her, 
for  she  would  help  her." 

"  And  did  she  come  ?  "  I  inquired,  trembling 
lest  they  had  sought  for  me  in  vain. 

"  No  !  "  replied  the  indignant  housekeeper ; 
"  it  was  something  in  that  book  you  gave  her 
that  did  the  mischief.  She  read  it,  and  read 
it  again,  and  cried  and  sobbed.  At  last  they 
fetched  the  doctor.  He  ordered  the  book  to 
be  taken  away,  and  said  it  had  killed  her, 
though  he  had  not  been  to  see  her  for  weekb. 
But  she  wept  and  prayed  to  have  her  book 
again.  So  they  sent  for  the  parson.  He  said 
her  mind  was  quite  gone,  and  you  and  your 
book  had  done  it. 


THE  WAY   OF   THE  LORD.  183 

"  Two  or  three  days  after  this  she  awoke  her 
mother  early  in  the  morning.  She  was  quite 
cheerful.  She  said,  '  Mother,  I  am  so  happy ; 
I  am  going  to  live  with  Jesus  ;  I  have  seen  it 
all  in  a  di-eam.  I  shall  walk  with  him  in  the 
green  pastures  I  saw  las.t  night.'  " 

And  with  some  few  more  words  precious  to 
my  sorrowful  heart,  she  died. 

Lord  God  Almighty,  thou  art  faithful !  Ac- 
cording to  thy  promise  thou  didst  go  with  me 
on  this  journc}^  and  thou  didst  bless  me. 
Glory  to  thee  alone  ! 

The  housekeeper,  however  much  she  was 
opposed  to  the  doctrine  of  grace,  prepared  my 
way  from  time  to  time  among  "  the  poor  sin- 
ners." Three  of  these  were  backsliders.  One 
from  marriage  with  an  unbeliever ;  the  others, 
like  Lot,  had  chosen  the  fertile  land,  and  dis- 
regarded the  upper  springs.  Thus  from  luke- 
warmness  they  had  fallen  into  careless  walking 
and  deadness  of  soul. 

The  housekeeper,  notwithstanding  her  dis- 
pleasure at  the  loss  of  her  favorite  servant, 
begged  the  book  which,  as  she  said,  had  been 


184  THE  SECRET   OF   THE  LORD. 

the  cause  of  her  death,  to  keep  in  remembrance 
of  her.  My  o.wn  path  was  full  of  trial ;  but 
abounding  grace  sustained,  protected,  and  de- 
livered me. 

Dear  reader,  if  you  go  into  Egypt,  be  sure 
the  God  of  Israel  has  commanded  you ;  then 
"  be  strong  and  of  good  courage ;  be  not  afraid, 
neither  be  thou  dismayed :  for  the  Lord  thy 
God  is  with  thee  whithersoever  thou  goest." 
Joshua  i.  9.  .  ■ 

I  do  not  ask  it  otherwise, 

O  spotless  Son  of  God; 
I  do  not  ask  to  tread  a  path 

That  thou  hast  never  trod. 

Better  to  suffer  — better  far 

To  taste  the  cup  of  woe 
Than  miss  thy  smile  of  tenderness, 

My  light  and  joy  below. 

It  is  enough  to  know  thy  will. 

And  meekly  follow  Ihee  ; 
Enough!    Thou  wilt  not  lead  me,  Liord, 

Where  thou  canst  never  be. 

Then  shall  I  weigh  the  worldling's  sneer. 

Or  dread  the  laugh  of  scorn; 
Sharuig  with  thy  sweet  fellowship, 

The  griefs  that  thou  hast  borne? 


THE  SYMPATHY  OF   JESUS.  185 


CHAPTER    VIII. 

THE    SYjMPATHY    OF   JESUS. 

Axe  not  two  sparrows  sold  for  a  farthing?  and  one  of  them 
sliall  not  fall  on  the  ground  witliout  your  Father.  But 
the  very  hairs  of  your  liead  are  ;iU  numbered.  Fear  ye 
not  therefore  :  ye  are  of  more  value  thau  many  sparrows. 
—  Matt.  x.  29—31. 

JHERE  is  nothing  great  or  small  to  Him 
who  rules  the  world.  Page  after  page 
in  God's  blessed  book  reveals  this.  Those 
who  delight  to  follow  the  unfolding  of  the 
Divine  purpose,  in  the  minute  chain  of  cir- 
cumstance developed  there,  will  love  to  see 
God  everywhere,  and  to  find  a  speech  and 
language  in  the  daily  events  of  life :  the  heart 
will  be  fuU  of  him  who  filleth  aU  creation. 

When  the  stripling  shepherd  took  the  parched 
corn  and  loaves  to  his  brethren,  it  was  his  fii'st 
step  towards  the  throne.  Aliasuerus's  sleep- 
less night  led  to  Mordecai's  promotion.  When 
Ruth  went  forth  to  glean  in  the  fields  of  Boaz, 
she  knew  not  that  her  foot  was  on  her  own 


186     THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LOKD. 

fair  inheritance.  When  the  woman  of  Samaria 
carried  her  pitcher  to  the  well,  it  was  to  meet 
one  greater  than  her  father  Abraham,  and  one 
who  gave  unto  her  the  living  water. 

The  Lord,  who  would  have  his  own  to  be 
all  things  to  all  men,  will  be  all  things  to  us 
according  to  our  faith.  To  the  soul  that  will 
only  be  satisfied  with  intimate  and  unbroken 
fellowship  he  manifests  himself  as  the  Friend 
who  sticketh  closer  than  a  brother.  What- 
ever thy  need,  the  almighty  Lord  can  meet 
it.  Aforetime  he  condescended  to  encourage 
the  timorous  Gideon  by  a  twofold  sign,  and 
strengthen  him  by  the  narration  of  a  dream. 
He  manifests  himself  to  the  doubting  Thomas 
in  the  way  best  calculated  to  dispel  his  doubt 
and  remove  his  unbelief. 

He  is  still  the  same  Jesus.  He  knows  the 
hearts  he  has  to  deal  with.  He  knew  what 
we  were  when  he  called  us  to  follow  liim. 
He  forsaw  that  we  should  distrust  him,  deny 
him,  forsake  him.  But  he  is  the  almighty  God, 
and  not  man ;  he  loves  us  with  an  everlasting 
love. 


THE   SYMPATHY   OF   JESUS.  187 

Tlie  Lord  who  said,  "  I  will  bring  the  blind  by 
a  way  they  know  not,"  also  promised,  "  Thine 
ears  shall  hear  a  word  behind  thee,  saying.  This 
is  the  way,  walk  ye  in  it,  wlien  ye  turn  to  the 
rieht  hand,  and  when  ve  turn  to  the  left." 

You  commit  yourself  to  the  guidance  of 
even  a  stranger  who  knows  the  point  you  de- 
sire to  reach  ;  and  when  you  hear  his  voice 
cheering  you  onward,  you  take  courage,  though 
the  mountain  path  be  steep,  and  the  mists  blind 
your  eyes.  Will  you  give  less  confiding  trust 
to  Him  who  saitli,  "  All  power  is  given  unto 
me  in  heaven  and  in  earth  ;"  "  Follow  me"? 

The  minute  thread  of  heavenly  blessing  run- 
ning through  the  following  incident,  I  always 
remember,  as  one  of  the  teachers  Avhich  the 
Lord  has  chosen  I  should  behold  for  his  praise 
and  glory.     Isa.  xxx.  20. 

One  morning  I  found  on  my  writing-table 
two  numbers  of  The  Revival  which  had  been 
removed  from  a  drawer,  Avhere  the  periodical 
usually  remained  until  the  end  of  the  month, 
when  I  forwarded  a  package  into  the  country. 


188  THE   SECRET   OF  THE   LORD. 

I  replaced  them.  The  following  day  the  ser- 
vant had  placed  them  again  on  my  writing- 
table  with  some  books.  They  were  in  my  way  ; 
impatiently  I  put  them  aside.  As  I  did  so,  I 
felt  ashamed  of  my  impetuosity,  and  sat  down 
before  the  Lord  grieved  in  spirit.  I  considered 
how  often  I  was  irritated  by  trifles,  in  which, 
when  I  had  taken  them  to  him,  I  subsequently 
found  blessing,  and  I  began  to  inquire  of  the 
Lord  why  it  was  thus. 

I  thought  that  I  might  have  omitted  to  read 
one  of  these  papers ;  but,  on  looking  at  the 
date,  I  remembered  that  it  was  a  very  inter- 
esting number ;  and  as  I  held  it  prayerfully  in 
my  hand,  it  struck  me  that  I  had  possibly 
overlooked  something  that  the  Lord  intended 
as  a  blessing  for  me.  I  carefully  perused  the 
first  page  or  two,  when  my  attention  was 
arrested  by  the  account  of  a  blind  boy  learn- 
ing to  read  by  means  of  raised  letters.  I  had 
read  it  all  before,  but  I  could  proceed  no  fur- 
ther. The  Spirit  of  the  Lord  most  clearly 
said  to  me  — 

"  Send  him  eighteen-pence." 


THE   SYJIPATHY   OF   JESUS.  189 

I  replied,  "  Lord,  I  know  not  where  he 
lives." 

I  sat  quietly  waiting,  and  it  was  brought  to 
my  mind  that  I  could  forward  the  money  to  a 
person  living  in  or  near  the  same  village,  and 
that  thus  it  would  reach  him.  A  text  was  given 
me  to  inclose,  which  I  wrote.  I  addressed  an 
envelope  to  the  person  who  should  forward 
the  stamps,  and  proceeded  to  direct  one  to  the 
blind  youth  himself.  One  or  two  very  com- 
mon envelopes  lay  before  me,  but  m}^  hand 
was  on  a  good  one  with  a  deep  mourning  bor- 
der. I  reasoned  that  the  common  one  would  do 
equally  well,  and  laid  the  other  aside.  Hast- 
ily completing  the  matter,  I  sought  a  messenger 
to  post  my  letter. 

In  vain.  The  rain  poured  in  torrents.  But 
rain  or  sunshine  was  of  little  account  to  me  ; 
a  desolation  of  spirit  had  fallen  on  me,  which 
no  sunshine  could  dispel.  Amazed  and  afraid, 
I  inquired,  as  I  often  have  to  do,  "  Why  is  it 
thus  Avith  me  ?  "  "  Had  I  not  done  the  Loi  d's 
will  in  the  Lord's  time?"  Yes.  But  had  I 
done  it  in  the  Lord's  way  ?     I  took  the  letter 


190      THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

from  the  mantle-slielf,  an'l  opened  it.  There 
was  the  text  as  given  —  the  stamps  my  loving 
Lord  had  permitted  me  to  send.  Something 
was  lacking  :  what  was  it  ?  It  was  the  best 
envelope. 

I  argued,  "  The  blind  boy  cannot  see  it." 
Nay ;  it  was  for  the  Lord. 

At  last  I  thought,  Can  it  really  be  that  the 
Lord  wishes  me  to  use  the  best  envelope  ? 
Then  I  was  wilUng  to  be  a  fool  for  Christ's 
sake  ;  and  I  was  able  to  say,  "  Lord,  it  is  a 
little  thing ;  but  it  is  better  to  do  it,  belie\^ng 
it  is  thy  will,  than  miss  thee  by  not  -doing 
it."  Accordingly  I  addressed  the  long  black- 
bordered  envelope  to  the  blind  boy,  and  again 
inclosed  it. 

Then  the  earth-mist  of  unbelief  floated  away 
before  the  light  of  the  Sun  of  Righteousness, 
and  my  heart  was  glad.  Before  the  post  time 
a  messenger  was  found,  for  the  rain  had  cea'scd. 
My  letter  was  posted,  and  I  rested  peacef'olly 
on  the  Rock  of  my  heart. 

It  was  bread  cast  upon  the  waters.  About 
two  months  after  this,  in  a  seasou  of  great 


THE  SYIMPATHY  OP   JESUS.  191 

depression  from  trial  and  temptation,  a  dear 
servant  of  the  Lord  called  on  me.  I  was  not 
in  the  house ;  but  the  servant  sought  me, 
saj'ing  a  sti-anger  had  called,  and  that  he 
could  onlv  remain  a  short  time.  I  went  in 
full  of  hope.  I  knew  not  why.  I  felt  sure 
the  Lord  would  comfort  me  through  his  own 
messenger. 

After  we  had  spoken  a  little,  he  said,  smil- 
ing, "  So  you  have  a  correspondent  at  K ?  " 

"  No,"  I  replied  ;  "  I  have  none  there." 

"  That  is  strange,"  he  answered  ;  "  I  thought 
I  knew  your  handwriting.  I  was  in  a  cottage 
there  one  day,  and  among  the  papers  and  let- 
ters in  the  casement  I  saw  a  black-bqrdered 
envelope.  This  attracted  my  attention,  and 
I  said  to  .the  woman,  '  Who  is  your  corre- 
spondent?'" 

"  'Ah,  sir,'  she  replied,  '  that  is  a  wonderful 
answer  to  prayer.  Poor  Leonard  has  his  "  blind 
books,"  you  know.  He  has  almost  all  the  Tes- 
tament now,  and  he  wanted  a  box  for  them. 
The  carpenter  said  that  he  would  make  him 
one  for  fifteen-pence.     So  Leonard  prayed  to 


192     THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LOED. 

the  Lord  to  send  him  the  money.  There  came 
this  letter,  as  you  see,  with  eighteen-pence  in 
stamps  and  this  text,  which  was  indeed  for  him. 
We  don't  know  the  name ;  but  Leonard  always 
prays  for  his  "  friend  in  London."  '  " 

Precious,  precious  return !  a  flood  of  thanks- 
giving rushed  through  my  clouded  heart,  and 
carried  doubt  and  distrust  away. 

The  gracious  Teacher  who  was  molding  my 
ungracious  heart  was  gathering  up  the  blind 
boy's  prayer.  "  Fear  not,  ye  are  of  more  value 
than  many  sparrows." 

"  What  is  thy  Beloved  more  than  another 
beloved,  that  thou  dost  so  charge  us?  "  Song 
of  Solomon,  v.  9. 


"Saw  ye  my  soul's  Beloved, 
The  faitliful  and  the  tnie? 

Tell  him  I  seek  him,  sighing. 
Longing  to  see  him  too. 

"  Tell  him,  oh,  tell  him  for  me, 

His  steps  I  cannot  trace ; 
I  pine  till  he  restore  me 
The  sunshine  of  Ms  face." 

"Wlio  is  thy  soul's  Beloved? 
And  whither  is  he  gone? 
Wliy  charge  us  thus?    We  know  not 
Thy  lost  beloved  one." 


THE   SYJ\U*ATHY   OF  JESUS.  19<J 

"Jly  Love  Is  white  and  rnady: 
Who  can  his  chanus  declare? 
The  chief  among  ten  thousand, 
And  altogether  fair. 

"  I  slnmbered  in  the  garden, 
I  wandered  from  the  way, 
I  lost  the  light  that  led  me, 
My  joy  has  passed  away. 


"  I  sought  hiiu  in  the  broad  way. 
In  the  city's  streets  in  vain; 
Beturning  to  tlie  valley, 
I  found  my  Love  again." 

B}^  visible  and  bj  in\'isible  means  the  Lord 
answers  the  need  of  the  heart.  His  resources 
are  infinite,  and  he  loves  that  we  should  believe 
they  are  so. 

A  few  3-ears  ago  my  faith  was  tried  by  the 
agony  of  a  bereaved  mother  weeping  for  her 
first-born.  Grief  had  blinded  her  eyes  to  life's 
daily  duties  and  to  God's  tender  love.  In  vain  I 
sought  to  comfort  her  ;  it  was  human  comfort ; 
the  -words  fell  on  her  ear,  but  never  touched 
her  heart.  She  only  realized  her  darling  in  the 
grave,  and  sighed  to  behold  him  again. 

At  last  one  evening  I  felt  I  had  been  seeking 
to  console  her  myself,  and  had  not  carried  her 
grief  to  him  who  is  the  Comforter.     I  prayed 


1Q4      THE  SECEET  OF  THE  LORD. 

him  that  uight  to  soothe  and  comfort  her  iu 
his  own  way :  for  only  he  who  made  a  parent's 
heart  so  tender,  and  knew  the  treasure  he  had 
gathered,  could  minister  to  her  overwrought 
mind.  I  left  her  for  the  first  time  at  the  mercy- 
seat.  The  following  morning  she  met  me  with 
a  smile.  She  told  me  that  in  a  dream  of  the 
night  she  had  beheld  her  child,  bright  and 
blooming  as  before  the  brief  illness  which 
carried  him  to  his  rest.  He  drew  back  the 
blue  curtain  of  the  sky,  and  smiling  upon  her, 
told  her  she  must  wait  a  little  longer  patientlj", 
and  that  then  they  should  meet  again. 

I  was  touched  by  the  gracious  pity  that  fell 
on  the  sorrow  of  a  mother's  heart ;  and  she 
learned  'another  lesson  of  heavenly  love,  and 
was  comforted. 

She  knew  her  child  was  safe  with  Jesus. 
There  was  no  assurance  needed  for  that ;  nor 
would  a  dream  or  vision  have  strengthened 
her  conviction.  Bright  was  the  testmiony  of 
the  power  of  the  life  of  Christ  in  her  son,  a 
boy  of  twelve  years  -of  age.  We  had  only  to 
ti'ack  his  footsteps  hc)\'  to  know  liis  resting' 


THE   SYMPATUV    OF   JESUS.  19") 

{Aace  there,  O  bruised  and  blcediDg  heaits  I 
seek  ye  the  pierced  band  of  Jesns,  Avbo  came 
to  bind  up  the  broken-hearted  and  comfort  all 
that  mourn.  The  sympathy  of  the  Lord  is 
full  and  free,  and  unlike  our  niggard  gift  of 
love  to  others. 

There  was  a  Christian  girl  who  had  a  friend 
to  whom  she  was  tenderly  attached.  The  foun- 
dation of  that  friendship  was  the  only  one  that 
never  fails  —  it  was  knit  in  Christ.  The  means 
of  instruction  were  scant  around  them,  and 
the  two  young  witnesses  stood  alone  in  their 
families,  helping  and  encouraging  each  other 
on  a  way  beset  with  diiEculties.  The  one 
Avitli  whom  I  was  acquainted  was  assailed  with 
temptation,  partly  on  questions  as  to  the  sepa- 
rate state  —  a  wile  of  the  Evil  One  to  tli-aw 
her  from  her  simplicit}',  and  entangle  her  in 
vain  philosophy. 

She  proposed  to  her  friend,  that  in  case  of 
the  deatli  of  either  of  them,  if  still  together, 
they  should  mutually  strengthen  each  othei 
by  making  known  any  consciousness  of  glorj 
beyond  the  grave. 


11*6  THE   SECKET    OF   THE    LORD. 

She  said  to  me,  "  My  dear  Helen  fell  sick 
soon  after.  Great  was  m}*  grief.  In  the  few 
weeks  during  which  she  vras  rapidlj'^  fading, 
her  growth  in  grace  was  so  visible  that  I  know 
now  that  the  Holy  Ghost  was  her  teacher. 
She  told  me  that  she  was  thankful  for  her  ill- 
ness, as  it  left  her  more  alone  with  Jesus,  and 
she  could  now  pass  much  of  her  time  on  her 
knees, 

"  I  did  not  realize  that  I  should  lose  her,  or 
know  how  my  heart  would  be  drawn  from  my 
dying  to  my  undjdng  Friend.  She  grew  sud- 
denly worse.  I  was  sent  for  at  her  request, 
and  when  I  entered  the  room  I  saw  that  she 
was  greatly  changed.  She  lay  motionless,  with- 
out evidence  of  life.  I  feared  that  she  had 
passed  away,  and  I  had  not  been  near  her  to 
receive  her  last  look  or  hear  her  last  word. 

"  After  long  waiting  her  pulse  again  beat. 
A  faint  color  appeared  on  her  lips,  while  her 
face  literall}"  shone  like  an  angel's. 

"  She  turned  to  me,  and  said  in  a  clear 
voice,  '  I  have  been  to  heaven !  but  I  shall 
remam  here  a  little  longer.     Such  nearness  to 


THE   SYMPATHY   OF   JESUS.  197 

Clirist  ha-ve  I  experienced  !  sucli  views  of  the 
atonement !  It  is  impossible  to  speak  of  it  or 
describe  it.' 

"  I  said  to  her,  '  Remember,  Helen,  if  you 
see  or  know  anything  of  the  glory  as  you  leave 
me,  let  me  know.'  'I  will,'  she  answered 
solemnly  ;  'it  is  a  covenant  between  us.' 

"  She  appeared  better ;  but  I  returned  home, 
heavy  at  heart  to  leave  her. 

"  Before  many  days  had  passed,  drawn  by 
the  force  of  our  fond  eternal  affection,  I  again 
returned  to  her.  As  I  had  feared,  my  beloved 
friend  was  suddenly  worse.  Convulsions  had 
seized  her.  Her  end  threatened  to  be  one  of 
terrible  sufferings.  Vainly  her  nm-se  and  some 
of  her  family  sought  to  dissuade  me  from  wit- 
nessing them,  as  I  could  not  relieve  them.  I 
took  my  place  by  her  side ;  the  convulsions 
ceased  ;  she  became  calm  and  still ;  I  bent 
over  her;  she  smiled  sweetly,  and  said,  'No 
valley  ;  no  shadow.'     Then  all  was  quiet. 

"  '  All  is  over  ! '  said  the  sister,  trying  to 
lend  me  from  the  bed.  Nay;  for  me  all  was 
not  over. 


198  THE   SECRET   OF   TILE  LORD. 

"  She  lay  still  and  motionless ;  every  pulse 
had  ceased.     The  nurse  closed  her  eyes. 

"  I  knelt  beside  her,  and  took  in  mine  the 
deathly  hand  which  lay  lifeless  by  her  side. 

"  Amid  my  sobs  of  anguish  I  exclaimed, 
'  Helen  !  Helen  !  do  3'ou  know  me  ?  Do  3'ou 
remember  our  covenant  ?  ' 

"  Never  can  I  describe  that  moment.  The 
eyes  that  had  seemed  closed  for  ever  now 
opened  again.  She  gazed  in  my  face.  That 
look  I  shall  never  forget.  Such  eyes,  I  should 
think,  have  the  angels  before  the  throne.  In 
a  sweet,  distinct,  most  thrilling  voice,  she  said, 

"  '  I  am  just  eyitering  heaven  .'' 

"  Her  eyelids  fell ;  her  lips  closed ;  all  was 
still ;  she  never  moved  again." 

God  in  his  pitiful  love  to  the  tempted  one 
had  sent  her  friend  back  to  show  heaven  in 
her  face.  Like  Thomas,  we  can  onl}-  saj-, 
"  IMy  Lord  and  my  God  !  "  "  Blessed  are  they 
who  have  not  seen,  and  yet  have  believed." 

Who  shall  hmit  the  love  and  jiower  of  the 
Holy  One  of  Israel,  "  who  giveth  not  account 


THE   SYMPArilY   OF   JESUS.  199 

of  any  of  his  matters  ?  "  "  For  God  speaketh 
oijce,  yea  twice,  yet  man  perccivetli  it  not. 
In  a  dream,  in  a  vision  of  the  night,  when  deep 
sleep  falleth  upon  men,  in  slumberings  upon 
the  bed ;  then  he  openeth  the  ears  of  men,  and 
sealeth  their  instruction."     Job  xxxiii.  14-16. 

The  eternal  Father  is  God,  and  not  man  : 
lie  meets  the  jooor  and  ignorant,  and  them 
that  are  out  of  the  way,  with  that  Divine  love 
we  are  so  slow  to  believe,  and  of  which  we  are 
so  cruelly  suspicious. 

One  day  I  was  in  great  sorrow  over  the 
backijliding  of  a  dear  brother.  I  felt  as  if 
Satan  stood  b}'  to  resist  every  effort  I  made 
to  help  this  wanderer. 

During  a  night  of  special  prayer  and  many 
tears,  the  word  came  to  my  mmd,  "  If  thou 
wouldest  believe,  thou  shouldest  see  the  glory 
of  God."  I  took  my  Bible  to  comfort  my 
heart  with  God's  blessed  promises,  and  I 
opened  at  John  xi.  "  Thy  brother  shall  rise 
again." 

"  Said  I  not  unto  thee,  if  thou  wouldest  be- 
lieve f'    Blessed  promise  !    I  did  believe  ;  but 


200  THE   SECRET    OF   THE   LORD. 

it  was  not  an  abiding  belief.  I  loolLed  on  the 
waves  of  circumstances,  and  not  on  him  who 
ruled  them.  All  without  was  dark ;  and  I, 
more  sad-hearted  and  dispirited,  Hstened  to 
the  tempter's  voice,  "  Hath  God  said  ?  " 

I  sat  in  the  garden  praying  to  the  gracious 
Comforter  to  comfort  me,  and  to  deliver  his 
wandering  child.  As  I  prayed  I  received 
strength  to  take  God  at  his  word. 

My  eye  was  attracted  to  a  spider's  web  on  a 
rose  tree  near  me  in  the  sunlight.  A  poor  fly 
was  caught  in  the  mesh  ;  the  more  it  strug- 
gled, the  deeper  it  was  entangled.  I  felt 
fascinated,  so  that  I  could  not  withdraw  my 
eyes.  The  great  black  spider  in  ambush  was 
ready  to  destroy  his  victim.  All  hope  seemed 
over,  when  a  blast  of  wind  rent  the  prison  in 
twain,  and  the  bright-winged  captive  flew  by 
me  in  freedom.     Then  I  praised  the  Lord. 

Six  long  years  of  waiting,  with  the  promise 
given  me  often  conned,  and  the  picture  of  the 
broken  web  often  before  me,  when  lo  !  the 
stone  was  rolled  away,  and  he  that  was  dead 
came  forth. 


THE   SYMPATHY   OF   JESUS.  201 

"  i\Iy  Fatlier  !  I  Uuink  tlice  that  thou  hast 
heard  nie." 

A  day  or  two  after  this  blessed  assurance  of 
life  was  given  me,  I  received  a  letter  fiora  a 
Christian  friend,  and  she  gave  me  for  my  por- 
tion—  "Said  I  not  unto  thee,  that,  if  thou 
wouldest  believe,  thou  shouldest  see  the  glory 
of  God  ?  " 

I  did  not  apply  it  at  once,  yet  the  words 
deeply  impressed  ray  heart.  But  in  the 
nightwatch  the  word  came  again,  and  I  was 
led  back  step  by  step  through  my  hopeless 
unbelief,  my  cruel  doubt  of  God's  faithfuhiess, 
my  read}'-  ear  to  the  tempter's  voice,  the  night 
of  weeping,  and  the  morning  of  hope,  when  in 
a  parable  the  Lord  wrought  out  his  loving 
promise  ;  and,  in  tears  of  joy  and  mingled 
shame  at  my  own  unfaithfulness,  I  again 
exclaimed  — 

"  This  God  is  my  God  for  ever  and  ever  I 
Ho  shall  be  my  guide  even  unto  death  !  " 

"On';/  b'li'i-i-  ?  "     O  wondrous  word:, 

Tliiit  wake  the  doubt  iiiff  sours  dull  chords  1 

"r  is  Jesus  i)Ie;idelh  thus. 
"  Only  believe ! "    O  Lord  of  light, 
Help  us  to  watch  for  ;hee  by  night, 

Who  watched  long  nights  for  us. 


202  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

Thou  art  "  the  same,"  though  faith  is  low; 
From  tliee  the  streams  of  mercy  flow; 

Jehovah  Lord !  ''The  same" 
To-morvow,  yesterday,  to-day: 
Unchanged  thy  word  with  us  shalt  stay. 

For  Faitliful  is  thy  name. 

The  Holy  One  of  Israel  is  not  limited  to 
time  or  place  or  circumstance ;  it  is  the  natural 
understanding  that  limits  him.  Often  has  he 
opened  my  ears  in  the  night  season,  and  sealed 
instruction  for  mj'self  and  for  others  who  were 
on  my  heart.  The  following  dream  influenced 
my  spiritual  life,  and,  as  I  have  spread  it  be- 
fore the  Lord,  light  has  dawned  upon  it,  and 
it  became  a  teacher  leading  me  to  profit. 

I  was  alone  in  sickness  among  strangers. 
All  probability  of  my  recovery  at  this  time 
was  over.  I  had  only  one  desire,  to  bear  tes- 
timony before  the  world  as  to  what  the  Lord 
had  done  for  my  soid,  and  to  depart  and  be 
with  Christ,  which  is  far  better.  I  looked 
with  complacenc}^  on  increasing  weakness ; 
and  the  longing  of  my  soul  to  be  with  Him 
who  had  redeemed  me,  hid  from  me  the 
blessed  privilege  of  serving  and  suffering  for 
him  on  eaj'th. 


THE   SYlSirATIlY   OF   JESUS.  203 

I  had  no  desivc  to  return  to  life,  and  its 
snares  and  conflicts.  I  feared  that  if  healtli 
should  Le  renewed,  I  might  dishonor  him  who 
had  done  such  great  things  for  me.  I  had  yet 
to  learn  tliat  the  Saviour  from  eternal  death 
was  the  Saviour  from  sin  —  the  great  High 
Priest,  the  ever-living  sacrifice. 

In  a  vision  of  the  night  I  was  sailing  alone 
in  a  dark  vessel  over  the  Avild  murky  sea, 
heavy  clouds  above  me,  the  wide  waters 
around  me.  As.  I  proceeded  the  sky  became 
brighter,  the  waves  calmer,  and  I  beheld  in 
the  distance  the  faint  outline  of  a  headland 
jutting  into  the  ocean.  As  I  neared  it  land 
extended  far  and  wide  before  me.  Every 
moment  it  was  more  clearly  discernible.  Most 
beautiful  was  that  calm  sunlit  shore. 

I  felt  my  voyage  was  over.  As  my  temp- 
est-tossed bark  neared  the  coast,  more  and 
more  of  the  glorious  land  opened  on  my  sight. 
I  saw  angehc  forms  awaiting  me  ;  but  I  only 
thought  of  One  whom  I  saw  not.  Mv  foot 
was  on  the  prow  of  my  boat.  With  a  raptur- 
ous shout  of  joy  I  was  about  to  spring  od 


204  THE   SECEET   OF   THE   LORD. 

shore,  when  from  out  a  giory-cloud  above  me 
came  forth  the  hand  of  a  man.  It  pressed 
gently  but  firmly  on  my  breast,  so  that  I  was 
impelled  backward  to  the  seat  I  had  quitted. 
Then  it  was  withdrawn.  My  boat  returned 
to  the  ocean,  under  the  lowering  sky,  and  into 
the  chill  atmosphere  ;  and  the  "  delightsome  " 
land  receded  from  my  view. 

"  Go  hack  and  save  others^''''  said  a  sweet  and 
sonorous  voice.  The  oars  were  placed  in  my 
hands,  but  I  plied  them  so  feebly  that  the  boat 
seemed  to  lie  motionless  like  a  log  upon  the 
water,  and  I  said  mournfully,  "  I  make  no 
progress." 

Then  I  beheld  a  huge  vessel  strike  upon  a 
rock.  It  went  to  peices.  Hundreds  of  people 
were  drowning :  many  clung  to  floating  spars ; 
some  battled  with  the  waters,  then  sinking 
were  seen  no  more. 

A  sharp  anchor  was  cast  into  my  heart  by 
an  unseen  hand  ;  to  the  anchor  a  long  cable 
was  attached,  which  floated  far  and  wide  upon 
the  waters.  One  after  another  clung  to  the 
cable.     I  could  not  see  the  way  I  v^-as  going  -• 


THE   SYMPATHY   OF   JESUS.  205 

I  sccmccl  stationary,  and  again  went  i.p  my 
ci'}',  "  I  make  no  "way." 

Tlicn  I  heard  a  voice  sa3'ing  to  me,  "  Look 
back,  and  see  how  far  you  have  come." 

I  obeyed,  and  in  the  distance  saw  the  wreck, 
which  was  fast  disappearing  under  the  l)illows. 
I  gazed  upon  the  faces  of  tliose  who  looked  up 
to  me  in  eager  wonder,  clinging  to  my  cable. 
"With  every  stroke  of  ray  oar  the  anchor  grap- 
pled deeper  and  deeper  into  ni}'  bleeding  heart. 
Then  I  struck  back  with  m}^  living  freight  to 
the  sunny  land.  As  the  surpassing  glory  broke 
again  upon  my  sight  I  awoke,  and  found  my- 
self still  in  the  body  of  sin  and  suffering. 

From  that  day  I  date  the  new  light  which 
broke  upon  my  heart,  on  the  privilege  of  living 
here,  that  the  will  of  the  Father  may  be  done 
on  earth,  as  it  is  in  heaven.  Shall  unl)elief 
limit  the  tender  fellowship  of  the  Son  of  man, 
who  saith,  "  Without  me  ye  can  do  nothing"  ? 
And  shall  our  natural  understanding,  and  the 
adversary  of  souls,  insinuate  that  there  are  oc- 
casions too  trivial  for  the  con;(ideration  of  the 
God  of  the  whole  earth  ? 


20G  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

My  service  —  for  I  would  still  recognize  it 
as  service,  tliougli  it  will  appear  mean  to  otlier 
eyes  —  lias  been  principally  carried  on  in  way- 
side watching,  or  in  a  chamber  of  suffering,  in 
weakness,  in  strange  places,  and  in  solitude,  or 
under   what    appeared   unpropitious    circum- 
stances.    Did  I  regard  the  result  of  my  labors 
I  should  be  weary,  and  faint  by  the  way  ;  but 
it  is  impossible  to  estimate  here  how  much  we 
have  been  allowed  to  do  for  the  exercise  of  oui 
own  faith,  and  how  much  will  be  visible  to  the 
reapers.     Enough  if  we  have  sought  only  the 
will  of  Him  who  has  called  us  to  follow  him. 
The  wise  father  may  command  his  son  to  wield 
his  hammer  on  the  granite  rock.     Day  after 
day  the  feeble  stroke  may  become  stronger 
yet  the  granite  receives  but  a  few  faint  marks, 
that  a  graver's  chisel  might  have  traced.    Com- 
plainingiy  he  points  out  to  his  father  that  ho 
has  made  no  progress ;  yet  still   he  proceeds 
with  what  seems  profitless  labor.     The  fatlier 
■finds  him  patiently  at  his  work,  with  muscles 
developed  and  healthy  vigor  bracing  his  fi-ame : 
then  pointing  to  the  sinews  of  the  arm  that 


THE   RYMrATIIY   OF   JCSUS.  207 

have  oljcilicntlj'  performed  the  tusk  enjoined, 
he  smiles  on  liini.  That  smile  is  sweeter  to 
the  heart  of  the  obedient  child  than  Avithout 
it  M'onld  have  been  tlie  sight  of  an}'  monument 
of  granite  that  might  have  been  \\'r(night. 

"Herein  is  my  Father  glorified,  that  3'e  bear 
much  fruit ;  so  shall  ye  be  my  disciples."  Tlie 
fruit  must  spring  from  the  root:  "  I  came  not 
to  do  mine  oAvn  Avill,  but  the  will  of  him  that 
sent  me."  "  'J'his  is  the  work  of  God,  that  ye 
believe  on  him  whom  he  hath  sent." 

I  have  dwelt  upon  this,  in  consequence  of 
receiving  the  often  sorrowful  complaints,  of  my 
dear  brethren  and  sisters,  mourning  the  decay 
of  their  usefulness,  and  regretting  that  the 
aniictions  with  which  the  Father  has  visitecl 
them  liave  AvithdraAvn  them  from  the  busy  field. 
The  vine  does  not  labor,  it  gives  forth  its  fruit. 
The  Lord  docs  not  prune  and  dig  about  the 
wild  thoiii,  ])ut  about  trees  of  his  own  riolit 
hand  planting. 

One  of  mv  readers  mav  exclaim,  "•  We  have 
no  need  of  dreams  and  visions  to  teach  as."" 

I  answer,  '•'•Shall  not  the  Lord  do  n  hat  he 


208  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LOED. 

will  with  his  own?  "  The  Lord  cliose  to  mani- 
fest himself  in  this  gracious  way  to  me.  It 
may  be  said,  we  have  no  need  of  the  fair  blos- 
soms that  every  season  make  the  earth  glad 
and  bright ;  no  need  of  the  sweet  endearments 
of  loving  kindred,  and  the  unnumbered  bless- 
ings that  fall  upon  our  way. 

Oh,  ma}'  he  manifest  himself  how,  and  when, 
and  where  he  will  I — in  dreams  hy  night  and 
in  parables  by  day  ;  in  his  written  "Word ;  in 
his  providence  ;  in  the  strokes  of  adversit}'  and 
the  sufferings  of  this  mortal  body.  "  Sirs,  we 
would  see  JESUS." 


THE  GREAT   ADVERSARY.  209 


CHAPTER     IX. 

THE   GREAT   ADVERSARY. 

Wlial  shall  wo  do,  that  we  might  work  the  works  of  God? 
Jcs'ns  answered  and  said  unto  them,  Tliis  is  the  work  of 
God  that  ye  believe  on  Him  whom  He  hath  sent. 

John  vi.  28, 29. 

UTIIEN  the  Lord  claimed  Paul  as  his  own, 
}l^  the  first  M'ords  of  the  stricken  Pharisee 
evidenced  liis  desire  to  do  the  Lord^s  will. 
In  persecuting  Christ  in  liis  people,  he  has 
been  doing  his  own  will  long  enough.  The 
Lord  at  once  commands  as  to  the  first  step,  and 
gives  promise  of  further  direction :  arise,  and 
go  into  the  city."  "I  will  show  him  how 
great  things  he  must  suffer  for  my  sake"  was 
the  next  beam  of  light  upon  the  ministry  of 
the  apostle  of  the  Gentiles.  The  "  secret  of 
the  Lord  "  was  with  the  chosen  vessel,  and  he 
could  offer  himself  in  the  fidlness  of  confidinjj 
affection.  lie  had  heard  the  voice  of  Him 
who  spake  as  never  man  spake ;  and  then  he 
could  say,  "  I  am  ready  not  to  be  bound  only, 


210     THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

but  also  to  die  at  Jerusalem  for  the  name  of 
tlie  Lord  Jesus." 

Stephen,  a  man  full  of  faith  and  of  the  Holy- 
Ghost,  is  chosen  to  serve  tables  ;  but  he  "  did 
great  wonders  and  miracles  among  the  people," 
and  "they  were  not  able  to  resist  the  Tvusdom 
and  the  spirit  by  which  he  spake."  Not  only 
were  the  tables  served,  and  the  truth  declared 
by  word  of  mouth  —  a  prophecy  of  no  smooth 
things ;  but  we  are  at  once  shown  the  enmity 
of  the  world  to  the  Holy  Spirit,  for  the  liearers 
were  cut  to  the  heart,  and  gnashed  on  him 
with  theii'  teeth.  Had  he  sought  to  please  man 
by  interesting  his  auditory,  or  flattering  their 
intelligence,  they  had  not  stoned  him  to  death ; 
nor  would  he  have  been  enabled  to  look  stead- 
fastly into  heaven,  and  see  the  glory  of  God, 
and  Jesus  standing  at  the  right  hand  of  God. 
The  Lord  needs  witnesses  in  this  present  evil 
world.  Much  fruit  is  not  recorded  as  the 
result  of  Stephen's  last  sermon,  though  he  laid 
down  his  Hfe  for  the  preaching  thereof.  But 
what  had  he  done  ?  —  the  ivill  of  Him  that  sent 
him.     And  that  witness  for  his  Lord  and  Mas- 


THE   GREAT   ADVERSARY.  211 

ter  has  been  blessed  to  millions  of  sduIs,  and 
will  be  blessed  to  millions  more.  Like  his 
Lord,  he  prays  first  for  his  murderers;  and  the 
result  is,  the  gospel  proclaimed  far  and  near 
by  word  of  mouth,  and  the  power  of  the  same 
Spirit  felt,  by  one  at  that  time  a  Pharisee  of 
the  Pharisees  —  a  young  man  named  Saul. 
"  Ye  shall  receive  power,  after  that  the  Holy 
Ghost  is  come  upon  you  ;  and  ye  shall  be  wit- 
nesses unto  me,"  is  the  last  promise  of  the  risen 
Saviour. 

In  these  last  days,  when  Antichrist  is  ram- 
pant, with  infidelity  and  spiritualism  on  one 
hand,  and  Romish  superstition  on  the  other, 
we  need  to  test  the  subtle  work  of  the  Evil 
One,  who  is  steaUng  on  us  as  an  angel  of  light, 
to  deceive,  if  it  were  possible,  the  very  elect. 
"  To  the  law  and  to  the  testimony ;  if  they 
speak  not  according  to  this  word,  it  is  because 
there  is  no  li^lit  in  them."  In  the  ark  of  the 
covenant  there  was  no  i)lace  for  man's  theol- 
0"v  :  the  law  of  the  Lord  alone  \\  as  there.  In 
the  heart  of  Jesus  there  was  onl}-  room  for 
God :  "  I  delight  to  do  thy  will,  O  my  God : 


212  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

yea,  tliy  law  is  within  my  heart."  "  Ye  are 
my  witnesses,  saith  the  Lord,  and  my  servant 
whom  I  have  chosen  ;  that  ye  may  know  and 
believe  me,  and  understand  that  I  am  he." 
Ps.  xl.  8  ;   Isa.  xliii.  10. 

It  is  not  given  to  all,  like  Peter,  to  preach, 
and  then  to  see  three  thousand  converts  as  the 
fruit  of  their  sermon  ;  or,  like  Stephen,  to  Le 
stoned  for  the  f^iithful  delivery  of  his  Master's 
message  ;  but  it  is  given  tp  all  to  take  up  the 
cross  dailv,  and  follow  the  Lamb  whitherso- 
ever  he  goeth. 

"  Henceforth  I  call  you  not  servants,  for  the 
servant  knoweth  not  what  his  lord  doeth  ;  but 
I  have  called  yon  friends. ^^  John  xv.  15.  This 
was  not  spoken  by  the  Lord  to  the  multitude 
around,  nor  to  his  mother  and  brethren  who 
stood  without,  but  to  those  dear  companions 
of  three  years'  ministry  who  sat  about  him. 
"  Behold  my  mother  and  my  bretluren  ;  for 
whosoever  shall  do  the  will  of  my  Father 
which  is  in  lieaven,  the  same  is  my  brother, 
and  sister,  and  mother."  Matt.  xii.  49,  50. 
That  we   may  know  his  will,  and  do  it,  we 


TIIE   GREAT   ADVERSARY.  213 

have  tlic  inMlible  guide  of  Lis  Word,  the  pro- 
mise to  the  single  eye  and  the  pure  heart. 
"  When  he  putteth  forth  his  own  sheep,  he 
goeth  before  them,  and  the  sheep  follow  him  • 
for  they  know  his  voice."     John  x.  4. 

If  the  Holy  Spirit  guides  you  to  follow  the 
Lord  in  action,  3'ou  may  expect  that  obstacles 
will  arise  in  your  path.  These  may  appear  of 
little  consequence  when  you  yield  to  them,  but 
they  will  become  the  beam  in  the  eye  that 
shall  mar  the  vision,  and  in  the  end  will  bring 
forth  disappointment  and  pain. 

Satan  will  not  present  to  you  what  he  would 
offer  to  the  worldling:  it  will  be  some  form  of 
"good  works"  that  shall  draw  you  from  the 
path  of  simple  obedience  in  which  the  Lord 
has  called  you  to  follow  him ;  or  it  may  be 
some  trivial  act  that  will  appear  of  little  im- 
portance whether  you  do  it  or  not.  He  will 
])lace  before  you  a  natural  enjoj'ment  that  shall 
lull  you  to  slumber,  when  you  need  special 
vigilance  ;  or  tempt  you  to  a  weak  yielding  of 
{irinciple  or  action,  that  the  natural  under- 
sianding  translates  as  being  "all  things  to  all 


214     THE  SECRET  OF  THE  LORD. 

meu,"  to  lure  you  from  the  path  of  simplicity 
in  which  you  desire  to  walk.  Give  not  room 
for  temptation  ;  no,  not  for  a  moment.  "  Resist 
the  devil,  and  he  will  flee  from  3'ou." 

We  are  long  in  learning  what  a  fertile  field 
of  temptation  is  open  to  Satan  in  the  mind 
and  the  imagination.  The  wicked  spirits  in 
heavenly  places  do  not  war  with  worldlings, 
but  with  the  Christian  soldier  who  is  looking 
for  victory  in  the  strength  of  our  great  Fore- 
runner within  the  veil.  We  may  have  taken 
one  step  in  dependence  on  the  Lord,  and  the 
result  may  be  very  different  from  that  which 
we  anticipated.  Discouraged  and  disappointed, 
if  we  seek  not  the  sanctuary  of  the  God  of 
Jacob,  we  become  an  easy  prey  to  doubt  and 
distrust.  The  Accuser  injects  fear  into  the 
mind.  And  if  we  do  not  put  on  the  whole 
armor  of  God,  we  are  again  brought  into  legal 
bondage.  The  eye  of  faith  is  taken  off  the 
object  of  faith,  and  fixed  on  self.  This  is  an 
unsatisfactory  centre,  and  leads  far  from  peace. 
"  In  me  ye  shall  have  peace." 

"  Return  unto  thy  rest,  O  my  soul !  "  Christ 


THE   GKEAT   ADVERS^UIY.  215 

is  thy  wisdom.  Those  very  events  which  you 
are  deploring,  and  on  account  of  which  you 
have  been  led  faithlessly  to  say  "It  cannot  be 
of  the  Lord,"  are  perhaps  the  very  circum- 
stances which  were  to  spring  from  the  step 
you  took. 

I  am  not  supposing  a  case  of  needless  action, 
but  one  of  watchful,  prayful  seeking  to  do  his 
will.  Self-judgment  is  one  thing ;  the  accusa- 
tion of  the  enemy  of  souls  is  another.  We 
look  to  the  mercy-seat ;  the  blood .  is  there  to 
cleanse.  But  if  3'ou  look  for  certain  jDOsitive 
results  as  the  fruit  of  the  step  you  took,  mar- 
vel not  that  you  are  disappointed. 

The  Lord  has  promised  that  we  shall  know 
his  will.  He  has  nowhere  covenanted  that  we 
shall  understand  his  ivay.  His  command  is 
"In  all  thy  ways  acknowledge  him,  and  he 
shall  direct  thy  paths."  This  commandment  is 
exceeding  broad,  and  embraces  every  possible 
contingency.  It  is  not  in  much  pondering  on 
residts,  or  in  much  serving,  that  Satan  is  kept 
at  bay ;  but  by  a  simple,  child-like  dependence 
on  a  faitliful  God  and  Father. 


216      THE  SECEET  OF  THE  LORD. 

The  gracious  Lord,  who  giveth  liberall}^  and 
upbraideth  not,  has  taught  me,  at  various  sea- 
sons of  my  spiritual  life,  through  his  hidden 
ones.  And  often,  in  sohtary  places,  when  I 
have  longed  for  Christian  fellowship,  he  has 
guided  me  to  some  one  as  lonely  as  myself, 
through  whom  I  have  been  instructed.  At 
such  a  season  he  once  led  me,  after  many  days 
of  prayer,  to  a  cabin  on  the  roadside,  so  rudely 
constructed  with  planks,  that  in  passing  I 
wondered  if  it  were  inhabited.  One  morning 
I  reached  it.  The  door  was  ajar,  and,  looking 
in,  I  saw  an  aged  woman,  whose  back  was 
towards  me ;  she  was  peeling  potatoes.  On 
one  side  of  her  was  the  kettle,  into  which 
when  prepared  she  dropped  them ;  on  the 
other  side  was  the  basket ;  but  before  her  was 
an  open  Bible,  into  which  she  glanced  from 
time  to  time  as  she  proceeded  with  her  work. 
Near  her  was  a  girl  of  about  eight  years  of 
age. 

I  watched  them  for  a  few  minutes  unob- 
served, then  gently  placing  my  hand  upon  the 
woman's  shoulder,  I  spoke  of  Him  whose  mes- 


THE  GREAT   ADVEIISARY.  217 

sage  of  love  lay  beneath  her  finger.  The  sim- 
ple wisdom  of  her  reply  made  me  glad  in  the 
Lord. 

I  asked  to  whom  the  child  belonged. 

"  To  me,"  she  answered  ;  "  she  is  my  grand- 
child." 

I  said  to  the  child,  '^  Do  you  know  tliiit 
jour  grandmother  is  the  daughter  of  a  King  ?  " 

The  old  disciple  bent  her  head  backward, 
and  looking  in  ray  face  with  a  beaming  smile, 
answered, 

"  Thou  also  art  one  of  them  ;  for  thy  speech 
bewrayeth  thee." 

"  The  royal  family  are  poor  here." 

"  No,"  said  my  bright-faced  friend,  "  no  ; 
we're  rich,  now,  rich  now.  INIy  Father  owns 
the  cattle  on  a  thousand  hills,  and  every  beast 
of  the  forest  is  his." 

She  had  been  feasting  on  the  bread  that 
Cometh  down  from  heaven,  and  her  face  told 
of  whom  she  had  been  talcing  sweet  counsel. 

When  I  saw  her  again  it  was  no  longer  thus 
with  her.  She  was  greatly  depressed.  She 
had  been   ill,  and   sorely  buffeted  by  Satan. 


218         TjIE  seceet  op  the  lord. 

Slie  replied  to  somethmg  I  had  said  on  Satan's 
devices  to  stumble  the  saints : 

"Yes,  I  know  that  it  is  sin  that  makes  my 
sorrow.  Satan  is  like  a  dog ;  if  you  leave  the 
door  ajar,  he  puts  in  his  head ;  and  then,  if  you 
do  not  shut  the  door,  he  puts  in  his  paw ;  and 
if  you  don't  get  up  and  slam  the  door,  he  gets 
in  his  whole  body.  Ah,  ma'am,  I  don't  slam 
the  door  in  his  face.  I  wish  I  could  always 
do  that.  Just  as  often  I  open  the  door,  set  a 
chair  for  the  Evil  One,  and  let  him  be  seated." 

"Be  of  good  courage,"  I  said;  "  Jesus  has 
overcome  liim,  and  you  will  overcome  in  his 
strength." 

"  I  have  been  thinking,"  she  said.  "  I  have 
been  very  ill,  and  cordd  not  get  up,  and  so  I 
have  had  a  good  deal  of  time  to  think,  you  see. 
I  am  come  to  the  conclusion  that  there  is  noth- 
ing like  a  child  of  grace  in  me." 

"  That  is  Satan  at  the  door,"  I  said,  trjing 
to  draw  her  from  her  sadness. 

"  No,  ma'am,  no,"  she  said  despondingly,  "  I 
am  not  a  bit  like  those  good  old  martyrs.  I 
said  to  mj'self  last  night,  when   I  could  not 


THK  GllEAT   ADVEESABY.  219 

sleep,  'Now,  I  say  I  love  God;  now  would  I 
die  for  him  ?  Would  I  be  sawn  in  two,  or 
burned  on  a  gridiron,  or  with  fagots  in  the 
market-place,  or  be  torn  in  pieces,  for  the  faith 
that's  in  me?'  No!"  repeatedthc  poor  old 
woman,  shaldng  her  head  sorrowfUly,  while 
her  wan  face  told  how  real  had  been  the  con- 
flict.    Satan  had  put  in  his  paw. 

"  Has  the  Lord  called  on  you  to  be  burned 
in  the  market-place,  or  to  be  torn  in  pieces  ?  " 
I  inquired.  "  If  so,  be  sure  that  he  will  give 
to  you,  as  he  did  to  his  martyrs  of  old,  grace 
to  witness  for  him.  Dying  grace  for  dying 
hours.     '  Without  me  ye  can  do  nothing.'  " 

"I  see  it!"  she  exclaimed  joyfully,  "I  see 

it!" 

And  Satan  ceased  to  fight,  for  the  harassed 
dove  was  resting  in  the  bosom  of  redeemuig 
love. 


^S^ 


220  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LOED. 


CHAPTER    X. 


TESTIMONY. 


Jesus  saith  unto  him,  Have  I  been  so  long  lime  with  you,  and 
yet  hast  tliou  not  know  me  ?  — John  xiv.  9. 


'EVER  yet  was  a  soul  born  again  of  God  to 
be  placed  in  such  a  position  that  fellow- 
qJs  ship  with  Jesus  was  unattainable.  That 
would  be  to  deny  us  the  only  solace  here,  the 
brightest  hope  for  eternity.  What  can  com- 
pare for  a  moment  with  the  favor  of  the  King's 
countenance  ?  The  smile  of  Jesus  is  a  fore- 
taste of  that  bliss  which  we  look  to  enjoy  as  an 
everlasting  portion.  It  is  love  that  makes  the 
pilgrim's  home  of  glory.  It  is  not  the  promise 
of  "no  more  pain"  to  the  sick,  nor  of  ties  of 
earth  re-knit  to  the  mourner,  that  constitutes 
the  bliss  of  heaven.  It  is  that  which  makes 
our  delight  here — the  unclouded  presence  and 
companionship  of  a  risen  Lord  and  Saviour. 

When,    commissioned   by   their  Lord,   the 
mourning  women  went  forth  to  tell  to  his  dis- 


TESTLMONY.  221 

ciplcs  tl.c  glad  tidings  of  his  resurrection,  the 
disciples  treated  it  as  an  idle  tale,  and  believed 
them  not.  Nevertlieless,  this  did  not  invali- 
date the  fact.  Those  who  ^\■erc  most  inter- 
ested in  the  matter  ran  to  llie  toiiih,  notwith- 
standing that  the  Avomen  had  proclaimed  that 
Jesus  had  risen.  They  desired  to  assure  tliera- 
selves  that  it  was  no  fabrication  of  excited  feel- 
ing, but  a  confirmation  of  the  promise  so  ten- 
derly spoken  to  console  them,  had  tluj  but 
believed.  Mark  xiv.  27,  28.  Their  heavenly 
Master,  having  foretold  their  denial  and  deser- 
tion, did  not  withdraw  his  love.  He  continu- 
eth  faithful. 

To  the  travelers  to  Emmaus  he  appeared  in 
"  another  form  ;"  but  it  was  the  same  Jesus. 
Mark  xvi.  12.  They  had  equally  to  endure 
the  rejection  of  their  testimon}-,  as  the  Avomeu 
had  done,  because  that  testimony  embraced  a 
clearer  revelation  of  the  person  of  Jesus  than 
others  had  then  received.  Oh,  if  their  hearts 
burned  within  them  by  the  way,  how  was  it 
that  the}^  wist  not  that  it  was  Jesus  ?  Who 
besides  could  open  their  understanding  to  un- 


222  THE   SECEET   OF   THE   LORD. 

derstand  the  Scriptures,  which  testified  of  these 
things  ?  Having  once  felt  him  near  them,  liow 
could  they  willingly  part  with  this  blessed 
companion  of  their  lonely  way  ?  Well  might 
they  pray  him  to  "  abide  "  with  them.  Was 
he  hard  to  be  entreated  ?  No  !  When  did  he 
yet  leave  the  soul  that  drinks  life,  and  joy,  and 
strength  fi-om  his  presence  only  ? 

While  the  friends  of  Jesus  were  receiving 
only  the  testimony  of  others  they  doubted. 
He  had  been  long  time  with  them,  and  yet 
they  had  not  known  him.  John  xiv.  9.  They 
journeyed  with  him  as  a  stranger ;  they  spoke 
of  the  things  which  had  been  done,  but  not  of 
his  words,  which  should  have  prepared  them 
for  what  had  happened.  But  he  communed 
with  them.  He  lets  them  hold  him  by  their 
loving  constraint.  Song  of  Solomon,  iii.  4.  He 
breaks  to  them  the  bread,  the  hallowed  tok- 
en, his  divine  legacy ;  and  then  indeed  he  is 
recognized  as  their  ever-living  God  and  Sav- 
iour. Ah,  then  they  waited  not  to  discuss 
with  the  multitude,  who  knew  him  not, 
whether  such  things  could  be.    The  fire  within 


TESTDroxv.  223 


their  own  breasts  witnessed  with  wboiti  they 
had  walked  and  tallced. 

Dear  soul,  do  you  believe  that  you  may  be 
so  satisfied  with  the  conii)aniouship  of  Jesus, 
that  earth's  passing  pleasures  cease  to  win  :i 
desire  after  them  ?  If  you  have  a  Friend 
fairer  than  the  children  of  men,  one  whose 
lips  are  full  of  grace  and  truth,  you  have  a 
more  powerful  magnet  than  the  world's  fasci- 
nations. Do  you  believe  this  ?  Or  do  you 
aver  that  this  companionship  is  a  theory  of  the 
imagination  only  ?  Look  well  to  it.  Such  a 
thought  is  not  of  God,  but  from  the  father  of 
lies.  You  may  cavil  at  my  words  ;  but  search 
the  Scriptures,  and  seek  tliis  communion  ex- 
perimentally. If  you  are  as  sincere  as  Thomas 
was,  go  to  the  Lord  himself,  and  he  will  solve 
your  doubt.  Why  give  the  half-hearted  assent 
that  brings  neither  rest  to  yourself  nor  glory 
to  your  Lord?  Why  not  be  a  vessel  sancti- 
fied and  meet  for  the  Master's  use  ?  He  is  as 
willing  to  give  His  presence  now,  as  when  in 
the  morning  twilight  on  the  shores  of  Tiberias 
he  invited  the  toiling  disciples  to  leave  their 


224  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

nets,  exchanging  for  them  that  companionship 
which  he  desired  more  than  themselves. 

The  blessing  of  the  soul  that  belie veth  li^s 
in  fellowship.  Sin  is  the  odc  only  circum- 
stance that  can  destroy  it.  There  are  days 
when  our  eyes  may  be  holden  that  we  cannot 
see  him  ;  but  we  must  look  for  him  and  expect 
him.  The  Lord  does  not  call  us  to  the  war- 
fare at  our  own  charges  ;  and  the  difficulties 
which  sometimes  seem  io  obstruct  the  path  in 
which  we  have  souo'ht  to  walk  with  him  are 
but  answers  to  former  prayers  for  patience  and 
meekness.  But  we  must  believe  that  he  is 
willing  to  remove  the  obstacles  in  our  wa}*,  or 
enable  us  to  overcome  them,  as  shall  be  most 
to  his  glory. 

I  have  never  committed  the  least  matter  to 
him  that  I  have  not  had  reason  for  endless 
praise.  Praise  which  I  have  begun  here,  for 
the  results  which  he  has  allowed  me  to  see, 
and  praise  Avhich  I  feel  assured  is  to  be  eternal, 
for  what  I  shall  see  hereafter. 

The  infidel  will  sav,  the-re  are  certain  laAvs 
which  will  be   carried  on,   whether  you  see 


TESTDIONT.  22o 

them  or  not,  wliellier  you  pray  or  not.  Wlien 
Christ  says  he  is  Wisdom,  and  that  all  things 
are  mine,  I  understand  that  wisdom  is  mine, 
and  I  may  seek  it.  How  can  I,  a  poor  help- 
less worm,  think  to  direct  the  smallest  matter 
in  any  wisdom  of  my  own  ?  The  poison  of 
death  is  on  everything  that  was  made  good  and 
beautiful  in  its  time. 

How  often  has  some  evidence  of  his  tender 
care  humbled  and  brought  back  the  Avandering 
heart,  while  the  expected  chastening  has 
passed  by  !  There  glided  in  the  beam  of  His 
sweet  compassion.  His  voice  has  whispered, 
"I  have  not  forgotten  thou  art  dust;  I  Avill. 
never  leave  thee,  nor  forsake  thee." 

We  fondly  prize  the  expressions  of  affec- 
tionate remembrance  from  a  beloved  fi-iend  in 
another  land  —  seeds,  perhaps,  of  a  foreign 
flower  we  are  to  rear  on  English  ground  —  a 
text  written  out  for  us  —  some  handicraft  of 
busy  fingers,  not  of  much  worth  in  otLers' 
eyes,  and  valueless  to  those  who,  it  may  ]je, 
neither  know  nor  love  the  beloved  one  who  so 
fondly  remembers  us.     To  us  they  are  treas- 


226      THE  SECRET  OP  THE  LORD. 

ures.  "VVe  read  tlierein  tlie  love  that  designed, 
and  the  care  that  accomplished  all  for  us. 
How  humbling  it  is  to  remember,  that  while 
the  vessel  which  conveyed  the  gifts  was  speed- 
ing on  its  way,  we  were  untnie  to  or  forgetful 
of  the  giver.  But  this  is  fallible  love,  love 
that  to-morrow  may  change,  which  doubt  or 
suspicion  may  at  least  have  clouded.  God's 
love  changes  not  —  it  is  everlasting.  "  God  is 
faithful,  by  whom  ye  were  called  unto  the  fel- 
lowship of  his  Son  Jesus  Christ."  You  who 
have  proved  this  testify  in  your  daily  walk 
that  you  have  to  do  with  a  living  God.  All 
power  is  given  unto  him. 

In  so  far  as  you  keep  close  company  with 
the  King  will  your  conversation  declare  plain- 
ly that  you  seek  another  country,  even  a 
heavenly.  He  who  rejoiced  in  the  habitable 
parts  of  the  earth,  and  whose  dehghts  were 
with  the  sons  of  men,  Proverbs  viii.,  rejoices 
over  the  new  creation  now.  To  all  that  he 
has  received  from  the  Father  he  bids  wilhng 
hearts  welcome.  He  longs  after  that  fellow- 
ship with  his  people  which  the  evil  heart  of 


TESTEMONT.  227 

unbelief  alone  prevents  the  soul  born  of  God 
fi-om  enjoying. 

Why  forfeit  one  hour  of  lieavenly  commun- 
ion for  any  earthly  mess  of  pottage,  however 
sweet  to  nature,  —  whether  the  snare  come  in 
the  form  of  active  work  of  our  own  devising, 
or  some  meaner  pleasm*e  over  which  we  are 
left  to  wxep  bitter  tears  ?  No  matter  what  it 
is  that  you  have  discovered  to  hide  his  beauty ; 
even  if  it  seem  laAvful,  it  must  be  placed  in  liis 
hands.  If  it  is  of  the  flesh,  take  it  to  him, 
and  he  will  consume  it,  and  deliver  you.  No 
matter  what  it  be,  take  it  to  Jesus.  Let  no- 
tliing  rob  you  of  jouv  joy.  He  is  able  to  save 
to  the  uttermost.  He  knows  how  to  dehver 
you  out  of  temptation,  so  that  you  may  walk 
with  him  in  the  light,  cleansed  from  all  sin. 

Have  you  not  experienced  circumstances 
and  opportunity  leagued  against  you  on  ac- 
count of  some  besetting  sin  ?  and  has  he  not 
been  faithful  and  given  3'ou  power  to  cry, 
"Let  me  not  do  this  great  wickedness  and 
sin  against  God  ? "  And  he  has  deUvered 
you ;   and  he  has  made  a  way  of  escape,  and 


228  THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 

cheered  yonr  soul  with  tender  sjnnpathy. 
*'  There  hath  no  temptation  taken  joxi  hut 
such  as  is  common  to  man :  hut  God  is  faith- 
ful, who  will  not  suffer  you  to  he  tempted 
ahove  that  ye  are  able ;  hut  will  with  the 
temptation  also  make  a  way  to  escape,  that 
ye  may  be  able  to  bear  it."     1  Cor.  x.  13. 

If  you  are  one  with  Christ,  then  you  expect 
to  reign  with  him,  to  share  his  glory  eternally, 
and  you  desire  his  fellowship  he7'e.  Have  you 
counted  the  cost?  There  are  temptations  in 
the  wilderness.  You  may  have  to  watch  with 
him  through  midnight  hours,  with  no  earthly 
friend  to  bear  you  company.  On  the  road 
there  may  be  Gethsemanes  you  never  di-eamed 
of.  There  is  the  cross,  from  which  there  is  no 
escape.  Will  j^ou  turn  aside  from  following 
Jesus,  when  he  will  be  the  companion  of  your 
way  ?  Will  you  not  in  his  strength  take  on 
you  the  easy  yoke  of  the  will  of  the  Father  and 
learn  of  him  who  carried  it  before  you  ? 

The  simple  faith  that  works  by  love  will 
keep  the  bright  hope  of  your  calling  before 
you.      You  will  center  all   yonr  delights  in 


TESTDIONY.  229 

him,  and  realize  liis  delight  in  you.  Legal 
bondage  is  incompatible  with  fellowship  ;  for 
the  fear  of  the  Lord  is  to  hate  evil,  —  not  the 
fear  of  a  slave  toward  his  master,  nor  of  a  cul- 
prit toward  his  judge  ;  but  the  fear  of  the  Lord 
is  strong  confidence,  and  his  cliildrcn  shall 
have  a  place  of  refuge. 

Fellowship  with  Jesus  lies  not  alone  in  plea- 
surable emotions ;  you  must  learn  it  in  suffer- 
ing and  in  service.  Have  you,  out  of  your  full 
heart's  happiness,  babbled  some  of  its  sweet 
secrets  to  one  who  knows  not  their  precious- 
ness,  and  been  met  by  the  cautious  doubt  and 
scorn  of  a  fellow-traveler?  Those  who  live 
contented  with  knowing  very  little  of  the  Lord, 
who  has  laid  down  his  life  for  them  when 
snemies,  Rom.  v.  8,  will  treat  the  idea  of  his 
companionship  as  a  chimera,  and  the  breathing 
of  liis  Holy  Spirit  in  the  temple  of  his  praise 
as  fanaticism,  or  as  an  idle  tale. 

Fear  not !  You  are  only  learning  to  walk 
in  a  path  he  has  akeady  trodden.  "When  the 
people  said,  "  Thou  hast  a  devil,  and  art  mad," 
neither  did  his  brethren  believe  in  him.  "  Bless« 


230     THE  SECKET  OF  THE  LOED. 

ed  "  are  ye  who  are  thus  reviled,  for  he  has 
pronounced  it.  You  will  press  closer  to  his 
wounded  side,  and  say,  "  Thou  knowest  all 
things  ;  thou  knowest  that  I  love  thee."  Let 
your  words  be  few.  The  power  will  live  in 
your  life.  Christians  who  are  content  with 
externals  will  not  comprehend  that  divine 
strength  which  arises  from  intercourse  with 
him.  But  guard  it  jealously.  Amid  the  storms 
of  earth,  it  will  keep  your  heart  fixed,  and 
yourself  at  peace,  without  one  desire  for  those 
palling  pleasures  that  find  a  place  in  the  hearts 
of  lukewarm  Christians. 

Yet  conceal  not  the  fruit  of  the  land,  be 
faithful  to  the  light  he  has  given  you,  for  "  to 
him  which  hath  shall  be  given."  The  day  may 
not  be  distant  when  others  also  may  long  for  a 
better  portion  ;  and  though  they  now  despise 
the  pleasant  land,  and  disbelieve  the  word  of 
the  Lord,  yet  some  day  they  may  whisper, 
"  Let  us.go  up."  He  who  was  your  shield  shall 
be  your  exceeding  great  reward.  Fear  not ! 
speak  of  that  good  land  which  the  Lord  our 
God  doth  give  us.  Oh,  tell  them  of  that  "land 


TESTIMONY.  231 

of  brooks  of  water,  of  fountains  and  depths  that 
spring  out  of  valleys  and  hills."  Let  them  hear 
that  "  the  Lord  thy  God  he  is  God,  the  ^lith- 
fid  God,  that  keepeth  covenant  and  mercy 
with  them  that  love  him."  "  For  they  got  not 
the  land  in  possession  by  their  own  sword, 
neither  did  their  own  arm  save  them  :  but  thy 
right  hand,  and  thine  arm,  and  the  light  of  thy 
countenance,  because  thou  hadst  a  favor  unto 
them."     Ps.  xliv.  3. 

Think  not  that  in  this  walk  of  faith  all  the 
trials,  and  conflicts,  and  afflictions,  of  the 
wilderness  have  come  to  an  end.  The  old 
Adam  is  not  dead,  though  dying  daily ;  but 
his  last  groan  will  be  the  first  note  of  the 
song  of  triumph  :  "  Death  is  swallowed  up  in 
victory ! " 

The  fruit  of  sanctification  springs  from  the 
root  of  redemption.  Love  to  him  who  bought 
us  will  not  wax  less  fervent  if  he  permits  us 
to  learn  how  sore  are  the  wounds  from  an  evil 
heart  of  unbelief.  Whether  this  is  taught  at 
conversion,  through  the  first  deep  waters  of 
conviction,  or  whether  it  be  by  gradual  expe- 


232  THE   SECRET   OF  THE  LORD. 

rience,  may  differ  witli  individuals  ;  but  this 
spiritual  knowledge  must  be  learned  here. 
God  knows  what  is  in  the  heart  of  man ;  but 
he  would  have  men  learn  somethinsr  of  it  also. 

The  fiery  darts  of  the  Wicked  One  may  as- 
sail the  child  of  God,  but  "  no  weapon  that  is 
formed  against  thee  shall  prosper."  Isa.  Hv.  17. 
No  difficulty  which  seems  to  obstruct  his  path 
in  heavenly  communion,  but  shall  in  the  end 
prove  how  "good  is  the  Lord."  Thus  we  learn 
that  the  God  of  the  hills  is  the  God  of  the  val- 
leys, and  the  place  of  weeping  becomes  the 
valley  of  blessing. 

Nothing  can  supply  the  place  of  secret  com- 
munion —  deep  realized  intercourse  with  the 
Friend  of  sinners  and  the  King  of  saints ! 
Stint  not  yourself  of  this  privilege.  Neither 
teaching,  nor  preaching,  nor  works ;  neither 
books  of  devotion,  nor  communion  of  saints, 
can  supply  this  loss.  No  commentary  on  his 
holy  Word  can  bring  you  the  fresh  glory  of 
the  light  he  gives  direct  from  himself.  It  is 
the  bread  broken  and  given  by  his  own  hand 
for  your  daily  sustenance.     Meditate  upon  it, 


TESTIMONY.  233 

then  will  it  be  3'our  delight,  and  you  will  he 
able  to  say,  "  TIow  sweet  are  thy  words  unto 
my  taste :  .  .  .  therefore  I  esteem  all  thy  pre- 
cejjts  concerning  all  things  to  be  right."  Ps. 
cxix.  He  has  promised  to  manifest  himself  to 
us,  as  he  doth  not  unto  the  world.  Shall  we 
not  take  God  at  his  Avord,  and  believe  in  him 
who  has  said,  "  Lo,  I  am  with  you  alway"? 

As  there  is  deeper  anguish  than  language 
can  express,  but  which  is  communicated  sym- 
pathetically, so  there  are  deeper  foretastes  of 
the  fellowship  of  Jesus,  which  is  hereafter  to 
satisfy  us,  than  can  be  told  by  words.  You 
must  yourself  taste  of  the  sweetness  to  under- 
stand it.  But  shall  any  therefore  delay  enter- 
ing into  the  state  of  rest  ? 

Do  you  ask  for  a  joy  that  shall  never  perish  ? 
—  a  hope  that  will  never  wax  dim  ?  Do  j'ou 
sigh  for  an  interest  that  every  day  shall  in- 
crease and  deepen,  and  a  peace  passing  all  un- 
derstanding ?  Place  your  hand  in  the  pierced 
hand  of  Jesus,  and  walk  with  God  ;  for  "  truly 
our  fellowship  is  with  the  Father,  and  with 
his  Son  Jesus  Christ." 


234 


THE   SECRET   OF   THE   LORD. 


"  I  thank  thee,  O  Father,  Lord  of  heaven 
and  earth,  because  thou  hast  hid  these  tilings 
from  the  wise  and  prudent,  and  hast  revealed 
them  unto  habes.  Even  so.  Father  ;  for  so  it 
seemed  good  in  thy  sight."     Matt.  xi.  25,  26. 


anir.ijwt^i 


jl»»V-»»#*>*»*Vi**»MW. » ■ 


.w^;^»V:. 


-•.  i:/ 


'V/^^ivi-'^  r^ri 


